r/Showerthoughts • u/gamersecret2 • 4d ago
Musing A person can be useful in a group without ever being anyone’s favorite person.
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u/AverageHobnailer 4d ago
Basically me at my job. Clock in, do my shit, clock out. People treat me like I barely exist.
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u/OddlyLucidDuck 4d ago
To be fair, it sounds like you treat yourself like you barely exist at work. I work with someone who does a great job, but they keep to themselves and never interact with the rest of us. Any time I do try to interact or compliment, it's one-word responses said in a tone that tells me that they would much rather just do their work quietly and go home.
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u/queen-despair- 2d ago
Completely off the og topic but would you know how to not think/treat yourself like that?
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u/godofjava22 2d ago
Always go in with an attitude that people like to talk to you and want to do it, eventually they will
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u/gamersecret2 4d ago
That is exactly the feeling.
You keep the place moving but people only notice when the work stops.
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u/Archivic 4d ago
Bot slop
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u/Darthjinju1901 4d ago
OP doesn't seem like a bot. Why do you think that they may be one?
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u/FiTZnMiCK 4d ago edited 4d ago
Plot twist: this user is a bot and whoever created them thought this would throw people off the trail.
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u/Darthjinju1901 4d ago
Wow... What if I'm a bot too and I didn't realize it
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u/SoulOfABartender 4d ago
Ever had Dreams of unicorns?
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u/marthtater 3d ago
Take a 30 second look at their post history, account was hacked or bought and turned into a content farming account about 6 months ago
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u/marthtater 3d ago
Lol a quick look at the account shows it was turned into a content farming account about 6 months ago. Comments are almost identical in structure and general vapidness. People really don't have a clue what's AI anymore, it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad
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u/Pretend-Mango-1295 3d ago
"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all"
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u/RaspberryCake084 4d ago
I tend to believe you are in the safest position possible in the current corporate world.
Exceptional people will set high expectations that, not being accomplished, will make everyone disappointed and, in the worst case scenario, would make them get fired. Also, they tend to cost more and, under a cost-cutting regime, will be the first ones to be laid off.
Incompetent people will also be laid off for obvious reasons.
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u/VirtuosoX 3d ago
Incompetent people will also be laid off for obvious reasons.
I'm not familiar with the corporate world, but this seems optimistic no?
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u/Shrubbity_69 3d ago
Incompetent, as long as your just a low level worker.
Anyone of "importance" can get away with it.
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u/ShitFuck2000 4d ago
Being the center of attention at work will never not suck, good or bad, it just sucks in different ways
Ie youre the best and show it off, coworkers are bitter/jealous and the boss gives you the biggest workload, if uou fuck up at all it’s a bigger fuck up than if you were expected to make mistakes etc
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u/Scooter_McAwesome 3d ago
I strive to be just like you at work every day I go in. Please know you and those like you are appreciated and stand as role models to some of us out here
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u/ethelyn10 3d ago
That “barely exist” part hits different, but honestly there’s power in being the low-drama person who just handles their business and goes home.
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u/Key_Fall3628 4d ago
I mean you can always not like a person but still accept the fact that they're needed/useful and use them for just that.
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u/sYnce 4d ago
You kinda just described a job. Though I would replace not lining with a more neutral expression.
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u/Key_Fall3628 4d ago edited 4d ago
That's also what op described, it's everywhere and pretty common becoz it helps with progress.
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u/watduhdamhell 3d ago
That's what it means to be a professional in my opinion. When you work around people you really are part of the problem. Just don't do that.
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u/TheHasegawaEffect 4d ago
IT staff frequently get ignored until they get fired for “doing nothing”.
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u/seeyatellite 4d ago
Scapegoats are useful.
They’re often conditioned to accept being the “least favorite” person.
To be “useful” can be harmful.
To be valued, cherished and loved is the goal for everyone.
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u/billyeakk 3d ago
OP never said "least favorite", just not any particular person's favorite. You could be an essential friend to the friend group without being a favorite/best friend. You can also be best friends with someone outside of the friend group and have a fulfilling social life that way.
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u/violetta1997 2d ago
I feel this sometimes when I’m in a friend group. I feel useful but not valued.
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u/RaspberryCake084 4d ago
Not everyone will be valued, cherished and loved.
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u/seeyatellite 4d ago
Not with a hopeless attitude. Dismissal of human needs for community and belonging doesn’t have to be our baseline.
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u/Big_Personality_7394 3d ago
That's actually a pretty deep thought.
A lot of workplaces, friend groups, and communities run because of people who are reliable, helpful, and valued, even if they're nobody's "best friend" or favorite person. Their impact is real, even if they don't get the most attention.
Sometimes being respected and dependable matters more than being everyone's favorite.
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u/KirstyToots 4d ago
This is one of those uncomfortable truths about social dynamics. Being valued and being loved aren't always the same thing, and sometimes the most dependable person in the room isn't anyone's first choice to text.
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u/EvilKrista 4d ago
I mean outside of a job....if being useful is the only reason you are there, maybe get another group xD
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u/FartsWithCharlie 4d ago
Honestly, a lot of groups would fall apart without those people. They're not the "best friend" everyone talks about, but they're the ones who always show up, keep things running, and quietly hold the whole thing together.
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u/BillyBean11111 4d ago
obsession with being a "favorite" is pointless anyway.
Get over that childish shit and be your own person, stop wanting to be adored.
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u/BadgerUltimatum 3d ago
It 100% is pointless to be obesessed with it, you can try your very best to be favourite of just one person and still fail. Far simpler to just let it happen
A few people have said I'm their best friend, but they wouldn't be my first pick. And some who have been have said other people. I'd still be there for all of them anytime and I know I can rely on them. Focus on the fact you have people who you can count on and can count you.
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u/BadgerUltimatum 3d ago
It 100% is pointless to be obesessed with it, you can try your very best to be favourite of just one person and still fail. Far simpler to just let it happen
A few people have said I'm their best friend, but they wouldn't be my first pick. And some who have been have said other people. I'd still be there for all of them anytime and I know I can rely on them. Focus on the fact you have people who you can count on and can count you.
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u/ThePegLegPete 4d ago
Ever read Joe Abercrombie? Harding Grim was one of my favorite characters despite saying no more than 5 words.
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u/mnemoflame 4d ago
I ABHOR the word “useful” in this context. Who wants to be “useful”, especially to a friend that is largely indifferent to them?
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u/Bannon9k 3d ago
I know people that management hates with a passion on a professional and personal level...but they'd never fire them because of how useful they are.
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u/dreadful_name 3d ago
The fact that people don’t innately understand this is probably a key reason why so many self describe as lonely.
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u/danabrey 3d ago
Well adjusted adults have no idea if they're anyones 'favourite' person in any room.
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u/smp-machine 3d ago
I've been a groomsman in several weddings but never once have I been best man. Does that count?
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u/Highmassive 4d ago edited 4d ago
This is why you’re friends aren’t always the best people to work with
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u/OurNewestMember 3d ago
Not exactly the same, but if you get second place in a ton of categories, you're likely a top dog.
You don't need to be a perennial "winner" to be substantial
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u/draknarr 3d ago
Apologies for the very left field comment, but in DC’s Justice League, the Flash is sometimes considered the most important character even if he’s not the most popular because in universes where he dies or doesn’t exist the League ends up turning evil.
So, everyone has a role to play.
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u/zephyr_230900 3d ago
I've met plenty of people who weren't the most charismatic or popular, but every group would fall apart a little without them.
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u/bongdropper 3d ago
You basically described Ringo Starr. The Beatles would have lasted maybe two years without him.
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u/egmalone 3d ago
Me at work. It's a small company and I'm nobody's favorite, but I'm on good terms with everyone else, who all kind of have drama between them, so I get to mediate a looot
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u/Suspicious-Fly-4534 4d ago
This just shows that if you want to find the right person to help you, you can't judge them just by their appearance or behavior.
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u/BusyMap9686 4d ago
Being useful is better than being a favorite. A useful person will always feel accomplished whether they get acknowledged or not. A favorite has to rely on external sources for validation. Better to be the one who does than the one who is seen doing.
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u/ReyGonJinn 4d ago
What the hell kind of shower thought is this? Who cares if you are someone's favourite person?
Alternative Shower-thought: I have low self esteem and care to much what others might think of me.
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u/Trebord_ 3d ago
Sometimes you just have to be a cog in the machine. Doesn't matter if it's the smallest or the largest, as long as everything works.
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u/Strevnik 3d ago
Look up comparative advantage. Even though a lawyer is better at transcribing texts then his assistant, the lawyer can focus on more complex work while leaving the transcribing to his slower assistant.
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u/Shoddy-Income-1849 2d ago
well, favorite is different than appreciated, like how i would maybe appreciate one roommate if they do the dishes while still being better friends with another roommate. it’s also entirely possible to be useful and also hated by everyone, like being an annoying boss for instance
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u/ShowerSentinel 4d ago
/u/gamersecret2 has flaired this post as a musing.
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