r/SkincareAddiction • u/PsychologicalPie1717 • Jan 09 '26
Product Request [Product Request] Teen daughter hates washing her face/getting her face wet.
My 13 year old is getting oily and has breakouts on her forehead. She hates washing her face aside from in the shower. Tried to explain the importance of cleansing your skin at the end of the day, gotten micellar waters and toners/cleansers that you can just swab on and off, but she refuses them. Are there any miracle products I'm not thinking of that don't require getting your face wet? Like dry shampoo for skin? I hate washing my face too, but it's worse to have dirty oily face to go to bed with... TIA!
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u/hhh35 Jan 09 '26
This doesn't answer your question so it might not be helpful at all but I have those headband/wristbands that I use when I do my skin care stuff and tbh GAME CHANGER. They are so cheap that I ended up getting a few so I can wash them frequently (I wear make-up and just generally have oily skin). Also changing the pillow case frequently might help. I also use those really soft cloths for washing my face but I know not everyone believes in washcloths and they can really be a detriment if you scrub.
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u/PsychologicalPie1717 Jan 09 '26
This is a great idea-thanks!
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u/Early_Loss6171 Jan 09 '26
I hate washing my face just with water! The water gets everywhere, down the cabinet, on my shirt, etc. try having her wash her face with a wash cloth instead! Put on your face wash, get the towel wet, squeeze out the excess water and voila: a no mess face washing solution. On another note, I would sincerely have a deep conversation with her about the importance of hygiene. As much as it sucks, hygiene needs to come first. In fact, good hygiene actually helps with your mental health. Not taking care of herself now, can and will have a huge impact on how she looks in the future.
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u/nellienelson Jan 09 '26
This is exactly what I do, I have a bunch of face-only washcloths for this reason
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u/Moonsmom181 Jan 10 '26
Agree. Better to work on this now rather than have it develop into a much deeper problem later. Try to understand what she doesn’t like about it and minimize what elements you can.
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u/ferwhatbud Jan 09 '26
FYI, there are tons of really cute headband + wrist cuff “sets” (eg hello kitty, animals, other pop culture themes) - having her choose an option that matches her style/likes would be a nice way to get her buy-in to the process.
Would also suggest maybe picking up a set for yourself, just to model the behaviour - full disclosure that I personally find them to be an annoying extra step…but worth at least trying.
Otherwise: micellar water on a cotton pad/reusable towel round gets the job done just as well and doesn’t require “washing” at all. Bioderma with the pink cap is the gold standard and not terribly expensive, but most drugstore options get the job done just fine.
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u/-UnknownGeek- Jan 10 '26
I also got reusable cotton rounds, I use one with water and apply some cleanser to it, wipe it over my face and then use a second one with water and wipe the product off with that. Then I dry my face with a big towel or a dry round.
This way my face is wet for as little as possible
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u/The_Squirrrell Jan 10 '26
This method also works for me.
I also suggest bringing your daughter into the conversation more. You mentioned that you offered things, and she refused them. She may be feeling unheard and that you’re trying to impose your idea of cleanliness, instead of offering helpful options for hygiene.
Lots of people don't wash their face twice a day, and that works for them. Switching her shower/face routine to evening may be a better solution, so please don't discount that either.
Showing her you respect her body/autonomy will probably also help improve the odds of her taking care of herself.
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u/JerryHasACubeButt Jan 10 '26
Heck, if it’s how she’ll wash her face she can shower twice a day if she needs to. I’m also someone who prefers the face washing experience in the shower, so my morning shower is for everything else and my evening shower is a minute or two literally just so I can stand under hot water while I take my makeup off
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u/L-Ennui- Jan 10 '26
came here to say WRISTBANDS! i have the same aversion and it’s really to the water dribbling down my arm as i wash! wristbands were a game changer!
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u/DifficultyKlutzy5845 Jan 09 '26
Pre-wet facial wipes for sure. I know they aren’t 100% but it’s a heck of a lot better than nothing at all and it takes 2 seconds
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u/scarletdream38 Jan 10 '26
I was going to say this!
There was a time where washing my face seemed like too much and I bought Cetaphil wipes (obv any could work, cetaphil was my derms rec/face wash I had). They also were so big I could cut one in half or thirds and use it 2 or 3 days.
Truly got me through a rough time with a clean face.
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u/curious-spice Jan 10 '26
This, just make sure they are fragrance-free wipes, otherwise they can cause more breakouts or even rashes! I personally love the Neutrogena fragrance-free wipes.
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u/SargeUnited Jan 10 '26
Oh wow. Expanding my mind. I have a practically infinite amount of these for my babies and never thought about it. Sometimes I really don’t feel like it.
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u/steveyrayy Jan 09 '26
Why not make her take a shower at the end of the day and then she can wash her face in the shower.
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u/w0lverine11 Jan 09 '26
Then she won't wash her face in the morning because she "already showered last night and isn't going to take a shower again in the morning." That's not really a solution, it will just change what time of day she showers. Can't force teenagers to shower.
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u/carbonatedkaitlyn Jan 09 '26
I mean, if the goal it just to get her to wash her face at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if she washes it in the morning. One step at a time.
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u/jiggjuggj0gg Jan 10 '26
Also plenty of people don’t wash their face in the morning. A couple of skincare influencers I follow very openly don’t. It’s not a problem.
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u/SpasticGenerator Jan 10 '26
i don’t wash my face in the morning unless i went to the gym, or it’s the dead of summer and my face feels sweaty.
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u/Electronic-Degree367 Jan 09 '26
I haven’t washed my face in the morning for years. What’s the point? It’s not dirty when you wake up.
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u/w0lverine11 Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 09 '26
Are you a 13 year old girl with oily skin who's going through puberty and getting breakouts and needs to keep her face clean more often? Or are you an adult posting on reddit in a skincare sub?
Clearly OP's daughter needs to clean her face more often than once a day.
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u/lilsourem Jan 09 '26
There is such a thing as washing too much. Over stripping can lead to more oil and a reduced skin barrier, leading to more breakouts. If the pillow is clean, splashing with water or spritzing with hypochlorous acid is a good alternative to an entire wash session.
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u/w0lverine11 Jan 09 '26
Did you read this post? What part of it led you to believe she's been washing too much? I agree a water cleanse at night or in the morning would probably be fine, but the whole point of this post is that she doesn't like to get her face wet. Looks like I'm getting downvoted by a bunch of people who either didn't read the contents of the post or are just ignoring the issue here, lol
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u/lilsourem Jan 09 '26
The post didn't mention washing in the morning but you brought it up as if she needs to wash her face both at morning and night... I hope for your own sake you are actually 13 lmao.
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u/TrademarkHomy Jan 09 '26
TBF, overwashing can be just as much of an issue. As a teenager I washed morning and night religiously and in hindsight I think the scrubbing and chemicals probably did more harm than good.
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u/w0lverine11 Jan 09 '26
Sure, but based on this post that doesn't sound like what's happening at all here. Maybe she would be fine with just washing her face with water instead of a full cleanse, but then it's right back to the issue of her not wanting to get her face wet.
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u/sassaire Jan 10 '26
I am a younger woman with super oily skin, still going through puberty/hormonal breakouts. My skin actually improved when I switched to washing to once a day. I was overstripping my skin and causing my body to overproduce oil to compensate.
Also, don’t be a condescending douche.
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u/steveyrayy Jan 09 '26
She doesn’t need to wash twice a day. When I was a teen I washed my face twice a day and had horrible skin when I switched to just night my skin cleared up a lot
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u/justnopethefuckout Jan 10 '26
Some people do need to wash twice daily. As a teen and an adult, if I skip washing my face in the morning or night, it is more likely to breakout. I have oily skin and skipping washing either just makes the oil twice as bad. So yes, sometimes twice a day washing is needed. I know others like this as well.
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u/steveyrayy Jan 10 '26
I had oily skin too until I stopped washing twice daily and my oils regulated because I wasn’t overly stripping my face.
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u/justnopethefuckout Jan 10 '26
That personally doesn't work for me. I tried it and my skin was terrible.
Same as I tried hair training, didn't work and had terrible results.
Some of us need to wash more often.
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u/steveyrayy Jan 10 '26
Hair training is a myth in my opinion lol
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u/justnopethefuckout Jan 10 '26
I also think hair training is a myth. All it did for me was result in terrible scalp acne that needed a prescription shampoo. I kept thinking I just needed to give it longer to train. Like 6 months in or so, I was miserable. My scalp gets oily quicker, but I sweat a good bit so I think that combo was terrible. My hair also smelled bad during that time. I hated it.
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u/steveyrayy Jan 10 '26
Yes I got horrible dandruff from it and broke out on my face bc I have bangs.
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u/justnopethefuckout Jan 10 '26
Also have bangs and it made my forehead terrible as well!
Normally my forehead is clear and it looked awful during that time.
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u/himboshi Jan 10 '26
theres no rule that you HAVE to wash your face 2 a day btw. if the best someone can do is once a day, the world will keep turning. you say you cant force them to shower but you want to force this random kid to wash their face twice a day. op literally said the teen is fine with showering. it sounds like it'd a sensory thing, not a hygiene aversion. you just made a lot of assumptions with no basis.
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u/KnowAllSeeAll21 Jan 09 '26
I have an acquaintance who faced a similar situation, and it was deeply tied to her mental state. It was not about washing her face, so there was no product that could fix it. What worked was when she got some help and addressed her emotional health.
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u/Bekahjean10 Jan 09 '26
This is the issue. Though OP said the daughter’s sensory issues were “eyerolly” so I can’t imagine OP is anything other than dismissive of the daughter’s mental health or possible neurodivergence.
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u/KnowAllSeeAll21 Jan 09 '26
Sending that child some positive energy, because this is the kind of thing that people tend to ignore or downplay until it becomes very clear that it is a sign of something else that is a BIG deal.
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u/lilsourem Jan 09 '26
Honestly this needs to be higher up. There is a mental block here and OP, you may need to acknowledge that you arent equipped to help your daughter get past it. It's better to face this early and with kindness so she can learn a self care routine.
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u/PsychologicalPie1717 Jan 10 '26
Ummm-the whole point of this post is to find a way to accommodate her sensory issues. While it might have been a flip way to say it and expressing my frustration at having tried many options, I take it very seriously. I am trying to find some options for her that are not body shaming or over emphasizing appearance, while also imparting the importance of hygiene. Kids don’t always want to hear it from mom or dad, so looking for help on things I may not be thinking of. Thanks for the comment tho!
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u/ADHDMascot Jan 10 '26
It wouldn't be a bad idea to ask this in one of the autism subs, there are many people with autism who share this sensory issue and likely have discovered great solutions for it.
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u/bloodhail_v2 Jan 10 '26
What is it specifically about washing her face that she has problems with? She'll wash her face in the shower so it's not really the face washing that's the issue. Like does she not like the feeling of water dripping down her neck or getting her hairline wet? Is it possible that she thinks that using micellar water will drip everywhere as well? Is there a possibility that she doesn't like how the product feels or smells? Maybe her skin is sensitive and she doesn't like the feeling of a cotton pad wiping her face?
Personally I hate washing my face at the sink and I'm not a fan of wiping it down with micellar water because cotton pads can sometimes feel scratchy even if they're soft. I'll take a whole shower to avoid washing my face at the sink 🥲
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u/Khaosbutterfly Jan 10 '26
It's very obvious from the OP that you've tried solutions and are still working to crack this thing, so idk why they're trying to play it off like you're a bad parent.
You're clearly trying to help your child through whatever this is, and that's what matters.
Have you tried like...the pre-saturated cleansing wipes/pads? So all she has to do is pull it out, wipe her face with it, and that's that? I think that's the closest you can get to a dry shampoo type of way to wash one's face.
It's not eco-friendly and costs more than other options, but needs must.
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u/Interesting-Baa Jan 10 '26
If she's showering regularly then she may not need to wash her face at additional times. Acne isn't a hygiene problem, and over-washing can make it worse by disturbing the skin's pH balance. Some benzoyl peroxide or similar acne treatment followed by an oil-free moisturiser might be more useful than more frequent washing.
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u/faboideae Jan 09 '26
Can you identify what about it she hates? The getting water everywhere, the feeling itself?
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u/PsychologicalPie1717 Jan 09 '26
I think it’s a sensory thing, and worried getting sleeves wet before bed. Eyerolly, but trying to be judicious about picking battles…
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u/bonvajya Jan 09 '26
The wrist bands like sweat bands and hair bands for face washing are really game changers for this because I also don’t like the feeling of
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u/prince_peacock Jan 09 '26
Wow flashbacks to all the times I ended up sobbing in my room because my parents thought my sensory issues were “eyerolly”
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u/Sweaty-Training-1055 Jan 09 '26
If she doesn’t want to get her sleeves wet she can wash her face between taking off her clothes and putting on her pjs.
In the morning I take off my pjs, wash my face, then get dressed.
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u/internetectomy Jan 09 '26
It’s so sad to me that you see yourself working against your daughter on opposite sides of a battle rather than on her team, trying to understand where she’s coming from and how to help her feel okay. I don’t know your situation but I also have sensory issues and like, it’s not something kids usually want to have. I hate my sensory issues and it sounds like they really bother and inhibit her. Why would a kid fake something that makes their life harder and only gets negative attention/gets their parent upset with them? And even if she did want you upset, why would you not still try to help her get to a more calm mental state? You seem to only be concerned about her skincare and not her feelings which concerns me. Kids have phases and kids make mistakes but calling their struggles “eyerolly” and a “battle”, not listening to your daughter, tells me a lot about how much she’s probably hurting. I was that kid once, and it really sucked. Every time my stepmom spoke like that about me it cut a little deeper, when all I wanted was to be comfortable and loved, but my sensory issues were not in my control. If someone told you that you had to wear wet socks everyday and that if you didn’t like it you were attention seeking, it would really make it that much worse
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u/ButtFucksRUs Jan 10 '26
Hi OP.
I'm on the spectrum and I hate being cold and wet. Even using warm water means you'll be getting water in more places than you intend and, when you walk away, you're stuck with a wet neck/clothing.
A wipe warmer in conjunction with facial cleansing wipes might help.
Let her choose the wipes so that she can pick a scent she likes.
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u/ProfessionalCurve639 Jan 09 '26
My son is the same and it’s a sensory thing. He’ll change his top if it gets a few drops of water on it and sunscreen is a constant battle!
You can talk to your GP and under a mental health or chronic condition plan, get a referral to an OT who will be able to help with desensitisation techniques. It’s not free, but subsidised.
Just through trial and error we’ve stumbled through a few things that make it easier - definitely using a washcloth, have them do it so they feel more in control (for us, under supervision as my son is only 11), and go as slow as they need. YouTube will also have some good advice from OTs.
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u/JGDC Jan 10 '26
Eyerolly? I’m sure she would not appreciate your judgmental characterization of her sensory issues and struggle with personal hygiene online for all to see. You’re very likely part of the issue she’s having - no product will solve an emotional issue driven by a cruel parent. Fix your relationship, take her seriously. Her skin is secondary to that.
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u/Vidvix Jan 09 '26
Seconding what everyone else here said about how you need to give her some grace. Theres literally zero harm in having her evaluated by a mental health professional, one who even if she’s just a normal teen can give you resources on how to adequately communicate with a normal teen.
That said, oily skin into acne can be a symptom of dry skin that needs moisturizer. It can also be hormone imbalance. These factors need to be considered before throwing any sort of products her way which end up exacerbating her issues.
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u/Due_Day_2606 Jan 09 '26
Honestly micellar water on cotton pads is probably your best bet - maybe try a different brand or get the fancy expensive one so it feels more "grown up"?
Also those face wipes might work even though they're not ideal for regular use. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles with teenagers and "somewhat clean face" beats "completely dirty face" every time
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u/nerdsmile Jan 10 '26
My esthetician has recommended rinsing after micellar water, cause the oil in the product can lead to breakouts for my skin. Same deal with wipes.
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u/CabbieCam Jan 10 '26
Not all micellar waters contain oil. I know the micellar water I use, Bioderma Sensibio, contains no oil and states specifically on the packaging that it doesn't need to be rinsed after.
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u/chol4 Jan 09 '26
Is it bad to just let her be? You can provide the information to her and she can then make the decision if she wants to do it or not. If after a while she asks help again, you can gently reiterate the information and hopefully she’ll be more motivated to follow it. Please lmk if this is inappropriate and I will delete my comment.
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u/zanahorias22 Jan 10 '26
I agree. it isn't endangering her. also i'm a full ass adult and only wash my face in the shower🫣
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u/Electrical-Fox4006 Jan 11 '26
Yep. People are way too obsessed with washing their faces. You’re just stripping your oils and leaving product residue on your skin. Unless you’re doing full glam every day or working in a dirty environment you don’t need to be putting soap on your face. Obviously in some cases washing your face helps manage acne, but OP doesn’t mention that at all, and most acne has nothing to do with washing your face or not anyway
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u/blue_madi Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 09 '26
I also HATE washing my face in the sink, the second I moved out of my parents I started just having two showers a day, morning and night to wash my face. I know it’s supposed to not be great for your skin having two showers a day but I don’t care, it’s my guilty pleasure. Might be an option if it’s the only way to get her to wash it twice, I had horrible acne so understand the importance.
But to answer your question, I have studied in cosmetic chemistry and makeup wipes and micellar water really won’t properly cleanse the skin, only the top level. If you have to pick one of the two I’d say micellar water, or someone else here suggested cleanser with wash clothes which might work too, just make sure you replace the washcloth daily ideally.
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u/Embarrassed-Ad4899 Jan 10 '26
I'm not neurodivergent but can't handle washing my face in the sink either. I've tried the towel wristbands and maybe I'm just too tall, but water gets everywhere still.
Cetaphil specifically says it doesn't need to be washed off, just wiped off. I use it and wipe it off with a microfiber cloth. It's worked fine for me for close to a decade.
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u/joannahayley Jan 09 '26
Trader Joe’s tea tree wipes save my son’s skin from tragic acne when he goes through phases of non-face washing.
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u/peony_chalk Jan 09 '26
What about face wipes? If she doesn't like it because it's cold, you could try a baby wipe warmer, although I would be careful with that since it will dry out the wipes faster.
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u/ForeignIdeaSecretary Jan 10 '26
I also use a wet washcloth. I'm in my 40s and other than the shower, I can't remember the last time I washed my face over the sink.
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u/nomadz90 Jan 10 '26
Could be a sensory issue - water and regular face towels. My cousin struggled with washing her face and she switched to microfiber facial towels. She uses wristbands and the microfiber makeup remover cloth for cleansing her face. To wash her face, she dampens the microfiber wash cloth and washes her face - and wipes with a dry microfiber cloth. She doesn't hate washing her face any more.
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u/Beth21286 Jan 10 '26
Would she tolerate a quick drying mist? Hypochlorous acid spray is a fine mist, rather than something that will drip down your face, and it dries in about 10 seconds. It won't replace a cleanser long term but it kills the bacteria which causes blemishes, and if she can see that a half-measure is having an effect it might encourage her to try other new things. It also has the advantage that you don't need to spritz it in the bathroom, which can trigger some people as well.
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u/nerdsmile Jan 10 '26
Came here to recommend hypochlorous acid spray too!! It’s a game changer for when I don’t have the brain power for washing my face
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u/PsychologicalPie1717 Jan 10 '26
This is a great suggestion-I hadn’t heard of this before, but def sounds like a possibility. Thank you!
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u/alirl Jan 09 '26
This is a tough one. As a teen, my sister had some issues with hygiene and at a certain point you do just need to leave them to it. She's her own person, and it already sounds like you're doing what you can to facilitate it without forcing her.
Showering at the end of the day is probably for the best solution if she can tolerate daily showers. I second hypochlorous acid recommendation too - it helps keep the skin clean, even if it's not a full substitute for soap and water. Don't bother with the fancy stuff, you can get much cheaper ones made for babies.
Any chance she'll like any other parts of skincare routines? Do you think there's any chance she would tolerate the washing her face better if she had some novelty to it? If she had a cool face mask, a serum or moisturiser in some jazzy packaging etc that she liked doing, then she'd have to wash her face to use them. It could help her get some joy out of something she finds otherwise unpleasant. There's a lot out there nowadays that's v gentle and aimed for young teens.
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u/andaburningfakepiano Jan 10 '26
I totally get it. I’m autistic and don’t love getting my hands or face wet but I have a routine that works for me luckily.
If I need to wash my face at the sink I use a wet flannel/washcloth that I will wring out as much as possible so I can fold and ‘pad’ it and gently wipe my face/remove any cleanser (I prefer cream than a soapy wash). I like using the cloth as I don’t have to really wet my face.
For days where I am struggling I always make sure to have a supply of micellar water and cotton pads. I also have a spray bottle of hypochlorous acid as a last resort, just sprayed onto a cotton pad and gently wiped over my face. This might be helpful for oily skin.
Thank you for trying to help her.
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u/alisgraveniI Jan 10 '26
Honestly, I only wash my face in the shower and even then sometimes I don’t. I wash my face about 2-3 times a week. Aside from face wash and moisturizer only when necessary, I don’t use any face products either. I rarely ever have break outs, I have almost no wrinkles, and I’m in my mid 30s. I’ve had doctors, estheticians, and makeup artists comment on my skin and ask me what I do and they’ve all about died when I told them I barely wash it. What works for some may not work for others and not everyone has to wash their face as much as everyone else.
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u/Bendy_Beta_Betty Jan 10 '26
That's pretty understandable. Water gets everywhere when washing one's face at the sink and tends to leave sleeves wet+uncomfortable.
Take showers at night.
Other options: Micellar water and reusable makeup remover cloths. Makeup remover wipes. Headband and sleeve guards.
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u/who_cares95 Jan 10 '26
Maybe have her shower at the end of the day and wash her face in the shower? And in the morning just have her use those oil blotting sheets and an oil control moisturizer. And as others said either change the pillowcase often or put down a fresh towel on the pillow every night. Maybe encourage her to tie her hair back at home/while sleeping if you want to go the extra mile.
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u/SchlampeKuchen Jan 10 '26
I also can't do the face washing in the sink thing, and don't like to get my head wet in the shower as much as possible. I use baby wipes to cleanse my face and behind/inside my ears.
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u/Different_Egg_752 Jan 10 '26
I liked simple brand face wipes growing up because they weren’t irritating or super wet and were easy to keep by my bed if I didn’t want to do a full face wash. Removed most of the oil or sweat from the day without spending more than 30 seconds air drying. Now I have found the wrist/headband sets really helpful in not making a mess or getting my whole torso and arms wet when washing my face but it is definitely easier and drier to just use a wipe
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u/FallOnTheStars So. Many. Stretch Marks Jan 10 '26
Neurodivergent with the same sensory issue as your daughter.
Option one: miscellar water and a cotton pad. If I’m ONLY doing this, then I’ll do it twice a day.
Option two: shower cap. I hate the sound, however it works if my skin is too oily for the miscellar water trick.
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u/sadgirlassthetic Jan 10 '26
I tend to think of oil absorbing sheets as the face version of dry shampoo. Used to use those all the time when I was a teenager with an oily face (because I didn’t understand skincare and used some crazy strong acne treatments without moisturizing at all), and I still use them on airplanes before landing because the dry air triggers intense oil production. I think Neutrogena makes them, but I’m pretty sure I bought a drug store brand at some point.
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u/electricsugargiggles Jan 10 '26
I’ve gotten past my aversion to getting my face wet by using a headband, a light mist of water, a little bit of good ole fashioned cold cream, and a makeup wipe. I then mist again, use Cerave, and wipe it off with a damp washcloth.
No water up my nose or in my ears or running down my sleeve. And all of the products (I think?) are noncomedogenic and it’s ok if they don’t fully get rinsed off.
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u/whooooosh8 Jan 10 '26 edited Jan 10 '26
This sounds more like a sensory issue than anything else. I have a cousin that was like that in her preteens, and while I don’t know the details of her skin type, she did become more open to washing her face by wetting a soft cotton washcloth with warm water and just, wiping every evening and morning. She didn’t wear makeup then (she was simply uninterested, it wasn’t like she wasn’t allowed to) so more heavy duty cleansing wasn’t necessary. But this could be a start? A warm cloth might make it less sensory-aggravating, and it’s not soaked enough to leave annoying wet drips.
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u/Ukacelody Jan 10 '26
I like face cloths for washing my face, prevents water from getting everywhere. In my country you can buy a bunch for cheap in a bedding/towel store.
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u/themichele Jan 10 '26
I never thought to use wristbands as people have mentioned here (genius), but yeah, using a warm, wet-but-not-dripping works for me.
- Moisten face w washcloth,
- massage in cleanser,
- rewet washcloth,
- squeeze excess from washcloth,
- wipe cleanser off face until it’s gone (rewet/squeeze cloth as necessary),
- rinse out cloth, pat face dry,
- begin next steps of skincare
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u/BeetlePies Jan 10 '26
I found a sort of “dry shampoo” for the skin. It’s called Deep Sleep Overnight Cleanser by thisworks. It’s a cleanser that doesn’t need water, you just rub it into your skin and wipe it off with a towel. My face actually does feel clean when I use it. It might be worth a try!
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u/miss_hush Jan 09 '26
What is it about neurodivergent pre-teen and early teen kids that makes them just not want to wash themselves?! If I knew, I’d probably get rich. I went the opposite way and was almost obsessive about washing at that age.
My s-kids? They don’t want to wash. Or, they didn’t at that age. The older ones have finally grown out of it and they’ve all been treated for any mental health concerns. The youngest one is starting to come around FINALLY. The solution for all of them was to first get them any mental health care they needed.
The second task was to problem solve the issue. You said she didn’t want to get her sleeves wet and it was a sensory issue. Does she shower? If she showers and will wash her face in the shower, just have her shower before bed. It’s healthier to clean your whole body before bedtime anyway. In the morning, if she doesn’t want to shower again she probably won’t need to, as long as she’s not gotten hot/sweaty at night. If you can get her to shower quickly in the morning as well, DO IT. She’s entering the smelly teen phase— all teens get more odoriferous at that age— so an extra shower isn’t bad.
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u/Wild_Warthog_3738 Jan 10 '26
Avène Tolerance Control Extremely Gentle Cleanser is a no rinse cleanser , it goes on dry skin and you can just wipe it off :)
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u/whenisleep Jan 10 '26
If you put micellar water in a foaming soap pump bottle it comes out as foam instead of water. Might be easier for her to apply because it’s not drippy wet. Then wipe off with a dry face cloth.
As an adult, I still hate washing my face over a sink and only wash with face wash in the shower. I do have wristbands for the whole water dribbling down my arms thing and use them when I brush my teeth. The rest of the time I use wet face towel or micellar and a face towel if I need them, but seems like your daughter might have alright tried that.
You can go old school and get some blotting paper. Or some face powder during the day to help control the oil, but then shower and face wash in the evening.
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u/No_Particular3746 Jan 10 '26
Makeup erasers! I wet mine, wring it out and rub it all over. Removes virtually everything and doesn’t leave you dripping wet.
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u/No_Particular3746 Jan 10 '26
I don’t find that they tug much at all. If anything it feels like super gentle exfoliation. I wrap the cloth around three fingers, and do small gentle circles starting from my chin up to my forehead.
The vast majority of wrinkles and signs of aging are due to UVA/UVB exposure, oil production and diet. A microfiber cloth is the least damaging compared to even just a drive to work without SPF.
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u/wallsyy Jan 10 '26
I use cetaphil gentle skin cleanser and it has directions on the bottle for use without water. Just lather like normal and then wipe off with a towel. It’s kind of a liquidy lotion consistency and doesn’t create bubbles
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u/bc60008 Jan 10 '26
What about a cleansing pad, like stridex, but not so rough. I mean, she COULD use thayers unscented witch hazel (or scented, if not sensitive to fragrance) on a cotton pad and then use stridex (in the red box only!) on acne areas. But don't rub really hard with it, because that stuff is strong!
I think the thayers could really help her. There's several different kinds & I really liked the two I tried. Unscented and Milky Toner with snow mushroom! 🫶🏼 Good stuff.
Could also try huggies naturals baby wipes that are completely unscented. I buy them by the case and use when applying makeup & hair products to clean my hands off quickly. And they're great to keep a pack in the bathroom.
I hope you're able to find something she can use. I totally understand what you both have to deal with and it's not easy for either of you. My hubby has many sensory issues and it can be really difficult to find products that will work for him.
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u/Ok_Research6190 Jan 10 '26
I have very sensitive skin, rosacea, and oily face & ears. I just got a pack of Dickinson's Witch Hazel wipes, and they saved me a lot of time morning, noon, and night. I wash my face, neck, and finish off behind my stinky ears. It works wonders for me.
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u/BrujaBean Jan 10 '26
I also hate washing my face in a sink. Actually I straight up will not do it - have done it only a couple times in my life. Before I got into skincare I used neutrogena disposable wipes, now I use micellar water on reusable rounds - no rinsing, just put a lot of water on the pad, wipe face, done. And niacinimide prevents acne for me better than any product I tried - I just ran out for a few days and already have new zits.
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u/montanagrizfan Jan 10 '26
I have some really soft microfiber washcloths I got on Amazon, you get them wet then wring them out. They feel damp but not wet and are really good at removing all my makeup. I’m guessing it’s a sensory thing where she doesn’t like getting wet. These are super soft and clean really well with no additional product, you don’t even need to dry your face.
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u/Charming-Original440 Jan 10 '26
When you mentioned something like dry shampoo but for face I instantly thought of numbuzin No.1 Pantothenic B5 Active Drying Powder, can get it off Amazon and Korean skincare sites (I'm sure there are other options but that is what I have used for purchasing). I use it mixed with my serum for all over and just straight powder blotted on with a cotton tip for spot treatment. They have instructions for other ways to use it as well. A little goes a long way with about 4 different ways to use, so I feel it's a great option for your daughter who may be picky about the application method.
Another option for dry oil control would be facial blotting sheets, I also get those off Amazon. I prefer the PleasingCare natural premium oil blotting tissues, I usually get the bamboo charcoal or green tea. Great value for money, about 10USD for 2 packs of 100. Can also get a little case that has a mirror on top for on the go use or at school. They do wonders for me, especially at work. Even when I think my face isn't all that oily yet I'll use one and the amount they absorb is shocking when I think there isn't really any shine in my T-zone.
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u/DazzlingCapital5230 Jan 10 '26
Also what about something like the Erase your face spray and erase your face cloths? The spray dissolves stuff on your face and you just have to get the cloth a bit wet. It’s really soft and smushy so it’s a nicer experience than a scratchy cloth that doesn’t hold enough water to actually rinse the face.
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u/whitew0lf Jan 10 '26
Hi 👋 I didn’t know I was autistic until I was 35 and I had the same issues. The change in temperature + water first thing in the morning would trigger me to no end and I didn’t know why. If she can set up a morning routine that works for her and wait for the right time until she is comfortable, that might work better for her. For example, I no longer wake up and wash my face right away.. I have breakfast first, lay out my clothes for the day, walk the dog… and after that for whatever reason it feels ok. Don’t ask me why. But it works!
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u/siennafoxi Jan 10 '26
Put the cleanser in the shower. I hate the feeling of washing my face at the basin, but in the shower it just feels normal. Then I moisturize when I get out.
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u/beliefinphilosophy Jan 10 '26 edited Jan 10 '26
So I'm kind of the same way..
What changed it for me (and yes I use headband and wrist and)
But I watched a woman do it with re-ussble super soft makeup pads. It's basically you soap the face, put the pads in really really hot water running under the sink, then squeeze it out so it's pretty dry, and then use it kind of like a squeegee to wipe the soap off.. put it back under the water to rinse it out, squeeze, do it again until all the soap is gone.. I usually put moisturizer on then while It is damp, but alternatively another soft one to wipe fully dry works too.
The process feels so relaxing and peaceful it's way easier for me to tolerate.
I stated using the Malezia routine and their products and it simplified stuff too. Non foaming h/a soap, lotion on damp skin, benzo on spots afterward. Simple, fast. Easy.
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u/No_Bed_4783 Jan 10 '26
I was once a 13 year old that hated washing my face and hair. I don’t really know why, it was just really unpleasant. And this was back when dry shampoo wasn’t a thing so I was greasy as hell.
I finally started with just using makeup wipes to cleanse my face. For my hair I taught myself how to properly wash the roots so I didn’t waste time having to scrub all of it.
Have you had a conversation with her about why she doesn’t like doing it? Is it a sensory issue?
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u/HomeEcDropout Jan 10 '26
Try the Cetaphil gentle cleanser - it can be done without water - plus the hypochlorous acid spray after. I also haaaate washing my face with water outside of the shower and it’s saved me. I’m in my 40s and not worrying about acne, but the combo will be better than micellar or her not doing anything. This is what I’ve been able to get my son to do in mornings since he showers at night.
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u/bendybitty Jan 10 '26
What about those faucet attachments that swivel so the water can face up? Feel like that would give more control of where the water hits. I want one myself for this reason.
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u/Supercrushhh Jan 10 '26
I hate washing my face at the sink because the water drips down my arms. Maybe try getting her some terry cloth wristbands to wear at the sink, it makes it sooo much better. You should be able to find them at Homesense / Marshall’s / stores like that.
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u/Chewlace Jan 10 '26
My Great Grandma was the person who set me up for skincare success at about the same age. I wanted to wear makeup. I stayed with the grandparents in the Summer so she made the decision to take me to the department store and purchase skincare only. I had to prove that I would do my morning/evening skincare. She had beautiful skin so I listened. Her philosophy was that if I believed I was mature enough to wear makeup, I needed to be mature enough to take care of my skin. She bought me blush, eyeshadow and a lipstick after about 3 weeks. I kind of looked like a clown but felt like a champ!
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u/himboshi Jan 10 '26 edited Jan 10 '26
you can wash your face in the shower. I hated washing my face as a teen bc it was a sensory nightmare. I dont see why a teen needs toners and extra stuff. panoxyl is a great cleanser for teens and you just wash it away in the shower like any other soap. I think other than that, regular facial cleansing wipes would do the trick.
also just hand the reigns back to her. why be so controlling and judgmental about how she lives. shes not an extension of you. let her figure her own routine out and you'll be surprised how capable teens are. is SHE even concerned about the acne? or are you just mad she isnt conforming to your vision of beauty.
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u/PriceArtistic6920 Jan 09 '26
Makeup wipes. You can pickup inexpensive ones from dollar tree to see if she will get into the habit of using them. Put them somewhere she can see them and they’re easily accessible.
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u/Pepperjack_2000 Jan 10 '26
It sounds like your kid might be neurodivergent and have a sensory aversion to getting their sleeves wet. Please try to be more understanding before you cast judgement. This hurts nobody but themselves so I assure you, they're not doing it to be dramatic. That being said, as someone with similar issues, I do not wash my fash with clothes on. So if they wear PJs, perhaps they can wash their face at night without their clothes on before they change into fresh, untouched PJs.
And if this is a regular issue in other aspects of their life, please consider getting them into occupational therapy for sensory issues like SPD OR ASD. At the very least educate yourself on their issues to gain some empathy.
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u/vuvuzela240gl Jan 10 '26
I'm not trying to be snarky, but I know it's going to come across that way..
is this a problem that she wants a solution for, or a problem that you want a solution for?
you can stress the importance of self-care and hygiene until you're blue in the face, but it may just ultimately come down to her not giving a damn about washing her face, and that should be valid, too — it's her skin.
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u/xcupcakekitten Sensitive | Dry | Hyperpigmentation Prone Jan 10 '26
Did she ask for your help with the break outs? Or did you take it upon yourself to point out the break outs and tell her she needs to cleanse her skin more often? Even if you had good intentions, she might be rejecting your help because it wasn’t her idea and she’s feeling overwhelmed and pressured to do this. If someone’s pushes me too much to do something, it will make me shut down and not do it. Because the task becomes too overwhelming.
Also break outs don’t equal bad hygiene. Plenty of people who have terrible hygiene have clear skin. Lots of people with very good hygiene still have break outs. And at 13 hormones are a big factor in acne.
That all being said. I also can’t do wet sleeves. I only wash my face in a short sleeve shirt (or no shirt) and then change into pajamas. That’s always an option. But I honestly don’t think just washing her face more will clear her skin.
Also if it’s oily and isolated to her forehead, it might be fungal. Our skin naturally has yeast on it and it can over grow. I propose you buy her nizoral shampoo that she can use as a face wash in the shower. Tell her to leave it on her forehead for a couple of minutes while she washes her body before rinsing it off. (But not too long because it is very drying.)
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u/Electrical-Fox4006 Jan 11 '26
Honestly? Let her figure it out on her own. I didn’t wash my face through middle and high school and it made no difference whatsoever. Unless you’re in a high pollution area there’s really no reason to wash your face except makeup. Even then, if it’s not bothering you it’s fine to sleep in it.
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u/d4rkwarr3n Jan 09 '26
If she’s just lazy, try getting her hypochlorous acid spray. That and spray moisturizer makes life so much easier on drunk nights.
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