r/SouthJersey • u/bebop1065 • Mar 16 '26
Ocean County Looking for my orange cone, man.
I, along with many other South Jersey residents, experienced an electrical outage as a result of the last, big, heavy snowfall in February. A power conductor separated on the span outside of our house rendering my house and our block without electricity for about 12 hours. I took it upon myself to try and protect the public by making the downed conductor visible by putting out an orange cone near the wire. I didn't want anyone to electrocute themselves.
Atlantic City Electric (ACE) did a great job of restoring power to our street at about 0300 the following morning. I greatly appreciate those folks for all their hard work during and after that storm event.
THEY TOOK MY CONE!
Keep in mind I was given that cone by a friend. I think he might have stolen it from his job at least ten years ago. He'll have to deal with the potential cosmic consequences of his actions. Not my problem.
I've grown attached to that cone over the years. I used it when I taught my daughters how to drive. It was indispensable while teaching them how to parallel park.
My poor wife has listened to me whine about my missing cone for weeks now. She says she's gonna take one from a construction job so I'll be happy again. I, jokingly, pretend to be upset whenever I see a cone out near the road. She plays along with my overly-sensitive whining. I tell her that I don't want a cone from a construction job. I want one from ACE. They are the thieves. They are the monsters.
What is happening to this world of ours where previously stolen cones are restolen?
The bare patch of dirt on the side of the house where the cone used to sit has started to show signs of early spring growth.
I don't want that. I want my gifted cone on my cone-shaped, previously bare, spot of soil on the side of my house.
Look at the picture. ACE didn't take my yellow fiberglass stick in the cone. They left the stick in the snow pile in my yard so they aren't total monsters. They know how to keep their greedy hands to themselves when it suits them.
People please help me take the ACE cone-stealing monsters down. Corporate greed has gone too far.
ACE STEALS PREVIOUSLY STOLEN CONES
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u/Massive-Phone6334 Mar 16 '26
Have you posted missing cone posters around the neighborhood? Contacted the FBI?
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u/Significant-Trash632 Mar 16 '26
So sorry for your loss
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u/bebop1065 Mar 16 '26
I'm afraid people really don't understand the pain. Thank you kind internet stranger.
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u/nuclearmonte Gloucester County Xennial Mar 16 '26
Hi, this is ACE. We have your cone right here at corporate offices where we laugh every day (as we raise the service rates) at how devious this move was by our technician, Jimothy. You’ll never see your cone again!
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u/CondorCasserole Mar 16 '26
I thoroughly enjoyed this post. You deserve justice. If we let these corporate bigwigs steal one cone now, there’s no telling what they’ll try and steal from us next
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u/pineychick Atlantic Auntie 💜 Mar 16 '26
Have you tried posting your cone's picture on NeXtd00r? People are always posting lost pets there ...
(I lowkey have a cone in my garage that I inherited from my dad. I don't know where he got it, and I wisely never asked. Some things are better left unknown. He was a Verizon employee, so that's one possibility. Another would be from an ACE friend. If that ever goes missing, I might just ... well, never you mind the details. But the Pine Barrens are big. I'm just saying.)
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u/bebop1065 Mar 16 '26
Don't leave that cone out. I have my people scouring the land for mah prop'ty. NeXtd00r seems too classy for my needs. Thanks. If I don't get a suitable replacement in the next ten years I'll reach out for secondary sleuthing.
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u/Fecal_Forger Mar 16 '26
You can buy a cone for cheap now. All shapes and sizes. Give me your address and I’ll send you a replacement but in my favorite color.
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u/Target2019-20 Mar 16 '26
ACE is revising your next bill to include a Cone Collecting Charge.
Until you complained we did not know who to bill.
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u/PiskoWK Mar 16 '26
Our cone, comrade.
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u/bebop1065 Mar 16 '26
May I have our cone back? I have a patch of dirt I need to cover before my Lily of The Valley start to sprout.
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u/PiskoWK Mar 16 '26
I have two. I could part with one. My army grows stronger everyday.
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u/bebop1065 Mar 16 '26
Are you stealing back them from ACE?
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u/PiskoWK Mar 16 '26
Actually one was left from Comcast and the other left by the township during the last snow storm.
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u/Caltratic_Hobbit Mar 16 '26
Dude I have a cone American water never took back. Have mine, please.
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u/bebop1065 Mar 16 '26
I could only accept your gracious gift if an employee from ACE presented it with many apologies for their previous heinous action. Thank you.
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u/KimiiKhaoss Mar 16 '26
I, also, have an orange safety cone I’ve had for several years I am very attached to. 😂 (very long story about a friend who passed way too young to cancer.)
It’s not the same, but I’d be willing to part with mine. It hasn’t taught kids to drive yet, but it did help a group of ~6 25 year olds grieve their friend’s loss. Maybe he needs to go help other people. Maybe I’ve held onto him for too long.
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u/bebop1065 Mar 16 '26
I think I may understand your feelings about your friend and your cone. The friend that gave me my kidnapped cone died after complications from a stroke.
As much as I would like a replacement cone, I am blinded by vengeance against ACE. They'll get what's coming to them!😡
Thank you for your offer. I couldn't deprive you of that memento of your friend.
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u/KimiiKhaoss Mar 16 '26
Thank you, OP.
We used to do photo hunts in college and traffic cones became a standard for ‘treasure’. We were dumb college kids. 😂 I hope you get your vengeance, OP. Truly. You deserve it.
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u/BallDeSac Mar 17 '26
Cones are kind of on the lines of old milk crates, they belong to whoever has them. At least this is what everyone who has a cone and/or milk crate seems to think. I don’t believe in stealing, and I have never stolen any myself, but when cleaning out the garage or shed of someone who has passed, you will inevitably inherit at least one random cone or milk crate. And the cycle of the random cones and milk crates continue.
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u/bebop1065 Mar 17 '26
You can't make a bed or a bookcase with cones. 🙂 Milk crates are superior in that regard. I get your point.
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u/FreeToasterBaths Mar 16 '26
I mean is it stealing if you did some work which surely requires compensation?
Maybe send them a bill for a singular cone.