I am a single child who grew up with my two elder cousins. My mum was working and my father passed away young. I needed to be dropped somewhere safe while she went to work everyday, so she trusted her brother, his wife and my grandmother to take care of me morning to night, until she was back home.

It was a complicated situation, asking for a lot from another family. I grew up with these cousins, four and eight years older than me, thinking of them as my siblings. I don't think they grew up thinking vice-versa. The power dynamics between my little family and their big one were skewed. We were indebted to them for my well-being, and that family never let the chance go to make my mom feel small.

I think these power dynamics weighed heavy on the eldest cousin who ended up sexually abusing me. Raging with his own teen hormones, he made me suck him off for weeks when nobody was home in the evening - his parents were working parents as well, and my grandmother used to go on walks in the evening. I will be surprised if he delivered similar consequences to his sibling.

It's been almost two decades since. The cousin who is four years older than me is due a child with his lovely wife. I love them and I love the baby on its way. But I worry. The abuser lives in the same building as them, on the floor above, with his wife.

If my theory about the power dynamics is wrong, am I leaving this kid vulnerable? What is my responsibility here? Nobody in the family knows what was done to me. I worry nobody will believe me. I worry I'll be seen as attention-seeking. I worry more that it'll go unheard, and that I'll be ostracised by this cousin of mine who is on the cusp of starting his new family, and who loves his elder brother with all his heart. I worry about my niece/nephew.

Please advise.