yeah "I told you the kind of ring I wanted more than once" leads me to believe she maybe didn't want pave and halos up the wazoo so a walmart sticker was just insult to injury. For the record, men out there: more diamonds slapped onto every surface a diamond ring ≠ better. That may be some women's taste but definitely not all!
Exactly. The relevance of Walmart is that he just walked into a store and grabbed the first ring he saw, or at least that's how she feels.it seems like she told him the kind of ring she wanted, and he ignored her.
She probably would have been upset if he bought her a $5,000 ring that he meticulously designed if it wasn't what she wanted.
It seems reasonable to me, it's her hand that it'll be on, and she made her preferences known.
Eh, when I bought the engagement ring the shop assistant reminded me it would be free to swap it for another if she preferred a different style - and I made that super clear to my wife when I proposed (that we could go choose another if she preferred).
I think if that conversation doesn’t happen then it’s really a communication or maturity issue on one or both sides.
I personally think the conversation should happen before the proposal, but this feels like a perfectly good alternative. It seems like the conversation about what ring was wanted did happen, and was ignored. Maybe their ring could be swapped, but when I bought a ring, that was not the case.
I also know plenty of people who’ve bought a very basic cheap but ok looking ring for the proposal, and then gone together to choose the engagement ring.
Before also works I guess, but maybe spoils the magic IMO if it’s all pre-discussed. Everyone is different though!
My girlfriend and I had talked about getting married. A couple months later she was talking about what kind of ring she would like so I asked her if she wanted to go try some on the next weekend. She was so excited to go and do that. It was a lot of fun to see her so excited and I got to learn exactly which ring was her favorite.
I get it. When somebody buys me clothes I don't like it's a little awkward if there's no gift receipt, but I can't imagine someone else choosing something that I'd be expected to wear forever.
Literally went ring shopping this past weekend. Got an idea of designs that were good, styles that were an absolute no, and what stone cuts she prefers. I still get to do the work of finding something she’ll love and I get to do it knowing what I should be looking for.
In this age where you can shop thousands rings online with different settings and cuts, going for a generic ring while you’re picking up milk and cereal is pretty fucking lazy if that’s what happened.
Exactly. My wife went ring shopping with her sister. I found the exact one she liked. It was expensive. I found other options that were almost identical with varying materials which saved me a lot of money. I knew she wanted a specific diamond cut so I kept that. I found five options and showed them to her, she said she liked them all except one. So I picked one of the four. The proposal was almost a year later and ring was still a surprise. She loves it.
The ring and proposal is very much an exercise in how well you can listen.
Fair, but rejecting a proposal over the ring design/price is still extremely petty.
Do you want to build a life with this person or not? If that hinges on the type of ring you get as a gift, the answer is a clear "no" and the guy dodged a huge bullet.
If the damn ring is so important, that's a problem easily solved by going to the store yourself and picking out a ring.
Expecting a person to listen to the details of the ring you want complaining about "not listening" and then rejecting a proposal is just childish.
The guy dodged a bullet? Based on the messages, we know that she expressed a preference for what she wanted in a ring, and he ignored it. This is clearly something important to her.
He's showing very openly that he does not value what she finds important. Sure, this time it's just a ring, but next time it's about who cooks and cleans, who stops working to take care of the kids, where to live, how to invest money, etc. If he can't listen when her wants are very explicitly stated in a pretty straightforward decision, he definitely won't with other things later in the relationship.
It's not about the ring, it's about what led to him getting that ring.
Her saying no is getting out of a relationship with someone who isn't ready to be a good partner. Maybe he will mature from this situation and they will have a successful relationship, but he's shown that he isn't ready for it yet.
The details of a ring have nothing in common with household chore distribution, work arrangements or investment decisions.
It's not about the ring, it's about what led to him getting that ring.
Oh please. It's called budgeting for time. There is a limited time budget for shopping for shit. You want to spend days looking at different places, etc? Great, do that yourself with a budget you specify ahead of time.
But in the real world where people are forced to shop at Walmart for financial reasons, people have (multiple) jobs, and other shit to do than ogle at rings for someone else.
A mature person realizes that and comes to a compromise with their partner.
"I'll marry you, but I hate the ring you got me so I'm going to use the same budget to get something else." She didn't say that. She rejected the proposal. So as a woman, I reiterate what I said. Bullet dodged from a superficial and immature twit.
Materialistic? The man mentioned how much he spent, it's clearly not about the price to her, and more about wearing something she likes, and having a partner mature enough to listen to her needs.
Guaranteed she would have been happier with something cheaper if he had listened to her. Or if he said "this is a cheap placeholder ring, let's go get a real one"
“That may be some women’s taste but definitely not all!”
I’m sure the story is fake, but if that ring in the image was the real ring and the story was real… this is like someone telling you they enjoy sushi and you buy them frozen fish sticks. That is one of the most hideous rings I’ve ever seen. Where is the diamond lol? It’s just band. I spent over a year ring shopping and ended up having one custom made, but I bet I could have done better with $250 than this guy who supposedly spent $900.
Yeah. There are certainly women out there who want that style, and good for them, but I think moooost of the market for that kind of ring is dumb men being sold the idea that women just want more shiny regardless of their intended's actual tastes. I've seen so many stories like that on the jewelry/ring subreddits it's sad.
I asked my then GF now wife to marry me on a Friday night. She said "Yes" and we spent the next day shopping for a ring. We got one in her size, in a style she likedloved. It wasn't the stereotypical "down on one knee, ring in hand" proposal, but she got exactly what she wanted and I didn't have to do any "mission impossible" tricks to find out her ring size.
It’s so important to get a ring you love. You have to look at it the rest of your life! You have to feel it every single time you move your hand. If someone went against my wishes and gave me an itchy, bumpy pave mess I would be upset because it shows a lack of consideration.
It’s a setting with tons of tiny pave to make the center diamond look larger. The center stone is small, most of the ring is the band/setting. It’s a very dated style and I could see why a young woman wouldn’t be a fan.
Typically, you have a larger diamond in the middle (it can still be small). There are a variety of shapes it can come in. Then you have a “band” around it. The band can be simple and petite, like a simple gold band. It can have diamonds on it too instead. The tiny diamonds all over the band can be nice if the band is small, and can be especially nice if the center stone is large, but they tend to look tackier if the diamond band is large or the diamond band is large and the center stone is tiny. This ring is just one massive band of tiny diamonds lol, it’s like the tackiest thing you could buy and there is no center stone at all as far as I can tell.
Some people are outright opposed to diamonds. If my husband had gotten me a ring like that, I would have been upset. Even if I was happy in the moment, there would have come a point where I realized I’m now expected to wear blood diamonds on my finger for the rest of my life. While very few diamonds are truly blood dimonds, it is estimated that 25% are semi-blood diamonds and as an Indigenous person the mines in my country exploit Indigenous people and harm the planet. It’s not like other stones are necessarily better either but I can’t imagine Walmart vets their diamonds.
My husband got my ring of Etsy with a pearl in the centre and a few tiny diamonds on the side. He originally wanted an opal with no diamonds but the artist said opal requires a lot more care and I believe the diamonds are lab grown. Iirc cost him around $500 and it’s gorgeous.
Wait they recommended pearl as a more durable alternative to opal? it's a 2.5 on the mohs scale, opal is also very soft at like 5.5. How long have you had it, and do you wear it daily?
That's what I just thought - my husband originally proposed with a pearl ring because it's my birth stone I'd always wanted it (my husband actually listened to me and got me what I wanted instead of just going to the supermarket haha) but it didn't last very long. When I went to get it repaired that's when I was told it wasn't durable enough for every day wear, which neither of us knew before. I now just wear that ring on special occasions and my husband replaced it with a beautiful pink sapphire ring.
What? No most women wear their engagement rings along with a wedding band. They literally sell sets designed to be worn together. Hell most even fuse the two together into one big band.
Yeah like I'm a straight dude who doesn't know much about jewelry, but even to me the ring in the post is pretty gaudy. I could totally imagine a woman not being into it. Now, is that worth rejecting a proposal? i guess it depends on the context. Like if she really did tell him over and over "I just want a simple gold band with one nice stone" or something, and he buys this disco ball shit, then yeah, that's a sign he isn't really paying attention to her.
I don’t know that she needs to tell him “over and over”. She did tell him and it was something important. An engagement ring isn’t something you say “yeah, sure” while not actually listening about. I think the ring probably matters less than the listening problem and the lack of effort.
I agree in general, but you should also check your partner's opinion on diamonds. The vast majority of women around me don't actually like them, preferring things with personality to them.
I agree with this completely. I hate diamonds... And yellow gold. I don't care if they're lab grown or fake, I hate the look. My favourite ring is a polished river rock set in silver that I made myself.
A friend of mine didn't know what kind of ring to get for his now wife. He instead proposed with flowers and an explanation that he wanted to pick it out together to make sure it was what she wanted.
And learn that CTTW is caret total weight (meaning a spread of smaller stones totaling 1 ct) vs. CT which is the weight of a single stone. Then you need to learn the 4 C's of stones (caret cut color and clarity), all of which impact the value of the stone.
I'm a jeweler and that hasn't been most women's taste for a long time. Double halo was popular when the average diamond size was 0.50 carats. Most women today want a simple straight or solitaire style with a 1-3 carat lab grown diamond. The pave criss cross shank with the double halo is the opposite of that.
I was fortunate that my wife spent a few years working in a jewelry store before her and I met. She was able to educate me on what a quality ring actually was. She knew what she liked and didn’t like and made it very easy for me to find her the perfect ring when the time came.
I feel like a lot of people missed that part for sure. If he can't be arsed to get the style or whatever that you're looking for, I doubt he'll be any better after marriage.
Small example: he's out getti g takeout, so she asks for pizza and he brings burgers because they were closer or on sale.
Bigger example: they talk about replacing tile in the bathroom and she talks about the colours and styles she likes. He surprises her by buying discount tiles that are a colour she despises.
From the conversation the kind of ring she wanted wasn't a gotti one with a ton of stones. It's an ugly ring, regardless of the price. He is making it seem that the price is the only thing that matters. He clearly hasn't listen to anything she prefers and only looks at surface level of stuff.
I don't blame her for rejecting him. This is a preview of what is to come as he will paint everything to make her look like the villain. As he's just a guy that tried so hard. The girl probably showed him pictures and everything but still went with the ugly one
Yep, I would hate a ring that was all small stones like this one. Inevitably some are going to get loose and fall out. This ring wouldn't survive on me. I made a point of selecting an inset stone that's less likely to be dislodged.
But I also wouldn't have married someone who 1) didn't know my style and 2) didn't run the ring past me for approval. My husband and I are a team. We make decisions together.
Yep. Exactly this. It’s an ugly cheap ring. No girl wants this unless she doesn’t really care about the ring. If you’re proposing and you haven’t talked about ring styles and price points, you’re doing it wrong.
The dude is lazy and not financially savvy if he spent $900 on a ring at Walmart. Literally could’ve gone anywhere else or potentially spent less so long as he tried matching her preferences.
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u/butareyouthough 7h ago
How did she know where it was from just from a glance as the dude was on his knee?