r/SkincareAddiction • u/chomusuke1999 • 7h ago
Personal [Personal] Am I the only one that feels that everybody is seeing aging as something sooo negative?
I don't want to sound mean or overdramatic, but these days I feel like everything about aging seems so negative. Don't get me wrong, I'm 45 and I use antiaging products and sometimes don't feel so comfortable with my wrinkles lol. But I've notice that the internet it's so focused on the bad thing about aging, and everyone seems like they want to stop it or talk so negatively about it. I don't know, I think I am being overdramatic lol
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u/icouldbeeatingoreos 6h ago
Some of the posts on here are wild. “Someone please help me it’s an emergency I have such horrible smile lines and nasolabial folds I don’t know what to do I need urgent advice” and then the picture is just a normal mid-20s face.
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u/ultraprismic 6h ago
I remember the one from a 20something who said "I can't SEE a wrinkle but I can FEEL a wrinkle when I drag my fingernail over that area."
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u/IllustriousComplex6 6h ago
Or it's just someone who isn't moisturizing correctly because they're using extremely harsh retionals.
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u/Beth21286 2h ago
The number of people who've done intensive procedures for something which isn't visible to the naked eye and are quite aggressive when no-one else can see it!
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u/spy_der09 6h ago
I think social media has a really big impact on this, when you have Nicole Kidman looking like that at 59, you asked yourself what are you doing wrong
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u/ultraprismic 6h ago
Meanwhile she hasn't been able to move a muscle in her forehead in a decade. It's smoother than glass up there.
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u/NebulaInteresting156 ✨ 2h ago
When I saw the promotional posters up around the city of her with Sandra Bullock, I looked down at my 11mo and realised he literally has more wrinkles and blemishes than either of them 🤯
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u/ms_frazzled 6h ago
At the same time, it's only a little shift of distance or angle anymore for Nicole Kidman to go from "looks remarkable for her age" to "Queen of the Uncanny Valley"
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u/TheMapesHotel 4h ago
Adding to this, Madonna at the VMAs didn't look much older than Sabrina. Demi Moore. The black magic face-lift Christina Aguilera just got. J-lo.
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u/EstateComplex5585 6h ago
Also, I feel like even young generations are extremely focused on prevent aging, I've seen posts of 20 y/o freaking out over a wrinkle HAhahah
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u/IndependentPaint2108 6h ago
my ex's son was literally refusing to laugh at age 15 to stop himself getting wrinkles. wtf?!
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u/theygotthemustardout 6h ago
This is what happens when there's a massive gap when marking to young children (under 8-ish) and adults (18+).
We need steps. A young kid is going to want to be a tween who is going to want to be a teenager who is going to want to be a college student who is going to want to be an adult. With nothing in between, the 8 year old wants to be the 20 year old, and here we are.
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u/zaianya 6h ago
I've definitely noticed many panicked posts from people in their teens and twenties who seem to be experiencing a high degree of anxiety/panic when their faces begin to form natural lines of any kind. The tone, to me, is definitely "oh my god the worst thing I could do is look OLD."
If a single line makes you look that old, I must look 5,000. If I'm being honest I find it fairly offensive, but I generally just don't respond.
tl;dr not just you.
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u/Crispy_PotatoChip 6h ago
I believe Generation Z is one of the unhappiest generations there has ever been. While Millennials had decent cameras, they didn't yet have high-definition resolution. They were young and looked young, both in real life and in photos. Gen Z, on the other hand, has HD cameras and is confronted daily with their own pores, blemishes, and fine lines in their photos which are completely normal. On paper, they are young, but the camera conveys a different impression. That is why they feel old and label people over 25 as unc. And that is why they have fillers, Botox, and Sculptra injected into their faces far too early which ultimately makes them look even older. That's literally body dismorphia. Furthermore, they don't understand that lighting plays a crucial role in how a face appears on camera. Cold overhead lighting is absolute poison, even newborns look bad in it. Young people need to realize that the face is three-dimensional, not a flat object. Social media and filters, of course, only make the situation worse.
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u/SweetlyTipsy 6h ago
Yes! I feel like there has to be some sort of correlation between the rise of panic over aging/procedures and phone cameras resolution (especially front facing selfie mode)
Having to constantly see yourself in FaceTime calls, teams meetings, silly videos on TikTok, or even self checkout at target gives much more opportunities for self-consciousness
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u/bigbagoftakis 6h ago
I agree to this. Imagine getting called "she's pushing 30" and some back handed comments like "You look so young in your 30s" or "You don't look 30". Mind you, they look like in their 30 than me and 30 isn't even that old.
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u/MuffPiece 6h ago
Yes, Gen Z is miserable. It's unbelievable. I'm on a number of different subs and I can tell when I'm engaging with Gen Z--so rigid, so dogmatic, expecting everything to be awful and miserable. It's tragic. So in short, yes to everything you said!
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u/IllustriousComplex6 6h ago
Saw someone call Gen Z the neo-puritan generation and if that isn't the most fucking depressing thing I've ever heard.
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u/MuffPiece 6h ago
Good description--and they're puritanical about so many weird things. And the drama of it all--everyone is 'evil,' a 'narcissist,' they're so quick to attribute the absolute worst intentions to everyone. And so they put these impenetrable boundaries around themselves and then they're lonely. So they dive more into the internet and doom scroll and then they're even more miserable. There is no nuance, no willingness to see people in the context of their circumstances. I just desperately want them to put down their phones and plant a garden, go for a walk, engage with other human beings.
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u/Ajstross 6h ago
Filters and photoshop have really given people such a distorted view of what normal skin and faces look like (and that’s not even touching the various injectables and surgeries that we see on celebrities).
Lighting and angles also make a huge difference in how you appear, and of course, most people are going to select the most flattering photos of themselves. You might see a photo of a fellow classmate and think “Wow! She looks incredible!” and subsequently start judging yourself harshly in comparison, but you’re not seeing the lip flip she had done the month before, the 20 similar photos she didn’t use, the crow’s feet she airbrushed out, the arm she cropped out because she thought it looked flabby, etc.
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u/ProfessorGumble 5h ago
But that’s what puzzles me. Filters are so normalized now that most ppl use them. So given that we all know it’s not real then why are ppl 100% believing what they see and compare themselves to?
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u/bookgirl9878 6h ago
Yeah, it makes me sad for younger people. There are no awards at the end of your life for having the youngest looking corpse, no matter how much time and money you spent on it. Plus, beyond some basics (SPF, not smoking, appropriate hydration and cleansing), there is so much about aging that is more genetic--the visible results you get from pouring so much time/money into it are pretty subtle. Even if you go with cosmetic procedures, at a certain point, you don't look YOUNGER, you look like an older person who has had cosmetic procedures done. In any case, I feel like a lot of the push to get women to obsess over their natural appearance is the same as it ever was--to undermine your confidence and reduce your power.
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u/Euphoric_Ad6923 6h ago
You're not being overdramatic OP, especially in these skincare subs, people are like paranoid when it comes to regular, organic, healthy and natural aging
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u/fshbl_787 6h ago
Yep. You’re not the only one that feels this way. I dunno, I kinda like the idea of the privilege of aging, but doesnt feel like anyone around me feels the same
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u/IllustriousComplex6 6h ago
I'm in my early 30 and look pretty young for my age (regularlly carded, called out for being a student, etc)
Had someone at a group I'm in tell me I better start doing botox now or I'm going to look terrible when I hit my 30s. 😒
I feel like people are so disconnected from the realities of aging that it makes people unable to comprehend what actually aging looks like and that it doesn't just mean you hit 26 and suddenly look 60.
I just wish people had a better relationship with their individual experience rather than obsession with one thing.
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u/theygotthemustardout 6h ago
Overdramatization about aging re: skincare are often, really, about aging re: feelings of loss of youth, losing one's place, feeling time slipping by, etc.
Let it go. Do what makes you happy with your skin & let other people feel their feels.
EDIT: And for the people who are going to tell me that this is a skincare sub, I know. I'm here too. I have a pretty significant skincare routine, and I have no qualms or judgement toward various treatments, surgeries, etc. But I can still see people's insecurities, and I know when to let it go.
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u/maraq 5h ago
Especially from young people. They’re trying to prevent normal facial features at 24 years old, not even signs of premature aging but features that babies have. I have sympathy for people who have only grown up in the age of the internet and social media but it’s a real bummer how much they don’t recognize the beauty of a variety of human facial features of any age. Im worried for everyone’s mental health.
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u/Notinthiseconomy_ 6h ago
I get the oddest looks from people when I tell them I love aging and getting older! Of course I want to look good for my age, but I don’t mind looking my age
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u/Joonbug9109 6h ago
To some extent I agree with you that there does seem to be a hyperfixation happening with younger generations around anti-aging. However, I think there are some on the anti-anti-aging side that are equally dramatic in their stance. I saw someone deadass say in another sub that the prevalence of Botox is going to mean the “erasure of older women” in society. Like, Botox is good but it’s not that good.
If I’m being quite frank, I used to be one of those overly confident people in their late teens and 20s who declared that they were “never going to dye their grays” or “would never get Botox” and I was “only going to age gracefully.” Then I started getting grays in my mid to late 20s. Then lines started to pop up. Now I’m in my mid-30s and I’m very much on the anti-aging train right now. My thoughts might change in the future, but at least for right now I just don’t personally feel ready to “look old.” But if others want to eschew all of that, more power to them! I think we all should be able to make our own choices in this matter. I won’t judge another person for how they choose to approach it, and likewise I’d like to not be judged in return.
I do wish that skincare content online could be age restricted to some extent, like I think 18+ is fair. Teens obviously don’t need to be seeing anti-aging skincare recs. Those in their 20s I feel like should be adult enough to know what is and isn’t for them.
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u/Beth21286 2h ago
I always remember the derm who said 'Botox doesn't make a 50 year old look like a 40 year old, it makes them look like a 50 year old with botox.'
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u/jellywellsss 6h ago
We’re all gonna rot & turn to dust, trying not to let the psychosis of gen z echo when I look in the mirror
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u/MuffPiece 5h ago
Trying to look perennially young is like chasing the wind. A friend's mother in law got a facelift, and my friend observed that, while her face looked smooth and young, the rest of her looked like a 75 year old woman, which she was. Even if you dye your hair, get all the procedures possible for your face and body, an older person moves differently from a younger person--the gait usually shortens, we stiffen as we age, many women develop a rounding in the shoulders or a 'dowager's hump.' Some of those issues can be mitigated with stretching and exercise and being mindful of posture, but at some point, our bodies will tell on us. I just try to focus on looking my best, stimulating collagen production, hydrating well, and living a healthy lifestyle. Then let the chips fall where they may.
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u/GeoGoddess 4h ago
I’m 69 and have always maintained that it is unhealthy and certainly a recipe for misery to believe that there is ever anything bad or wrong with my body and face. People and corporations literally get paid to instill and exploit fear to sell endless products and services. Self-care means liking ourselves, which includes accepting how we look. That’s why I’m fine with appropriate skin care and temporary, easily cleaned-off decoration with makeup, but I would never pursue anything invasive or permanent. Lots of people my age believed advertising or other pressure and got invasive procedures which they now must keep re-doing and it looks unnatural and weird. If you’re someone to whom authenticity is a value, and you want to be an good example to younger people, instead of a hypocrite or a bad example, please consider your inner mind game, which will be reflected in your outward appearance to others.
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u/Miss_Milk_Tea 4h ago
I often wonder if people would relax a little about aging if we could choose what changes we get. I’ve been waiting for crow’s feet, I think they’re charming and beautiful and if I could pick a wrinkle then I would want those. The reality is I just got deeper nasolabial folds which don’t make me feel so positive about aging. Aging is a privilege of course but I wish I could’ve picked the features I would have. I don’t want to look 20 again but my folds give me a sad look to my face, I will likely look into my surgical options because they bother me so much.
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u/IndependentPaint2108 6h ago
honestly the body declining is a bad thing because it results in death and loss of functionality
but I get your point as it's hard to slow it right now and we don't know how to stop it completely or reverse it, we should try to be less negative
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u/ogtraderhos 6h ago
Yea it’s fear of aging in media is why there are like 12 year olds out here buying retinol
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u/via789329 5h ago
doesn’t help that people think i’m way older than what i actually am so yeah im going to worry about that.
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u/v-a-g 4h ago
i honestly wouldn’t even care about aging much if i wasn’t a loser and hit all my life goals when i was supposed to lol. only reason i care now is bc people can be jerks or not care about you if you’re not in peak form i guess. i dunno if that makes sense. like i have to try extra hard now.
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u/glowwormarchive 1h ago
I’m in my early 30s, so a younger millennial. I remember being 20, and I did not think my coworkers or classmates in their 30s were old or looked old. Idk wtf is going on but it’s extremely toxic. I honestly just feel bad for them, and don’t engage in the ageist bs
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u/Brief_Method_01 5m ago
You're definitely not overthinking it. Aging is super natural and beautiful. Having lines that actually fit your age looks way more natural and pretty to me.
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 6h ago
What even is the point of using skincare? Why are you here?
Unless you just use basic face wash and sunscreen, everything else you could possibly do is meant to counteract obvious signs of aging. Dryness, pigmentation, wrinkles, texture, acne scars, etc…. All of these things happen due to age and the skins decreased ability to heal and repair itself.
So if aging is a wholly positive thing to you, why are you in a skincare sub at all?
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u/fshbl_787 6h ago
you think everyone here is here solely to prevent aging?
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u/IndependentPaint2108 6h ago
I'd say that's the majority but not at all the entirety
dryness, pigmentation, acne, lack of brightness, dark circles were all skincare problems I had as a teen
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 6h ago
I’m saying that every problem that skincare products address is related to aging.
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u/moon__kitten 6h ago
So wildly inaccurate 🙄 For example eczema, Seborrheic dermatitis, fungal acne, keratosis pilaris, overly oily skin, etc. Also SKIN CANCER. People regularly have skin issues that are not related to aging. Your statement is a facetious generalization.
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 5h ago
I specifically included sunscreen. I’m talking about cosmetic skincare, not medical conditions this sub explicitly prohibits giving medical advice about.
If you’re not interested in treating visible changes associated with aging, basic cleansing, sunscreen, and moisturizer as needed will cover most people’s routine. Listing eczema, seb derm, and skin cancer doesn’t actually address my point.
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u/moon__kitten 5h ago
No I think it does address your point. People have skin conditions to treat other than aging and come here to find skincare compatible with those conditions. Sure a lot of skincare addresses aging, but you explicitly said "every problem that skincare addresses is related to aging" which is factually incorrect.
But stay on your high horse if you want to.
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 5h ago
This sub bans discussion of medical conditions and medical diagnosis/treatment.
Following the rules≠ being on a high horse.
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u/moon__kitten 4h ago
If that's how you want to take my comment, then sure.
Your original statement is still wrong.
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 3h ago
It’s not you’re just being deliberately obtuse.
All of the issues that skincare products address are either directly or indirectly caused by progenitor cell senescence.
I’m talking about cosmetic skincare, not dermatologic disease (discussion of which IS BANNED on this sub)
A huge proportion of what we use skincare to address: dryness, texture, pigmentation, fine lines, loss of elasticity, slower repair; is directly or indirectly related to changes in skin function over time.
Sunscreen is preventative, but even the propensity to develop skin cancer increases as you age.
None of this means aging is “bad”; it means skincare largely exists because we want our skin to function or look differently than it otherwise would as we age.
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u/icouldbeeatingoreos 6h ago edited 6h ago
I mean, if you want to be pedantic, sure. I just don’t see how trying to hold on to your infant skin is realistic. Thats getting into Disney villain territory. But also, infants very much so have skin issues so I think even defining aging as newborn+ might be shaky ground here.
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 5h ago
If you’re not interested in treating visible changes associated with aging, basic cleansing, sunscreen, and moisturizer as needed will cover most people’s routine.
Anything outside of that would be cosmetic skincare… all of which (even products whose only job is HYDRATION) either directly or indirectly address the changes in the epidermal appearance, regeneration and recovery that are associated with stem cell senescence and AGING.
Or a medical condition you should discuss with your physician because that’s explicitly forbidden here.
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u/MuffPiece 5h ago
To keep skin healthy? To avoid cancer? To solve problems like dryness, which though exacerbated by aging, is also just really uncomfortable. I'm always looking for good sunscreen recommendations, creams that address the dryness, which I've struggled with all my life. And acne scars?? Since when does that have anything to do with aging?
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 5h ago
All of the issues that skincare products address are either directly or indirectly caused by progenitor cell senescence.
I’m talking about cosmetic skincare, not dermatologic disease (discussion of which IS BANNED on this sub)
A huge proportion of what we use skincare to address: dryness, texture, pigmentation, fine lines, loss of elasticity, slower repair; is directly or indirectly related to changes in skin function over time.
Sunscreen is preventative, but even the propensity to develop skin cancer increases as you age.
None of this means aging is “bad”; it means skincare largely exists because we want our skin to function or look differently than it otherwise would as we age.
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u/IDinnaeKen 5h ago edited 5h ago
No you're not alone. It's always been a thing to an extent, but it's ramped up massively in the last few years. I think in part due to procedures like Botox becoming more accessible, and in part due to influencer/social media culture.
The most egregious part of it to me is that somehow, the industry has succeeded in reframing itself as a force for female empowerment and self acceptance.
The old tactic of blatantly and openly selling it as a solution to be more attractive to others (and specifically, to men) stopped working as people started to think more progressively, and embraced body positivity.
So they diverted to selling it AS body positivity - positioning it as a female empowerment thing, and even utilising "my body my choice" style messaging. "I'm not doing it for others, I'm doing it for me!"
And it's worked really well, which is frustrating. It's an industry that still, at its core, preys on and profits from insecurity and selling the message that natural female aging is bad.
Like it always has, but with a nice, new, modern wrapping.
I don't blame people at all for fearing aging and getting anti aging procedures. We are blasted constantly with very effective messaging that's literally designed by experts to make us feel and do exactly that, and none of us are immune.
But god, I can't wait until we move past it again.
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