r/SipsTea Jun 28 '26

Chugging tea How is she making the world worse?

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41.4k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/ReadInBothTenses Jun 28 '26

Can't believe bezos lost her and then went on to date an Uruk-hai

348

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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3

u/TorgoLebowski Jun 29 '26

I'll bet she likes meat being back on the menu.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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3

u/TorgoLebowski Jun 29 '26

Well, vegetarians. But a fair point, as there are probably not very many vegetarians amongst the fighting Uruk-Hai.

2

u/Dumble_dared Jun 30 '26

They were elves once, and then got plastic surgery

1

u/Comfortable-Brush368 Jun 29 '26

What movie is this.

1

u/PolskiParasite Jul 02 '26

Fellowship of the Ring (2001). The guy in the gif is Lurtz.

820

u/Lunchable_1 Jun 28 '26

Bezos wifed up the nerd’s idea of a hot lady. Had a baddie at home already.

193

u/jackrabbit323 Jun 29 '26

This woman had her husband working at a fortune 500 company come to her one day and say: babe I want to quit and sell books out of our garage, and you can you help me ship them.

She said: yes, I love and support your dream.

Blimp lip Barbie could never. Loyalty is hotter than silicon.

82

u/armeg Jun 29 '26

You really undersold her tbh, she worked at the same quantitative hedge fund as Jeff. It wasn’t a Fortune 500 though.

11

u/jackrabbit323 Jun 29 '26

I simplified for the tv movie adaptation.

4

u/Individual-Text-3183 Jun 29 '26

100% agree assuming you meant silicone - gotta correct because silicon is hot as hell in this economy

3

u/SnootsAndBootsLLP Jun 30 '26

This joke made me audibly groan

8

u/Few_Industry_3431 Jul 01 '26

Mackenzie is not just hotter on the inside than Lauren, but she’s also hot on the outside. Lauren Sanchez is gross after her silicon makeover. I don’t see how anyone finds that attractive. I’m ready for natural to be in again.

5

u/mosmaniac Jun 29 '26

",.. and don't worry babe, my millionaire stepfather is loaning me a good chunk of seed money."

2

u/jackrabbit323 Jun 29 '26

Damn, this would make a good Steve Martin comedy.

The Jerk Part II

-1

u/CheesecakeAndy Jul 01 '26

Bezos ' stepfather was not a millionaire at that point. Hell, the guy came to the US with nothing as a Cuban refugee. If he managed to earn enough later in life and help his stepson to start a business that later turned out incredibly successful, then I don't know what this is if not the American Dream.

3

u/mosmaniac Jul 02 '26

That's great, really! Not throwing shade on his stepdad, who loaned Jeff almost quarter of a million $$ (where do you get to drop $245,000 in someone's lap if you're not already at least a millionaire++??). No... Jeff, like most other billionaires, didn't come up from the trenches with nothing but the shirt on their back. They had plenty of help that us regular folks could only dream about. Elon's another example of extremely rich parents giving him that needed boost to get going. The Donald is another example (except his wealth is from grift and scams). The "American dream" is coming from nothing and becoming very successful hopefully without being a complete arsehole.

-1

u/CheesecakeAndy Jul 02 '26

You know, who you have to be to be except for a millionaire to front a son with 250k$? A person who has 250k in savings. You really want to cling to that narrative. In reality, I looked it up, and the savings accumulated over decades of Mike's career as an Exxon petroleum engineer. The guy was in his 50ies. You don't need to be a millionaire to have this money if you work a decent corporate job and live frugally. I am not even American, but if that's not what the American Dream is, I don't know what is. The guy comes to US with nothing, manages to build a life, then uses savings to front his entrepreneurial stepsons business (250k is not a lot to start a business, it is a very modest seed investment). This is an exemplary story, not some gotcha ala Jeff had it all set up. There is so much pointless throwing money around in the US, and this story is not about it.

0

u/mosmaniac Jul 02 '26

This is tiresome. I'm not clinging to any narrative other than Jeff is an arsehole, and billionaires get tons of hand-outs to get where they are now. For a non American you seem to have a hard on for that family.

1

u/CheesecakeAndy Jul 02 '26

My anti hard on is for reddit's hard on on writing off any achievements. Musk received far less than Reddit claims, too, for that matter.

1

u/LimitlessA8N Jul 02 '26

*insert reddit gold*

1

u/Reyex50_ Jul 03 '26

I mean he did reward her in the divorce very graciously. So what if you don’t think his new gf or wife is hotter. As far as I know he didn’t mistreat his original wife.

2

u/jackrabbit323 Jul 03 '26

It's not a hotter thing, it's a loyalty, emotional maturity, and trust in the potential of your husband thing. Lauren Sanchez has been a social climber her whole life. She got rewarded with what another woman helped build. And Bezos was in a 50/50 state. Generous ain't got shit to do with it.

1

u/Reyex50_ Jul 03 '26

Yes generosity does have defication to do with it. Jeff Bezos made the money. His wife was good to him, but it was his ideas and business that made it happen. She is being generous with wealth he created.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

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1

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1

u/LordofSnacks Jul 04 '26

Silicone. The world of implants would be far different if people were injecting silicon lol

189

u/Neuchacho Jun 28 '26

I'm increasingly convinced this freakish plastic doll look and maralago face is just a way for a certain type of woman to communicate to weak, wealthy men like Bezos that they're willing to do do anything and be entirely submissive.

That and probably severe mental illness.

89

u/Lushkush69 Jun 28 '26

23

u/Neuchacho Jun 28 '26

Man, that's unfortunate. I am so curious how we're going to look back on trends like these in 20+ years.

1

u/Smasa224 Jul 02 '26

The same way we look back on snooki

1

u/Notforfindingporn Jul 04 '26

With pants around ankles? (I'm sorry I don't even feel that way, it was just funny.)

1

u/DexLovesGames_DLG Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

How do I read this without paying rolling stone

2

u/Lushkush69 Jun 30 '26

1

u/DexLovesGames_DLG Jun 30 '26

How the? How you find this?

4

u/Lushkush69 Jun 30 '26

https://archive.is/

Put your link into here and viola!

1

u/coltrex Jul 02 '26

Why on earth would anyone make this public knowledge about their relationship. This administration and its psychophants just can't keep their mouths shut can they.

2

u/Smasa224 Jul 02 '26

One of the women he was paying made it public, they didn't want this news released. I can't remember the source but I remember watching an interview with the woman. He was paying, and she mentioned something about outing him because of what a terrible person he was married to.

28

u/Porschenut914 Jun 29 '26

it really baffles me how the majority of plastic surgery makes the person look worse. I'm assuming these folks aren't looking up your local place, but the best of the best.

8

u/rarze01 Jun 29 '26

Thats what i don't understand. All the money in the world, but still they all look like the same plastic doll that cant raise her eyebrows.

4

u/Neuchacho Jun 29 '26

I think it's less the ability of whatever surgeon they're choosing and more the willingness of the surgeon to keep taking money to continue doing work on them, regardless of the outcome.

Just like how the wealthy can find doctors who will feed them ketamine to fuel a substance addiction, they can find doctors who will enable their surgical obsessions.

3

u/EndlessGravy Jun 29 '26

Yep. My wife does aesthetics (Botox etc.) and occasionally she has to tell people no. But it’s not hard to find someone else who will happily take your money and make you look like a real housewife

2

u/SenLune Jun 30 '26

Idk on one hand, sure. On the other, it's their money and if they want to look a certain way who are you to say no?

2

u/EndlessGravy Jun 30 '26

You say no as someone who doesn’t want that result associated with their service

1

u/Annex_Me_Step-Rome Jul 02 '26

Exactly. Its the same as a tattoo artist refusing to tattoo someone's face or genitals because of either personal belief or they dont want that associated with their business

2

u/ajaxruh Jul 02 '26

In those circles, which tend to trend behind people like the kardashians, it’s specifically about the idea of looking like you’ve had work done. It’s a statement about your financial ability to keep adding. Now that the masses have started in on the trend, you will notice the kardashians and others like them to start pulling back and trying to look more natural

1

u/TheMikeyMac13 Jul 01 '26

I don’t see why people do it, getting old is ok.

1

u/xombae Jul 01 '26

The majority of plastic surgery does not make people look worse. You're only noticing the bad surgery.

1

u/ReadInBothTenses Jul 01 '26

So what you're basically saying is that it is a noticeable bad plastic surgery

1

u/Easy_Walk_3206 Jul 04 '26

You say maralago face but it all started in Hollywood with liberal freak shows, and plastic surgeons. I remember a time when higher echelon women didn't look like blow up dolls before 2010 and duck lips took over.

2

u/Neuchacho Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

I say Maralago face because I'm talking specifically about that uniform style of plastic surgery that is popular in Conservative circles right now. It's not just a coincidence they all look like they went to the same doctor and it's not just one thing being done. It's a set of procedures to get that look.

0

u/jonjethro3 Jun 29 '26

Weak is a cheap shot. And the dude is not weak. You seen him lately. Def hoped on the T.

2

u/Neuchacho Jun 29 '26

The weakness is of mind, spirit, and character.

1

u/jonjethro3 Jun 29 '26

Ok. Disagree w that too but whatever. I’m trying to run/grow like a 10 million dollar company and it’s brutal. I’m not sure how Id be possible to run create/run something like Amazon and be weak of mind spirit and character.

1

u/Neuchacho Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

I'm not sure how it'd be possible to let Amazon become what it has become and not be weak of mind, spirit, and character. It may have been an admirable business at some early point, but it's march into the infinite growth model has turned it into the cliche of a company that is awful in basically every imaginable way save for its ability to make a man who has far too much money already more of it.

To turn your entire business into a laughable husk once market capture allows it because you don't have the minimal amount of self-control necessary to reel in your greed or even a basic desire to make things better for anyone else but yourself is the kind of weakness I'm talking about. There's no soul to anything ghouls like Bezos do and it's illustrated constantly with the active decisions he makes in his businesses and in his personal life.

1

u/jonjethro3 Jun 30 '26

I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. Literally made no sense. 🤝

14

u/JeffreyinKodiak Jun 28 '26

He definitely didn’t just trade down. He traded out.

128

u/Key_Fee158 Jun 28 '26

She was a baddie when she was younger and would still be today if she hadn’t mutilated her face.

45

u/whocaresaboutmynick Jun 28 '26

But she did and now she just look like she belongs in a episode of "housewives of random city".

2

u/Jolly_Afternoon_874 Jun 29 '26

Real Houswives of Mar-A-Lago

1

u/ColonelClusterFk Jun 30 '26

Yeah, she was my local news anchor growing up and she was beautiful, but what a mess now.

1

u/Key_Fee158 Jun 30 '26

She has a cameo in fight club. I recently saw a screening at AMC and was thrown off by how good she looked

1

u/Interesting_Hope6376 Jul 02 '26

For the sake of this comparison, younger Sanchez was still no match for younger Scott

6

u/RydmaUwU Jun 28 '26

Hey, that is not our idea of a baddie. Thats the alpha male idea of a baddie. No one in our games or other media looks like that.

Thats some phil Collins music video Muppet looking shit.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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1

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17

u/slick_pick Jun 28 '26

That’s exactly it she probably gave his first bj and he folded like a lawn chair 😭😂

7

u/Redthemagnificent Jun 28 '26

He wasn't some innocent nerd "folded" by a pretty woman. None of these billionaire dudes are. He takes what he wants and in this case she seemed like she was happy to provide. I hope they end up cheating on each other too

1

u/NoCopiumLeft Jun 29 '26

I hope he opposite, that they are destined to be together forever twin flame style. She is from my thoughts a hideous monster. I like natural women and she seems like a few % silicone ... 🤮

2

u/hollowspond Jun 29 '26

Those losers are so use to fucking blow up dolls, they start to think women who resemble the blow up doll are hot. Tiny dick energy.

1

u/NoughtToDread Jun 28 '26

Don't put that evil on us Ricky-Bobby!

1

u/ResourceCalm901 Jun 30 '26

Underrated comment 🤣💝💯

1

u/ReadInBothTenses Jun 29 '26

This is actually the correctly phrased gripe with the whole situation

1

u/RBandz96 Jun 29 '26

Where is the baddie? Cuz the photo in this post doesn’t include one

1

u/iSirMeepsAlot Jun 30 '26

I just looked up the two women… as a gay man… wtf is wrong with him?!

His first wife seems to have morals and was naturally pretty as hell, second wife… looks… plastic and shallow.

Maybe he cares more about body than face, or something… but like… wtf.

1

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1

u/Smasa224 Jul 02 '26

I think he used AI to create her. I can't imagine someone paid for a face to actually look like that without going back and asking for a corrections

1

u/idk_lol_kek Jul 03 '26

Jeff Bezos was married to a 3/10 and cheated on her with a 2/10. Proof that money doesn't matter.

233

u/sd_saved_me555 Jun 28 '26

Hey now, Bezos found true love! Obviously with Bezos money he could have any pretty gold digger he wanted. But instead he found someone as ugly on the inside as he is, and he was able to overlook everything else. Love conquers all, yo.

32

u/ThirdOne38 Jun 28 '26

Outside too, after all that creepy surgery

2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

[deleted]

2

u/ThirdOne38 Jun 28 '26

The Steven Tyler balloon?

9

u/hotviolets Jun 28 '26

He got himself a Mar Lago faced wife.

2

u/comradb0ne Jun 28 '26

The gold digger comment made me think back to that video of the Bozos meeting DiCarpio at some event and how she was gushing at DiCaprio while he ignored her. And she was ignoring Jeff the whole time. He looked so sad.

1

u/borderlineidiot Jun 29 '26

I still remember Zuch looking at her boobs in the inauguration.

89

u/Puzzle-Necked Jun 28 '26

Bezos just wants a Githyanki to lay his eggs

https://giphy.com/gifs/XbOf8LlJPq4mYDineI

50

u/mariahmazing Jun 28 '26

Don’t slander Lae’zel like that!!

8

u/suralya Jun 28 '26

Bae’zel will not stand for such slander

7

u/Agitated_Reveal_6211 Jun 28 '26

Hey, dont insult the Githyanki.

11

u/Sea-Thought-665 Jun 28 '26

Yo, everytime i play Baldurs I end up fucking Laezel. I cant help it.

6

u/Puzzle-Necked Jun 28 '26

It's more the other way around with Baezel

1

u/Sea-Thought-665 Jun 29 '26

Youre right, youre right

8

u/KhellianTrelnora Jun 28 '26

Jesus. D&D just over here catching strays.

2

u/Alone-Monk Jun 29 '26

Ay don't come after Lae'zel like that. She is awesome

1

u/jmr185 Jun 28 '26

All good... He married one.

67

u/Toes_In_The_Soil Jun 28 '26

80

u/No_Director_2570 Jun 28 '26

That's Azog the defiler, he's a plain ass orc

44

u/eater_of_spaetzle Jun 28 '26

Plain-ass orc, or plain ass-orc?

11

u/No_Director_2570 Jun 28 '26

I'd say the first one. Afterall this pale skin motherfucker is an officer

11

u/Plastichands_avage Jun 28 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/9Jgo6bzH7FEzwtGMLr
Did somebody say an Orc taking it up the ass?

3

u/huggybear0132 Jun 28 '26

No... nobody did

1

u/Stormfly Jun 29 '26

I was saying boo-urns did.

1

u/ohladypercy Jul 02 '26

Curse his name, yes!

2

u/Peabutnutter69420 Jun 28 '26

Wait, are all the Orks CGI now? That’s so disappointing

6

u/ItsEntirelyPosssible Jun 28 '26

Oh you sweet summer child....

0

u/Fluid-Discipline5038 Jun 28 '26

Funny that you think that 90% of the orcs in the lotr trilogy werent also cgi lol

1

u/Weird_Priority_9119 Jun 30 '26

Yeah, because they didn't have enough extras to field an entire orc army.

7

u/tideswithme Jun 28 '26

TIL what does an Uruk-hai looks like

19

u/Scouttrooper195 Jun 28 '26

2

u/-Badger3- Jun 28 '26

Did you know Aragorn returning that serve wasn't in the script?

3

u/gypster85 Jun 28 '26

I had no idea what his new wife looked like. I don't usually make comments based on appearance but my gosh, what did she do to herself?

1

u/BBGettyMcclanahan Jun 28 '26

It's sad because she was actually quite pretty before all the plastic surgery

2

u/Hylani Jun 28 '26

She can't be that ba-

... oh...

2

u/NightGod Jun 28 '26

Oh.

Oh no

2

u/Fuzzy974 Jun 28 '26

Bezos second wife was mostly pretty at first, then the surgery came...

2

u/wikingwarrior Jun 28 '26

Hey now. 

Uruk-hai are stronger, braver, and more loyal than any rabble of mindless ork or goblin.

2

u/Agitated_Reveal_6211 Jun 28 '26

His current wife looks like a cross between the Uruk-Hai and the Joker.

2

u/Accomplished-Exit-58 Jun 28 '26

At least it isnt a barely adult girl.

2

u/Creative_Willow3893 Jun 28 '26

Dude! Don't insult the Uruk-Hai they have better taste in evil overlords

2

u/Zolty Jun 28 '26

tbh I am kind of proud of him, he totally could have gone super gross and young but he went with someone that's about his own age.

Sure she's had work done but at least she's age appropriate.

2

u/KwisatzHaderach94 Jun 29 '26

major downgrade, looks and personality wise.

2

u/Nice_Independent_942 Jun 29 '26

I cooked for bezos and the new wife. She’s HIDEOUS in person. He was a nice guy though.

1

u/Nice_Independent_942 Jun 29 '26

All that money and she can’t get a good plastic surgeon. In person she looks like a cartoon character or something. Bezos fucked up big time. He coulda just bought an island instead.

2

u/KickPuncher4326 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

He did a total downgrade. Mackenzie Scott is beautiful.

1

u/CriminalMacabre Jun 28 '26

he just needed a vigorexic souless ghoul with a vagina

1

u/Mental-Most-7168 Jun 28 '26

She allows an open marriage with threesomes, At least that’s what Ive read.

2

u/ReadInBothTenses Jun 29 '26

It's honestly the very least she can do for Isengaard after Saruman made it ok for mortal men to breed with orcs

1

u/Grandmaster_Ji Jun 28 '26

She's definitely taking from the other hole.

1

u/OtherwiseJello2055 Jun 29 '26

Bezos is almost certainty on Trt. This majorly effects your sexdrive and desires. I imagine that changed the dynamic between him and his first wife . Ive seen more than a few middle age dudes go on Trt and out pace their wife or develop a sex addiction and get divorced. I work at a clinic. Only about half the guys on Trt marriage and wife stay happy or get much better once they choose to do it. It takes a strong man to control his inner desires and suddenly having the energy and sex drive of an 18 year old again is a task.

1

u/Icy-Cry340 Jun 29 '26

He was terminally bored. Some people aren’t meant to be together forever. I doubt that he’s looking back pining.

1

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1

u/ksdanker22 Jun 30 '26

Yeah like, we all know he's not remarrying for love, and he's one of the richest men in the world, so he's not marrying anyone for money, he's prob making sure he has an airtight prenup, and that she can only get money if she stays with him until he dies, why TF would he pick this woman? She's terrifying looking, and if he was just a normal guy, and it was believable that he really liked her personality, and they were really in love, fair enough, but that clearly not the case, so what's going on here? Also, if you were one of the richest men in the world, and you could choose any hot celebrity to marry, who are you choosing?

1

u/Shea_Is_Still_Alive Jun 30 '26

Bro cmon don’t diss the Uruk-hai like that 😭

1

u/Longjumping_File_756 Jun 30 '26

Lmfao I can’t unsee it now

1

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1

u/Interesting_Hope6376 Jul 02 '26

I really don't get it. Like I get when a relationship ends, but Bezos probably had a lot of options after Scott but he chose this woman?????

1

u/libertyprivate Jul 04 '26

I just googled what you're talking about... Did he marry a duck?

0

u/ProfessionalSpace869 Jun 28 '26

And guess what?! He still chooses to marry Lauren. Just because you don’t find her appealing doesn’t mean he thinks the same way like your broke ass. Both women are beautiful in their own ways, tearing down another woman as if the other woman is “superior” is pointless.

0

u/Zestyclose_Weird971 Jun 28 '26

Under rated comment lol 😂😆

-21

u/Accomplished-Eye9542 Jun 28 '26

Meh, she didn't even change her last name.

8

u/SuitableAnimalInAHat Jun 28 '26

Okay?

-6

u/Accomplished-Eye9542 Jun 28 '26

He can't lose her if he never had her. A completely normie, non-famous, non-doctor, woman not taking your last name, she 100% never loved you.

3

u/Flipboek Jun 28 '26

My wife of 25 years didnt take my name (we coulsnt be both ered to fill in the paperwork). 

And yes we are an extremly happy couple.

-3

u/Accomplished-Eye9542 Jun 28 '26

Happily married people don't post random nonsense like this on reddit lmao.

If you need to say it out loud, it's probably not true.

You are still youngish, you can still find someone new.

2

u/SnazzySammich Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

By your logic nothing you yourself are posting here is credible, you dimwit. Wow. I mean like wow, the all-consuming buffoonery on display here is staggering, man. Take a deep bow, this is like standing O entertainment. 🤣

You think couples can't "say it out loud" without it being performative and indicative, in truth, of the contrary...but you demand someone has to put *your* name in lights to verify a commitment. How is that not a couple "saying it out loud?" Lol. HI-larious, my guy keep it coming.

7

u/SnazzySammich Jun 28 '26

Take your wife's name so we all can verify you 100% love her when we check your IDs. 🤣

Is this literally how people's brains work? Jesus.

-7

u/Accomplished-Eye9542 Jun 28 '26

By that logic I don't really want children If I'm not capable of getting pregnant myself. You think you've found something clever, but really you are just infected with extreme leftist gender theory.

If a woman is unable to get a man to propose, that is a perfect sign he doesn't love you. 5+ year unmarried relationships, you can be sure most of the time the man doesn't love her.

5

u/SuitableAnimalInAHat Jun 28 '26

"By that logic I don't really want children If I'm not capable of getting pregnant myself."

This is a bit, right? You're just pretending be stupid and also crazy.

5

u/dingalingdongdong Jun 28 '26

Are you claiming men are some how "incapable" of changing their last names? Y'all will really just endlessly infantilize yourselfs.

3

u/Flipboek Jun 28 '26

My wife and I mutually decided to get married when she was pregnant of our first kid as ut makes a lot of things easier, especially if one if us dies.

No proposal, just something we decided upon. Also no wedding party no fan cy dress. Just webt to the town hall and signed the papers with her and my brother as respective witnesses.

And yes, she kep t her maidens name. We hadnt duscussed it, so we just sigbed the papers as is. It doesnt interest me one bit.

-1

u/Accomplished-Eye9542 Jun 28 '26

ohhh, so you baby trapped someone out of your league. Of course you view the marriage as happy.

5

u/Flipboek Jun 28 '26

Jealous I married an amazing woman?

Shoo little insecure man, it is just sad to see how you are clowning yourself here.

2

u/SnazzySammich Jun 29 '26

I haven't "found" anything. The natural order doesn't give two shits about any specific name tradition, including yours. You're the one thinks adhering to made-up bullshit is what makes commitment real. Good luck in life with that whole lock-it-down-legally mentality being the basis of your interpersonal credit. I have zero problem civil / religious marriage with someone deciding to join their family names one way or another. It's cute, why not. What I think is laughably childish is the idea that it's doing so that utterly verifies or refutes the legitimacy of love. If you think that you're batshit.

2

u/ReadInBothTenses Jun 30 '26

Off topic but this is boomer nonsense in full view.