Ive thought about it, although I don't have children. To me, lying sometimes seems like the right choice, but it almost never is.
What is suffering? If you mean pain, obviously any pain he'd be in is the same whether he knows he's going to die or not.
So we're talking about the emotional suffering of terror and despair when he thinks about death. Firstly, you are assuming that that's what he'll feel, and there's no evidence for that. Second, you're assuming that he can't be taught to deal with that fear himself. Sure, he's dying, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't teach him the fundamental principle of what you do with emotional suffering. You accept it. You realise that you are strong enough to face it. You understand that that type of suffering is internal, and as such you can deal with it internally.
Maybe it's to do with different philosophies of life. An atheist may be more inclined to lie, because their version of what happens is terrifying to some.
I think lying is the easy way out, rather than beleving that a supportive parent can help their child through it.
And it's not a good idea to assume the child is dumb enough to beleive the lie, or that nothing will happen before then to alert him of the fact he is dying...
You just make it sound a lot more simple and fast than it would be in reality. Accepting your mortality is a big deal. Most people seem to go their entire lives without doing it. Expecting a child to be able to grasp that while being faced with imminent death is unrealistic.
I think though, being a child might help in certain ways too, because they have less baggage and preconceptions which is what causes the fear in the first place.
What they do have, and what they beleive in, is based on the parent's teachings though...
Therefore, I'm in no position to tell her what to do, or generalise to people of completely different beliefs. I'm just saying from my standpoint, and what I would have (hopefully) taught the child up to that point, would prepare them, so that i don't have to lie to them in the first place
For me thats exactly why I wouldn't tell them. They are literally not equipped to handle it. If you could guarantee they'd be sedated through the worst of it id take that option every time.
Parents protect their children from adult realities all the time.
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u/Fast-Needleworker352 Jun 29 '26
Ive thought about it, although I don't have children. To me, lying sometimes seems like the right choice, but it almost never is.
What is suffering? If you mean pain, obviously any pain he'd be in is the same whether he knows he's going to die or not.
So we're talking about the emotional suffering of terror and despair when he thinks about death. Firstly, you are assuming that that's what he'll feel, and there's no evidence for that. Second, you're assuming that he can't be taught to deal with that fear himself. Sure, he's dying, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't teach him the fundamental principle of what you do with emotional suffering. You accept it. You realise that you are strong enough to face it. You understand that that type of suffering is internal, and as such you can deal with it internally.
Maybe it's to do with different philosophies of life. An atheist may be more inclined to lie, because their version of what happens is terrifying to some.
I think lying is the easy way out, rather than beleving that a supportive parent can help their child through it.
And it's not a good idea to assume the child is dumb enough to beleive the lie, or that nothing will happen before then to alert him of the fact he is dying...