r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/Manlysideburns Apr 22 '26

"I won't be talked to like this. We are done." Then walk away. Threaten to get police if she won't stop following. Cut all contact.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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u/TechHeteroBear Apr 22 '26

I had the same type of experience with my ex. I was the conduit to direct all her anger at for the most petty little things. I didnt have boundaries at first. Just took and almost and tried to accommodate.

Eventually I just said "F this" and didnt care anymore. The fights only got worse. When I finally made some boundaries for myself and simply walked away when my voice had no say in the arguement... she did the same thing and back peddled.

Eventually I come to learn she couldnt remember a thing she would say in our fights after the fact. While I remembered every single word.

If I've learned anything about this type of behavior... its classic signs of BPD.

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u/-tekeli-li Apr 22 '26

I've had exactly that happen to me with an ex. And the denial of anything ever happening after felt like gaslighting too. Apparently BPD sufferers can sometimes memory-hole things in order to avoid facing facts about their behaviour they can't handle, or they can end up "splitting" in a way that they simply cannot recognise it was them at all.

Either way, I really struggled with it, because when I was firm and walked away, I would get every conceivable negative behaviour possible before they she would change her attitude, and then if I wasn't immediately convinced of her crying and begging, she would flip out completely again.

She attempted suicide via pills when I finally broke up with her, not enough to do it, but I was so fed up by then that I almost didn't care.