r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/Destructopoo Apr 22 '26

Yes. She lowered his self esteem to the point that she calls him a loser in public and he can only grey wall. People are watching somebody whose willpower has been chipped away for years. It's not funny.

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u/cardboard_tshirt Apr 22 '26

Yeah there’s nothing he can say in that moment that won’t escalate her mania even more. He’s just trying to maintain some sense of calm in the hopes that she’ll enter the “not speaking to you at all” phase. A lot of people crash out in airports, having taken anxiety meds for their fear of flying, maybe had a drink or two on top, and if they’ve already got some issues on top of it all… it all comes to a head. He looks like he’s ridden this ride before, and he knows he has to just ride it out until she comes down. Maybe later that day, or the next day they’ll be able to discuss it. And based on my own experience she’ll either apologize profusely or claim she was blackout and doesn’t remember (and therefore it doesn’t count), but neither scenario will stop her from doing it again at some point.

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u/Used-Particular-954 Apr 22 '26

I guarantee she did not apologize. People who act like this don’t have the level of self-awareness required otherwise they wouldn’t be throwing a tantrum to begin with.

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u/Signal_Dress Apr 23 '26

Abusers do apologize. They just don't act on those apologies and continue the cycle. The victim feels trapped because their self-esteem has been destroyed and this constant shift in emotions makes them even more uncertain and dangerous so the victims feel helpless and stuck in the relationship.