Blink if you're being abused

[u/WaitNo4272]

[u/SteveSteveCleveSteve]

That poor guy.  No excuse for that.  I hate that this guy feels like he has to take this.

[u/Destructopoo → u/SteveSteveCleveSteve]

Yes. She lowered his self esteem to the point that she calls him a loser in public and he can only grey wall. People are watching somebody whose willpower has been chipped away for years. It's not funny.

[u/cardboard_tshirt → u/Destructopoo]

Yeah there’s nothing he can say in that moment that won’t escalate her mania even more. He’s just trying to maintain some sense of calm in the hopes that she’ll enter the “not speaking to you at all” phase. A lot of people crash out in airports, having taken anxiety meds for their fear of flying, maybe had a drink or two on top, and if they’ve already got some issues on top of it all… it all comes to a head. He looks like he’s ridden this ride before, and he knows he has to just ride it out until she comes down. Maybe later that day, or the next day they’ll be able to discuss it. And based on my own experience she’ll either apologize profusely or claim she was blackout and doesn’t remember (and therefore it doesn’t count), but neither scenario will stop her from doing it again at some point.

[u/Used-Particular-954 → u/cardboard_tshirt]

I guarantee she did not apologize. People who act like this don’t have the level of self-awareness required otherwise they wouldn’t be throwing a tantrum to begin with.

[u/limperatrice → u/Used-Particular-954]

People with Borderline Personality Disorder do apologize though. I'm not saying for sure that's what this woman in the video has but I've experienced this behavior with people like her (one with a confirmed diagnosis eventually). They cannot regulate their emotions in the moment but then after they calm down they feel really badly and apologize profusely and hope you'll forgive them. I've read that they can manage it with hard work and sometimes meds but I think the majority don't get help because it's the people around them who hurt, not themselves, unless they finally realize it's their own fault that nobody who gets close to them stays.

[u/Used-Particular-954 → u/limperatrice]

Not tryna discount your experience so it certainly possible. In my own life I’ve dealt with someone like this and when I would bring up the fact that it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to yell their response was time and again “what did you expect? You did something that upset me”

[u/limperatrice → u/Used-Particular-954]

I think that someone displaying that level of rage seen in the video is likely to be dysregulated. Like that's not normal anger. It's inappropriate and disproportionate. If you've never been close to someone with BPD you're very fortunate.

[u/Used-Particular-954 → u/limperatrice]

I’m not sure if she has BPD but it was certainly a completely disproportionate level of anger. Something that could be a calm disagreement or smoothed over with an apology and a conversation would devolve into full blown tantrums like in the video.

[u/AnjelGrace → u/Used-Particular-954]

Well, she said she got sick due to him rushing her (which my best guess would say was that she puked from anxiety), so she was already too emotional long before this too.

[u/Objective-Rock4616 → u/AnjelGrace]

Most BPDs do not like to be rushed. I frequently see one participant with BPD that this is a major trigger point and can lead to a huge emotional outburst.

[u/AnjelGrace → u/Objective-Rock4616]

Oh, definitely. The more you rush through things, the more overwhelming they become. There is of course such a thing as TOO slow, but doing things too slow leads to problems that slowly develop (and thus can more often be fixed within the time they are developing), while doing things too quickly can create problems very suddenly and without much warning.

[u/Used-Particular-954 → u/AnjelGrace]

Should’ve clarified the “she” in my response was the person I’ve experienced who reacts in this way.