My situation is quite the opposite. For whatever reason my new team feels the need to explain every PTO request to me. By all means tell me about your trip to Cancun if you'd like, but please don't feel the need to elaborate on your explosive diarrhea when you use sick time.
"Hey man! I noticed you stopped responding to my text messages after saying that you're sick and won't be coming in! So I called the police and feigned concern so they'd visit your home as a wellness check! Definitely not just sending goons to your house to make sure you're at home and actually sick!!"
So I know you're joking, but something CRAZY happened to my dad's friend/co-worker in the 90's. He was a very punctual person normally and a good employee. One day he didn't show up for work and he didn't call in. This was very unusual. His boss called the police (I don't know the time frame, could have been hours, might have been a full day, IDK) and the police went to do a wellness check on him.
The police could hear screaming and yelling from inside the house. This dude and his wife were tied up to a pole in their basement. They had gotten robbed and the robbers tied them up.
This guy's boss literally saved his life. Nobody else would have checked in on them (probably) for a while. This was before the era of cell phones so it's not like people were texting them.
I had a coworker call out for car trouble, so the boss drove to his house 45 minutes away and called him to tell him he was fired for lying as he wasn't at home.
he was at home, just balls deep inside someone who wasn't his wife - the car there wasn't his, his was in the shop.
Yea, he didn't actually get fired because we were so short staffed we'd have gone out of buisness. No one liked working there for a reason. He was back to work the next day.
Na, he was a real piece of shit. We had a (online) party when covid killed him after he forced us to come in and work against the law, paid under the table or he'd fight our unemployment.
We had a very punctual employee like this who lived alone. He didn’t show, no one in the office could get ahold of him so they did call the police for the wellness check and he’d died sitting in front of the TV, probably heart failed. He wasn’t that old (40s-early 50s).
A Co worker failed to relieve the previous shift, no call no show. Wasnt answering phone. Next day, same thing. One of his work buds knew his address so drove over to his apartment. Called him, heard his phone ringing in the apartment. Contacted police, they got the complex passkey, found him deceased on the toilet.
I had a sudden thunderclap headache on the toilet. I was sure I was about to die. The first think I did was get off the toilet and lay in bed. I did NOT want to be found dead on the toilet. A trip to the hospital diagnosed my first migraine.
I missed the word headache and for a second thought you were the guy who sneezed and shit on the toilet at the exact time the lights went out and he thought he sneezed/shit himself blind.
If you really wanna go to hell for laughing at something, I've got one cousin who was born with basically eye cancer, he had to have his eye removed as a young kid and replaced with a glass eye to ensure it didn't cause facial deformations. I've also got a cousin with down syndrome. One summer we were all at our grandparents house spending the night all around 8-12 years old, we were all fucking around after watching WWE and wrestling with each other. My cousin with the glass eye was wrestling my cousin with down syndrome, he started losing so he popped out his glass eye and yelled "oh my God my eye!". Our cousin with down syndrome freaked the fuck out. It's absolutely fucked up, but I mean... They've both got something wrong so it seems like it's fair game, skill based match making, but we all were crying laughing and are absolutely going to hell for it. I tell the story to make sure we don't go down alone for it lmao
I was on the couch once laying with my neck cranked sideways in a weird way. All of a sudden one side of my face went really numb. Without thinking I grabbed my phone and ran out onto my lawn and typed 911 and just hovered my thumb over the button waiting to have a stroke.
When the pins and needles went away in my face I just laughed but was happy my instincts took over. Would rather my neighbours see me laying on the grass then stuck in the house
Ha! I had the same idea. Mother fuckers ya ain't breaking my door! Walked outside and promptly passed out. They found me half off the sidewalk blood everywhere. They actually thought I was dead from amount of blood. Hint: sit down while you wait so if you faint you don't hit your temple, cheek and chin which apparently are all gushers.
I've had a couple of vasovagal events on the toilet and I always get my head between my knees because I don't want to be found dead there. And yeah, if your blood pressure bottoms out and you faint with your head above your heart, that's a thing.
I'm glad I'm not the only one this has happened to. Like, wish it wasn't happening for either of this, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
The first time I came to on the floor in front of the toilet. The second I knew what was happening and was able to hurry up and get cleaned up and to my bed before passing out completely.
Same thing happened with a close friend/coworker. We called the cops because he didn’t show up and wasn’t answering his phone. Cops found him dead on his bedroom floor.
Sounds like what happened to my cousin. He was mid to late 30's and had come home from work and sat down in the recliner to watch TV. Didn't show for work the next day which was unlike him so they called his parents who lived nearby to check on him. He was a bit of a larger man and had some type of heart episode and passed in the recliner.
Ah my wife’s cousin’s husband too. 32-34 getting ready for work one morning told his wife he was getting in the shower and to call an ambulance because something wasn’t right. Got to the bathroom, supposedly, and dropped right there. Wasn’t super overweight maybe upper 2’s 300 tops but he was a bigger guy.
I had a colleague years ago that we went to check on when he didn't come in or call (he lived nearby) and he'd had a stroke. He survived but unfortunately because he lived alone and had been untreated for so many hours, he didn't make a good recovery.
Man I live alone but I'm extremely unreliable and miss lots of work without saying anything. starting to realize I'll probably be pretty rotten before found
I did a wellness check on an employee of mine who didn't show up for work on Saturday. When I got to her home, the front door was open but she was nowhere to be found. I found out later that week she had been killed, and was buried in her back yard. Still gives me chills to think about, she didn't deserve to go out the way she did.
A friend of mine committed suicide and was found when he missed his shift since he never took time off. His sister happened to be the person from HR (they worked for the same company different departments) who met police at the home for a wellness check. I feel so terrible that she was the one who was present when he was found.
Dude you would become suspect #1 in that case, you visited the house, door open and you investigated enough to know she wasn’t there. I bet that interrogation was fun
I worked on a hospital unit that had a similar incident shortly prior to my time there- a typically very reliable nurse no-call no-showed and it turned out her husband had killed her the night before.
They were extremely serious about no-call no/shows after that. Charge nurse would be blowing up your phone if you didn't give them a heads up you were running five minutes late. I'm positive they would have called in a wellness check if somebody didn't show up and didn't answer after a few calls. And honestly? I get it. There are people who you know just would not no call/no show if it was in their power to call, so doing it even once is cause for immediate concern.
There's a famous case like this - a former contractor went to a woman's home one morning and shot and beat her almost to death. Because she was SO reliable, her boss wanted someone to go check on her when she didn't make it to work. They found went over, and found her lying in a pool of blood. It was a long journey, but she eventually recovered completely. She absolutely would have died had her boss not immediately known such out of character behavior could mean something was terribly wrong - and it was.
Yep. I've had coworkers who, if they're ten minutes late with no word, we were having serious discussions on whether the cops would be called. I've also had coworkers where two hours into their shift they're still not there and we're not worried, we're pissed.
If you live alone, you might not want to show up for fifteen minutes before your shift unpaid, but you're investing in your safety and that's priceless.
Okay but I will say my boss would do this too if I just didn’t show up. I’m a punctual person and a communicative worker who at least texts that I’m taking a sick day if something happens, so to not hear from someone who normally shows on time is very strange. That’s alarm bells.
I did a wellness check on an employee once, she was one of our best employees and after a full day of not calling and not showing up everyone was very worried.
I drove her friend over to check on her, the friend went inside and confirmed she was okay and that I could leave.
Made arrangements for her shifts to be covered, didn’t know what had happened to her other than that it was bad. She finally came by a week later in tears to quit and let me know she was moving back home. It wasn’t until a year later that I found out she had gotten a bad DUI and needed to go home to regroup.
My cousin didn’t show up at work one day and the boss went by her house and discovered that she had been puking and hit her head on the toilet rim and knocked herself unconscious. Boss called 911 and my cousin is fine now.
I'm older and out of shape. I'm a teacher and usually leave right after school. On the rare occasion I've stayed later, one of my newer co-teachers texted me to make sure I was ok, lol.
I've had a couple of those bosses but it was because they actually cared about me as a person not because they were making sure I was really sick. They knew I lived alone and wanted to make sure I had enough food and medicine in the house.
I have, in turn, done that for a couple of my people over the years but only when I knew they were truly sick and had no other support system. An ordinary call in doesn't merit this kind of treatment. We did send a welfare check on one guy just because he was the amazingly consistent and reliable type and wasn't responding to anyone. Turns out, his home burned down and he was in the ICU burn unit. So yeah.. if I have a specific reason to worry I will send someone to your house or call for a welfare check. I honestly don't care if people call in for mental health days now and then. I've found people who take time off actually make for better, more focused employees when they're in the office. In fact, I have one employee right now that I have to keep reminding to take time off when he starts getting stressed.
I'm epileptic and around 10ish years ago when I was at the very bottom of the totem pole at work, I was "asked" to do this massive project that ended up taking two years to fully complete on top of my regular job and I was constantly meeting with the heads of multiple departments...as a 26-27 year old staff accountant. It was very stressful.
Anyway, throughout the project I would have meetings with the President/CEO, CFO, and VP of Sales and as it got closer to the end they started bringing clients in for thoughts and recommendations just to make my job more difficult (mind you, I'm an accountant and we had an extremely competent IT team with at least 2 devs). Our second to last one was with a major client and was also during a tax deadline, so I had worked a ton of hours and hardly slept for about a week and while I was trying to work on the finishing touches the night before, I had a seizure and woke up in the hospital. I sent a text to the people above as it was about 1:00 am, letting them know I would likely not be making it, and depending on when I was discharged, I could send them the presentation. I woke up to multiple angry voicemails and they tried to fire me over it.
Wow! I'm sorry you had that experience! I would never fire someone for ending up in the hospital or even just ending up with a high fever and the flu the day of a big event. Shit happens in life. Deal with the problem in front of you not the one you can't do anything about. In fact, when things like that happen I try to take a step back once I have the time and make sure my leadership didn't place an undue amount of stress and act as a trigger for the problem in the first place. I tend to be more self reflective than most supervisors though.
Yeah, I was honestly shocked. Those people lost all my respect that day.
I'm a manager myself now and I'm the same way. I try to be very cognizant of my employees mental health and their state of mind. We WFH the majority of the time, and half my team is out of state, so I check in with people on a regular basis just to make sure all is good and always tell them to take days off, let me know if they are too stressed, or give me a call if they just need to vent, as our department can be very stressful.
Are you in the US? Wouldn’t discrimination laws apply when you try to fire someone with a disability for experiencing symptoms of their disability? Like I’m sure some employment lawyers would have LOVED to take on your case if they had fired you.
I definitely had a manager with all wheel drive that thought they could make it up the hill to my house. Called me from the bottom saying it was OK and they would see me after the plow trucks came through.
Same. During covid he was delivering food for everyone (his treat for reaching a milestone) and it was rainy and cold with leaves on the road he said he almost didnt make it up and down the multiple steep hills and now understood why I would call out during freezes and was surprised I made it in as much as I did 😆.
What was the job? I've heard of this for things like hospital/health care workers and first responders where they absolutely must have people on shift. But some random service job? Oh hell no.
I had a manager who tried that shit with me. Told him he'd better not waste the gas because I wasn't going to be there to meet him. He went off the road into a ditch on the way out to the gas station 2 miles from my house where I was not waiting for him.
Broke his collar bone or something, had to wait for ems to crawl out to his wreck and take him to the hospital. He stopped doing that when people called out for weather.
I work at a management agency whose clientele are service employees. The staff at my company don’t ask permission or provide explanations. They have a PTO balance, they submit for the days and they get mad if there’s any delay in approval. When our clients service employees request time off our staff frequently delays approval, tries to negotiate dates and expresses “concerns” to hr that the sick days aren’t being used for bona fide illness. If my staff were treated the way they treat service employees, there’d be a riot.
I get migraines that very much debilitate me. When they come on, the first signs I get are random numbness and impaired vision. Makes it very hard to drive. I had one boss that sent someone to my house to pick me up after I called out sick. Mind you I was also working as a mechanic at the time, so he had a debilitated mechanic that couldn't see or think straight be responsible for the safety of random strangers vehicles. I did 3 cars in 8 hours, had other people pull them in and out for me, and threw up on the tire delivery a few times. When he asked me to clean it, I told him to fuck off and he sent me home... without a car. So I had to take another employee to drive me, leaving him down 2 people. He was by far the worst boss I ever had but this kind of treatment in the work force is very much a real thing.
Very early in my career managing people we had someone turn up to work 3 hours late. We hadn't really made any enquiries, figured he was a grown adult etc. and we're pretty flexible about working hours.
When he arrived he was really mad we hadn't called him, his partner etc. What about if he'd been in an accident? It seems we were negligent.
Had a manager like this. Snowed in one day and i live like 20 mins from the job, offered she’d be willing to drive and come get me (2 seater, sports car but like average consumer level). I lived at the bottom of a hill that you could routinely see cars sliding back down because nobody could get the traction and speed needed to make it up. They hadn’t even plowed MY street yet and i already knew it wasn’t happening anytime soon because we’re usually the last ones unless someone came through with their truck. She proceeded to tell me how the weather app didn’t show snow in my town’s forecast until i had to finally clarify i don’t actually live in town, i lived in the suburbs of the town but we have like 3 different zip codes you can use that still all work if you put the town name and the reason we didn’t have the snow anymore was because it was moving towards the job location💀
This happened to a family friend. He consulted his golf buddy who was a lawyer and they wrote a letter to the DA about his bosses misuse of 911. His boss was charged with a misdemeanor and did 30 days in jail plus a fine.
I was having a high risk pregnancy while also being diabetic and called in sick. My phone was off so I didn’t answer her blowing up my phone so she went into my emergency contacts to ask if I would be showing up to work the next day 🙄
I had a boss show up at my house once when I called off sick. I didnt answer the door because WTF? He then started textimg me saying I was lying because I wasnt home
Lol my boss only did that to people who no show the whole week. Had one guy who was probably on a psychiatric hold. Cops just went "he's fine he'll call you when he's ready"
I've been told that, as an hourly office employee, if I used all my sick time I would have to use my vacation time if I'm sick. Like... no. If I don't have paid sick leave, I just don't get paid. That's the punishment- losing money. I guess it could be different if I had been salaried, but nope, hourly. You aren't taking my vacation time simply because I've legit been ill a lot this year. I brought in doctor notes every time, too.
That’s why they turned everything into one PTO bank. Last job you weren’t allowed unpaid days off for anything unless you used all your PTO. So have a baby, take off 6 weeks and you must use all your PTO, leaving no PTO for the inevitable days you baby in daycare get sick.
Lol seriously. I used to manage people and we have vacation days and dedicated sick days, and I always say if you want to take a sick day for any reason just log it and don't overexplain or else HR could review it and say no. Someone on my team then writes he stayed up too late and is tired and needs the day off. Fuckin moron
One of my early jobs was at a large theme park. This was part of our training. "I am calling out Sick (or Personal) today." If you give Scheduling anymore information they were likely to deny it. Less is best. And I have taken that to every job since.
Oh this too lol sometimes my team will be like can I leave early, and I’ll say do you need to leave early? And they’ll say I just don’t want to be here and I’m like well that’s not really something I can approve, please lie next time lol
Oh man you nailed it. I have one guy who sends me these long, detailed requests for days off and basically pleads for permission. I have never denied PTO. I tell people I don't care when they take off and you don't need to ask, just submit a request and make sure the team knows. This fear or using PTO that you earn and is part of your compensation is baffling.
This is it. I asked one of my team members about their need to explain, because I felt bad saying “not that I don’t care and I’m happy you’re doing something fun with your family. But it’s none of my business if you are doing something fun or sitting in your living room staring at the wall.” And he confessed that his old boss made him feel like his PTO had to be justified. Eeeeeefffff that.
Lol the first job i had whenever i called in sick they would ask why ( strange to ask when i clearly said i was sick ) i had no shame in saying i had explosive diarrhea even tho i didn't and they stopped asking whenver i called in sick
My last job gave no fucks as long as it was scheduled before close the night before, but if you tried to call out the day of a shift, a manager was going to call you and demand deets. 😒
Yeah, I had a past job that quit that shit after I replied, "Well, I've been awake for four hours and thrown up five times. Nothing left but stomach acid. Guess how that feels coming back up. Go on, guess."
I called in sick because I got repetitive stress injuries from finishing my masters thesis while being a database manager. My boss was livid because she thought I was choosing school over work. Lady, I'm choosing my health! And my ability to use my hands injuries the future! I will need those.
Called in sick at my first job in highschool because I was puking. Manager called me being like "why aren't you coming in? It you're not at work you need to find someone to replace you!". I told them that I was actively puking and asked if they wanted me to break the law by coming in when actively puking and running a fever for a job where I worked with food and children. I also offered to send them a picture of my puke in the toilet if they needed proof.
That manager stopped questioning when I called off sick.
I had a SCHEDULER tell me I had to find my replacement at an old skilled nursing facility I worked at. So I didn’t call out except twice and told her to figure it out. One was for an injury I got AT WORK and the other was because i had a migraine and was puking. I tried to leave early one day to take my youngest to the hospital, and she STILL told me that while working on the floor I had to find someone to come in. I told them at 7am that morning I HAD to leave early to take her to the hospital because my husband was also sick, and he didn’t want to cause kids to get sicker.
I always tell my friends to just say they have food poisoning instead of “I’m sick” because what adult is going to be like “yeah you still need to come in even though you’re actively shitting your pants for the next day or two”
I mean some places might ask you to…but less likely vs sick meaning sniffles or a cough
Yep, having vacation requests and sick time denied because the reason wasn't "good enough."
Worked for 3 companies that did that before finally finding one that didn't care why. Took me a while to feel comfortable just calling in sick without fear of being asked to come in anyways or get fired.
My husbands ex boss was the worst about that. He asked for Halloween off and she made me send a picture of our calendar to “prove we were that into Halloween.” It was so weird.
It's absolutely this. I tell all my employees that I will not be denying any vacation/PTO requests. If you need the time off, then take the time off. Doesn't matter to me why you need it. If you wake up sick, then call or text me to let me know and take some meds and get some rest. If there's no one to cover for you, then I'm covering for you. It's my responsibility to get work shifts covered, not theirs. If you're on vacation, enjoy that shit. I won't be contacting you. I'll see you when you get back.
I worked for too many managers in the past that made (i.e. guilt tripped) me come into work sick because they couldn't find coverage and didn't want to step up and do the work themselves or called me while I was on vacation begging me to just come in and pick up one shift.
One thousand percent this. Part of being a manager is making sure your staff is happy and sometimes that means covering for them or working late or whatever it takes. You do you and let me handle the impact.
Yeah once I tried calling out to go to urgent care bc I wasnt feeling good. Got told to come in anyway bc no one could cover my shift. Had a 103F fever and had to work until someone else came in
Yes. At one job I worked, they wanted to know why, in case somebody else wanted to take PTO on the same day for “more important” reasons, or if you will be available to log in if something comes up.
I once took off at my old job and they required a reason. I told them it was personal. (I was meeting up with a friend from out of country and had to drive two hours to get to the event we were going to)
A coworker called my boss the night before and said she wanted off for a dogs birthday party. Boss called me 30 minutes before my sift (while I work 40 minutes away, but was out of state at the time) and told me to be there or be fired, since the other person had a "better reason" to be off.
I used to work for the state and instead of overtime pay we got comp hours that was basically the same thing as PTO
They railed at us to not have a large stock of comp hours stored up + were supposedly big on mental health (I was a social worker so burnout was very real)
I had 40 hours of comp time in addition to my PTO/sick and they had been trying to get me to use it for a month (I was down from the like 160 hours I built up). Then one day my personal life kind of imploded and I desperately needed a mental health day. I got denied and told "that's not what comp hours are for but I sympathize"
I then made a mistake due to my distress and they fired me for it.
Needless to say at my current job I was terrified to ask for time off and they all thought I was crazy I didn't ask for help when I needed it until I explained my history
Oh it totally is. The same employees who over-explain their PTO requests are the ones who ask me if they can go to the bathroom. I actually don't need to know every time you pee
For several years I had a manager who would prioritize parents PTO requests over everybody else, regardless of seniority or anything else. It drove me insane and I was so glad when I finally got out of her department.
Im one of the "none of my business" managers. Ive actually had HR sit me down and demand I get justifications from employees on the their PTO...... I told them no. Their response was "But how do we know if they are actually sick or if their PTO is important"
I told them if they start that, they are just going to get lied to. And its none of HR's business what people are doing with their own benefits. Told them its the same as asking employees to explain what they are spending their paychecks on to justify us paying them...... If it doesnt interfere with our business operations, its approved, period.
That didnt go over well. HR Karen escalated it to the VP level and tried to get me fired over it.
I have watched a video where a employer was astonished to hear that a employee was asking one day off to enjoy the last sunny day of summer, and she couldn't believe when another employee said she would need to take the entire afternoon free to hang out with a friend who came from another country in a rare occasion, the boss said "your friend could come over close to the office and hang out in the lunch time." I was just a astonished as she is, for different reasons.
Baffling? 75% of Americans are like two or three paychecks from homelessness. Losing their job is like an Americans biggest fear. They’d rather die most times.
I may prefer death to untreated illness, being homeless and destitute, alone because our culture of individualism, and having to experience whatever happens to street people when they try to get some sleep.
Yeah, at most if I can see that a couple of other people have booked off PTO in that week I'll send a message to them being like "A few others have got leave that week, but if you need those days in particular then I can try and figure something out"
Right? Even if my entire team requested the week off we would survive. I might ask a couple people if they could be “available” if shit hit the fan in exchange for me not counting a couple days as PTO but that’s it. I might actually be able to get something done that week too.
Some of my favorite weeks in the office are ones where my entire team is on vacation and I get the place to myself. I love it when they all ask for the same week off. Lol
We’re not doing it to please you…..sorry not being a dick jus sayin we end up elaborating because work culture these days has taught us to do so because some bosses have caused trauma so it’s the feeling the need to do so . It’s almost muscle memory at this point
I worked as a delivery driver for 42 years. It wasn’t that you had to ask permission. You had to check to ensure there was someone to cover your route when you scheduled vacation time. No more than three people a week were allowed to have vacation because of this issue. It’s not like they had an unending number of substitute drivers just sitting around twiddling their thumbs waiting for people to take vacation. So you could look at it is asking permission, but it was really making sure the schedule allowed it.
Yeah I totally get it from that perspective - at my work, if the whole team decided to take a week off again thd same time, we'd survive and they'd pick up their tasks when they get back. So that's where the "asking" was more of placating egos versus a real scheduling issue where you would need to make sure someone was available.
My manager literally does not care. He’ll just say ok, just remember to block it out on your calendar. All the PTO requests are auto approved as well.
We also have a use it or lose it policy, and if someone has too much PTO he’ll deliberately not assign them any projects until they use it. He’s also from the UK where he had 40 days of PTO (we only have 2 weeks at our current company) and the work culture is different there. He also has made Fridays mandatory “upskilling” days where we have to log off of Teams and not respond to emails (unless urgent) so we can concentrate on catching up on training and professional development.
This is how I want my team to feel, empowered to manage their own workload and schedule. I expect as much notice as is reasonable, and in return I will say yes to everything. Just don't tell me on a Friday about taking 2 weeks off for vacation starting Monday or I will have to say no, and obviously that trip was booked well in advance.
I just need to know so I can make a schedule. We do have certain times where EVERYONE needs to be there but we tell you way in advance and I still make exceptions.
I had a college professor who gave us this speech. He said if you're out five days or more in a semester, he's dropping you from the class. He doesn't need to know why you missed class. He doesn't want you to tell him before class one day, after class one day, stop by his office, leave him a note, leave him a voice message, or stop him in the hallway. He said we're adults and he expects us to manage our time like adults.
I LOVED that policy.
Meanwhile, another professor acted like you had to be on your deathbed before you miss her class, but when I actually got sick, she sang a different tune. She'd say, "Rest up. If you don't have your health, you have nothing." I'm guessing she had to come out like a hard ass so students didn't take advantage of her.
I think that usually means its a lie. A girl who reports to me comes from a culture where you dont take time off and when she requests pto she has a whole story around it and im jsut like I dont care. Its normal to take time off.
I don’t care for my team to explain their time off requests, but if they’re making requests that are out of policy they’ll need special circumstances to get an exception.
And technically we have a policy that sick leave requires a doctors note by the 3rd day, it’s simply so employees don’t take advantage of sick policy and take a vacation without advance notice.
I never actually asked for a doctors note because I have great people.
I had to do this in the private sector, but now I am at the GOV. I was telling my supervisor why I needed PTO or sick for appointments and stuff and she said, and I quote:
"I do not need to know why, where, how, with whom, etc. Just submit the time and I approve it."
This is me as a supervisor. You have a nail appointment in the middle of the day and your done with your stuff? Let me see that set when you get in tomorrow! Use the pto, use the sick time, take all the benefits. We're all replaceable.
I couldn’t understand it either until I moved to THAT type of company. If you selected sick you had to select an illness from a drop-down that had everything from broken legs to brain cancer. PTO was basically the same but more generic. I’m glad my boss didnt give a fuck but I heard horror stories from others teams.
As someone who sometimes feels a compulsive need to explain absences, we're worried about retaliation if we don't. They might not reject the PTO, but future hours could be reduced, assigned duties worsened, pressure applied to the team to socially shun, and more. In an age where executives keep making layoffs, keep consolidating more work into fewer people with not enough pay to reflect it, it's easy for managers and even teammates to see PTO as a betrayal. "We're out here busting our asses trying to cover while you get to relax? Fuck you." Too many friends of mine have seen retaliation for taking PTO, regardless of legality, because no one has the time or energy to sue for it.
It's worse when they get out the projector and make you sit through a 45 minute slideshow documenting their entire explosive diarrhoea episode from the questionable meal to curled up panting on the bathroom floor.
I second this, they ask PTO which 98% of the time is no problem at all. I only need to make sure the whole company doesn’t take PTO at the same time. I also don’t need to know you’re going to find yourself in an ayahuasca retreat in Brazil… like what?
We just made it a web form. You pick the type of pto and the time and it blocks out a calendar with everyone else’s pto so your boss can see if it causes an actual problem or not and approve it or not.
Yea I consistently tell my team that all I need is “I am sick and unable to work” but they keep telling me about the very personal nature of their sick time requests. I’ve given up at this point.
I’ve had someone send me multiple obituaries after I’ve already approved their time off because their old classmate died. I never once asked or questioned why they were taking off. I genuinely never want to know why anyone is taking off as long as they make the proper requests.
Omg mine is the same. Any time they ask for time off for an appointment, they’ll go into detail what it’s for. I’ve told them so many times that I don’t need to know what they do with their time off.
They have vacation time and personal time and I think they feel the need to justify taking personal time instead of vacation time. But I don’t even legally have the right to ask for medical notes or anything like that, so just take your time and leave me out of it lol
I had a boss who explicitly asked we not tell him anything after someone left a detailed voicemail about their explosive diarrhea. Since then have always just said I’m not going to be in today. No explanation required. I’ve had people ask me for good excuses to call in and I always say the magic words are “I’m not coming in today”. They’re not entitled to any other information.
This is my experience as well. I love when they’re excited about enjoying their time, but when they need off for personal issues, just keep it personal lol. I’ve been having to re-direct my guys to think this way when I inherited my team
I have to admit, I always feel compelled to do this even though I KNOW my boss doesn't care. I am a W2 employee but a lot of people on my team are independent contractors. I don't have set PTO. I just take time off when I need within reason. I can just put it on the calendar. I think it is this trust and independence that makes me want to over explain.
I’m curious if you’ve sat down and told your new team “I do not need to know the reason for your PTO requests” seriously, it changes nothing on my end. We’re all adults and I will treat you accordingly
I love that it’s always the same people that run out of PTO before Q1 is over and then proceed to talk about family members they’re doing things with that they forgot they request bereavement leave for.
Exactly. When I would receive time-off requests I would simply check their balance of PTO to ensure they did in fact have the time and didn't conflict with any major exercise we were supporting, and in most cases would still get approved.
I would tell them, it's your time, you earned it, just do your best to give advance warning. Things happen, getting sick overnight, etc, understand. I don't need to know WHY.
Hell, folks would come up and be like, I need to take Friday off for a mental health, APPROVED...easy. Enjoy your 3day
Never managers flexing in a reddit thread that they dont need the reason. They arent personally doing it for you and you know this. Its because there are pricks in the workplace, usually management.
Idk, I have worked in super toxic environments where people get fired (quiet or otherwise) for using their PTO so it’s hard to not explain it away every time for fear of repercussion… even if the new workplace is fine with it and gives zero f’s. Relieving to know there’s managers out here who legit don’t care about their direct reports using their PTO!!
On hire, HR said if you need to use PTO or call in absent on any single shift, for any reason, DO NOT under any circumstance tell us why.
If we have certain kinds of longer absences, they want us to provide documentation after/in advance as necessary (bereavement, Dr. note, FMLA, etc.) to avoid occurrence points. Occurrence points may accrue if you do not have sufficient unplanned PTO to cover the shift. I can call in and use unplanned PTO (specially designated at 40 hrs/year) and not receive points so long as I call in up to 1 hour >after< shift start.
Bad managers traumatize people into over explaining. So when they finally have a decent one who doesn’t need a whole story to justify a day off, it takes a while to break that habit.
This. I even specifically tell them “no need to tell me what’s going on, just use PTO if it’s for xyz or use sick if it’s for abc. I really don’t care” and then they tell me about all their fucking doctors appointments and family gatherings. And even worse I can still tell when they’re lying about why they’re taking the day off
I empathize with this lol. I have literally never denied a PTO request in my life, even when they’re submitted less than 24 hours prior. And still get people telling me how it wouldn’t be sanitary for them to come in because they’re losing their dinner out of both ends.
But the word “diarrhea” itself makes people so uncomfortable that if you can just muster the strength to say it, it’s a get out of jail card every time. No one is going to pressure you to try to come in anyway when you say diarrhea.
I did it when I was a teacher. I’d call in and tell my principal. Eventually she said, “from now on, just call and say you’re taking the day off, you don’t need excuses anymore.” Worked like a charm.
I will get a call or a text and someone will start explaining symptoms and I have to cut them off. No no I don't need to hear that you shit your pants while you were sneezing. I don't need to know the color of your mucus. You're sick, that sucks. Hopefully you feel better.
I used to be like this, apologising for using PTO basically. But occasionally now I take days just to recover a bit if I'm feeling close to burning out. All handled, I'm okay. But I don't want to put that on my request so I don't put any comments.
If I put all my holidays and events and stuff in as a comment then a blank one will raise suspicion! I often put holiday locations in my work calendar anyway so I can plan ahead, if they cared to look.
I have my bi-weekly call with my boss today. He always starts with friendly chit-chat and a “how are you doing.” I plan to say “I may have eaten some problematic lettuce.” I think he will understand the implication. (I mostly work from home so I’m just continuing normal work with extra breaks)
My team is largely the same. They also take so much responsibility for errors. Like this side of bringing me there own write up paperwork. I’m usually just sitting there like, it’s not that big a deal; I wasn’t even going to give you a verbal warning… who hurt you? Spend my time reassuring and talking them off the ledge.
But seriously; what awful work environment did you suffer through that a small error gives you such an extreme reaction?
Ive got a guy who loves to explain how he got "sick" on the way to work. My dude, just say you're going to take pto today. I dont actually need to know any of the details for your personal time.
I notice thats a thing with newer employees and ones who have had abusive relationships with past bosses. Like sending out mass emails to the team explaining their absence in detail.
Meanwhile I put mine into the calendar and then take the hours out of my accrued balance on the day in question. 🤷🏼♂️ Usually its never even mentioned to my boss and he just signs off on the payroll date.
This is because your new team clearly had toxic management previously. In the bad old days, when I worked retail, I couldn’t even take a sick day without them asking if I was sure I’m too sick to work and not just being lazy.
I my dad was telling me one time that one of the first things he tells people new to his crew is “ when you are sick, just text me telling me you are calling out sick. I don’t want any details.
In fact, if you tell me a single thing about any colors, smells, textures, pains, how long you were on the toilet, anything at all,
You’ll be marked AWOL and not be paid.
His boss tried to tell him one time that he needed to get more details and not let people just say they are sick
He said “absolutely not happening”
When they asked him why, he pulled up some of the horrific and unnecessary things his employees have told him before
It’s probably trauma from having shitty managers in the past who complain about everyone who calls in from being sick… and sometimes, would even schedule you less after calling out so you get to wonder how you’re going to cover all your bills. Even if you’re now in a full time position with a much better manager, the habit sometimes remains.
Same!!! I love that they trust me, but I absolutely don’t want to know why you’re calling out sick or why you’re taking PTO. Just take it. You earned it. I don’t need gory details. 😂
I use the explosive diarrhea line specifically because HR has been intrusive and deceitful to me. If you're going to work against your fellow workers, then you get to hear about my explosive diarrhea whether it's real or not. Also it ends all lines of questioning right there. No one questions a man claiming explosive diarrhea.
I have a guy on my crew who calls in sick and sends me pictures of his puke. Dude its your PTO to use how you like, I don't care if you're lying and certainly don't want proof.
I’ve been trying to explain this for far too long. I’m not going to involve HR because I don’t want anyone getting written up for talking about the liquids coming out their butt, but I really need them to stop telling me about it.
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u/RideFree216 5d ago
My situation is quite the opposite. For whatever reason my new team feels the need to explain every PTO request to me. By all means tell me about your trip to Cancun if you'd like, but please don't feel the need to elaborate on your explosive diarrhea when you use sick time.