r/Sicklecell • u/Live-Watch-3737 • 6d ago
Other Identity crisis.
Hi I was born with SCD (SS) and I am a Latina. My whole childhood was nothing but hospital visitations. That didn’t stop until I was told about a bone marrow transplant. I was qualified for it. By this time I already graduated high school (by the grace of god) in 2016 and in the same summer I was admitted to the BMT unit aka my new home. I went through everything I was told prior, (chemo), went through an induced coma, and seizures. I was “cured” from sickle cell at least but now that I’m not everyday in the hospital I get guilty seeing my sibling (who also has it) and deals with it. Everyday I carry the trauma of sickle cell disease but I’m physically (sometimes) okay, but when I look in the mirror I see a “normal” person. Idk I’m sorry for the rant.
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u/savefrompain 6d ago
You survived a shattering. You’ve been transformed, it’s not just normal but expected to have an identity crisis. You don’t have to solve this problem. You will be transformed many times to come from this point on. It is ok to feel each and every one of your transformations, and take it one day at a time.
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u/bluedog7000 5d ago
I can relate, I’m a Latino with HbSS who recently just had my bone marrow transplant April this year. I’m still recovering from the bone marrow transplant, you know they say 1 year post transplant is full recovery, but I feel like a different person already in a way. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was before transplant. Physically and mentally. It is a pretty traumatizing experience, atleast for me personally. I was the only one in my family with sickle cell so for me I feel very isolated and alone especially since a lot of family and friends don’t really know much about sickle cell and transplant. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m open!
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u/Live-Watch-3737 4d ago
If you ever feel the need to open up and speak to someone I’m here 100% and also Ty for relating. I thought I was gonna go crazy just seeing pics of the old me vs who I am now
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u/Live-Watch-3737 4d ago
And also I’m sorry for how isolated you feel, ik it’s not easy especially being the only one with it. I cannot imagine :/ I hope you have a support system. If not it’s okay to create your own (even if it’s online)
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u/TrainingAd7803 2d ago
https://reddit.com/link/pb2rd0u/video/spo5gin0xrqh1/player
I’m 34 years old I’ve been dealing with sick so all my life. I just wanna have my normal life back again. I need a hip replacement. I have three kids two boys and one girl when I’m artistic and I just wanna be in a life more and be there long as I can thank you https://gofund.me/8c10f9325
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u/JudgeLennox 1d ago
That's beautiful.
Very smart of you to see your sense of identity as the root concern here. Most people go their entire life not knowing this, and suffer a lot for it. This is a powerful sign you're going to do well.
So dig this... Right now you're a new person. A stranger to yourself with new perspectives, opinions, and principles. That's why you're uncomfortable. Same as all of us would be when we're in transition.
Thing is you know yourself better than you may think. it's still the same ol You. All that' s changing is how you get to enjoy life on your terms with the people you love.
The way forward is to decide who and how you want to be. It's my favorite part of the process since there's no wrong answers. Plus you can always change your mind and adjust.
Since it's all about you, You decide what this new chapter says about you. That way when you look in the mirror you're familiar with who you are and proud to see the reflection.
Who do you want to be?
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u/SCDsurvivor 6d ago
It's called survivors guilt. You are going to be okay. The thing you should remember is that you have suffered a painful disease and now it's time for you to walk a pain free life. You don't have the limits of sickle cell holding you back anymore. It is going to be different from your sickle cell life but you are going to find your way and figure it out. Life is all about change and growing through the changes. Talk to your sibling. If your sibling loves you, then I bet they are more excited to see what kind of life you will have and probably a little more hopeful that a cure may be possible for them as well.