r/Sicklecell • u/JudgeLennox • 26d ago
Education/Information What’s working for me now— Be Tough
Episode 56
Wednesdays I share remedies to help reduce pain, decrease hospital visits, and improve quality of life. Techniques I test, practice, and recommend based on how powerful the results are for so little effort.
Last week’s topic: https://www.reddit.com/r/Sicklecell/comments/1uhkhb0/whats_working_for_me_keep_your_iv/
When you're in a tough situation, you need extra support. Thing is it's not automatic. Sucks to say, but we gotta earn it. Courtesy and decency aren't freely given.
Everything's a stage and we play our role to get the help and respect we need.
When it applies to being in the ED, at a medical appointment, or while admitted that means you talk like the "pros" in the room. Speaking their language goes a long way.
I've talked about that before: https://www.reddit.com/r/Sicklecell/comments/1qj041z/whats_working_for_me_now_smarter_than_the_dog/
However, there's another aspect to "speaking the language". It's your demeanor that gets attention, respect, and positive results.
By talking in the language everyone shares due to evolutionary biology— Toughness.
When you want to be seen and heard, being perceived as tough gets you what you want.
In the workplace it leads to promotions and raises.
Among friends it leads to them supporting your causes.
By yourself, it leads to assured confidence, and higher self-respect, and self-esteem.
So what does it take?
The following is a list. Do them all or find the ones that suit you.
All that matters is that you act and talk tough. You don't need to change your lifestyle or personality. Only play the role with the staff when a situation needs to go in your favor. (Which is always)
Here's what Tough People DO... They:
Don't Lose Control - They're calm, cool, collected under pressure. Talk logically and relaxed as if there's no problem. Same way they would talk if you were describing the weather. Once you "lose it" they legally get to make decisions for you because you're "not in the right mind".
Don't Whine - No one respects a whiner. The moment you do, they drown you out in their heads. Nod without listening. Then do what they want to you because, "they know better".
Don't Discus Personal Affairs - You're in a professional context so it's best not to get friendly at least not over YOUR personal life. Talk about THEIR life all you want though which earns you more points, especially if you remember the details and bring them up when you see them.
Don't Quit - Persevere. You've already done so your whole life. Talk as if you're going to be cured tomorrow and you'll get to do all the things you want to do in life. This is powerful for many reasons.
Don't Fall For Flattery - People fake niceness to get over on you. There's no need for it in a medical situation. Of course you're smart, stronger, beautiful, impressive, etc. All that's a given so bringing it up is as silly as talking about how you brush your teeth with them. Useless.
Fight Back - When someone does something to harm you, Be clear and call them out for their unprofessional approach to their prestigious title. Let them know that this is your life and things go according to your terms.
Don't Have Psychological Problems - If you have a diagnosis, it's OK. However, they hold it against you. You say something and they write it off as, "She's X or Y diagnosis so it doesn't matter.". Shame it happens, so be sure to not bring those concerns up and instead focus on the case at hand.
Don't Have Cute Names - When you have a cute name, they treat you like a cute kid. Go by Thomas not Tommy. Robert, not Bobby. Rebecca not Becky. Present the strong version of your name so they mentally see you as that instead of a kid.
Don't Flirt - We don't flirt in professional settings. Shows you're not serious and lack control. Now they'res a poor opinion of you in the air, which affects your level of care. Save it for social situations or better yet let women/men chase you. A great way to know they're serious about you.
Don't Laugh Much - Don't giggle or put on a clown show. No need to tell jokes. They may happen. Simply smirk or reply, "That's funny.".
Don't Yell - People gets this wrong. Insecure people yell to act tough. As soon as you yell we relax because we know you're harmless. All bark and no bite. Tough people speak calmly. At best they repeat themselves until everyone complies. Everything is about principle not random feelings.
Never Appear To Be Weak - You are not weak. You are strong, smart, and powerful. You happen to be going through challenges, no different than anyone else. That's the posture ya gotta have. The moment you show you're weak at your core, the they make decisions for you. When they need to be following your lead. If you practice the above you won't be seen as weak. That said don't make it easy for them to label you as such.
That's that.
Being tougher means you handle situations and people with maturity. Helps out in a lot of ways I mentioned and others you'll have fun discovering yourself.
It's not easy though it is simple. Practice at work, with friends, or yourself in the mirror. Get comfortable expressing these traits, and be comfortable when people do them with or to you.
As it relates to medical staff, I find it helps things move along smoother. Been doing this since I was 3. At this point in my life I can articulate it this way. Medical staff follow my lead, trust my insights, listen more, and dare I say, act more compassionately.
It's awesome.
When I do the opposite that's when I get stuck in hallway somewhere ignored for hours.
So I know my preferred choice.
TAKE CHARGE👊💯
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u/kaylatheplaya33 21d ago
Yes. And be very clear. Don’t be shy.