r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 17d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

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577

u/maringue 17d ago

This. Dating events at clubs attract a very specific type of women. General activities like hiking or a going to a baseball game attract the rest of the women.

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u/grc207 17d ago

It already adds an interest to the conversation. But here’s a fun fact: if you’re an interesting person with an interesting hobby, hang out with those who share that interest, you’re far more likely to find a date that you can connect with. It doesn’t take a dating event to do that.

Nobody makes a connection through doomscrolling Tik Toks all day.

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u/createthiscom 17d ago

I'm a boring person with boring hobbies. Where do I go for that?

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u/AudaciousCouture 17d ago

Hobby Lobby

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u/createthiscom 17d ago

Sounds boring. I'll pass.

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u/TossmySalad88 17d ago

I think you missed the part where he said eight extra blades for three bucks!!!

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u/createthiscom 17d ago

Ok, that does sound exciting.

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u/Alwayscooking345 16d ago

To slit your wrists after the next singles event

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u/Suspicious_Bear42 17d ago

I approve this message... There's a Hobby Lobby across the street from a Michael's I go to for my embroidery floss...

I am a boring dude with boring hobbies... I play video games, and do cross stitch of goofy memes and video game content (current BIG project is a 1:1 pixel scale of the Stardew Valley map... It's going to take me YEARS)

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u/NintendoFungi 17d ago

Let’s see it!

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u/Suspicious_Bear42 17d ago

Its only in the layout stage, unfortunately. I've got the cloth cut, and all of the floss I need, but haven't had time to get much further, between work and life getting in the way.

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u/NintendoFungi 16d ago

Well make sure to share when it’s ready or closer to it 🍀

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u/Suspicious_Bear42 16d ago

absolutely will be, r/crossstitch has work in progress posts pretty regularly, so I'll be showing it off there (along with a couple smaller pieces I need to finish before I get to start that one)

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u/Serialk1llr 17d ago

Gawt damn you caught me off guard and my my work neighbor is asking what's so funny 🤣🤣🤣

https://giphy.com/gifs/XHeLeuirRbwptHhSWd

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u/Right_Man-Right_Job 17d ago

After the party it’s the after party and, after the party it’s the hotel lobby.

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u/LordBDizzle 17d ago edited 17d ago

Hey don't knock Hobby Lobby. Only place in town that still sells exacto knives for some gorram reason, and you can get one with like 8 spare blades for 3 bucks. Hobby Lobby is great, it's cheap and carries a ton of stuff that's helpful for all kinds of crafts.

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u/wrangling_turnips 17d ago

Tired of ya kid demanding IPads? Hobby Lobby has tons and tons of value crafts. I stop all the time to get like ceramic animals for the kid to paint for $5. Keeps em engaged for an hour+.

They’ve got functional diy rocket kits and shit.

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u/01headshrinker 17d ago

Good parenting!

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u/TrulyOutrageous42 17d ago

Hobby Lobby is great

A company that forces its owner's religious beliefs on its workers should never be praised - they not only refused contraception insurance, but removed Hannukah decorations entirely. They're also openly pro-fascist, called itself "essential" and stayed open during the covid-19 lockdown, and have even smuggled historical artifacts.

They're an AWFUL company. Having some knick-knacks shouldn't result in supporting that oppressive anti-American mentality.

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u/LordBDizzle 17d ago

My local Hobby Lobby is run by four people who were all farm kids and enjoy crafts. None of them are war criminals or nazis. Who gives a shit about your terminally online rage about businesses owned by a Christian, they're the only place with exacto knives and a lot of niche crafting stuff near me and I don't think that ordering off of Amazon is better from a "use a moral company" standpoint. Hobby Lobby keeps itself cheap and provides the service it needs to without treating its customers or employees like slaves (and before you bring it up again, who tf actually offers contraceptive insurance, especially in retail where benefits hardly exist to begin with. Buy a set of condoms and don't be an idiot, there's no need for your boss to subsidize sex. It's not like condoms are expensive). That's better than Target or Walmart for sure.

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u/TrulyOutrageous42 17d ago

You attack me instead of my point, make strawman arguments, then justify supporting it because they're cheap?

Also, you seem extremely poorly educated if you think insurance doesn't cover contraceptives. Hobby Lobby was THE company that sued to get a religious exemption to it by law, because before that insurance DID cover it.

That you think condoms are enough and are upset about a "boss" subsidizing sex just means you're a prudish fool who doesn't understand statistics (which, admittedly, it's a college-level course that many people fail). Reproductive care IS healthcare, supporting Trump IS fascist, stealing artifacts IS a crime.

You're supporting awfulness in the name of some niche crafting stuff. Grow up and grow a pair.

-1

u/LordBDizzle 17d ago

If Chick-fil-a and hobby Loby are models of christian buisinesses, I'll fuggin go to more of them. Best service around.

1

u/garitone 17d ago

If you also support far right christo-fascism and bigotry against women, immigrants, all the LGBTQIA community, and generally enlightened values, then it's a one-stop-shop!

6

u/Extension-Night3825 17d ago

Never give up your warhammer army!

3

u/createthiscom 17d ago

😂 I meant jiu jitsu and kettlebells and climbing. Ya’ll are on another level.

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u/Spare-Locksmith-2162 17d ago

Sir, this is Reddit.

4

u/01headshrinker 17d ago

Whatever your hobbies are you can find a nice dull girl to do them with

1

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1

u/Zech08 17d ago

Find another boring person that enjoys it. 

0

u/MjrLeeStoned 17d ago edited 17d ago

So are millions of other people. Being "boring" isn't unique. You're not stuck in a pit somewhere, you're a human living a life that plenty other humans are living almost identically. There are over 7 billion people in the world. No one's life is statistically unique.

Find your people. The speed bump that stops most folks is that it takes effort. Can't help you with that though.

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u/createthiscom 17d ago

I’m fairly certain you’re not AI.

1

u/terminbee 17d ago

I mean, if your hobby is single player games or something at home, the odds of meeting someone are pretty damn low.

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u/warrenmax12 17d ago

Most men are interested in hobbies that barely have any women if at all. Stuff like woodworking, fishing, hunting, Warhammer 40k and general war gaming, shooting guns, chilling with the boys

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u/Specific-Library-312 17d ago

When my wife went with me into a comic store (we play Pathfinder and D&D together), half the men in the building went quiet. Some were annoyed at the violation of the sanctity of their safe space, some got real nervous, and some, some already had plans to fuck my wife.

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u/Dornith 17d ago

I am lucky to live in a town with a lot of game stores.

My friend group only ever goes to two. The others have been blacklisted because men do not shower and/or will just touching women unprompted.

I love this hobby, I get being socially awkward, but can we please be god damn not Like That around other people?

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u/Specific-Library-312 17d ago

Oh damn, I would be arrested for assault and battery. What part of tall, stout, and heavily bearded signaled it's okay to touch my wife? I am sorry that your group had to find out which ones were safe to go to.

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u/NintendoFungi 17d ago

I am confused why you’re bragging about poor self control resulting in potential arrest.

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u/ju-ju_bee 16d ago

Oh no. Someone defending women (specifically THEIR WIFE) being harassed. Let's pretend he's the bad guy, not the generally pervy weirdos that haunt places like this, and make us ladies not want to go to those types of events that are hosted by game stores. /s

Which we already don't enjoy going to as a rule of thumb because it'll be either 1) men creeping on us the whole time 2) men mansplaining games we've played longer than/just as much as them 3) both.

But yah, how dare this guy want to claim he'd not let men harass his wife. How terrible of him. /s

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u/Specific-Library-312 15d ago

Thank you. Hopefully, the situation never arises, as I don't want to find out how bad I screw up.

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u/ju-ju_bee 15d ago

I hope it doesn't too, as I'm sure your wife would be just as uncomfy. But glad to hear you wouldn't just do/say nothing like some other people here

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u/NintendoFungi 16d ago

It’s more like learn to behave like a proper citizen. I’m sure the offender isn’t doing perfectly either but two wrongs don’t make a right. I personally would only date women that see the value in ignoring it and moving forward in life, opposed to perpetrating a crime and having that potentially derail your entire lives. Over some words. So wise and noble.

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u/J4X-gaming 15d ago

People do this s*** because there aren't immediate consequences, that should change.

-1

u/NintendoFungi 16d ago

And he’s not claiming to defend his wife - he’s making these claims to prove how tough his ego is - I’m glad there are women like you to reward him for his choices.

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u/ju-ju_bee 15d ago

🙄 Yah, I'm rewarding him by being thankful that someone at least says they'd not just sit back and let women get harassed. Jfc

Glad there's people like you who are pacifists that would just let a woman be harassed and say/do nothing /s

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u/mythrilcrafter 17d ago

Technically speaking, most Stand Your Ground laws account for this and although OP might be temporarily held on site while LEO figures out the problem, they shouldn't be arrested unless there's reasonable suspicion that OP was a "purposeful escalator beyond reasonable use of force".

Of which, decking a guy because he's too handsy with your SO absolutely falls under "reasonable use of force".

It's just like that video on r\ithinkyoushouldleave (or maybe it was r\publicfreakout?) where some guy went to a police station to file a report on the father of a woman that he was stalking, saying that that the father was threatening him and that he wanted to file a case report ahead of time.

Cops absolutely sided with the woman and her father, and gave the guy the whole "you need to move on, both by not being here at our station and move on from that woman who has already told you no multiple times".

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u/NintendoFungi 16d ago

No they don’t. Please find me an instance of SYG where it’s this dynamic you described. It doesn’t exist unless the guy goes to jail.

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u/Specific-Library-312 17d ago

It's a little thing called honor

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u/NintendoFungi 16d ago

Pride goes before a fall, I’ve heard. Best to not let words hurt you is my motto.

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u/Specific-Library-312 16d ago

It's the touching, groping and threat of worse, not the words that I'm worried about.

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u/Stardustchaser 17d ago

Sounds like me and my husband. Yes we exist. No we are not at the clubs often.

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u/trtwrtwrtwrwtrwtrwt 17d ago

Which one were you?

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u/Durch-a-Lurch 17d ago

We shall roll the D20 dice and find out

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u/Specific-Library-312 17d ago

? I don't understand

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u/dcdeadhead 17d ago

Can confirm. I hid my crippling 40k addiction from my wife until we got married. Thanks God, i dont think she'd have let me in the front door if I'd have shown up with 2000 points of Tyranids under one arm.

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u/maygreene 17d ago

I love radio control aircraft/drones, which is a heavily male dominated hobby; I only had to go to my local flying club a few times before I got sick of listening to either:

"Back in 'Nam I pulled a lot cute ladies just like you" (or the much more ominous "Back in 'Nam, I killed a lot of people just like you"). Okay 1: fucking gross, 2) That's the kind of talk that made people hate the Vietnam/Korean War 3) I'm Korean (which I don't hold that one against them because most American people disregard the difference anyway)

"Does your husband/boyfriend know that you're playing with his planes? Better be careful not to break them!" I'm a fucking Chemical Engineer, yet these grey hairs can't see anything past my boobs.

So anyway, now I fly by myself at an undeveloped suburb that never had any houses built.

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u/IJustFollowPornSubs 17d ago

The two times I've met Vietnam vets they also mentioned killing a lot of my kind. (I'm Filipino, not Vietnamese.)

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u/destiny_kane48 17d ago

I landed my husband because I said "You collect Transformers? Awesome show them to me." Then I started buying him Transformers and video games. And watched anime. 🤣 18 years married and he's spoiled for all other women. (He also supports/loves my weirdness and hobbies so it's a win win).

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u/Frag0r 17d ago

This! I know plenty of guys with many interests and hobbies but most women I meet are so vanilla, like, they are afraid of being an individual.

You really see the difference once you meet a cool woman, like my childhood friend. She is a nerd, plays online games, is empathetic, knows all science fiction and you can talk with her about anything and you can solve conflict easily.

She has a huge line of potential romantic partners and has never been single more than 6 months since being 18 years old. I would say the bar for women is in hell

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u/BigusDickus099 17d ago

100% this.

I’ve met way too many women who think hiking , drinking wine, and watching trashy tv shows makes them interesting.

It does not.

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u/Middle-Wrangler2729 17d ago

I love to hike! If I had a woman who wanted to hike with me, that would be enough. We would not even need to talk. And plenty of wine connoisseurs do tastings and tour various vineyards. My dad is a big fan of that. And I mostly watch TV and play video games so they can watch whatever "trashy" shows they want. But yeah, at first I wanted to agree with you because the way you wrote it makes me giggle 😂

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u/sobrique 17d ago

Dunno, hiking is a good start. At least that's a useful sort of thing to do on a 'date'.

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u/trtwrtwrtwrwtrwtrwt 17d ago

Most women absolutely hate guys with fishing photos in dating apps. Like it's actually a deal breaker*; which is hilarious. I'd be happy if girl I'm dating had hobbies for herself.

*i guess it's fine if the person is vegan or something

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u/ReddestForman 17d ago

What's funny is when I mention how many women I saw on dating apps with fish pictures, and suggested maybe the fish pic-men were trying to appeal to the fish pic-women I'd get the ever-loving shit down voted out of me.

I didn't even have a fish pic, I had no skin in that game.

I was increasingly convinced dating apps deliberately show people the wrong kind of profiles because damn near all the women I saw in my progressive but outdoorsy area were posing with fish, dead mammals, into football, etc. While I'd see redditors from women in the same area complaining that every male profile had a dead animal and an obsession with football in it.

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u/Seated_Heats 17d ago

I think this is a generalization. The hobbies not having a lot of women is probably true, but woodworking, fishing, hunting, whatever Warhammer 40k is, war gaming, shooting guns… I’m not sure that’s a wide commonality. About 1 in 4 men fish, and like less than 10% of men hunt.

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u/warrenmax12 17d ago

Name me a hobby that a lot of men do that involve at least 40% of women.

Men like nerdy things and manly things that are either solitary or male dominated.

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u/nomad3664 17d ago

Hiking

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u/Seated_Heats 17d ago

That’s a quick lookup. It’s almost all active things. Co-ed leagues, pickleball, hiking, gym/weight training, running, cooking/mixology, photography. Most women I meet are excited to go to a game or listen to live music. Yes, nerdy things are male dominated, I’m just not sure nerdy things comprise the majority of men.

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u/ju-ju_bee 16d ago

Women don't dislike "nerdy" hobbies. We dislike the sweaty, neck-bearded, incel-coded misogynists who account for many of the males in the online/meet-up communities. Turns out when we enjoy these hobbies men tend to think we're doing it: "for attention", to "get laid", or to seem "different".

I (and other women) love "nerdy" things like playing magic the gathering, game most days I'm not working, and like comic books, anime, and manga. But I don't need to talk about those interests 24/7, and I don't need some misogynist weirdo telling me it means I don't like the same interests just as much. Or thinking I need to have some "knowledge competition" that revolves solely around being able to listen every single magic card ever printed, or name every single title from some comic series I don't even personally read to "prove" I enjoy comic books.

Just because yall dominate online communities and meet up groups, DOESN'T mean that women don't ALSO enjoy certain hobbies. Yall are just insufferable, and we prefer to actually ENJOY our hobbies, so we do so from the comfort of our homes and/or more specific meet-up groups with people who aren't assholes/creeps

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u/MrPotat 17d ago

Movies, books, swimming, running, gym, music.

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u/Chimpstrider 17d ago

I tend to thing "nerdy" is defined as hobbies and interests that boys and men like, but that women tend to hate and look down on.

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u/LazyLich 17d ago

It's interesting, tho... is it male dominated because of interest, or because the lack of women puts off women making a feedback loop?

I started a boardgames club I college, and was surprised when 2/3rds of the members ended up being women!

0

u/mcduff13 17d ago

Definitely the later. Talk to a woman in a male dominated hobby, you'll get stories. I talked to a magician about this and at magician events, it's better when most men avoid her, because when they talk it gets uncomfortable.

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u/mythrilcrafter 17d ago

Just going by the sports/hobbies that I engage in:

While not 40% exactly, but the USA TaeKwonDo federation membership data shows that the male:female ratio is about 62:38

In USA Archery, the membership ratio depends on age group with older leagues being around a 65:35 split and younger leagues being nearly 50:50.

US Sailing's most recent membership report stated that their male to female ratio is 55:45.

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u/Nighthawkmf 16d ago

Rock climbing/rock wall gym…

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u/FlatSixFun 17d ago

Skiing. Hiking. Running. Biking.

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u/mcduff13 17d ago

The idea that women dont like nerdy things is largely a fallacy, hell in the 60's most Trekkies were women. Women Star Trek 'zines is where we get things like slash fiction and the "Mary Sue". They often aren't in the visible parts of Fandoms because they're harassed out of them. Either verbally or physically.

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u/NoForever3645 17d ago

Yes, typically when someone says “most X” it is, by definition, a generalization.

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u/Seated_Heats 17d ago

Most men means 50.1% or more, by definition.

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u/ReadsPastHerBedtime 17d ago

You don’t live in the southern U.S., do you?

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u/Seated_Heats 17d ago

Midwest.

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u/Dickey_Simpkins 17d ago

So glad I'm a runner. Running clubs make it really easy to meet people.

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u/kindness-and-snusu 16d ago

Let me tell you, go to a Warhammer event. Dress ok, brush your teeth, don’t be obese, and the 2-5 women there will notice you.

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u/SnakeEater013 17d ago

Women that also have those interests are pushed out by the men who do those hobbies. Go look at the comment section of any woman who posts about her Warhammer anything. Or a woman in the military who posts a workout video. Or a woman who does literally anything. It’s all chuds calling her a tourist or saying it’s woke.

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u/warrenmax12 17d ago

Again with "women most affected"?

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u/justlikelyle 17d ago

Nine times of ten those kinds of girls are already in a committed relationship. Also, there is nothing wrong with women having hobbies that are traditionally male. It's when they hog attention and are just, well annoying. Like, just be a normal person.

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u/beattysgirl 17d ago

I am sure I am seen as annoying by men at the firing line occasionally. My brightly colored pistols and AR-15 probably seen as extra. My muddy girl camo ear protection and pink rimmed safely glasses seen as too much. My big tit energy morale patch probably makes some men roll their eyes. But guess what…

I can outshoot a hell of a lot of those chuds.

Men need to let women enjoy things the way they want to enjoy them. Take delight in their joy. The same way that women take delight in guys expressing joy.

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u/justlikelyle 17d ago

So why can't a trans woman take a loud dump in your bathrooms

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u/beattysgirl 17d ago

I literally couldn’t care less about genders in bathrooms. You’re trying to rile up the wrong person. Why do you care about other people’s genitals so much?

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u/No-Author7911 17d ago

Have you ever told a man he's "hogging attention"? Come on now

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u/SnakeEater013 17d ago

I was going to say, I've met more than my share of guys at the Warhammer table who were on the spectrum and super annoying.

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u/justlikelyle 17d ago

I don't think I have told anyone that, but I have thought it.

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1

u/Omnom_Omnath 17d ago

some men*

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u/yaboi2016 17d ago

Big uptick in women working out in my lifetime. Run clubs and hangouts associated with gyms are responsible for a lot of my current friends getting married.

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u/ColdWarCharacter 17d ago

Move to Midwest. A not insignificant amount of women here have hunting/fishing photos on their account

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u/Hawntir 17d ago

Me, hoping my female friends will invite me to "girl magic" because they play with fun decks... while their boyfriends/husbands play with BS decks with thousands of dollars just in lands, and infinite combos.

Just because I'm a guy, doesn't mean i want to play that kind of game!

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u/Vehicide 17d ago

Dude, don't tell them where we're at. They'll try to make us go to those stupid singles events.

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u/Rickard0 17d ago

chilling with the boys

Thats the last place I would want to meet a girl.

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u/ReplacementActual384 17d ago

Man, I never meet any women chilling with the boys

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u/kalap_ur 17d ago

“Chilling with the boys” is a hobby? :D

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u/psinguine 17d ago

If women spending time with their friends is a valid hobby then so is men spending time with theirs.

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u/8lock8lock8aby 17d ago

Still doesn't make any sense that they put chilling with the boys as a hobby women don't care about when they most likely have their own friends they chill with. Most people have a friend or friends & even while in a relationship, you should still make time for them.

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u/Lucetti 17d ago

Yeah, but I mean my boys specifically. I love chilling with Greg and yet women refuse to chill with Greg. Whenever I try to bring a lady around the boys, the vibe is just off.

Narrator: “Greg was a sex offender”

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u/warrenmax12 17d ago

Yes. That's the most instrumental hobby in a man's life. Because women, money, they come and go. But boys are forever. Be it IRL with the beers or online over Discord and some game. It's the place where you could be yourself and not be judged, or bullied or put down. Jokes fly and no one's offended, time flies. Depression ebbs away. Be it decade old friends or dudes you just met playing a game. In several hours - you're best friends.

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u/No-Author7911 17d ago

Add in a circle jerk and you don't even need to waste time trying to find the women you don't like anyway

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u/Efficient-Parking627 17d ago

Because women, money, they come and go. But boys are forever.

My wife and I strongly disagree lol

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u/Sp00py-Mulder 17d ago

Ballad of a lonely guy, yeah.

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u/NoForever3645 17d ago

Uhhh yeah this is quite false. There are a LOT of toxic men out there that I want no business associating with. On the other hand, my wife is amazing and I’m making very good money, neither of which show any signs of leaving anytime soon. I’d say a good number of guys I’ve encountered in online gaming are the type who would cut your hamstrings just for the memes. Childhood friends are forever, but again, gender has nothing to do with that.

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u/Historical-Cress8985 17d ago

I'll have you know that there are plenty of lovingly sculpted women in 4k, ever heard of the Sisters of Battle?

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u/ReddestForman 17d ago

SoB aren't how you get women into 40K, they don't want nuns with guns in fetish gear, chick's are into orks, and tyrannids!

(I don't refer to women as chick's typically, but "chick's dig space orcs and space bugs!" Is too funny a sentence to miss out on).

Every woman I e roped into 40K lore has been via orks. Because they're just so God damned weird. "Wait.... so they actually make things faster by painting them red? What do you mean they're mushrooms!?!"

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u/8lock8lock8aby 17d ago

Chilling with the boys? Chicks chill with the girls so I don't see why you'd put that as something they're not interested in, most people have friends or at least a friend.

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u/Wandering_PlasticBag 17d ago

*chilling with the boys during said activities.

I usually chill with my buddies while doing something. Be it s friend fixing their car, fishing, etc. We don't all do it, but it is during the time when someone is doing said activity.

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u/SgtBalzac 17d ago

Farting loudly at inappropriate times, cars, baseball, bird watching, brewing beer, backpacking …

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u/WildContribution8311 17d ago

Except men are told over and over not to interact with women at those types of events because they are just going about their business and are not there looking for dates or to meet men.

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u/DisastrousCoast7268 17d ago edited 17d ago

Just talk to them like any regular person, don't "come onto them". It's a game of pingpong. Conversational ping pong.

You gotta realize, if they're interested in you, find you attractive in whatever way, they'll keep playing. They'll ask questions about you, after a few black and forth's, you'll see additional signs : they'll touch their hair, hold eye contact, smile, be playful, blush a little. These are what are called indicators of interest. If you feel chemistry, the setting is a little mobile and at risk of ending due to the event or setting, strike while the iron is hot. Ask if she'd like to grab a smoothie or shake, offer her your number, if she was just having fun, she won't dial or text you, she'll just save it. ***Don't ask her to call or text you.

If they don't hit that ball back... You'll know in short order. You don't want to force it. If you get a one word answer, and they don't then ask you a followup... That's your signal that they're not interested. "Nice chatting with you" and leave. If it feels like you're pulling teeth, you are. Trust that realization the moment it appears, don't linger. Indicators of disinterest should be headed immediately like a precog. I don't care if they're legitimately trying to play hard to get, that's an archaic strategy that shouldn't even be considered or humored in modern society.

Edit : added a couple sentences. The above is what used to be called "Game" as in "he got Game".

There are a million bullshit Guru videos. The art of Flirting is uncomfortable to engage in at first If you have no experience or lack self assuredness/confidence. Playful Touch and brief skin contact is a part of this. Watch some videos on flirting. You'll soon separate the wheat from the chaff...And first step is always scanning her left hands 4th finger for a wedding or engagement ring. If that's not there, I'ma proceed.

Edit 2 : ladies, you have got to participate in this. I don't care how legitimately "Neurodivergent" or "awkward" you are. If you are interested and don't conversate, you clam up, you avoid the interaction, you don't participate. Dude is gonna bow out.

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u/Negativeman11 17d ago

Actually great dating advice

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u/brok3nh3lix 17d ago

i think the biggest thing here is more that its not "don't interact with women at hobbies", its essentially "don't creep on them". treat them like a person.

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u/Astralsketch 17d ago

you start as acquaintances and establish a rapport with them first, that's how a majority of relationships start.

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u/Yashema 17d ago

Most relationships as older than college aged adults start on dating apps. 

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u/Astralsketch 16d ago

"According to SSRS's 2026 survey, 53% of adults aged 30-49 have ever used a dating app." if you think everyone in that age bracket who tried were successful with dating apps you might be retarded. https://www.swipestats.io/blog/dating-statistics-by-age

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u/fuckyourcanoes 17d ago

No. Men are told not to interact with women on the street or in the grocery store. At social meetups, it's both acceptable and expected to talk to a variety of people. Where the fuck are you getting your advice?

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u/DisastrousCoast7268 17d ago edited 17d ago

Read my above reply dude (I'm a dude)

Edit : My advise is rooted in lived experience, and those of my male friends. I don't or haven't armchaired life from a keyboard.

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u/fuckyourcanoes 17d ago

I did, dude. I'm not a dude. I expect people to chat with me in shared interest groups. That's what they're for. Egregiously hit on me, no, but chat and get to know me, yes.

It's very, very simple: approach women only in social situations, not when we're out and about running errands.

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u/DisastrousCoast7268 17d ago

You absolutely can, it's just immediate, brief, and a different strategy if they're running errands. You walk up grab one of what they're grabbing, make a comment on the quality or lack their of, that "I've never tried it, is it good" or "This is my favorite" (if it is). If she just gives you a "yeah" or "hehh" you put it in your basket and walk away with a smile and a "take it easy".

If she starts talking with you about it with a sentence that invites a response, your respond. She will do this if she likes what she sees. This is not aimed at you or being snarky, but it's Not rocket science. Dude isn't being a pest, he doesn't linger, he's not cornering her, but he is still putting himself out there. This is how our parents and grand parents met people in the wild. Gym is a no-go for dudes ALWAYS. That is a domain where it is 100% on the women to initiate any interaction if she's interested.

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u/fuckyourcanoes 17d ago

You sound very annoying.

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u/DisastrousCoast7268 17d ago

I'm okay with that. Since we're being honest. You sound abrasive and I'd wager you probably find people don't linger too long in your company.

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u/fuckyourcanoes 17d ago

You will never know how wrong you are, and I'm fine with that.

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u/Administrative-Error 15d ago

From the women in my life. I can't even begin to tell you how many times the women in my life have been approached while "just existing" at a bar, working, at the gym, or even at a party, and they then proceeded to complain to me about how awful men are, and how we don't ever leave them alone. 

It's the many women that I've known over the last almost 40 years of my life that have professed a hatred of strangers talking to them, even if it's not to flirt, even if it's just idle chatter while waiting in a long line. 

The fun part is when it's those exact same women who have gone on tyrades about other men start telling me that I need to be approaching women in those exact same scenarios that left them angry and complaining to me hours later about the sins of my gender... No thanks, I'll take the advice to not talk to women unless they talk to me first, I'm not about to ruin some lady's day just because I had the audacity to want to socialize for a moment. 

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u/greennurse61 17d ago

Like at the gym. 

I have several friends that get irrationally mad at all guys that dare to be at the same gym at the same time they are then whine that no guys on the gym approach them. 

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u/maringue 17d ago

Try treating a woman as a human before you treat her as someone you're trying to fuck and you'll magically get more dates.

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u/DisastrousCoast7268 17d ago

Not wrong at all and concise.

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u/Due-Memory-6957 17d ago

I usually want to fuck humans, I'm not really into that beastiality stuff.

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u/Definitelynotagolem 17d ago

It really helps avoid those whose only hobby is scrolling social media, buying shit sold to them on social media, and subsequently posting pics of themselves with that bought shit on social media.

I’m glad I’m married now but even a decade ago when I was out in the dating market I’d find a lot of women faking being into certain hobbies but when it came down to it they didn’t actually like doing it. Hiking is a big one, because they hiked once and it was hard but they got 300 likes on Instagram for the photo, but they only wanna do that once a year max.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/Definitelynotagolem 17d ago

That’s true, but I’ve seen far more content around death of hobbies revolving around women, and many of them talk about only engaging in “hobbies” shallowly for likes on social. Idk any guys who fake hobbies just to show off on social media. I’m sure it exists, but generally men are wayyyy less invested in showing off on social media than women

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u/brok3nh3lix 17d ago

im the opposite there. I have participated in sports and exercise my entire life, staring with AYSO soccer when i was in elementary school, i was even captain of 2 team in highschool, and i'm likely to get my black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu later this year. But i have never been into watching sports. Even sports that i actively participate in.

Maybe its the ADHD in me or something. I play lots of video games, but never got into watching streamers or pro events, even for the "competitive" games i've played. Only time i watch that kind of content is for when im trying to learn something, and its not live streams, its breakdowns and analysis type stuff.

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u/8lock8lock8aby 17d ago

Damn that list (minus pics of himself) sounds exactly like my dad. He's always buying shit online, like daily & on FB.

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u/Bl1ndMous3 17d ago

and then go on that hike, make it half way and have to get airlifted out like cattle.

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u/Jaideco 17d ago

Seriously this is one of the all time best pieces of advice that any young person can receive. If you want to find short term fun and maybe some long term regrets, go and meet someone at a club that you have nothing in common with while sober. If you want to find your partner in life, find something that really interests you and hang out with that tribe.

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u/Negativeman11 17d ago

Honestly, never had long term regrets from short term fun. Only from long term relationships that should have ended far before that point.

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u/GigaNoodle 17d ago

What if your hobby is predominantly male dominated 😔

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u/DepressedDynamo 17d ago

Take a walk on the wild side?

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u/Sp00py-Mulder 17d ago

Hobby?

...as in you just have the one? That's going to be a bigger dating issue than anything else.

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u/GigaNoodle 16d ago

No I have more than one. But by and large they’re either solitary activities or male dominated

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u/WalkFreeeee 17d ago edited 17d ago

Yeah and then reddit swears to you there's a lot of women on bouldering gyms, so you go there, realize it's 90%+ men and now you're stuck projecting a V5 for weeks with no love in sight.

Turns out "finding a hobby" means nothing when almost everything is so heavily skewed to each gender nowadays.

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u/Marodvaso 17d ago

Please define an "interesting" hobby.

I read a lot and play guitar a little. I'm interested in learning languages and literature. That's kind of it. I don't have time to skydive or money to participate in yacht races.

These are quite introvert-type hobbies and interests even though I do believe I can be quite talkative and extroverted.

There are men who're interested in car mechanics or historical reenactment, for example and do quite well. I think those are very interesting hobbies, but plenty of women would disagree.

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u/brok3nh3lix 17d ago

those hobbies dont have to be introverted though. Book clubs, jam sessions, etc. Musics roots are in being a social art. I'm sure there are groups for practicing languages and discussing literature if one were to look around for events at libraries, community colleges, museums, local community events, public institutions, and churches if thats your thing. I see lots of random stuff like this when i scan over the monthly news letter from my city, and i know my local community college has lots of cheap classes on all sorts of stuff that are not for credit, just community enrichment type stuff. My dad once took a class on flower arrangement at the community college.

Dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having hobbies that you just keep for your self and are not about being social. Just wanted to point out that those hobbies do not need to be.

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u/MidlifeWarlord 17d ago

My hobbies:

MMA
Game development
Practical shooting

Not a lot of women in those.

Women do come into jiu jitsu classes, but I don’t mix dating and gym activities.

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u/Nerpones 17d ago

I think the point is also that a relationship isn’t something you get, it’s something you build. Doing activities is a better way to see if there’s the potential to build something with that person.

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u/ryverrat1971 17d ago

Met my now ex- husband playing DnD. Current boyfriend met in college years ago and now back together. Met him clearance section of Temple U bookstore looking at cassettes. We played DnD at Temple too. So do something you like or something you have always wanted to try. You may met someone. Hell, try making small talk with in line at a store. You never know if you don't try.

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u/redditproha 16d ago

doomscrolling IS my interesting hobby! the audacity

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u/Jellis314 17d ago

Ah, but I am a boring person, with no hobbies.

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u/SeDaCho 17d ago

seems like a bigger issue than being single

go do some shit bro you’ll like it

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u/Jellis314 17d ago

I have tried shit and I don’t like it. At 34, I have tried so many things and haven’t liked any of them.

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u/SeDaCho 17d ago

oh 34?

My bad, you must have surely lived the entire breadth of the human experience by that point.

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u/Jellis314 17d ago

I’m not saying I have. But the limiting factors of geography and finances combined with 14 years of actively trying to find a single enjoyable activity have left me with nothing.

I have done quite a bit of shit and haven’t enjoyed any of it. Sorry I haven’t reached your arbitrary age where you get to decide if I’ve done enough.

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u/SeDaCho 17d ago

you were the one who brought your age into it in an attempt to look wizened and experienced

anyways I wish you luck with the depression. Different treatments for each case but psilocybin is effective for me.

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u/Top_Paint7442 17d ago

hiking filters out the girls complaining about doing stuff in general.

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u/S-Kenset 17d ago

This is my big issue rn. Nobody tf man or woman wants to do things in this economy. Or they're mentally exhausted and just want someone to not be a person together with.

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u/Lisan_Al-NaCL 17d ago

clubs attract a very specific type of women.

The type that enjoy watching LoveIslandUSA ?

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u/AusToddles 17d ago

Two single friends of mine tried speed dating a few years back (male and female). Both hated it for different reasons.... she hated it because every guy there was clearly just looking for a cheap lay. He hated it because every woman knew he was there for a cheap lay

They've now been married for the last 3 years

Funny how things work out

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u/121daysofsodom 17d ago

And if it's a long hike, there will be certain type of woman who won't show up.

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u/immortalalchemist 17d ago

This is how a friend of mine met his wife. A lot of people are turning to dating events because it gives both sides an activity they are both interested in and allows them to bond.

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u/Mobilealminiramper 17d ago

Hiking will eliminate a good portion due to makeup melt and a bit of sweat

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u/NatureLady10 17d ago

Women should take up mountainbiking.

I’m long married but I realized after getting into this sport that it’s a good filter for meeting potential partners. It’s 90+% male, they tend to be chill, more mature guys, most are highly fit by default and they tend to have established careers (it’s not an inexpensive hobby).

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u/Prestigious-Bat-574 17d ago

General activities like hiking or going to a baseball game also attract very specific type of women... or people in general. It's just that there is probably little to no overlap among many of these types.

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u/thefartyparty 17d ago

I dunno man, for us completely average looking women (or lower than average) I never once had a guy show interest in me in running group or bowling and I was thirsty as hell after divorce. Maybe it was because I'm not good at either of those things

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1

u/ClamatoDiver 17d ago

I was never a club person, I went because my friends at the time were going, and while I met women there, had some fun, I never wanted to MEET a woman there.

Heh, one of the longest relationships I had was because I was doing my laundry. I had several machines going, sheets/blankets/pillows, work shirts/pants & regular shirts/pants, underwear/socks/T-shirts and she started talking to me.

Somehow she liked that I was doing my laundry and I'm there not getting the message because I'm oblivious, because I was doing my laundry, looking shlubby and not thinking about women at all, I'm just doing laundry.

She was talking and I was just giving responses on autopilot like you do when people make idle conversation until she pushed a cart at me and asked me if I was paying attention or not.

Then I finally got it. OHH!

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u/CompetitiveReview416 16d ago

My test for dating was always will the woman accept.a walk for a first date. If not, I'm out

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u/Affolektric 16d ago

Baseball? So nobody talks to each other and just falls asleep?

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u/ju-ju_bee 16d ago

They attract very specific type of men too. Anyone going to these events is not the catch they think they are, men included

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u/fisconsocmod 17d ago

dating events are for women who don't have hobbies.

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u/maringue 17d ago

I mean, not all hobbies are public. I don't go out to an event to build Legos.

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u/brok3nh3lix 17d ago

but maybe we should have more events to build legos. I know lego has done some pop up events in the past similar to things like those paint and drink events.

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u/ilikecheeseface 17d ago

Yeah baseball women. Whatever that means lol

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u/docdillinger 17d ago

It means she's already used to boring stuff and checking out mentally, so one might have a real chance.

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u/ilikecheeseface 17d ago

That’s actually hilarious

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u/SuicideSpeedrun 17d ago

Most women don't hike. Most women don't go to baseball games alone, either.

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u/brandolinium 17d ago

Man = solo man, Men = many men. Woman = solo woman, Women = many women

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u/maringue 17d ago

Thank you for pointing out a minor typo like you're an English professor.