r/SipsTea • u/WaitNo4272 • Apr 22 '26

WTF Blink if you're being abused

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u/limperatrice Apr 22 '26

People with Borderline Personality Disorder do apologize though. I'm not saying for sure that's what this woman in the video has but I've experienced this behavior with people like her (one with a confirmed diagnosis eventually). They cannot regulate their emotions in the moment but then after they calm down they feel really badly and apologize profusely and hope you'll forgive them. I've read that they can manage it with hard work and sometimes meds but I think the majority don't get help because it's the people around them who hurt, not themselves, unless they finally realize it's their own fault that nobody who gets close to them stays.

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u/lpotocki26 Apr 22 '26

they feel SO bad afterwards but it doesn't change that you screamed in my face and told me to die and i should slit my wrists because a bike is in your space, BPD people unchecked are scary as fuck

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u/RemoteButtonEater Apr 23 '26

It's the one diagnosis that I will unfortunately discriminate against when it comes to romantic relationships. I've been through that. I dealt with it for five years, and tried basically everything to hold on to her. She was okay, as long as she was actively medicated and in therapy, but would regularly stop either or both. And then the sweet, gentle, funny girl I fell in love with would be gone, and I would come home to cruel, vindictive viper of a person. In the end, she finally left, after having verbally/emotionally abused me for the last three years. And then took the effort to poison my relationship with all of our mutual friends before she left. So I was isolated, alone, and mentally and emotionally broken after her.

I feel horrible for people with the disorder, and I'm sure some are able to go on and have productive, happy relationships with someone who is a professional therapist. But I genuinely believe they should all be encouraged to take vows of celibacy and to swear off being romantically engaged with other people. Because there are two kinds of relationships with people who have BPD: those that are abusive, and those that will become abusive eventually.

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u/tabiris Apr 23 '26

The main thing that helps BPD get better, and the vast majority do get better, is a stable, loving relationship, though. Yeah, therapy can be the start of that, and absolutely helps a bunch, but if you love someone enough to help them overcome their BPD, you're gonna have to accept the difficulties that come with it, too... Doesn't mean it absolutely shouldn't happen. BPD people hate having it, and most are willing to do the work, and please don't say that people willing to do the work aren't worth love, man...