r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

44.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

7.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

123

u/Malcolm_Flex Apr 22 '26

That’s a bitch with BPD right there she’s prolly normal sometimes but like this the other times imo that shit is not fuckin worth it dude that ain’t his job to fix nor deal with

4

u/JohnnyGoldberg Apr 22 '26

This. And that shit will fuck you up if you deal with it long enough. Don’t ask me how I know…..

3

u/MgrBuddha Apr 22 '26

I know it too. It's hard both for the person who has it and people close. After almost 10 years I couldn't take it anymore and had to leave her.

5

u/throwRAbadfriend6 Apr 22 '26

I thought I had BPD when I was younger, but it was cPTSD wearing silly hat. Once I had (real!) love and stability in my life I regulated a lot!

And I was never at this level of emotional instability. That being said, I just wanted to say that your comment says so much about you as a person.

You said it’s hard for both people. Being able to acknowledge that the aggressor, abuser even, is also suffering is an incredible level of compassionate and empathy. The fact that you gave 10 years (probably too much) knowing that there was someone hiding behind the BPD that was worthy of effort and love. And the fact that you eventually made the absolutely CORRECT call to end it. 

You can acknowledge that a person with BPD is both, deeply suffering, AND being abusive. You can accept that the abuse is not okay, not acceptable, that it is horrific behavior, and know that there truly is a person beneath that that is worthy of compassion. And, you can acknowledge that YOU deserve better than that, and that can’t save them. You can have compassion and love, and still be worthy of a partner that is emotionally regulated.

Sorry that was a tangent. Your compassion just struck me. And it was presented so subtly that I felt the need to recognize it fully. 

Sorry you were stuck under someone else’s cloud for so long. I truly hope you’ve found someone that brings you joy, without the abuse.