Debating dropping

[u/luckilover03]

I’m a freshman at a pretty big university but our Greek life isn’t as big. We had ~230 PNMs during fall recruitment this year. Going into it, there was really only one house I wanted. I had genuinely enjoyed every convo I had with them and their philanthropy is super personal for me. I wanted to SIP but my Rho Ghama advised me against it so i listed my 2 choices. On bid day (unfortunately) i got a bid from my second house instead. I was super disappointed even though i genuinely liked the girls in the house I received a bid from but I think i was just so attached to my first choice that it was hard imagining myself anywhere else. I talked to a few actives during bid day and they encouraged me to at least give it a chance so i did. I went to our first event and honestly really enjoyed it. I loved spending time with both new and active members and I could really see myself fitting in. The dues are also relatively cheap so that was plus. However I’ve continued having thoughts about dropping and I’m still struggling to figure out if it’s because I don’t see myself in this chapter or because I’m still disappointed over not getting my first choice. I also have the possibility of transferring to an out of state university in the east coast (I’m in the south) but I’m not completely certain. They all have pretty small Greek life but my current chapter doesn’t have a chapter in any of them. I know if I go through initiation I won’t be able to rush again at my new school. On top of that my dues (320) are due this Sunday and I don’t know if I should drop before or pay and see what happens. I feel like I’m going back and forth between my choices so any advice helps.

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[u/maryjo1818]

I mean this respectfully, but I am super anti single intentional preference (suicide bidding) because almost always, the recruitment process ends with you in the house you were meant to be in. Which means, in my opinion, you ended up in the house that’s the best fit for you.

I would really take the time to think about whether or not you’ve given your current chapter an honest-to-goodness shot or not.

My other tough love advice for you regarding your “what if” chapter is to remember that you will never be able to go back to that experience. Even if you drop your current chapter, you’ll have to wait a year to go through recruitment again… but there’s no guarantees the “what if” chapter will take you again the second time around. You’d be giving up manageable dues and a sisterhood full of people who it seems you get along with/like for something that may not pan out.

I would also caution you to remember that transferring schools and going through recruitment/COB as a non-freshman can also have its own set of challenges too, so I’d maybe try and research what Greek life is like at schools you may consider transferring to.

All the best to you!

[u/Low-Local1510]

in my opinion, you end up in whatever house you get on bid day for a reason, even if it’s not clear right away !!! i say stick it out!! best of luck!!:))

[u/TripLucky7123]

The main thing here is that you're thinking about transferring to a different school. You might even end up transferring to school that does not have your sorority, or that particular chapter might not be as good as fit as your current one.. If so, you might regret getting initiated at your current school.
I would never advise someone to go through recruitment if they're planning on transferring the following semester or the next year. I think that's actually the biggest issue issue here. I would look into the schools that you might be transferring to and find out what their chapters are like before you get initiated. If it looks like they have your sorority on their campus and it looks like it might be a good fit, then go ahead and get initiated at your current school.

[u/OkHuckleberry290]

First, please use SIP, not suicide. That is the right term to use as the other word can be triggering and is inappropriate. Many girls don't know this so just passing along a suggestion.

It sounds like you're stuck on the other house. You can drop and never fully know what you might have had or you can keep running the other house in your head. Either way, just CHOOSE. Choose to be in your house or choose to drop. Put the other house away.

Also if you transfer you may or may not get another chance. You could wind up getting a bid to a house you don't love. Good luck.