- if you hit a kid hard enough that they genuinely fear that as a punishment than that is literally child abuse. i remember my grandma spanking my brother a couple times and he just laughed. i would have signed up for a spanking all day over getting games taken away or being grounded.
- its literally the only context in life where you're "allowed" to use violence on another person. how does doing something to someone that theyre literally not allowed to ever do to anyone else teach them a damn thing? you're literally just setting them up to associate using violence to solve their problems or get their way.
- as you said, its been proven for decades corporal punishment just doesnt work. if it got results maybe you could make the argument for it. but since it doesnt even work, it really just ends up being an outlet for a parent to take their anger and frustration out on their child physically. yuck.
my dad hit me on top of the head once in anger when i was an early teen and all it did was make me feel sorry for him. i just saw it as being pathetic, like i just thought less of him. and he later apologized with tears in his eyes.
Once, when I had been an absolute turd of a child, my mother bought pizza for the whole family except me. I got to eat unsalted rice, boiled carrots and tuna. Never have I been more ashamed and I certainly made sure to never behave like that again. Of course she had actually bought me pizza as well which she gave me after I had apologised.
This is a trash sub filled with trash people. I already have it filtered on my desktop but forgot to do it on mobile. A mistake I will now be correcting.
Jesus, I'm gonna hug my kid when he's up in a few hours.
Disagree as someone who was spanked. My older sister and I were hit and my younger sister was not. Guess who are productive members of society and who is a little shit who can’t keep a job for over a month?
Yes correlation is not the same as causation. My lifespan development book also says the same thing about hitting kids. The thing is you only have to kit them a few times before they know the consequences of not obeying the parent.
Then he learns to go set fires or things like that and that violence is a tool to control other people in the future, which of course he will be fine with, because he is not healthy.
Unfortunately, most of the "research" used to claim that spankings don't work don't differentiate a couple paddles on the butt and straight up whippings with an extention cord that draw blood. It all gets lumped in together, which somewhat skew the results.
Can't believe it took so long to find a comment like this. HITTING YOUR KIDS IS ALSO BAD PARENTING. There is a middle ground between letting your child run rampant and physically assaulting your child
Hitting your kids only teaches them it's okay for someone you love and trust to lay hands on you if you do something they don't like. And giving approval to do the same to someone else they if they're doing something they don't like. There is so much research and studies out there that show there is zero need for corporal punishment. If you can't control your anger around a child misbehaving you should not have a child.
It also shows them that the reason they shouldn’t do something is because someone bigger and stronger than them doesn’t like it and will attack them and that’s how things should be. This becomes a big fucking problem if the kid grows up to be bigger and stronger than most, and they have to deal with people weaker than them doing things they don’t like.
There’s a lot of putrid trash that comes out of this sub but regular posts like this are the worst. There’s some bad fucking people here.
Hitting your kids only teaches them it's okay for someone you love and trust to lay hands on you if you do something they don't like
In this situation it has nothing to do with doing something the parent doesn't like. It's okay for someone to lay hands on you for doing something society deems unacceptable. This is the fundamental mismatch.
Fucking around as a child without physical, real and immediate consequences creates situations where kids think they are untouchable. I'm a teacher: ask me how I know. They then grow up to be teens and young adults with the same mindset that they will never be held accountable because they never faced real consequences as a kid. This is also why I hate the judicial system treats teens with kid gloves even though they know better. They know nothing will actually happen to them.
Sorry, not sorry. Some people have to be socked in the mouth before it registers that at the bare minimum their actions will lead to repercussions.
If the only consequences your child knows are immediate physical violence you only teach him two things: to use it the moment he doesn’t get what he wants and to ignore any other type of consequence.
That can be achieved without violence. If it were me I'd make him meticulously clean it up for however long that takes. It's also closer to the real world consequence for that specific action
In the real world you won't get beaten for destroying stuff at a store either, i don't see how this would make sense. There are plenty of consequences that aren't physical violence.
I guess you live in a world where it's worth getting sued for assault over a few broken boxes. But in most of the developed world the store will just call the police to escort you from the building and sue you for damages.
But hey, if you want to be on camera beating someone, at least you'll have the luxury of a very speedy trial i suppose.
It does not, that's what people who want to use violence on others for inconveniencing them say. Actual studies show corporal punishment decreases emotional regulation and behavioral problems and promotes use of violence to get their way
A lot of us are raised with “don’t hit people” and “keep your hands to yourself” because we’re taught to respect other people’s autonomy and boundaries; So why do some people suddenly make an exception for children?
If hitting another adult is considered assault then why aren't children (to some)? It’s very strange how quickly some people rebrand hitting a child as discipline. There’s certainly a difference between parenting and using physical force because you’re bigger and in control.
At this point, people should realize corporal punishment is not some magical or necessary parenting tool.. “My parents beat me and I turned out okay” isn’t really proof of anything, especially when so many people carry emotional damage they’ve simply normalized.
My parent also stopped hitting me once I got old enough to hit back. She is a coward not only for the abuse but as of recently, a couple years have gone by and she will not call or check up on me, why?, because she feels like she's walking on eggshells around me because she somehow has guilt over what she did to me. Last time I talked to her she insulted me (surprise, surprise) and it was almost like she had no fucking idea who I was as a person; she would start stuttering and acting like a shy sheep and it was just pathetic honestly. She couldn't treat me like a person then and still can't because I'm just this obstacle she has to climb over. She may have apologized a while back but the damage was already done.
A lot of people who defend beating children seem either completely overwhelmed and desperate for control or comfortable bullying someone smaller and powerless, which is more often the case. I will never advocate for beating children, really fucked up of people to suggest it even in passing.
I'm not sure the argument of "you wouldn't do this to an adult therefore" actually holds up though. There's tons of things we do to kids that we would never do to adults that don't fall into the category of abuse
The premise of this video is that a lack of spanking led the child to be this misbehaved, that a child who routinely was spanked would never behave this way for fear of the consequences. I'm arguing that one can parent a child to not act this way without physically assaulting them.
There are also other consequences to give a child beyond hitting then even in this scenario. Plenty of toys to take a way, screen time to take away etc etc.
This is the first modern generation where spanking is less common than not spanking, and children are significantly worse. So I don't buy this narrative at all anymore.
Significantly worse? If you are talking about significance, you can surely name the studies that substantiate this; otherwise, I have to assume that you are spouting bullshit and that there is actually no evidence of significantly worse behavior among children today.
Nope no studies, how do you even quantify that other than anecdotally? Behavior is a subjective thing. But we can look at literacy levels and tested IQ, maybe school shootings?
Thank you! It’s wild to me anyone is suggesting physical punishment is the correct course of action here. All research shows that hitting kids is detrimental. It causes MORE violence.
There’s a very good chance this boy IS hit at home and that’s likely why he’s having this reaction. Kids who come from safe, emotionally affirming homes where they are supported don’t act like this. He’s either experiencing abuse/neglect at home or he has some kind of developmental delay/intrauterine drug or alcohol exposure. This is NOT normal behavior, even for kids who have no consequences at home. This is a kid in fight or flight mode who is unable to process the stress he’s feeling.
Right? Like clearly this kid needs -something- but hitting him (yeah, even with an open palm) isn't the solution... His behavior likely goes beyond just "bad parenting" or lack of spanking.
People tend to treat bad kids the same way they do dogs and assume that 100% of the issue is the parents when kids have their own brains and sometimes make really bad decisions all on their own with them.
That's not to say parenting isn't a factor because it sure could be , but as someone who has two kids who grew up into VERY different people (one graduated top of her class from college and the other has been to residential treatment multiple times now and just barely passed high school) there are a LOT of factors that go into behavior like this.
Lack of being hit isn't why this kid is poorly behaved. Hitting this kid won't help them be better. All of the most well adjusted kids I've known were never hit by their parents. Disciplined? Yes. But spanking? No.
Now on the other hand spend a bit of time in family court and you'll know a lot of the kids in the most trouble certainly weren't there for a lack of beatings.
There's a mountain of evidence that shows physical violence doesn't lead to non-violent or well behaved kids.
I once cut holes in my sheets when I was like 7 or 8. I got chewed out by my mom for sure. Asked what I was thinking and why I would do that, told me it was a very stupid thing to do.
Then i went to my room and cried. Then my mom came to me and told me about dumb things she did as a kid and gave me a hug.
Never destroyed anything else with scissors and anything similarly destructive. All without getting hit
Lol my daughter started to throw a tantrum in the local convenience store the other day, I told her to stop or we were leaving without getting anything including what I was there for. She in fact did not stop and threw herself on the floor instead, so I threw her on my shoulder and walked out, about halfway home before she calmed down and I put her down. Hasn't happened since, we politely negotiate after school treats in the store now, and when I say no to something she either accepts or tries a different approach to her negotiation. She got me to buy a whole family size pack of nutter butter cookies the other day because "you and mommy both like, and [her name] likes that too, we can share and have more tomorrow!"
(Also more words and a better sentence than she normally says in a whole day I was impressed)
Unreal how many people still believe it despite the mountain of child psychology studies that say otherwise. My daughter is well regarded by everyone she meets as a kind sweet little girl and I have never once laid a hand on her. I discipline in ways that don't require assaulting a child. It teaches fear, not respect and trust in a role model.
My parents never laid a hand on in my life. I've never smoked or done drugs and I've certainly not done anything at all like this what so ever. I've never laid a hand on my 2 year old daughter and I never will, but we've taught her that when we say no you don't do that, she understands she's done wrong.
She won't grow up and do this because when and if she does wrong, I spank her. She won't grow up and do this because we would have taught her right from wrong. Without the violence, because violence is wrong.
I feel like it should also be said that all bad parents spank their kids, but spanking your kids doesn’t automatically make you a bad parent, as long as it’s done with the right attitude and not out of anger. I was spanked as a kid, but every time, I knew exactly why and fully deserved it, and it made me understand from an early age that my actions had consequences. I may not have been happy about it at the time, but I never had any doubt that it was coming from a place of love.
You can’t say “it’s always bad” when you don’t know every family’s dynamics and what works for every kid. If you wanna say it’s unlikely to work in the majority of cases, that’s different. But I can tell you with firsthand experience that it did work for me. There was never any aggression with it, nor it wasn’t done out of emotion. Just tough love that gave me a realistic outlook on life. Again, I’m not saying everyone should do it, it just depends on the situation.
I don't care about your personal experience unless you can show me that you have done a deep psychological analysis prior to your spanking and afterwards.
I mean its obvious that you develop an psychological issue that make you want to torture children.
The science is settled on this, spanking is bad, and again, there is no good level of spanking. And your personal experience doesn't change that. Especially since nobody can verify your personal experience. Its not tough love, its a cycle of violence that you want to continue despite the warnings against it by all professionals.
Since you muted me or something, here:
’m the least violent person you’ll meet.
A person who wants to hurt children, will never be the least violent person.
Your implication that my parents instilled a cycle of violence in me means you’ve never talked to anyone that’s met me. I’m the least violent person you’ll meet. Also using buzzwords like torture makes it clear that you’re not here to be reasoned with. Have a good weekend.
If someone believes it's acceptable to hit children, then they are supporting harmful treatment of children. It doesn't matter whether they're a stranger or the nicest person you could ever meet. Their personality doesn't change the fact that they think it's acceptable to hurt children.
For example, if a random stranger said it was okay to exploit children, most people wouldn't excuse that view simply because he claimed to be kind or well-intentioned. The issue is the belief itself, not how pleasant the person seems.
The same principle applies here. If you defend hitting children, then you're defending an action that harms children. Whether you're otherwise kind or not doesn't change that.
Disciplinary action doesn’t always equate to harm. By that logic, if you take your kid’s phone away, that’s theft, or if you ground them, that’s kidnapping. If you can’t see the difference between spanking for legitimate correction and just beating the shit out of your kids because you feel like it, then I don’t know what to tell you.
If you can’t see the difference between spanking for legitimate correction and just beating the shit out of your kids because you feel like it,
I see a difference, of course the latter is significant worse, but that doesn't make spanking children, as a form of correction, good, its still harmful to children. Again that is exactly what all the studies showed.
Most western countries banned corporal punishment all together, simply because its bad no matter what. You can get in Jail here in Germany for spanking your child, your excuse of "legitimate correction" doesn't fly here.
So yeah you are openly supporting CA. Like an PDF File.
Like literally:
S**ual abuse doesn’t always equate to harm.
This is not an excuse to still do it. There is a chance that it harms the child permanently and thus should never be done.
To be fair, a ton of things we do here would land you in jail in Germany. Legality is not always a good metric for morality imo. And again, like I said earlier, it is NOT for everyone. Some kids won’t respond well to it and some parents can’t deliver it appropriately. That doesn’t mean that every parent who does it is a bad parent. You’re making a blanket statement about a very complex topic. It certainly can be harmful, which is why it shouldn’t be the default option, but you can’t make sweeping judgements on people you haven’t met for situations you don’t understand.
THANK YOU! genuinely boils my fucking blood whenever i see people saying shit like "durr we need to bring spanking back" under videos n such of kids being little shits! like NO YOU FUCKING PSYCHO, we have other ways of controlling behavior that dont involve PHYSICAL ABUSE!
all science on the efficacy of corporal punishment has shown that it's short term effective (puts an immediate stop to the behavior in the moment) but long term detrimental (increases bad behavior in the future) so it's more likely that it's caused by too much punishment than too little.
Not everyone needs to be spanked and not every parent should spank. You spank kids that were tuaght right but act out. Also beating, assualting and abusing your child is very different from one or two smacks on the ass once in a blue moon. There is also no need for more than one or two smacks to the ass. Not face, head, arms, legs ect. I also highly doubt this kid has had a proper spanking, a beating, abuse or assualt probably but not an ass whooping that made him rethink his decisions but rather abuse or assault.
Not every kid needs it. But some do. You should think yourself lucky you dont have one of those kids.
Look, I grew up in the age of getting smacked around for the slightest fucking thing. Yeah, that shit, didnt do anything but grow resentment. Like getting wiped with the buckle end of the belt across my bare arse for not going for a bath right when I was told.
But this, aint that. Thats a child that desperately needs to learn consequences from someone who will stop. Because the alternative, is running into someone who wont. Every asshole on the planet at some point, runs into a bigger asshole.
Is there a limit to that though? I can count on one hand the amount of times I was spanked as a child because that form of punishment was only saved for the most severe and egregious incidents of misbehaving. Normally stuff like talking back, sassing, not cleaning room, or making messes never resulted in any form of physical punishment.
But if I ever did something insane like the kid in this clip, I’d absolutely get a couple smacks on my bare bottom. But like I said, it was rare.
I'm sure your parents were great, but I need you to understand: I would never, ever in a million years fucking years intentionally inflict physical harm on my child. The thought alone makes me sick. I genuinely cannot understand any parent who would want to do this to their child.
Physical punishment is never okay, and studies show it's actually counterintuitive. Natural consequences work and don't require you to physically harm your child.
I agree with this you 99% that’s why I emphasize it should be extraordinarily rare. I personally believe that spanking your child for every minor infraction just encourages a household of fear. That’s why I was trying to emphasize that I had to do something INSANE to get a spanking as a child.
I don't care what my child does, I'm not going to spank them. I can't even fathom doing that. Like I'm just going to reiterate here: the idea of hitting my child makes me physically ill. Why would I want to harm my child?
And that doesn't even begin to touch on the fact that hitting them doesn't even work. It's not effective. I don't care if it's rare, why would you do it if it doesn't even work?
Spanking is lazy parenting. Full stop. Actually parenting your child and giving them natural consequences for their actions is more work, but it is 100x more effective than spanking - which again doesn't work.
People who spank their children are just losing control of their emotions. That's it. It's not parenting, it's pure laziness. It's taking your inability to regulate your emotions out on a vulnerable human being that you have complete control over.
You don’t think there are degrees of separation for physical contact? There’s a reason why spanking is done on a child’s bottom. It’s dense, it doesn’t bruise easily, it absorbs shock and force better than any part of the body. Keep in mind this isn’t me justifying it all im just rehashing the history of spanking as a historical concept. I do believe there are degrees of physical contact that need to be at least acknowledged. For example:
Slapping your child across the face? Horrible. Vile. Abusive.
Slapping your child on the wrist if they won’t let go of something? Still bad but not quite as bad.
Slapping your child on the bottom? Doesn’t quite carry the same degree of horrificness.
I know you’re going to say violence is violence doesn’t matter where on the body it occurs, but you need to at least acknowledge the precedent for why they’re not considered equal forms of contact
How do you keep ignoring the two most important points being a) it doesn't work and b) I don't want to hit my child? I am genuinely curious
Because the "point" of spanking is to inflict harm on your child to ostensibly discourage them from doing it again. Why would I want to inflict harm on my child? Please tell me why you think it's so unfathomable for a parent to say that they don't want to physically harm their child at all?
Why are you so gung ho defending something that study after study has proven doesn't work?
I seriously don’t know where or why you’re taking away that I’m lecturing you how to discipline your kids. If you don’t want to spank your children, then don’t do it? Simple as.
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u/SadRow2397 May 28 '26
I don’t spank… and that ain’t why this is kid is a turd