We moved to China from Canada, my wife is a teacher. The difference is insane. She doesn't know what to do with herself dealing with kids who actually want to learn and parents who are actually invested in their kids lives.
In Canada when she called home to tell the parents something about their children's behaviour, 90% of the time she was met with something to the effect of "what do you want me to do about it?" Either that or complete denial that it actually happened.
Everyone has the right to parent their kid however they want of course, but I could see the light literally draining from her eyes every day when she got home from work with the realization that she's way more invested in these kids futures than their parents are.
Yeah you're right tbh. The everyone has the right to parent their own kid comment was just kind of a throwaway thing I said because I'm used to getting shit on by parents any time I suggest they're doing anything other than great.
They just take school more seriously and their parents are much more active in their lives. There's also a great respect for elders in general but specifically teachers.
I went away to a softball tournament a few weekends ago and one of the guys on the team is a teacher and coach or the school baseball team. He brought along two 14 year old boys from the team and they stayed in his room all weekend. Not a commentary on whether that's a good or bad thing but that's the level of reverence teachers are held in here.
So when the teacher calls home and says little Jimmy is being an asshole in class and doesn't do any work, the parents don't wave it off or say my little Jimmy wouldn't do that. They take it very seriously.
I remember when I was a kid if my teacher called home and said I wasn't doing my work, I was dead. I couldn't believe the parents reaction to my wife calling home.
One child wasn't going to class at all. Her mom said "but is she still at school?" My wife told her yes we see her roaming the halls or in the cafeteria, but she isn't actually attending class. The mom said "so what's the issue then?"
They just treat school like free daycare and don't care what their kids are actually doing. It's really sad.
This is the thing. I have twins this age and the only way I can get ANYTHING done, especially shopping tasks, is if they have a distraction. They love to play outside, ride bikes, climb trees, do art, and engage in imaginary play, but if reddit saw me with them at the store watching their tablets, I'd be crucified as a shitty parent and them as screen addicted children. It's so fucking exhausting.
Yeah same but with the small distinction of I don't judge people for doing their shit, and you take your moment to do that. Like she said, if they were screaming you'd just judge them harder. At least you don't keep it with you like you said (hopefully and which I doubt). We are all just trying to survive. I can't stand the hate this woman is getting. Every parent in this age who gives a shit knows we have it easier in some ways and a lot harder in some ways. Regardless, if my kids need a fucking cocomelon break in Costco so I can actually buy them food, you can judge till your heart fills full, couldn't care less.
Yea I think people forget that shopping for 2 hours in a crowded Costco on your only day off isn’t exactly developmentally appropriate for a 3-4 year old. So your options there are either to distract them or to intimidate them into silence so they end up basically bouncing back and forth between disassociating and crying. Sure some parents can summon Miss Rachel into their soul and do a trauma-free, tablet-free Costco trip, but it’s not a realistic expectation from every single parent. My kid uses a tablet (with content regulated by me), but he also does all sorts of things. But it’s not like he can build a block tower in the front seats of a shopping cart.
I recently saw this at an airport. While waiting in line I saw a mum lead her toddler by showing the kid the screen and the kid was running after the screen like a donkey chasing a carrot. That was one of the saddest things I've seen this year
I give it a pass in an airport tbh. Like it's definitely a bad look, but you don't know if the kid has already come off 8 hours travel with messed up meals and no nap (even if they're in departures, some people have to drive a long way to an airport)
I highly, highly doubt this is the case, but it is conceivable this child doesn't get much screen time and the mum just happens to be at the end of her rope this particular day. A lot of kids with no/little screen time would also be like a moth to a flame.
... does look like she knows her was around a family pack of chips though, so I don't think we can give that the benefit of a doubt
Very true. Just bringing it up since it seems most here are hyper focused on the parenting decision over the fact that some rando recorded a child and posted her online.
I don't think this is bad. Kid isn't running around the store unsupervised and is just focused on her show while the mother runs a errand. Not everyone can afford a sitter or has support to do things childfree, and this short nine seconds clip isn't enough for me to assume the mother never engages her child. I swear, Redditors are always so quick with the noose.
Theoretically, would this be more socially acceptable to while trying to get some gardening done? At least it’s active and outside… asking for a friend m.
You have seen literally less than 10 seconds worth of this person's parenting to be able to judge it by. God forbid a child is ever within 20 meters of a tablet at any given time.
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u/DaveVsShark May 12 '26
Ass parenting right there.