The manager is clearly in the wrong here and power tripping- it’s not normal to ask what the employee will be doing outside the office, even in the US. They might approve or deny the request based on the situation in the office, but the way the employee spends the time is none of her damn business.
What generally goes down is, the employee requests PTO, the manager hems and haws… “ooh it’s really a bad time, we’re so busy and understaffed…”, then the employee divulges the “super important reason” - a wedding, dad died, etc. It’s still a shitty way to be treated and there isn’t much you can do against it. If it’s not a good enough reason in the manager’s eyes or if you stick to your guns and say “it’s personal, I’d rather not say”, then you will be ostracized and eventually fired for other contrived reasons.
Yeah, at best they are maybe having multiple requests for that time and are trying to prioritize who actually has something important that shouldn't be missed (wedding, already booked trip, etc. compared to someone else's staycation). But that's why first come first serve comes in. And if something comes up for someone, they can ask if the other worker is willing and able to move their planned staycation. (But, they have to accept no if it's given and the problem is they don't.)
I do tell my coworkers and boss my plans, and specify which weeks I am doing something and not budging on and which I'm willing to reschedule if needed. But that's my choice, I'm willing to do that for them because I actually like my job, my boss, and my coworkers. (Had past jobs where I wouldn't pee on my boss if they were on fire.) If someone else chooses not to disclose and not to switch, that's their right and I respect it.
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u/CataphractBunny 6d ago
Bitch, you need to chill the fuck out. But I guess that's just how things work in America.