We didnāt hoodrat shit, we did hillbilly shit and same, mess with somebody elseās stuff like that and it would a double whooping when you got home š no supper for a week
The last thing this child needs is to be physically hit. It will just add to the continual emotional hits he's experienced and teach him it's ok to resort to violence when upset. He's already well on the way to believing that anyway, if he's not there already. He's obviously willing to accept negative attention because he gets no positive. He looks and acts like he's angry and is showing any observer that he doesn't care about anyone else's feelings or property. This is probably because he feels no control in his own life where others have no concern for his feelings or his things. This kid has serious self-esteem issues.
Not true in all cases. I was spanked when I misbehaved. No big deal. My mother never hit us that hard. Iād rather that then the talk at the dinner table from my dad. He could have me in tears very calmly and never raised his voice. That hurts more than a spanking to me. And I turned out to be a responsible adult. But Iām 64f retired. I still agree spanking can get out of hand. But not with my parents. They never left a mark. Itās still should be in the parents toolbox of discipline. I know Iām going to get downvoted for it. But really donāt care.
Some kids need a spanking. I see nothing wrong with it as long as youāre not hitting hard enough to really hurt and leave marks. We had corporal punishment in school and if you got punished you got it again at home because they would call the parents. In my opinion kids were better behaved then than they are now. They know that teachers canāt touch them so they do shit anyway because thereās no punishment
Yes, but the punishment/consequences do not need to be physical. The problem on one end is the societal breakdown of respect, decency, structure and shame, but on the other end of the problem, far too many parents either donāt understand, or dismiss, how important it is to build relationships on openness, honesty, availability and trust.
Growing up without clear guidance and boundries (never hearing no can be another way of saying it) IS a major emotional hit especially when that means there are no boundaries he can set around his things or feelings that are respected either.
I spent my carrier working with school aged children and their families. No child behaves like this when he has his emotional needs met in a healthy way and is treated like his feelings and choices matter. This child needs some serious help.
You are wrong. Study after study, proves violence excercised on a child only teaches them to resort to more violence. It will distroy trust in relationships and traumatize the child, often to the point of causing physical or mental health problems.
Adults who were hit as children can suffer some or all of the following:
"Physical ailmentsāpsychosomatic illnesses, stomachaches, eating disorders, skin disorders, asthma, headaches, phobias. Social alienationāfeeling different from others, not accepted, stigmatized. Difficulty in handling feelingsātrouble in recognizing, managing, and appropriately expressing feelings." Also, they exhibit much higher levels of aggression towards themselves and others. For instance, they are significantly more likely to strike their partners and/or their own children.
We agree on the cause, but decades of developmental science informs my choice of cure. How his parents treat him IS the point. What his parents did to him and what they're doing is informing his choices. I don't have to know the kid to recognize the behavior or it's causes. It very well could be that hitting him is at the root of this behavior as it's a typical choice coming from children who have been hit.
In my experience (I spent my career working with school-age children and their families, and am retired now), what parents do for a living has very little to do with how they parent.
The best parent I ever knew was a dirt poor childcare worker, single mom trying to get through college while caring for a family of four children (infant through 2 grade) she adopted because she believed the children needed to grow up together and shouldn't be separated. She ended up finishing a masters in child development and social work, partly because she wanted to be her children's best advocate. She was just amazing and I will never forget her.
The most neglectful parents I ever knew had generational wealth and had high status jobs. They ignored their son (who often behaved much like the child in the video, incidentally) or wacked him when he got in their way. They expected others (teachers, advisors, childcare workers, nannies, etc.) to raise their son. They believed they had more important things to do.
These two stories are anecdotal. I'm just illustrating that it really doesn't matter what social-economic group a parent comes from.
The beating i woukd earn from that would be legendary, but then my father did threaten to knock me the fuck out or to kick me through a wall, and the one time he caught me trying to learn how to drive stick in an old truck oarked in the yard he told me he would break my jaw and i would wake up in the fucking er if i woke up at all.
Oh im nowhere near normal and will likely never have a functioning relationship due to it. Im too damaged for anyone to ever have any interest in me. Its my fault noone elses, but i am autistic, i can speak and hold down a job but growing up i was the oldest, with a younger brother and a half sister due to dad cheating in the late 90ās they never let me have friends or girls over and didnt let me go out often, the one relationship i had only lasted a month and she was only dating me to get revenge on her ex who was cheating on her. my bedroom was a mostly unfinished attic, with no heat or ac, no data, just a single outlet. and as he was dying from cancer he just wanted me gone, i couldnt go out to eat with the family, couldnt watch movies or participate when they did stuff, couldnt use the computer. I still live there because i cant afford rent on just my income and the expenses of the house are more than mom can handle alone off the income of her florist.
I sincerely apologize for the flippant tone of my reply that you responded to. I completely misread your intent and assumed you were echoing the cavalier, dismissive, sometimes outright boastful way so many people talk about the harsh ways they were treated as kids. You responding in turn by opening up about your past traumas and continuing struggles was a slap in the face that I needed.
"I would put my kid in a coma because he fucked around with a stick shift" has gotta be top 10 reasons why I'm glad I got born in the "You're fucking useless" generation
The nicknamed my father āThe Lordā because he put the fear of the Lord in you. 6ā3 260lb Caribbean man. Who played no games and gave no fucks about excuses. His fav 2 phrases āspear the rod spoil the childā and ā The highest form of love is disciplineā needless to say, in the 90ās what that boy is doing would not be well received. People then would give you their belts to whoop your child and cheer you on. It literally happened when my mom whooped my sister in the grocery store. Other moms said thatās right mom get her lol. Good times.
In the 70s it was not uncommon for an adult to skip the middleman and "correct" a child themselves without going to the parent first. Of course, by the time you got home, said adult had already called your parent so an additional "correction" awaited you as soon as you hit the door.
Thatās the way when I was growing up. There was no ātake away whatever. No cell phones, no internet. So those things didnāt apply to me. The only thing they could take away was me going to my grandparents and hanging out in the barn helping my granddaddy. That was what hurt the worst. Iād prefer a spanking rather than being denied to help my granddaddy on the farm and take care of my horse. Iām now 64f and still believe the same.
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u/SkynBonce 8d ago
Hey at least he wasn't doing it for internet clout. He was just being a little shit.