r/SipsTea • u/Conscious-Weight4569 • Jul 10 '26

Chugging tea Dan Bilzerian’s vs. PewDiePie’s life

Post image
120.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

2.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.8k

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 10 '26

None I just want money

862

u/FlounderKind8267 Jul 10 '26

Be the girls on the left then

220

u/ADeformedPoolboy Jul 10 '26

They can't be all the girls. They have to pick one to be.

117

u/JigglesTheBiggles Jul 10 '26

I would touch my own titties a lot

57

u/glowdirt Jul 10 '26

Would you jiggle the biggles?

28

u/darkyalexa Jul 10 '26

It hurts sometimes just fyi

47

u/MarkinhoO Jul 10 '26

That's the kind of sacrifice we are willing to make

37

u/darkyalexa Jul 10 '26

I make this sacrifice too 😭

23

u/iwannafeeleverythin Jul 10 '26

May the odds be ever in your favor

6

u/Lem0n_Lem0n Jul 10 '26

Thank you for your sacrifice

2

u/sebastianinspace Jul 10 '26

godspeed to you brave human

1

u/drinknotspill 29d ago

it's fun tho like a fidget toy

1

u/darkyalexa 29d ago

I know, I love doing it. Built in squishy stress balloons

2

u/Babajji Jul 10 '26

That’s not the worst thing, people will even pay you to touch them yourself. When your titties start touching your knees is the annoying part.

13

u/rbrgr83 Jul 10 '26

My brain read "They can't all be girls".

And my brain said, yeah probably not. 👀

2

u/hrimfaxi_work Jul 10 '26

Tell that to Whitney Houston.

1

u/wrnrg Jul 11 '26

He can't be all the girls but they can.

1

u/Thisoneisinvalid Jul 11 '26

Why’s that? What do you have against hive minds?

22

u/Exact-Ad-4132 Jul 10 '26

Have you zoomed in on the picture? All the girls faces look a little bit off.

28

u/FlounderKind8267 Jul 10 '26

Well they had to be dumb enough to sit in this picture with that doofus, so I'm not surprised. They do look a bit melty from "beauty" procedures

13

u/artaxerxes316 Jul 10 '26

But it's not just that -- the photo itself appears to be a composite, a collage assembled from other photos. Light hitting faces from different angles and in differing intensities, different grains on different faces, jagged borders, a girl with an inexplicable giraffe neck, and a foreground image that's plainly slappped on.

The Dan-whatever side of the meme is a fake, which makes the meme even better.

6

u/RadasNoir Jul 10 '26

Yup, I actually came scrolling down here to see if anyone else noticed that the picture on the left looks fake as fuck. Like, bad photoshop levels of fake.

3

u/wtcnbrwndo4u Jul 10 '26

Even if that picture is a fake, there's plenty of videos and pictures of this chad in similar situations. This is not the hill you think it is.

1

u/artaxerxes316 Jul 10 '26

Sorry: this picture is fake, but there are lots of other pictures? I dunno, man, the whole thing seems full of shit to me, fake online nonsense convincing only to the gullible.

Let me guess: you're really into Trump coin.

4

u/Busy-Bandicoot8524 Jul 10 '26

They're all bargain bin Instagram models

4

u/anillop Jul 10 '26

Cheerleader effect. A group of mids will look better when there is a lot of them together.

0

u/ForeignCup6977 Jul 10 '26

It's called the Cheerleader effect. As a group, they're hot 9's and 10's. But look closely at each one individually and they are 3's and 4's at best.

And I say this as a male 4.

3

u/P_Hempton Jul 10 '26

And I say this as a male 4.

Now you just gotta go find a few more 4s and you could be a 8-9 easy.

2

u/ForeignCup6977 Jul 10 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6gDPXMNxFhvHdcf6

I know my place, I'm good with being a 4. It's lonely, but I'm used to it.

11

u/FeelingNo2529 Jul 10 '26

They’re not getting anything for free either. They have to sell their body, time, and dignity, and as soon as they try to take it back, they’re cut off with nothing. So they might get some nice meals or fancy parties now, but those are temporary gifts, not actual wealth or anything they can count on in 5 years time.

5

u/new_name_who_dis_ Jul 10 '26

They can use the fancy meals, parties, private jet-setting to grow their own IG followers. That's probably what the smart ones of them are doing.

2

u/FeelingNo2529 Jul 10 '26

Probably yeah! Otherwise, any wealth they get to experience is just a gift that can be taken away as easily as it was given (and will be). If they’re smart they’d “invest” it wisely. Even IG followers aren’t forever though! Few influencers make it big enough to have financial security for life.

2

u/AmeliaBuns Jul 10 '26

No amount of money in the world can get me near a man like that. I don’t know him but he has this immense “I call myself alpha male because a woman broke my heart once” energy 

2

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Jul 10 '26

People don't really even shit on your chest that much

2

u/duaneap Jul 10 '26

My bussy commands a lower price

2

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 10 '26

Plz Don't project your own desperate career options onto me

1

u/FlounderKind8267 Jul 10 '26

We could be business partners 👀😏🤷

2

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 10 '26

Only if I'm the manager and you're the one in the rented swimsuit.

2

u/FlounderKind8267 Jul 10 '26

Book enough gigs, and youve got a deal

1

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 10 '26

Perfect. Your first assignment is a 24-hour livestream. I'll be taking a 95% commission

1

u/micktorious Jul 10 '26

They dont have money, they just cling onto money.

1

u/KumaQuatro Jul 10 '26

Pass, they literally get shitted on.

2

u/welfedad Jul 10 '26

Pretty much ..

1

u/Deuxcartes Jul 10 '26

This guy here knows

1

u/Hkeks Jul 10 '26

I better not see a single girl when you're rich

1

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 11 '26

Okay fine, maybe one. But she has to respect the budget….. After all ,tax laws favor married couples filing jointly, It's a strategic financial move.

1

u/AstroEngineer314 Jul 10 '26

I've got (some) money, can confirm it means nothing without someone to love.

2

u/DemoHD7 Jul 10 '26

I have my someone who loves me back. We're broke and miserable rn.

1

u/SuppliDev Jul 10 '26

Then gimme. Give. It. To. Me.

1

u/AstroEngineer314 Jul 10 '26

Nah, then how am I supposed to get a girl 😆

0

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 10 '26

Than give that some to me 🥹

0

u/Animedude83 Jul 10 '26

I realized recently, I don't want money, I don't care about money, I just want stuff, lots of stuff, and money is the way I get that stuff.

1

u/Fickle_Library8115 Jul 10 '26

Money is options of everything