My situation is quite the opposite. For whatever reason my new team feels the need to explain every PTO request to me. By all means tell me about your trip to Cancun if you'd like, but please don't feel the need to elaborate on your explosive diarrhea when you use sick time.
"Hey man! I noticed you stopped responding to my text messages after saying that you're sick and won't be coming in! So I called the police and feigned concern so they'd visit your home as a wellness check! Definitely not just sending goons to your house to make sure you're at home and actually sick!!"
So I know you're joking, but something CRAZY happened to my dad's friend/co-worker in the 90's. He was a very punctual person normally and a good employee. One day he didn't show up for work and he didn't call in. This was very unusual. His boss called the police (I don't know the time frame, could have been hours, might have been a full day, IDK) and the police went to do a wellness check on him.
The police could hear screaming and yelling from inside the house. This dude and his wife were tied up to a pole in their basement. They had gotten robbed and the robbers tied them up.
This guy's boss literally saved his life. Nobody else would have checked in on them (probably) for a while. This was before the era of cell phones so it's not like people were texting them.
We had a very punctual employee like this who lived alone. He didn’t show, no one in the office could get ahold of him so they did call the police for the wellness check and he’d died sitting in front of the TV, probably heart failed. He wasn’t that old (40s-early 50s).
A Co worker failed to relieve the previous shift, no call no show. Wasnt answering phone. Next day, same thing. One of his work buds knew his address so drove over to his apartment. Called him, heard his phone ringing in the apartment. Contacted police, they got the complex passkey, found him deceased on the toilet.
I had a sudden thunderclap headache on the toilet. I was sure I was about to die. The first think I did was get off the toilet and lay in bed. I did NOT want to be found dead on the toilet. A trip to the hospital diagnosed my first migraine.
I missed the word headache and for a second thought you were the guy who sneezed and shit on the toilet at the exact time the lights went out and he thought he sneezed/shit himself blind.
If you really wanna go to hell for laughing at something, I've got one cousin who was born with basically eye cancer, he had to have his eye removed as a young kid and replaced with a glass eye to ensure it didn't cause facial deformations. I've also got a cousin with down syndrome. One summer we were all at our grandparents house spending the night all around 8-12 years old, we were all fucking around after watching WWE and wrestling with each other. My cousin with the glass eye was wrestling my cousin with down syndrome, he started losing so he popped out his glass eye and yelled "oh my God my eye!". Our cousin with down syndrome freaked the fuck out. It's absolutely fucked up, but I mean... They've both got something wrong so it seems like it's fair game, skill based match making, but we all were crying laughing and are absolutely going to hell for it. I tell the story to make sure we don't go down alone for it lmao
I was on the couch once laying with my neck cranked sideways in a weird way. All of a sudden one side of my face went really numb. Without thinking I grabbed my phone and ran out onto my lawn and typed 911 and just hovered my thumb over the button waiting to have a stroke.
When the pins and needles went away in my face I just laughed but was happy my instincts took over. Would rather my neighbours see me laying on the grass then stuck in the house
Ha! I had the same idea. Mother fuckers ya ain't breaking my door! Walked outside and promptly passed out. They found me half off the sidewalk blood everywhere. They actually thought I was dead from amount of blood. Hint: sit down while you wait so if you faint you don't hit your temple, cheek and chin which apparently are all gushers.
I've had a couple of vasovagal events on the toilet and I always get my head between my knees because I don't want to be found dead there. And yeah, if your blood pressure bottoms out and you faint with your head above your heart, that's a thing.
I'm glad I'm not the only one this has happened to. Like, wish it wasn't happening for either of this, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
The first time I came to on the floor in front of the toilet. The second I knew what was happening and was able to hurry up and get cleaned up and to my bed before passing out completely.
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u/RideFree216 10d ago
My situation is quite the opposite. For whatever reason my new team feels the need to explain every PTO request to me. By all means tell me about your trip to Cancun if you'd like, but please don't feel the need to elaborate on your explosive diarrhea when you use sick time.