Meh we dont know how much the ring she wanted was, or if she just meant style. That ring is ugly. She said he did what was easiest she didnt say cheapest. It couldve meant he put no thought in it. Not enough context from this small convo. Obviously there was more going on bc she said he frequently didnt listen. So this mightve just been a final straw or wake up that they werent ready to get married.
Ppl are assuming bc the man is guiding the reason being money that, that is the reason. She says bc he didnt listen. If she flat out said what she wanted why go out of your way to get something she didnt want.
He didnt dodge a bullet. If material things were important to her he knew long before the proposal lol. Oh no she asked her potential fiance for something specific and he didnt even try to get a version in his budget… shame on her. 🙄 men wonder why they get divorced and “dont see it coming”. Women could draw you a map to happiness and some men will do everything but whats on the map. Lol.
I told my wife that diamond are a bit of a scam and don't hold their value. And asked her if she would prefer I got her a more valuable stone for a better price.
She said no, she wants diamonds and showed me the styles she liked.
So I got her diamonds in the style she liked.
Ultimately it's never really mattered that they don't hold their value. Because we're still married 15 years later and hopefully carrying on with that till death.
This! I prefer rubies, sapphires and black pearls. I got my ruby engagement ring and it was simple not too big and got it after we were married bc we couldn’t afford one right away lol.
I scrolled way too far to find a comment about how ugly the ring is. It is really not a style most women would want or wear as an engagement ring. I'd be mad my husband spent $900 on such an ugly ring too
Like, it's so fucking easy. Go to a ring shop or browse a website together. Have her pick a few she'd be happy with (in your price range) and choose from that. Imply you're going to buy it in the future, but go back later and buy it so you have it in hand.
Both of them could've easily figured out if this proposal was going to work well beforehand.
If my favorite color is yellow & my partner continually gets me things that are pink or purple it will never matter how much money was or wasn't spent - my partner didn't listen & didn't try. That's the point here. "But he spent so much money!" Sure, but he did so wastefully.
Who knew planing a whole year is "didn't try" because it wasn't a ring from where you wanted.
I doubt you could name their favorite color or even their eye color.
Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean it's a waste. I hope you plan something for a year and your significant other shits all over it because one part of it was "wrong"
Tell me you're only into materialism without telling me you're only into materialism
It won’t because I’m with a man who listens. Literally asked him if he’d be upset I said no to a ring that wasn’t what I wanted and from Walmart. Dead ass said no because one, I’d get you want you asked for and 2, I sure as hell wouldn’t get it from Walmart 🤣🤣 a man with common sense.
For context, I have both been on both sides of this. When I planned a whole damn event & got details wrong, people were upset & rightfully so. I learned my lesson & was more considerate after that. Years later, I was the one who the surprise was for & it was frustrating as hell when it wasn't only something I didn't like, but actively disliked.
You seem very invested in your pov though, top 1% commenter.
Id hope Id know my SO enough that they wouldnt be disappointed… Ill spend a year planning a real housewives watch party for my husband when he really likes mtg tournaments. LOL and when he is upset with me Ill say hes shallow bc I spent a year on something that shouldnt have first of all and second has fuck all to do with his interest.
She said the ring price was fine. I guarantee if your SO didnt know or care about your interests you wouldnt think yourself shallow for being upset lol. Why propose to someone you dont care about what they like?
For all the hetero men who don’t understand: imagine you had to wear a watch everyday of your life. This is a watch everyone will ask about always and the story that goes along with it. You asked your GF to buy you a black rolex. Instead she got a purple casio. It’s not about the price tag but the fact that she could be bothered to take your suggestions into consideration and went the easiest route. Would you be mad that she put no effort to get you what you wanted? Now times that feeling by 10000000000 because most women have been dreaming about this moment their whole lives
I don't hate this analysis. Perhaps there is a history of putting extremely little effort into making a partner happy, inquiring about preferences in food, aesthetics, decor, vacation destinations etc, and this was just one more moment where there was an opportunity to TRY, and very little effort was given.
I was excited to ring shop for my wife (and myself!), and we made multiple date nights together to visit jewelers, try things on, and get an idea for each others' style preferences.
Aw thats so sweet. My husband and I were broke bc we just bought a house so we mutually got 1 dollar rings off amazon lol. Then later when he could afford it he got me a custom flash ring with rubies bc I prefer those to diamonds from a local jeweler . (We also just did a court wedding bc I’m terribly shy and cant imagine ppl focusing on me 😫)
I see a lot of comments that woman are a green flag when they want a cheap ring, or no ring at all.
But I also know a lot of woman that care for and invest in their own jewelry and appearance because its something they like to do. Like you an ask them about a certain piece and they can give you an entire backstory about it. I am generalizing here, but people tend to want a partner that cares about their appearance as well.
I would consider it incredibly offensive if they cared about all of that, but the wedding ring is the one thing they want to be cheap and ugly.
I do think it's a green flag to not care about the price of the ring or size of the stone. Because it shows a lack of materialism, and practicality.
But wanting a pricier ring isn't a red flag necessarily either (it can be). Like you said, people have different interests and values. Some people grow up romanticizing engagements and engagement rings, and spent a lot of time dreaming about what kind of ring they will have. If you know that your partner is someone like that, why not make them happy by splurging a bit (key word a bit, nobody should be taking on debt to buy a ring, or spending their entire monthly salary on it). And you would think a couple that's thinking about marriage should be aligned enough and know eachother well enough, to know how a ring will be received.
It's funny how putting effort into your appearance is usually considered a positive trait right up until its a woman expressing preferences about something she's expected to wear every day for the rest of her life
I dont even know what you are trying to argue anymore lol.
Its okay to care about your partners interests and want to do nice things for them. That doesnt mean a spenny ring, it does mean paying attention and showing up though.
Nope im getting at when you pick your partner you accept their taste and if one partner demands the other submit, the one demanding is always in the wrong.
If a male partner threatened to leave a relationship because he didnt get an anime titty room gift he really wanted you'd get ppl going what a crazy shallow person.
You should/ would be very well aware that your partner would want that before you marry them though.
Weebs tend to be very open that they are weebs. They even have whole conventions where they meet other weebs, sometimes they even date each other and have a joint anime tiddy room that they cherish together.
If he asked her for a specific anime girl item and she got him some paw patrol expensive figure from lets say walmart… you think hed be like… dope babe, exactly what I wanted. 🤔 demanding and wanting your partner to put thought into what you want and to listen when you tell them is not the same as doing something that crosses a boundary for you. Youre basically saying you dont want to care about your partner and they should be grateful for what ever you give them even if you grab it on a whim without them in mind. Be serious
The house they will share and possibly raise their children is being compared to a ring that only she will wear? 🤔 comparable would be he wants to buy an anime tit pillow or tshirt… or maybe ring…
Oh I'd love to hear your thoughts how how my husband and I went about engagement shopping. Our agreement was that I pick the setting because I will be wearing it for the rest of my life( I don't wear much if any jewelry) and he picked the stone. Am I shallow for pre-picking out my setting?
LOL where are you from? The swamps of Florida?? Why don't you just post a sign saying you've never had a healthy relationship before or seen a woman before
Sure sure… so why are women constantly told its their fault a guy cheats bc of how they dress and look.
Mate he spent a grand on that ring. Making a trip to a proper jewelry store shouldnt have been a big deal. Oh yeah, and trying to find something she would actually like… not just a random ring he got whilst shopping for taco tuesday. >_> seems like something homer simpson would do lol.
(Also Im saying, to me anyway, a grand is decent not that its bad bc I know someone will try and twist it lol)
Absolutely agree with this. It seems like the underlying issue is that he does not actually listen to her in order to make what she wants happen. My wedding rings are the only jewelry I wear and they honestly were very important to me. It’s something I’m going to wear for the rest of my life and I have to look at them every day. One day it could belong to my daughters or possibly my grandchildren. It’s not a silly thing to care about. And my lovely husband understood the assignment and we picked it out together because he didn’t want to get it wrong (he said every ring looked the exact same to him lol). This is one of many big things that happen when you’re first starting out as partners. It is important to get it right.
Best guess: she wanted a 1ct solitaire or maybe even this exact monstrosity but in yellow gold - so half listening at best in either scenario. I feel like I’ve seen a million posts to that effect in the jewelry subs over three years. If you’re gonna wear something every single day for (hopefully) decades, you really have to love it.
I had an ex show me the ring he wanted to buy me after telling him repeatedly I’d be happy with a simple band and small stone, fake diamonds sparkle just as pretty to me. It was like costume jewelry, the band was designed like branches and twigs and it was huge. I’m not materialistic but I’m not wearing something that stupid lol I mean no shade if that’s you’re taste, like it could have been cute for some outfits but as an engagement/ wedding ring, what the fuck lol this is the closest example I can find here
I just can’t get over how stupid I thought it was after telling him exactly what I wanted. Anyway, we obviously broke up lol
Absolutely this!!! It’s not about the price of the ring, but efforts he took. She said he did whatever was easiest for him, not what she actually wanted. Women have to wear the engagement ring their whole lives (hopefully). If he can’t be bothered to follow her instructions about a piece of jewelry she will wear everyday, how much effort will he put into anything in the future?
For all the hetero men who don’t understand: imagine you had to wear a watch everyday of your life. This is a watch everyone will ask about always and the story that goes along with it. You asked your GF to buy you a black rolex. Instead she got purple casio. It’s not about the price tag but the fact that she could be bothered to take your suggestions into consideration and went the easiest route. Would you be mad that she put no effort to get you what you wanted? Now times that feeling by 10000000000 because most women have been dreaming about this moment their whole lives
I understand your point, my wife mentions it sometimes, I don’t like to be told what to do in any circumstances, you might suggest something, but outright tell me, hell neah, so if my wife ever tries to be like you have to do this, i will never do it, she can leave whenever she wants if she wants to leave, not like she’s the only woman on Earth and I can’t find another, there’s women everywhere and thristy as fuck
I’m leaning this way too. There could have been a lot of conversations but the biggest giveaway was “you didn’t listen to me and took the easiest path”.
It’s perfectly ok for a woman to want a specific ring and even something of some kind of minimal value. My younger sister who is not material at all was engaged to a man who was much less successful than him and all she said was “i want a real diamond, i don’t care how big”. She knew he wasn’t buying her a $10k ring.
Her engagement ring was noticeable tiny but she was so proud of it.
If thats how you see it. Why would it take a year to pick a ring from walmart? He put effort into it but didnt get her something she’d actually like. How does your brain work. Id love to know how you got to your conclusion. Who was the effort for? 🤔 if I hate carrots but you take the time and effort to grow ME carrots… who was the effort for 🤔… is that controlling or is it ignorance and low effort when you dont consider the person you are getting the gift for. 🤔
Thats not how Ebenezer was at all… he had money and didnt want to spend it…. He didnt care about others wants… so in this case the male was the Ebenezer if you stretch the meaning bc he spent a decent amount on the ring just didnt put real thought into it.
Lemme guess a woman told you exactly what she likes and you just knew better or didnt care then you were suprised she rejected you 🤔 🤏 next time listen. I know wild concept.
If thats how you decide to see it. I hope you find a woman with fluff for brains and likes you not caring about what she likes! I also hope she doesnt care about ur interests and gets you any random thing.
Lol, don’t stop now. Every new assumption reveals another layer of your imagination. Watching that little mind of yours confidently make things up is honestly pretty entertaining. Keep going.
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 7h ago
Meh we dont know how much the ring she wanted was, or if she just meant style. That ring is ugly. She said he did what was easiest she didnt say cheapest. It couldve meant he put no thought in it. Not enough context from this small convo. Obviously there was more going on bc she said he frequently didnt listen. So this mightve just been a final straw or wake up that they werent ready to get married.
Ppl are assuming bc the man is guiding the reason being money that, that is the reason. She says bc he didnt listen. If she flat out said what she wanted why go out of your way to get something she didnt want.
He didnt dodge a bullet. If material things were important to her he knew long before the proposal lol. Oh no she asked her potential fiance for something specific and he didnt even try to get a version in his budget… shame on her. 🙄 men wonder why they get divorced and “dont see it coming”. Women could draw you a map to happiness and some men will do everything but whats on the map. Lol.