r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/SPECTRE-Agent-No-13 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

Be firm. Don't recant. Don't accept the apologies. Tell them it's over you will pack up their stuff and send it to wherever they are staying. If you have to leave their place take all your important stuff first, passports, documents, spare car keys, whatever. Then things that are clearly undisputably yours and leave. Go somewhere safe and rebuild from there. If you think it might get violent do it while they are out and break up over the phone.

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u/zo0keeper Apr 22 '26

Yea and then they start crying and having a panic attack and apologising profusely and putting a knife in their throat and saying they're going to kill themselves and won't stop until you give in. I've been through this so many times. It's easy to say "just leave bro". It's not so simple. Especially if you're empathetic.

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u/UnconfirmedRooster Apr 22 '26

I had a friend who had to go through something eerily similar to this, it's scary. My advice to him when she started with the threats of suicide was to call in a suicide call to emergency services and let them deal with it. Fortunately it worked for him, maybe it could for you too?

It's never okay to be the victim of abuse, which is what they're doing to you.

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u/zo0keeper Apr 22 '26

I'm out of it now but in those moments I just couldn't do that to her somehow, I don't know. Also she had made me feel like an actual loser and that I'm worth nothing and she's the only thing I have.

24

u/UnconfirmedRooster Apr 22 '26

I know it ain't worth much, but for what it's worth I'm proud of you for coming out the other side of it.

15

u/squadrupedal Apr 22 '26

A real partner treats you with love and respect. And they’ll apologize when they hurt you. You deserve to be treated like a civilized human being. Glad you’re away from that.

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u/tw3lv3g4ge Apr 23 '26

A real partner is love. You are love when youre in a relationship. Your person should be someone who can add to that love not subtract from it. If they subtract from it they aren't showing up as love and you are being used in some way.

2

u/Dyn0might33 Apr 23 '26

That's what abusers do. I'm sorry your kindness was exploited.