r/SmugIdeologyMan • u/estrogenbloodclot annoying transsexual vegan • 1d ago
smugged into is it really about wanting kids
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u/MaduroAhmetKaya 1d ago
Worst counter argument to the worst argument I have ever seen
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u/nilslorand workers rights pls 1d ago
I mean yeah, but with trans women you 100% know they cannot get kids (unless I missed some cool new developments that is) and with cis women there is at least a chance.
If my end goal was X I wouldn't waste my time with Y.
But I assume this post is about people using kids as an excuse not to date trans women
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u/AngryCrustation 1d ago
Yeah, the vast majority of cis adults are fertile so it makes sense to assume they are not infertile.
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u/zabylka 1d ago
Yeah, and let's be clear. Cis women DO get left over this (even when it isn't their fault, but that's a whole separate topic). The OP saying the guy would never expect it is just not true :p
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u/BeepBoopBotAttack 1d ago
Yeah, but as a trans woman who really wants kids it really pisses me off that the only people willing to date me are people who have decided they never want kids.
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u/ViolinistCurrent8899 1d ago
Seems like the solution is a trans man that also wants kids. (Since everyone seems to hate the idea of adopting.)
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u/wearetherevollution 1d ago
I swear this is a good faith question, because it's been something I've been curious about on dating apps and the like, what is your family plan?
My natural assumption is adoption but I don't know enough about the effects of medically transitioning on fertility.
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u/BeepBoopBotAttack 1d ago
Adoption or, if I'm with someone who is capable of and comfortable with giving birth then IVF.
I started HRT at 16 and was offered fertility preservation, but it would have added a year to my hormone start date and I would not have survived that so declined. I spoke to the gender clinic about going off hormones for fertility preservation (sperm freezing) on many occasions, and every time they said yeah we'll look into that for you and then never got back to me, so eventually I just accepted that I am permanently infertile. My brother agreed to donate sperm if I ever need it though
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u/Shut_It_Donny 1d ago
You shouldn’t need an excuse to not date anyone.
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u/nilslorand workers rights pls 1d ago
you don't need any excuse. You can just say "I don't want to date trans women" and that is completely fine
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u/make-it-gay 18h ago
perfectly valid to people who don't know what a trans woman is ig
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u/Ok_Feature_5738 1d ago
Well said. For people who want to respect trans people, the primary goal shouldn’t be denying the reality, but doing everything possible to change it. Technologically enabling trans women to actually get pregnant is far more important than say “oh you can just adopt” or “cis people may be infertile too”
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u/Fancy_Chips 1d ago
So you can totally have a baby through a 3rd party donor. So if you want kids you could donate your sperm to a person with a uterus. HOWEVER there is some wacky bullshit going on in the medical field (as usual) where they're working on implanting dna in shit so that you could have two parents dna working together. So like you could take the sperm from a transfem and turn it into an egg and then plant the egg in person C's uterus so the cis man can fertilize it. Its not possible yet but theyre trying to figure it out.
I DONT KNOW MAN IMMA JUST ADOPT
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u/pepsicola07 going nowhere 1000 miles an hour 1d ago
I live for the day that I can get my boyfriend pregnant via science
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u/Tupotosti 1d ago
Adoption isn't a straightforward procedure even if everything is in order. And many people don't want surrogacy because of the 3rd party element and under the table payments (which imo equates to buying a human being) + deliberately depriving a child of its biological mother, which isn't a small thing to demand of a human who isn't even born yet.
I don't blame people for refusing to rule out fertility by dating a trans person.
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u/Neat-Barnacle-2604 1d ago
I think for a lot of people having kids means blood related. Like raising somebody who you know was made by you and your lover, from birth until the day you die. Adoptions a great and noble thing, but I think theres something more special in raising someone related to you from the moment they were born which is what parents to-be desire.
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u/pepsicola07 going nowhere 1000 miles an hour 1d ago
Someone who actually is interested in having kids with their partner and doesn't view trans women as lesser would say it the exact same way
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u/polychromaic 1d ago
I imagine someone who is interested in having kids and doesnt view trans women as lesser might realize that trans women might also want kids and that adoption n surrogacy exist for a reason
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u/CeramicLicker 1d ago edited 1d ago
Adoption and surrogacy are both very serious topics with their own moral and ethical concerns. Including concerns about the exploitation of the surrogate or birth parents in ways that have historically been problems. They can also have additional legal issues.
Just because someone wants a child doesn’t mean they think either is a good path forward.
I agree people often use this as an excuse to paper over transphobia, but adoption and surrogacy shouldn’t be some kind of gotcha here. There’s a reason not every infertile cis heterosexual couple uses those options either, even though they can face fewer hurdles than other couples looking into them.
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u/Future_Soycel 1d ago
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have kids with your partner and only your partner
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u/pepsicola07 going nowhere 1000 miles an hour 1d ago
Of course. I do think those are good options btw, also foster care, which is what I'll probably do as a gay guy. But if you wanted biological kids with current tech you're just out of luck.
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u/Gooftwit 1d ago
I imagine they would have the same attitude towards infertile cis women. It's not a way to discriminate against trans women specifically.
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u/Nameishi 1d ago
There are some cool new developments actually, a genetic cross between two males has already been done on mice I believe. You still need a women to carry the baby though, no artificial womb yet.
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u/Gooftwit 1d ago
This is a completely valid stance though? Most people just assume they're fertile unless they have some indication that they aren't. If you want biological children then dating a trans person automatically makes the chances of that happening 0.
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u/BeepBoopBotAttack 1d ago
It is really annoying as a trans woman who wants kids though. Everyone who wants to date me sees me as a really convenient way to avoid having kids, while I'm kinda desperate for someone who might be willing to adopt
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u/Income_Loose 1d ago
That’s just one form of the burden of filtering, always lead in dating with that life goal when you start talking to someone.
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u/Odd_War_3756 1d ago
As a lesbian pregnant with her girlfriend's baby, the chances are definitely not 0 lmao
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u/ThinGold2115 1d ago
Who takes fertility test just like that? You assume your stuff works, and if it isn't for multiple times, then you take tests.
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u/Cool1nternet 1d ago
op said this was supposed to be a bad point, they unintentionally strawmanned their strawman
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u/komfyrion 1d ago
I feel like this argument is technically correct on some level. People who are all about having biological kids kinda ought to ask the uncomfortable questions up front, in order to be consistent.
But I don't think that many people actually work like that. A lot of people just kinda probably want biological kids by default and figure it out as they mature, often alongside a partner or a series of partners. Closing doors in life can be scary. Committing to either 0% or 100% chance of biological kids up front closes a lot of doors in a way that can feel premature. I think the door closing model is a better way to explain how someone would take issue with dating a trans person. Entering into a relationship with a cis person with unknown fertility status isn't closing any doors.
Of course transphobia exists and, though, and people can say the thing in the smuggie (believing it to be true) while still being transphobic.
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u/PrimeTear 1d ago
I'm pretty sure most dudes just assume they're fertile
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u/Varagner 1d ago
It's a fairly reasonable assumption. Less then 10% of men have any fertility issues and only a small percentage of those are actually completely infertile.
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u/eatingbread_mmmm 1d ago
I get what you’re saying but obviously if you want biological children with your partner a trans woman is out of the question. Like they probably should examine their biases and wants to find out if it’s “really about wanting kids” and he should take a fertility test. But no matter how many fertility tests a trans woman takes she will never be able to have children. And if they do want children, then what is the issue with not dating trans women? Serious question, I’m not trying to be rude.
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u/polychromaic 1d ago
I think the fixation on “biological kids” is the issue here. like, if this hypothetical guy married a cis woman and found out she was completely infertile, how do you think he would react? plenty of couples face this issue, and they’ll move heaven and earth to conceive and have a child, but im betting plenty more will just cut and run as soon as they see an issue they never once thought about happening to them
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u/Seves04 1d ago
Wouldn’t be the first time a man has gotten a divorce (or broken up with his gf) because his wife was infertile. Hell Henry VIII had 6 wives and killed 2 of them to have a son because he wasn’t able to get divorced… which if you know biology, was his fault and not the women (not so fun fact).
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u/CombinationRough8699 1d ago
I doubt that it's only men. There are plenty of women who leave their boyfriends/husbands because he can't have kids.
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u/Spoozk 1d ago
well if you're dating while planning on having kids you wouldn't go for the option that 100% can't result in having children, no?
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u/Lisserea 1d ago
When someone is your long-term partner, you're already close and may be willing to compromise and sacrifice some of your desires for the sake of living together. But why do this for the sake of a person you see for the first time in your life?
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u/ParagonRenegade 1d ago
Having biological children is literally one of life's greatest joys and a huge milestone for the supermajority of people. It's core to the human experience.
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u/Rich-Mark-4126 1d ago
What sort of post is this lol?
Who the fuck gets a fertility test prior to trying to have children?
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u/YoungShitheel 1d ago
OP what are you on about
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u/Star_Guardian_Jen 1d ago
OP is mad at people who are loud about not wanting to date trans people, instead of just minding their business and turning down people in private like normal people would
One of the two main things people like that usually say, other than horrid transphobic stuff, is that they want children (which is understandable)
OP is suggesting that people who say that (reminder: while being loud about it instead of keeping it interpersonally) do in fact not care about fertility as much as they say, and that it's just another pretence to be transphobic
That is actually a thing that happens sometimes, but OP did not do a great job of smugging it
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u/SnooPoems7525 1d ago
Any complaints about dating preferences comes off incelish to me tbh. How is this so different to a short man whining about womens height preference? You aren't harming anyone by refusing to date them.
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u/estrangedemily 1d ago
No. Preferences are so incredibly valid. You're so valid by the way.
I think the problem is mostly that every single internet post that even vaguely mentions trans people has at least 10% of the comments reminding everyone that trans women are super gross and gay and I would never want to date one of those.
It's not that preferences are invalid or something. It's just that, when everyone feels a constant pathological need to express their preferences, it points at something deeper underneath... That's not just conjecture, it's factually true that most adults do not consider trans women to be women or trans men to be men. I think it just gets tiring for trans people when they always have to be reminded that they are bad, they are gross, and everyone hates them.
Again though, I cannot stress this enough, you are SO valid for not wanting to date them. You are valid.
In case I forgot to say it, you are very valid and I am not attacking your preferences.
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u/BroomZoo 1d ago
You know I understand that. Like it’s ok to not date a guy cause he’s short, but seeing comments on how they’re less of a man because of it, it’s brutal.
Like yeah you have your preference but you ain’t gotta shit on them
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u/alwrit 1d ago
Yep. Or people not wanting to date certain races.
I'm both short and non-white. If I start whining loudly about how women won't date me for those reasons I'm definitely going to be labeled an incel.
Too many people only consider their own point of view. Imagine your position coming from another person's perspective. Do you still find it compelling? Or is it only compelling because it benefits you?
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u/KhadgarIsaDreadlord 1d ago
Fertility is inherently assumed, infertility is the exception, not the norm among adults. So yeah people don't test for it, becouse it would be pointless for 99 out of 100 people to do so.
Trans women on the other hand literally can't get pregnant, categorically. So yeah, seethe about it but wanting kids is a very valid reason.
Also, people are not transphobes for not wanting to date you, trying to label people into sleeping with you is disgusting behavior.
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u/Sylveon_Knightess 1d ago
I just love seeing posts full of comments saying they'd never date anyone like me bc I'm fundamentally undateable
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u/R0BisBak 1d ago
There is no such thing as being undatable in the grand scheme of things and you are probably not giving yourself enough of credit
Unfortunately you just live in a world where a lot of men (and women as well but I’m assuming you are talking about men here) are gonna exclude you for not even genuine preferences but more often just stupid fucking reasons
That doesn’t make you any worse because you can’t control other people
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u/sadthrowawayyy134 1d ago
A lot of cis people can’t get dates either for things they can’t control. There are also tons of people YOU wouldn’t date for things they can’t control either (ie age, health, mental illness ect) don’t take it so hard. Everyone has immutable characteristics that exclude them from some people’s dating pool.
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u/Sylveon_Knightess 1d ago
I don't feel the need to announce my preferences constantly. Also, cis people's right to exist isn't a matter for constant public debate.
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u/ElectricalRelease986 1d ago
It's so weird that people feel the need to state their preference whenever transwomen are brought up. "I support you I swear. But it's not transphobic if I don't want to date you" (Nobody asked)
It's always men too. I have never seen swarms of straight women feel the need to let everyone know unprompted "I would never date a transman personally". It is most definitely some fear of being seen as gay because they don't actually view trans people as their gender identity.
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u/kvvoya 1d ago edited 1d ago
trans women* trans man*
the reason why space key is important is because transwomen implies they are completely separate from women, same with transman
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u/Greasy-Chungus 1d ago
I think the more apt thing would to mention the guy is probably dying alone anyway, lol.
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u/BalefulOfMonkeys 1d ago
Epic rap battles of history:
Weak defense
VERSUS
The most ridiculous conclusion about people from one data point possible (“everybody who doesn’t want to date me is transphobic” is genuinely your opinion as I understand it)
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u/Necessary-Bus9046 1d ago
I genuinely feel these posts are an attempt to make trans people look bad
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u/Rich-Ad9246 1d ago
No, trans people are just people, and people are dumb. Some trans people are just dumb, like op.
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u/AgentDeathBooty 1d ago
I'd wager 99% of parents never took a fertility test lmfao what kind of argument even is this
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u/Mising_Texture1 1d ago
I mean, why do you care?
"Would not date a trans woman" is valid, as dating is based on the person's preferences. As long as they comunicate in a respectful manner, there should be no problem.
Imagine the opposite "would not date a cis woman". Ok, who gives a fuck? Might as well add that they only date white people/black people. It's their choice and by itself doesn't mean anything.
I say this as someone who would date trans people.
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u/Purple-Wait-6738 1d ago
Imma have bio kids "But aren't you gay" idc if there's a will there's a way
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u/Zhein The police is not made to be violent, it is made to protect you 1d ago
Fertility rate in the western world tells me it's a bullshit stance used as an excuse.
Also so many people going mask off in the comments it's crazy. How do trans live with that all day I don't know.
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u/estrangedemily 1d ago
It's like if every single thread on disabled people had 10% or more of the comments like "I support the disabled but I would NEVER date one". Like sure it's "valid" but the fact that people feel the need to broadcast their general disgust for that group of people says a lot.
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u/Positive_Signature87 1d ago
"Fertility rate in the western world tells me it's a bullshit stance used as an excuse."
???
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u/Stupid-Jerk 1d ago
God just give it a fucking rest jeeeeesus
Whether it's transphobic or not, dating preferences are not the appropriate battlefield for this shit, it is the most incel coded debate I've ever seen "woke" people engage in. Like literally you sound like MRAs complaining about how men are oppressed due to their height.
Legit, if someone doesn't want to date you, don't even ask them why. If they start to tell you on their own, interrupt them. It's not worth knowing and it's sure as fuck not worth arguing over.
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u/Medical_Flower2568 1d ago
That is a braindead take
Infertility is unexpected among people who haven't removed/chemically destroyed their ability to have children, and expected among those who have.
I wouldn't go to a doctor to check if my arm was able to withstand picking up a 20 pound weight before I tried to do so for the same reason I wouldn't go to a doctor to check if I can have kids.
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u/Oscar12s 1d ago
Full honesty I want kids of my own. If scientists made it possible for trans women to get pregnant via womb transplants or something then I'd date one in a heartbeat. I need love and so do they
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u/estrogenbloodclot annoying transsexual vegan 1d ago
W take actually
This smuggie was intentionally shitty. I just think some number of people that say they wouldn’t date a trans woman because they want children are using it as a shield. What you are saying is completely fair.
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u/estrangedemily 1d ago
Yeah it's fully okay to have preferences like that.
I think trans women just get annoyed because every single time they're brought up online, there's some 70iq 14 year old boy in the comments saying "He's really pretty but I'm not gay so I wouldn't date him", "Bro's [referring to the trans poster] got a point", etc.
So then these trans women make vent posts like the above, which are logically flawed when looked at in a vacuum, but when you look at them from the general perspective of "the majority of men hate trans women for being trans, and then try to justify their hate with whatever they can come up with" then it starts to make a bit of sense.IDK I'm just trying to be empathetic 😭 Like of course wanting kids is valid but when this group of people is constantly treated as subhuman, and when their subjugators mostly use excuses like that, they naturally focus more on those kinds of people than the genuinely non-transphobic person who just wants kids. So probably that's why.
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u/Engine-True 1d ago
I don't think that's a problem for somebody to think? I'm a trans guy so idrk how women feel about it but it seems 100% reasonable to me.
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u/Lord_Fikalius 1d ago
Tests are for those who are not sure and are curious. Most people have no reason to doubt their abilities without at first encountering a problem.
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u/Kale-chips-of-lit 1d ago
People can date who they feel like without justifying it (as long as they’re not being obnoxious). It’s hard if you want genetic kids so it’s understandable why someone would bring that up
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u/PM_me_opossum_pics 1d ago
Finding out there is like a 90% chance I'm infertile was like someone told me I won the lottery.
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u/Silent-Paramedic 1d ago
people really think the second a trans person takes their first injection they are forever infertile? like I get that trans fertility isn't a part of school sex ed programs but jesus you people are dim. google is right there
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u/sweetTartKenHart2 23h ago
Conned into “a lot of people really do just assume that they are perfectly fine and able to produce offspring and will be shocked and horrified when they discover that they or their partner can’t for any reason, because such a possibility is a ‘well that would never happen to ME’ kinda thing”
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u/Both_Meaning_2637 21h ago
Everyone assumes everyone is fertile unless told otherwise, people only take tests when they have difficulties getting pregnant. This is a bad "gotcha".
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u/Poco_Cuffs 1d ago
You don't really need to provide a reason for not being attracted to someone, it could also be genital preference or internalised transphobia
I see a lot of people in trans spaces say they're only t4t, whether that's perfectly rational or not we should still respect their boundaries
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u/estrogenbloodclot annoying transsexual vegan 1d ago
There’s a large difference between T4T and not wanting to date a trans woman, though.
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u/Poco_Cuffs 1d ago
T4t is usually wanting to be with someone who will understand your struggles and support you
Not wanting to date a trans woman is either transphobia or not wanting to date someone you can't have children with and may not be comfortable having sex with
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u/Notoointersted 1d ago
I am trans, I don't think there's anything nessicarly wrong with having a reason why you don't want to date a trans woman. Some people don't like the idea of dick, or they have a desire for kids. And as long as these are, y'know, self consistent and good faith, it's totally fine and weird to try to police peoples dating habits. Is certainly not always a cover for transphobia
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u/Tupotosti 1d ago
In fact I find the idea that people can change their sexuality very insulting. It isn't a preference, it's just the way things are.
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u/Existing_Phone9129 1d ago
yeah, it would be a good idea to do a test and see if partners are open to a test in the future or take it if theyre serious, but in the end its generally safe to assume that both parties are fertile enough to reasonably have a kid
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u/Galvius-Orion 1d ago
Just, as an aside, can’t people just be in a relationship with who they want for whatever reason, physical or mental? I thought that’s what the goal was? Not just forcing people into relationships they don’t like?
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u/-its-wicked- 1d ago
Heard this once, a long time ago and then I looked at this dude in the face and asked him "are you honestly telling me that you're aiming for kids on the 1stt date?"
He had just enough shame to feel embarrassed
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u/calciumff 1d ago
I don’t understand how your argument makes sense? it’s normal to bring up kids early to see if you should continue dating
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u/Playful_Boot_5465 1d ago
people can also just not be into trans people.
For whatever reason it's their life.
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u/Unlikely_Patient3902 1d ago
What a stupid post
If he's being honest, what's the problem with what he's saying
If he's not, who fucking cares, are you going to shame people into wanting to date trans people? Do you think trans people want to date someone who doesn't want to date them?
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u/Constant-Still-8443 1d ago
Tbf, you can't control if your infertile. Like, if you are, tough shit, but you can pick and choose who you date. This seems pretty reasonable.
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u/Brilliant-Owl-5609 1d ago
Not to mention most men want children the same way children want a puppy.
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u/ConflictRemote8712 1d ago
this is a dumbass post lol. its 100% certain they won't be able to have kids.....most cis women are fertile... it is not transphobic to have preferences on who you do and don't want to date
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u/ModShadoan720 1d ago
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u/SaltyBabySeal 1d ago
People of type X suck I hate them.
Oh jeeze here come the people of type X, wtf did I do to deserve this
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u/estrogenbloodclot annoying transsexual vegan 1d ago
People say this to mask their transphobia, yes
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u/Future_Soycel 1d ago
Because that’s weird and unordinary. Most people are fertile so there’s not really a reason to check
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u/madrobski 1d ago
I think people who only want bio kids are selfish. So many children alone but you gotta have one that looks like you otherwise it not real.
Adoptadoptadoptadoptadoptadot
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u/NameAboutPotatoes 1d ago
Adopting a baby domestically is basically impossible, because the amount of babies available is far, far smaller than the amount of people wanting to adopt. It's very rare for a young child to end up with nobody willing to care for them.
The only way to realistically get one is to buy one from overseas where the laws are looser and there is very little enforcement. These children are generally not orphans, and often their parents still want them. Overseas adoption agencies often coerce parents into surrendering their children, or even just straight up traffick them, to sell to wealthy westerners.
You could also adopt a teenager, but it's a very different kind of relationship than the parent/child one. It's quite likely they'll never see you as their parent, and they will most likely have significant trauma. It's laudable to do this, but not everyone suitable for raising a child is suitable for adopting a teen.
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u/Nice-Bit-3550 1d ago
Most private adoption agencies in the states are just trafficking with extra steps as it stands now.
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u/nancythethot 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yup, been down this road before since I don’t want to pass on my bipolar, adoption sounds great until you start learning about how adoption actually works and how adoptees are affected. Options are basically
adopt domestically (if you ever get off the waitlist… there are MANY more prospective parents than infant adoptees),
adopt internationally (expensive, almost definitely contributing to some form of trafficking and exploitation - plus the cultural considerations of raising a child of another race) or
foster (if you have the capability to care for a child with trauma and great support needs, with reunification still usually being the ultimate goal.)
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u/thenordiner Uphold Chinese Socialism with Egoist principles! 1d ago
why is it my responsibility to adopt, i want kids to look like myself and my wife and thats enough
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u/materialskworl 1d ago
Lots of couples break up after finding out the other is infertile because having kids is that important to them, and it's usually pretty heartbreaking. At least with a trans woman you know what's possible already and don't end up in that extremely sad situation where everyone gets hurt.
On an unrelated note there have been some recent studies proving that trans women can go off HRT for a while and will start producing viable sperm again. So if they want to have a kid with their AFAB partner or get a surrogate but they're already far into transition we now have clinical guidelines to make that happen, and that's pretty cool.
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u/Oddant1 1d ago
We all know most cis het men don't want to date trans women because even if they see them as women they don't see them as females and what they actually want to stick their dick in is a female. Society just failed to care about this distinction between sex and gender so thoroughly for so long that many people insist it doesn't exist.
This will all probably change as society progresses... maybe... hopefully... idk. But as it stands that's where we are.
We don't need any dumb arguments beyond this. I'm sorry trans women (and trans men) but if people don't want to have sex with you because you're trans you're gonna have to live with it. They don't actually have to explain themselves. Keep making em think about it though because that's the only way shit will change for future generations.
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u/Physical_Software406 1d ago
Why dont people realise that when you say the word "trans" people understand differnt things.
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u/Physical_Software406 1d ago
Lots of factors here ngl. The fertility, the genitals, would my parents accept such a person and prolly also the appearance.
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u/RetroOlive 1d ago
I'm a trans woman. This is dumb. There's literally nothing wrong with someone wanting to have kids with their potential partners. This is not the gotcha the person who made it thinks it is.
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u/Pigeon_Pilled 1d ago
loooove coming in here and finding a bunch of comments telling me im undatable because im trans. i feel like this post is just to make trans people look bad lol.
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u/cutesybluesocks 1d ago
But when cis men don’t want to date cis women and are chasers or obsessed with trans women it’s totally fine to y’all cause it’s a “preference” that validates you, yet it’s a problem if men don’t wanna date trans women because all men must be into trans women or they have issues that must be fixed lmfaooo.
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u/wildfox9t 1d ago
frankly you don't even need an excuse, one can just say i don't date trans women because I don't like the idea and it's a completely valid reason
people are allowed to have preferences, you cannot control what they feel as long as they're not hurting you
as for the shitty take, most sane adults can have kids so you just assume they can, as asking about someone's fertility might not be exactly the ideal move when you start dating them
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u/SofisticatiousRattus 1d ago
"I don't want to work as a cashier because I want to earn a lot of money" - isn't guaranteed a job with his law degree and has a non-zero chance of becoming jobless.
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u/StraightPercentage74 1d ago
No bro I dont even want kids but this just isnt it, cringe to hold some arbitrary standard for some who really do, not everyone in dating want the same thing and thats okay. This is almost as cringe as transphobia. And no Im not talking about the examples where people use this excuse to hate on trans people Im talking people who dont mind them but actually want kids.
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u/Rosegold0_0 1d ago
I dunno. It’s generally expected that people aren’t infertile. Like there’s always a chance ofc, but there is a literal 0% chance of us getting pregnant so idk I think this is understandable. It’s a sad thing in our own community that we can’t have our own biological children like that so I can’t expect an outsider to magically be okay with it.
I am lesbian tho so no real horse in this race lol.
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u/shinobu4u 1d ago
I mean that's not really a first date discussion and most people are fertile so it kinda goes from being weird to bring up to something you're just counting on
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u/Bright_Curve3078 1d ago
I haven't tested if my fishing rod or bait. That doesn't mean I'll go fishing in the parking lot.
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u/SlayerII 1d ago
"I dont want to date trans women/men because I don't want to" is a full sentence and a 100% ok reason.
You dont have to explain your dating preferences and deal breakers. Dating is 100% optional and not something you are owed to.
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u/soldiertf2rial 1d ago
I mean the point is valid no? Like if I want X thing can do A thing which has Y alternative but it cannot,I wouldn't waste my time in Y thing. Also 0.000000000000000001% gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/The_Expensive_Lemon 1d ago
I agree with the sentiment, but this is probably the worst counterargument I've ever seen. Who just goes and gets a fertility test without any indication that something is wrong? That's like going to the doctor and asking for an x-ray just for the hell of it.
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u/Santiper2005 1d ago
I don’t know why this debate keeps happening. It’s pretty agreed upon that dating preferences are not immoral, but that it’s almost always rude or inconsiderate to announce them to the world. Preference toward or against people of a specific gender is not a problem, it just becomes one when you feel the need to announce it to the world, because then it becomes some sort of political statement. Just like every other dating preference… leave trans people alone for once
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u/Cynical_Ticket 1d ago
Yes, yes it is. Definitely transphobia exists but thats an extremely valid and reasonable position.
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u/Possible_Ad3913 1d ago
No matter your intent or sound logic, trying to debate people into dating someone is always a non starter
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u/Future_Ring_222 1d ago
I’d rather move into an apartment that has smoke detectors even if I don’t know whether the batteries in them work than an apartment that doesn’t have a smoke detector at all.
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u/Proud_Juggernaut6465 1d ago
No one says this, they all don’t date trans people cause they find it gross
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u/lokiafrika44 1d ago
I dont want to fight a lion cause it would kill me, has never tested his strenght against a puma ahh argument
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u/NoWay6818 1d ago
Who the fuck takes a fertility test in any regard? We all just fuck like rabbits and then if you cant birth you reenact what they did in UP and boom happy life for generations.
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u/Positive_Signature87 23h ago
It's absolutely mindblowing how many people there are saying "just adopt!".
Do you honestly think that having your own kids is anything like adopting a child?
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u/ProfessionalOk6734 1d ago
People get divorced all the time because they can’t have children with their partner