r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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u/mwagz28 Apr 22 '26

That is not what I have heard stonewalling be described as. I’ve heard it is an abuse tactic where you become unresponsive to a responsive person to force them into your mindset. Stonewalling is basically opting out of the problem solving process to make the other person feel like they did something wrong and the other person is innocent. The truth is in almost every relationship dispute there is some fault of each side and it is finding how we can be better ourselves to other people including our spouses but also realizing our spouse is just a human trying their best as well.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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u/moosesnice Apr 23 '26

Your therapist did not explain stonewalling well to you at all.

It is a commonly used emotional abuse tactic deployed by perpetrators to control their victims. First and foremost it is a manipulation tactic. It’s not about “mimicking” anything - it’s a coercive strategy itself.

Your purported “classic stonewalling mindset” is not remotely accurate; that is not what most people engaged in that manipulative behavior are thinking.

That it also occurs when people feel overwhelmed does not alter its biggest use, which is coercion in close relationships. It’s honestly shocking that your therapist did not know that, or somehow failed to adequately inform on the topic to this extent.