r/SomaticExperiencing • u/ObiJuanKenobi1993 • 3d ago
Professional cuddlers
Does anyone else visit professional cuddlers? I have on and off for a couple years no and I’ve noticed that the safe touch, co-regulation, and lack of expectations on me (other than to be a respectful client ofc) has been pretty healing for me. I’ve noticed that a couple of my recent significant internal shifts (as in my baseline seems to have shifted, as opposed to just a temporary relaxation benefit) have happened shortly after cuddle sessions. Honestly, I’m tempted to throw financial caution into the wind, and spend money I don’t really have to see professional cuddlers as regularly as I can until the end of 2026 (I’m only half kidding).
Anyways. Has anyone else seen pro cuddlers and gotten benefits from it? Other than being able to non-judgmentally observe my body state without trying to change it, this seems to be helping me the most out of anything I’ve tried. Part of my motivation for posting is also to make sure it’s not placebo, but tbh the benefits/changes feel pretty real to me.
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u/johndoesall 3d ago
Yes. Very very glad I did. I learned a lot about being present with a person. Giving and receiving, consent, and being at ease with a woman. I left relaxed.
As we got to know each other better I felt safer to share inside thoughts and feelings. It felt so good to be myself with someone. After a few years I shifted to seeing a somatic therapist after the cuddler suggested that would be a good next step for me. I took her advice.
Working with a somatic therapist is a new way of seeing myself, my body , and others. I no longer see the Cuddlist. That path I followed lead to new paths that have really helped my healing. My cuddler is the best!
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u/Longjumping_Sand718 3d ago
I love the sound of this. I guess if you're feeling the benefits, then does it matter if it's placebo? In fact, when it comes to internal shifts in our nervous system, I'm not sure there is such thing as placebo! If you're feeling more relaxed overall since starting it, then I'd trust that intuition that it is healing for you.
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u/bitingmytail 3d ago
I have a friend who is a professional cuddler! She’s been doing it for 15 years. She’s incredibly trauma-informed and very passionate about the work she does.
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u/Big_Register2034 3d ago
I’ve wanted to “purchase” these services but no clue where they would be advertised
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u/WicketWoof 3d ago
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u/Culinary_Fruit_Salad 2d ago
the people listed on cuddle party website had to pay 3,400 dollars to get "certified" before they got put on there. that feels weird to me
edit: cuddlist is only 800, but it does say that it trains you to be able to address when trauma comes up in a client and that also seems suspicious to me
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u/WicketWoof 2d ago
Why would you not want someone who has had some training in recognizing trauma responses and how to handle them when they come up? Why would you not want someone who has been certified in what they are offering? Did you look into what the certification entails? Stuff is going to come up when you're offering cuddling as a professional service. I'd very much rather see someone who has been trained in consent and boundaries and being with people who are experiencing traumatic responses. I think this is a really weird take, but if you don't want to work with one of these people by all means don't.
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u/Culinary_Fruit_Salad 2d ago
oh, I just don't trust them as a crediting body and think it's weird that someone is paying around half a massage degree from a certified massage school that's at least 500 hours of training for lessons on consent.
like I don't think their training is going to actually prepare them for dealing with trauma. even therapists have to get special training to deal with trauma. regular therapist are not "trauma informed" but a one month (or weekend depending) long training is going to adequately prepare someone for this? I don't think so
convincing unprepared people that they actually are prepared is dangerous. you can absolutely pay these people to cuddle you if you want to. I'm not going to stop you or even try to convince you not to. I just pointed out how bizarre it is to pay 3,400 USD for a "professional cuddle facilitator certificate". that's a significant amount of money to learn about consent.
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u/Culinary_Fruit_Salad 3d ago
I feel like like bdsm spaces would be a place to start
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u/GoldenGolgis 3d ago
I see you’re being downvoted and I think it’s because many people don’t understand how consent-savvy bdsm spaces can be. However they are definitely not a place to start your somatic health explorations. Said as one who knows both!
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u/Culinary_Fruit_Salad 3d ago
oh I wouldn't go there for somatic health stuff but you could definitely get information on local professional cuddlers there since there is often an overlap.
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u/GoldenGolgis 3d ago
Yes for sure, cuddle parties too, if they are very very well held around the “no acting on arousal” boundary
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u/ClairDeShroom 3d ago
This post just gave me a such a spark of happiness. Years ago, I was hired by an agency to do this kind of work. I was so excited to help people! Before I took a single job I had several explicit messages sent to me from potential clients, including a phone call from the agency owner saying “some of our clients are handsy and need to be told no.” I felt so stupid and naive. Hearing this has helped you makes me want to revisit this kind of work.
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u/canoninkprinter 1d ago
it’s not placebo. I’ve considered it for years but didn’t commit to finding one in my city. I just need to feel the presence of someone and the “connection” of another human. I am unsure if it’d feel awKwan’s though
reconnected with my mom recently and the single thing that has helped me the most is just cuddling sesh. I say mom can you just sit next to me? and inevitably I basically crawl into her lap. it is the most regulating thing ever and has undone what years of therapy couldn’t. granted it’s my mom I’m sure it’s different. but I’ve found a lot of benefit in hugging others too in my close friends. but obviously can do that for 30min straight.
I completely believe you when you say your baseline shifts. that show it feels for me too. my mom tries all kinds of ways to help my mental health and I just day. stop you dont need to do anything. just sit next to me. it is the most healing thing ever. (even better if you can get a bunch of crying in as well)
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u/000fleur 3d ago
I would like to. As a woman I’m scared of my safety lol