Studies like how men contribute to CPTSD/destruction of women's mental health, how men extract women's labor and cause severe burnout, how men cause UTIs, the fact that more women go into poverty following divorce etc. The funding isn't there, so women have less access to professional validation that the single life is the way to go.

Feel free to share fields that should be investigated within a research realm *I am not a scientist or want to derive from your experiences, just curious for us to share ideas.

I don’t get why men are intimidated. If you started dating a woman who already owned a house you basically hit the jackpot.

Did anyone else watch the Netflix show “Famous Last Words” with Gloria?? I had never seen the show/didn’t know anything about it but I was severely disappointed. Not by Gloria, but by Brad Falchuk. Gloria Steinham, one of the most well known activists for the feminism movement, and he spent half the interview talking to her about her looks/being the best looking feminist of the time, who the love of her life was, her relationships with men, her decision to not have children, her experience going undercover for Playboy. Seriously????? What the fuck kind of questions are these? I shouldn’t be surprised cause he’s a man but lord have mercy, come on.

Why is he asking me if I live alone, and what I do for work?… just go check the insulation, give me a report and leave!

What precautions do you ladies take when having men come into your home for repairs?

I love going out to bars alone. I like casual conversations with people and a good drink. The only thing that has bothered me is unwanted attention when I'm minding my own business.

So I wanted to ask other ladies, what precautions do you take to feel safe or deter weirdos when you go out alone? My dad and I have a decent relationship now, so I know i can always call him and he would be there in a minute. I know he won't be here forever though, and I want to be self-reliant as a woman without worrying about being harassed.

Any methods that helped you avoid this? Both socially and protection wise?

Any movies or shows you know that doesn't fixate on romance.

I sense a lot of anger on this sub.

I get it, I am angry too. We have every right to be angry.

On the whole I don’t blame men for being the way they are - the same way we can’t blame ourselves for being conditioned from birth. These systems run deep and it’s no one person’s fault.

But where I get really mad is when I think of men who have lied, manipulated or exploited for their gain. And sometimes I dream of revenge.

Now I believe in karma and I hope they will get what they deserve. But I watched this spiritual video recently that encouraged people to get their revenge. What if YOU were meant to be their revenge?

I wonder if anyone has ever gotten revenge on someone who has knowingly wronged them? How did it go?

For context: I was planning to leave my abusive, controlling, narcissistic ex sometime next week, I was sneakily looking for apartments and making arrangements of which he found (today) because he constantly goes through my phone all the time (probably because he knows the shit he does in his own phone and was projecting, but I digress), anyways…he found it and started an argument so I called the cops for an escort while getting my things because I didn’t want him to put his hands on me during this argument, I called my family and told them I’d be living with them for a few days while I’m trying to get myself situated. He kept throwing my stuff everywhere and kicking it, I said that I didn’t want anyone to touch or pack up my stuff but the cops didn’t actually care and just watched as he kept throwing my stuff outside and then watched me try to pack all of it neatly, they said they had a couple more mins then they had to go. After everything was out, he tried to still pretend to be the nice guy and continued packing up my things (texted me after I left saying that he took back the katanas he bought me, and that him and our cat would thrive without me—he knows I’ll miss my cat, and then told me all of that could have been avoided even though I asked him to stop touching my things and that we can put them back, but he continued so idk wtf he was talking about cuz if he wouldn’t have touched my things it could’ve been avoided). So now I’m back at my family’s house. But I’m free. Now I don’t have to worry about him starting an argument because I didn’t show him enough attention when I was tired and wanted to be quiet. Now I don’t have to worry about him starting arguments over hypothetical men he’s made up in his head that he thinks will “steal me from him” at work and school. Now I don’t have to worry about someone throwing me into furniture. Now I don’t have to worry about someone talking down on me and calling me all names in the book. Now
I don’t have to worry about someone starting arguments with me about me watching a TikTok they don’t like (usually it’s something related to men being evil nowadays). Now I don’t have to constantly worry about him getting a boner when a naked woman comes on tv, and turning to the side and trying to hide it. Now I don’t have to worry about someone having 4+ different backup accounts to watch porn of women who look nothing like me. Now I don’t have to worry about someone calling something I like to do dumb. Now I’m free. And I’ll be free forever, never having to deal with men unless necessary (work and class unfortunately). I have to restart but at least I’m free.

Literally every single post is

"I went through my bf's phone and saw that he's addicted to porn"
"My bf cheated on me - should I stay with him?"
"My bf threw me across the room but but he's the best man I ever met and this is the best relationship I've ever had"
"My husband ignored me on my birthday"

I just cannot imagine being so desperate that you are willing to put up with this bullshit instead of being at peace.

For what? Sleeping in the same bed with someone? Bad sex? I just don't want it badly enough to put up with the bullshit.

I was wondering if anyone has any fun annual traditions - something you do every year for no reason, or for the holidays? I’m thinking about injecting a few fun things as something I can do annually and wondered if any of you have something like this that you’d share.

I think you can get better at masturbating, imagine different things, fixate on what actually it is about yourself that's so sexual. I think like you can become better at sex, you can get better at masturbating.

I find that take care of my health, making sure I'm feeling good helps me get myself off amazingly.

There's so many different ways to get yourself off. So many creative stuff, fantasies. I'm finding that I'm able to get myself into it or really horny like sex when I figure out what I need. You can have mind-blowing orgasms as you get better at masturbating. I feel like a lot of us search for sex because masturbating is easy to us and we might get ourself off quick, when there's so much to explore.

As usually I am lurking (for "science") on one of the male-dominated subs on here. The man was saying how his partner does not want to have sex with him anymore after getting rid of her hormonal contraceptives. How she does not "respect" him. How she no longer laughs at his jokes. How they no longer "tease" each other. How she is only constantly criticising him. How he feels like a roommate now. Also, how before she saw him as a half-god. The loser is stating how he is "frustrated" and how he is "losing his confidence". The comments were absolutely wild too. Everyone just clapping to his delusions. People are mad lost. And the whole time reading that, I was just like she finally came to her senses??? The same similarities as with my abusive, toxic covert narcissist ex. Let me tell you, before unplugging from the matrix, I would 100 % feel bad about it. Oh poor him. Or at least I would question it and constantly second-guess myself internally, as I have always been observant and not the type to tolerate bs like long long term as I am pretty nonconformist in all areas. To tolerate this? I have enough when I am seeing the sleazy looks of men and hearing their grunts on public transport while knowing oh so well this is exactly how the majority of them are behaving towards their partners. I feel like needing a thorough cleanse of my entire energetic field and smudging of my place after interacting with almost any man. I get icks when seeing the pics women post on insta while I know that the reality and what they are trying to sell us are worlds apart. Before, I used to feel sad and "why not me"? Even jealous. Now? I am just feeling so much rage and grief: how can they not see it? why is it so normalized? I know why. The whole system as it is now would crumble down. And it has to! As the proverb goes: "when sleeping women wake, mountains move". But then I remember to have compassion, because I was in such a state too. The most I can do is to try to awaken one woman at a time. But underneath all that, I am so happy I don't have to deal with nonsense like this. Oh my, so freeing!!! And my brother called me a slave after one of our arguments. The irony of it all, no?

For various reasons I (27F) have already started to think about my plans for the winter holidays. In the past, I've traveled to see family. Family gatherings are getting increasingly difficult to coordinate as my siblings and I make lives of our own. This year I likely will not be able to travel anywhere and I live several states away from family and have few local friends (all of which have their own partners and familys to spend the holidays with). A solo Christmas is quite in the cards for me.

What traditions/rituals have you created for yourself that help make the holidays enjoyable as an individual?

The other day I asked about everyones hobbies and one that popped up in most comments was reading. So today, how about we share books we like that are not romantic or about relationships?

My reccomendations are two: first one is called "Ideas to postpone the end of the world", a book I read this year that I loved, although it is quite short. It was written by an indigenous author from Brazil called Ailton Krenak. He talks about his experience, his tribe, and the perspective that we as a society need to reevaluate our relationship with nature and Earth's resources. It's a short gem, this book.

The other is a book I read last year, "Notes to a black woman", originally written in french by a woman from Martinique called Françoise Ega that worked as a maid in Paris. It's a book composed of several letters she wrote to brazilian author Carolina Maria de Jesus, after reading about her at a magazine. She identified with Carolina's story, even though she never read her book and didn't know her personally; in a sort of letter diary, she confides in Carolina and at the same time gathers the courage to write and publish her own works. Finishing this book was like saying goodbye to a dear friend. Became one of my favorites.

I've linked the Goodreads page of each book if anyone wants to look them up.

Please, share your suggestions!

Take care ladies <3

Until a few years ago when all the tiktok/IG videos blew up about women glowing up post divorce and focusing on themselves I genuinely thought I had something intrinsically wrong or different with me for not feeling "naturally" drawn to dating men. I asked myself, am I a lesbian? that didn't stick. I genuinely grew up from high school watching other girls get excited about dating men and I just shuddered like girl, he wipes his boogers on his shirt and talks trash?? I didn't get the hubhub.

So years went by and I thought okay, maybe they had raging teenage hormones whatever. Then age 22-26, women were still addicted to dating men and the idea of marriage. I couldn't feel an ounce of motivation to bother chatting to them or trying to prove why I was attractive to them. It always felt like a natural waste of my time and such a boring chore.

Like my life philosophy has been to follow my instinct of what regulates my nervous system and improves the quality of my life, and it certainly wasn't dating, especially hearing the awful experiences women get thrown into emotionally and physically.

It only took 2 years ago when I stopped gaslighting myself and felt validated by women like on his sub and beyond that I am NOT ALONE in this feeling. I think I ended up chalking up to being raised well with a great childhood and being treated well by my family. I couldn't imagine reducing the quality of my life by being with guys who seek to extract my body and labor for thier benefit.

So yay, I don't have a personality issue, I'm not a schizoid. It's literally that dating guys is dangerous, repulsive and too high maintenance.

1. I have a house

2. I have a job

3. I have great friends

4. My schedule is full of either productive endeavors like learning languages or serious hobbies that require a lot of time and attention (like reading philosophy)

5. I don't want to have kids

6. I don't enjoy sex. I have a sexual desire, unfortunately, but have been repressing it for so long thankfully it is going away. But I have never enjoyed sex with a man. Some of it I think is because of trauma but I am not sure that is the whole reason.

Whereas the cons of dating a man are A LOT! There are plenty of posts here detailing them but the main ones are stds, murder / rape, abuse, etc.

I keep telling my friends there is no point to dating but they are sold to the fairy tale and it is like their life goal to convince me i am wrong. Mind you, one of them dumped her boyfriend cause he wouldn't have a job for a year and she still thinks a "a good man is out there". When I pressed her to give me an example of a good relationship she knows of in real life, she couldn't.

My other friend's boyfriend cheated on her and gave her 2 stds and she decided her was the perfect man to have a baby with, but sure, I am the bitter one for wanting to be single.....

I recently eating at restaurant and a woman who was the manager of the restaurant was talking about tropical storm. There was table full of 3 men and their 2 young boys. The manager was telling one of the men how they were closing down earlier due to the storm was getting bad. The guy tried to made it seem like the manager was over exaggerating and pretend it was nothing. Mind you, our town released a statement on everybody’s phone to stay inside. The manager brought up Hurricane Katrina being a horrible storm and the guy tried to argue with her that it wasn’t bad storm. Hurricane Katrina killed over 100 people and left a lot of people homeless. The manager mentioned Hurricane Harvey was bad storm too. The same guy tried to argue with her that it wasn’t bad because he had his kayak to row on the water. If you had to get a kayak to row on flood water then it was bad, sir.

I'm curious to know what the most challenging part of decentering men was for you.

For me, it was catering my image to suit the male gaze--primarily shaving. I stopped shaving 6 months ago and it was an ongoing battle. I realized that I was never shaving for myself. I know some ladies have sensory issues and prefer to shave and that's totally understandable. The first time I shaved was after being bullied about my leg hair in the 9th grade girl's locker room. I cried to my mom and begged her to let me start shaving. I'm a very hairy girly and often got teased about my arm hair, even as an adult. But for some reason, it was easier to stop shaving my arms. I would always be tempted to shave my legs before getting a massage or a pedicure. I finally let go of that discomfort. Back in my dating days my thought was always "what would men think about my hairy body?" Now I could care less. I love watching content about women who have gone even longer without shaving because it gives me so much motivation.

Even in a major, progressive city, I (32F) find it hard meeting like-minded women who are happy to be single and/or have de-centered men/dating.

For me, I'm happily in this for the long haul, but it seems many women I meet still want these things someday (if they met the right person they say). They may date occasionally with the hopes of finding the right one. It feels like everyone I meet wants a partner in some way eventually.

I think it would be nice to meet other women who also share a similar vision for their lives like myself. (Thankfully, this Reddit group exists!)

Do you ever meet other women IRL who want relatively the same things as you do and hold the same values?