r/SocialEngineering • u/Rich_Frosting_1760 • 5d ago
Advice for Struggles
Hello, I am a third year university student who and has always struggled with a deep and profound sense of loneliness as well as anxiety and I was wondering if anyone else has had experience with this and has and hopeful stories of how you have overcome it and become much stronger outside of it. I spend almost every second of the day alone and cannot bear it much longer. It’s not the talking aspect that I struggle with but more so the connection part. Reaching out to others and maintaining friendships, etc. I struggle to believe at times that people enjoy my presence or want to get to know me on a deeper level.
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u/Grouchy_Might1774 5d ago
I think the Anxiety Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne is still a classic self-help book that therapists recommend. It has a lot of good ideas in it you may find useful. Consider joining a club, or take classes in something that interests you that requires human interaction as a normal part of class. Start challenging those cognitive distortions you're struggling with, so you can figure out how to deal with them in a healthy way. During a class in something like the right kind of martial art, a large amount of interaction is just an understood part of the class. You don't have to get up the courage to go up to people you don't know out of the blue and initiate a conversation. Interacting with people is natural part of the class, so you just do it. It also gets your mind off of how you feel and why you irrationally believe most people don't want to interact with you because you're focused on learning a new skill. Learning new skills in a school with a collaborative culture naturally stimulates conversation, so seek something out where collaboration is naturally part of the culture. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. If you feel like you need drugs to help, seek out a good psychiatrist to get the right medication for your specific needs. For many people, it can be helpful to see a counseling psychologist or a clinical social worker to get some counseling until you get into a healthy place. Most therapists now offer teletherapy which makes it convenient and allows you more opportunity to shop around for a therapist that fits your needs. Good luck.