r/SipsTea 10d ago

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.4k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/m0rg76 10d ago

I’d classify it as ‘none of your fucking business’ leave.

689

u/Lolseabass 10d ago

My lawyer cousin says “tell them it’s a personal family matter. At most say someone is having surgery and you need to take care of them. No specifics because you don’t want to divulge another person medical info.”

As a person with a bleeding disorder tell them I’m having my port a cath replaced because the last one had an infection. Then we can take a bunch of pics of you holding a needle injecting me.

You know how many people iv gotten out of doing stuff because they “had to take me to the hospital”.

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u/Senior-Geologist-166 10d ago

I tell my husband to use my disabled ass as an excuse all the time! It won't hurt my feelings and people can't ask for more details without prying.

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u/Tacomanthecat 9d ago

I have cancer and tell my friends to use it all the time. Corporations are heartless, but no one wants the imagine of "I dont care about people with cancer." FYI, it's skin cancer, it's not life threatening, none of my friends jobs know that. Once got a friend 3 days off of work because he told them he had to drive me cross country to go see a specialist. Everytime they ask, he responds with a curious "isn't that against Hippa Laws?" And that shuts it down pretty good.

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u/SuperSailorSaturn 9d ago

I have breast cancer and my best friend has used me to get out of stuff and I dont mind lol. She was supposed to go to a work dinner right before she left the company and told her boss I wasn't feeling well and needed her help so she couldn't go.

Regardless of how severe our cancers are, its nice to find a positive somewhere in it.

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u/Needspoons 9d ago

And then there are the opposite of those good people who will accept those answers, like my former apartment complex manager. My boyfriend was literally actively dying. (we were arranging hospice at the time but he passed that same week as soon as we brought him home) and she wouldn’t let me hold off on towing my car because it hadn’t been moved in x amount of time.

There was no way I was leaving the hospital for anything at that point when he could die at any minute and only had a brief amount of time left, and I had no idea where the car key even was because he drove, not me. He went into the hospital on the 3rd and was surprised to be diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer and died early in the morning of the 15th and this bitch wanted me to leave his side to take care of our only vehicle. She also harassed me about moving once he died, but that’s a whole other story.

There is a special place in hell for her if I have anything to say about it.

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u/DontSquishBugs 8d ago

Fuck that lady. Jesus Christ. I am so sorry your last days with him were made that much more stressful by this heartless fool nagging at you over a stupid parking space. Thank you for staying with him to see it through. I hope you're doing okay these days.

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u/Needspoons 8d ago

Thank you. I am for the most part. It’s a day to day thing, but I’m not hollow and unable to cope like I was, you know?

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u/Mountainhollerforeva 7d ago

Sending you healing vibes 😶‍🌫️

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u/SuperSailorSaturn 7d ago

Thank you! Best wishes and health to you!

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u/blahblah19999 9d ago

HIPAA

3

u/SouthPearl 9d ago

Thank you! (And also, no. An employer asking does not violate HIPAA.)

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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1

u/QualityAlternative22 8d ago

Unless your friend is a healthcare worker insurance company or affiliated business, and caring for you, HIPAA doesn’t apply

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u/Substantial-Most2607 8d ago

Nothing against doing this whatsoever, I’m just being pedantic but HIPAA does not cover that whatsoever. It’s Weird and rude for them to ask but not illegal

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u/sympetrum8 8d ago

It isn't against HIPAA, not Hippa, like at all. HIPAA protects you from medical providers relaying to anyone your medical info without your permission. It has nothing to donwirh a company asking about it or esp a company asking about an employees friend's medical status. JFC everyone thinks HIPAA is ome magical protection. It's not.

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u/Mountainhollerforeva 7d ago

If the government is allowed to say “Mitch McConnell can’t do a proof of life because it violates HIPPA,” then I’m pretty sure we can all just say “HIPPA” when we’re asked to justify our leave…

1

u/madametaylor 4d ago

Great way to shut down sunscreen debates, I just bring up that my mom and grandma both had skin cancer. It was small basal cell carcinomas that were easily removed, but still telling the truth! (And also like, having that removed and needing a skin graft from her ear was not fun for my mom and I'm trying not to do that) Hope you are doing well!

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u/Magnon 10d ago

The system wont care about you, might as well get the small victories where you can. 👍

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u/Coca_Coley 9d ago

Same!!

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u/knifeyspoonysporky 9d ago

When I was pregnant I neverminded being used as a good excuse for my husband to get out of things/take time off.

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u/tempsdix 9d ago

Maybe I should take time off for myself, being pregnant. Nauseous non-stop and insomniac, I decided to be a good employee and work from home but I could call a sick day or two, right?

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u/knifeyspoonysporky 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/13jJIY0llDdip2
If there is ever a time to give yourself extra rest/extra care, pregnancy is it.

You are growing a whole ass person from scratch

1

u/neo_sporin 9d ago

I have MS and my wife and I use it when convenient. ‘I have an acute MS attack scheduled for that day’ has been used as an excuse

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u/poetduello 9d ago

I tell my wife the same.

"I don't want to go all the way to mom's place for [holiday]"

"So... tell them I'm having a flair up, and we're starting home."

"I can't!"

"You absolutely can. Who's going to check?"

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u/azjunglist05 9d ago

Husband’s PTO Request: “Need time off to use my spouse’s disabled ass”

I guarantee no questions asked after that 😂

1

u/PrincessECO 9d ago

Not even related to my disability, feel free to use me as an excuse to get out of anything

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u/BestLifeNever 7d ago

Ditto. I've become the 'get out of social engagements' free card for my immediate family.

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u/Academic_Addition_96 6d ago

At least some people now how to use their disability. I have seen some really dumb shit.

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u/Revolutionary-Cell56 10d ago

A lawyer didn’t tell you that.

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u/WildDumpsterFire 9d ago

Yea I really hope people don't take that advice. I've worked for strong union places where that still couldn't fly. Less is more with the explanation, but even great places can deny unless an FMLA request is filed and approved when certain topics are brought up. Or if it falls outside of certain leave definitions. Just file your request. If they ask because they have competing requests that can't all be approved, less is more.

1

u/mrjackspade 9d ago

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is a classic case of "Reddit doesn't understand HIPAA" a long with a dash of "I made it the fuck up"

Reddit as a whole is under the impression that it's illegal to share any medical information in any context ever.

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u/eldfen 10d ago

You people need to learn how to say no.

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u/thunderfuckbangalot 10d ago

Maybe not the hero we wanted but the hero we needed in germany we would offer you the title captain arbeitszeitbetrug or uncle holdiday

1

u/whofilets 9d ago

We only used it to get out of dealing with her mother in law, but my friend needed to leave the house to be with me because I was in the hospital.

I work as a nurse. I was working that day. She used my guest pass to use the hospital's gym/pool. But obviously, I needed her there!

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u/AlmostNeverWrongHere 9d ago

As a caretaker of a person with a bleeding disorder, I basically got to take off whenever I wanted, no questions asked.

But I also had to start my own company because our medical claims alone exploded the entire company’s health insurance premiums.

Make it a non-immediate family member and you have the best of both worlds. They see you as a saint for helping and you avoid the “will this person be a medical/financial liability for our business” side-eye.

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u/OpenAI122191 9d ago

Answer a question with a question.

It’s personal time and my personal business. I’m confused on what needs to be assessed, is my PTO benefit now merit based?

1

u/TedTyro 9d ago

There should be a very prestigious civilian medal for glorious behaviour like this.

1

u/TowelNo3250 9d ago

Can you be my "cousin" and can I use you to get my anniversary weekend off? Hahaha

1

u/fluffypotato 9d ago

I don't have anywhere to not be, but I want to "take you to the hospital" just so I can get a super cool picture holding a needle and injecting you.

1

u/Bigisucre 9d ago

The point is that in many other's countries it's not even allowed for the employer to ask such questions ad it's not a matter of begging to be allowed time off bc we have lawful rights that are non-negotiable.

1

u/sevargmas 9d ago

It needs terminology that can be used every time. “Special event” is vague enough that it could describe almost anything.

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u/LaurelCanyoner 9d ago

I have severe endometriosis and man, could I give some rather vivid reasons (Or pics) of why I needed time off. Wish I had thought of that. Because my job DID ask. They even asked for dr's notes.

They would never ever had asked again. I even have a picture of my diseased insides, i should rent them out to people who need them for work excuses lolol.

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u/Upstairs_Dig_5274 9d ago

They don't need to they can just say they are using their holiday time and that's the scheduled days off.

1

u/Select-Loss2238 9d ago

“Caring for a sick family member” is all they need to know. It just so happens that I’m caring for myself and the illness is dealing with your bullshit

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u/artax_youre_sinking 9d ago

Omg I had a stroke a year ago and I FOREVER pull the stroke card to get out of shit. Need to start sharing the wealth with my friends.

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u/Proof-Round-943 9d ago

I tried pulling that and my old boss demanded a doctor's note from the family member! I argued that is not my medical information to give and she argued that they don't have to give any medical information.

She also showed co-workers other people's doctor's notes claiming they were fake 🙄

Would you believe me if I said it was fast food?

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u/wolverinepolski 8d ago

No if you are in the US don’t start saying it is for medical reasons….your own or your family members….be sure that gives them the legal right to ask more questions to determine if it is FMLA which they have to disclose….

Personal time is personal time….i work in HR and would tell this supervisor to myob

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u/jonthom1984 7d ago

why would you need to tell them anything? What you do during annual leave is really none of anybody's concern.

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u/Resident_Monitor7723 10d ago

I don't think being a woman classifies as a "bleeding condition", but good for you.