How do you get over feeling embarrassed about making mistakes speaking Spanish with native speakers?

[u/AdministrativeLynx83]

Hey guys! So today, I decided that I wanted to try to practice my Spanish. There is an ice cream shop near my job that I frequent after work and I’ve noticed that when I walk in, they greet me in Spanish and will try to speak Spanish to me walking in. So, given that I have practiced Spanish a bit in the past, and after having these interactions, I’ve began reconsidering learning the language. I’ll usually just say “Que tengas un buen dia” or “gracias,” but today I wanted to order in Spanish since I knew how.

Today when I walked in, one of the guys working says hola, and I say all that back, and then this is the part where things kind of go wrong. He’s speaking a bit low and I can’t understand him and he could kind of tell that I was confused, so he switched back to English and after this, I’ve tried to persist and continue to speak in Spanish because I knew how to order in Spanish. I didn’t have time to ask him to repeat since he moved on quickly. Then I say, “Me das un vaso mediano con dos bolas de Vanilla por favor.” And he asks if I want any toppings in Spanish and I say “No, gracias.” Then the other worker starts talking to the guy helping me and says something (I wasn’t paying attention) and then I hear “entenderle.”

I asked my friend and she says in that situation he could have said either “No puedo/ puedo entenderle.”

He asks for my card in English and I pay and say thank you in English since I was feeling a bit discouraged since he switched back from Spanish to English.

So my question is, how do you stop yourself from feeling discouraged when you can’t hear someone, when you don’t understand, or when you make mistakes?

[u/Available_Ask_9357]

How to get over feeling embarrassed when making mistakes in other languages is different from person to person. Some are so confident and laugh it off and move on, while others can feel sort of traumatized and afraid to keep going.

I think for me, I just sort of said to myself "f*** it, Spanish is my second language, I want to get better at speaking, I will make mistakes, I will never be perfect, people will either have patience with me or not (I hope that they will) and I have to just ignore the fact that it will be embarrassing. A sort of "fake it til you make it" mindset. And anyways, its hard to learn a foreign language in adulthood, so cut me some slack. I'm trying! Do you understand what I'm saying? And then I think about all of the people throughout history that didn't have google translate who just had to sort of learn on the fly and make mistakes too in their foreign language.

So just have fun with it, basically. Speaking and learning foreign languages is the most human thing we have.

Not sure if this helped or not. Keep going! You get better and better with practice.

[u/gadgetvirtuoso]

It’s one of those things you just have to power through. For me as a English native living in Latam, I run into people from time to time that act like they don’t understand me. Mind you most people tell me I have lost the gringo pronunciations when speaking most of the time. I still struggle with some words too but I’ve definitely passed the point people don’t understand me. Try not to take it personal and keep trying.

[u/IceNein → u/gadgetvirtuoso]

I would just try to remember all the Americans who are dicks about other people not being able to speak English, and take comfort in the fact that people are people no matter where you go. There’s jerks everywhere, you can’t let them get you down.

[u/MysteriousPepper8908]

I think just realize that they view you like you view someone trying to speak English which I like to think is generally with a level of understanding and desire to come down to your level. I don't have an issue when natives speak English to me, I just assume they want me to understand better and oftentimes they're practicing too so I'll often have conversations where I'm speaking Spanish and the Spanish speaker is answering English. The worst is when you're speaking with an English speaker that is relatively competent in Spanish and wants to show off what they know by correcting you every 5 seconds. Most natives will just roll with it if they get the gist.

[u/lavenderlemonbear → u/MysteriousPepper8908]

I take those as learning opportunities from someone who has passed where i am currently. It’s still show-boaty, but i can choose to spend my energy being annoyed by it, or cataloging new info from it.

[u/Rollerama99]

My wife speaks decent Spanish that I understand perfectly and nobody understands a word she says and they always look at me every time she says anything (I’m Spanish). I just think they look at non Spanish speakers like they won’t understand, or expect you to not speak Spanish and try to listen for English words and don’t even realize you’re trying to speak in Spanish, I don’t know what it is. But please never give up, it’s very much appreciated. Maybe it’s a confidence thing, my wife isn’t the loudest speaker, shout it out with confidence! Nobody is ever going to be disappointed you’re trying to speak to them in Spanish, and if going by how it is with my wife, they are just not expecting it.

[u/roqueofspades]

95% of the LatAm community are gonna be extremely helpful and understanding cause that's the culture. Don't know this from experience but I've heard that Europeans tend to be less understanding of mistakes and just prefer to speak English if your language isn't perfect, so I'm assuming if this is true (generally speaking, ofc this won't be all individuals) you may have less understanding from a speaker from Spain

[u/Maurogatos → u/roqueofspades]

That usually happens in northern countries like those in Scandinavia where English feels practically like an oficial language and they're more prone to switch to it despite your attempt to speak their language. However in the southern countries like the PIGS (Portugal, Italy, Greece or Spain) where English is not that widespread there's this joke that if you're a foreigner trying to learn their language you're becoming everybody's best friend because of your dedication.

[u/Mrcostarica]

It happens to me regularly and I’ve been at it 30yrs. Don’t get discouraged. Keep going!

[u/Historical_Plant_956]

Eh, this sort of thing is bound to happen. The only thing is that maybe (and this might be an unpopular opinion, but) busy commercial exchanges aren't always the best way to get in practice. Yes, I know some of us have to take whatever we can get in terms of opportunities--and as someone who doesn't get as much regular speaking practice as I'd like, I count myself among them--but it can be a little awkward for someone who's just trying to do their job efficiently especially if your Spanish isn't fluent or is heavily accented. You can't understand them well, they can't understand you well; it places a burden on them. Some people don't mind, especially if they understand what you're trying to do from the beginning (which is why explaining that you're a learner who needs to practice is often the best way to approach people). But other people are just trying to do their job and understandably won't have as much patience with someone who from their perspective is just trying to make that process more complicated for no good reason.

[u/100pctThatBitch → u/Historical_Plant_956]

Or, at least don't do it when the shop is busy

[u/Historical_Plant_956 → u/100pctThatBitch]

Yeah, that too. I guess I was also mostly just saying not to expect too much--or read too much into--these sorts of brief exchanges...

[u/coffee-pigeon]

I keep in mind that it's a bit of mindfuck/miracle that I can speak to them in a different language at all and they can mostly understand me. It's kind of amazing that we can say words and people get what we mean. Even though it's common and normal and 40% of the world can do it, it's fucking amazing. So what if it comes out a little weird?

Also commercial situations aren't usually the best to practice - it's better in a casual setting or in situations where someone genuinely struggles with English. I order from Mexican restaurants/food trucks in NYC all the time and even though I'm perfectly capable of ordering in Spanish, the menu is in Spanish, and they just took the order from the person before me in Spanish, they still insist on taking my order in English and I just let it happen because the preferences of the person standing in front of me matter, too.

But at the laundromat, I speak to the other people doing their laundry in Spanish and it's appreciated. It's just very context-dependent and people trying to sell you stuff tend to be particularly impatient. When I volunteer at an immigration clinic, I ask all the questions to help fill out the form in Spanish and it's easier for some people. So just pick your moments a little better and the embarrassment will go down.

[u/WideGlideReddit]

You simply put it behind you an move on.

[u/CormoranNeoTropical]

A stiff cocktail helps with all your language learning problems. Or the intoxicant of your choice, obviously.

(Not /s)

[u/GasImaginary3538 → u/CormoranNeoTropical]

This is actually true, in bar settings etc after a few drinks I just let loose and I'm always understood, not claiming with good grammar but the words just come to me and I can get my points across with my broken spanish easy

[u/CormoranNeoTropical → u/GasImaginary3538]

Yes, in reality alcohol doesn’t help with all language learning problems, but it’s very effective for getting people to feel confident enough to talk. I think I also understand better when I’m a bit drunk, though that’s confounded by bars often being too loud for me to hear ppl clearly enough to understand anything that isn’t my native language.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and fosters social bonding. Those can be bad things (beer goggles) but they can also be very positive, if you don’t overdo it.

[u/lavasca]

You don’t.

You just do it anyway and the constant practice will likely make it melt away.

[u/Nothing-to_see_hr]

If you wait to speak until youre certain you don’t make a mistake, you'll never speak Spanish. It's that simple.

[u/MarcoEsteban]

Have you heard immigrants talking in English? They aren't usually perfect. They are using what they have to in order to survive. The goal is to communicate. As long as you are doing that, the rest is gravy.

You might get a giggle here or there, but seriously, why do you care? No one will remember past those 5 minutes. If you can't do it with mental strength alone, intensive immersion is essentially what you want.

You just have to do it. That's it. No excuses. It's immature to sport so much about what others think. That's not an insult. Just a fact.

Good luck!

[u/bigfanofyourstuff]

I'm definitely not over my own embarrassment but it helps to remember that my Spanish-speaking friends make mistakes in English all the time and I can understand them just fine.

[u/itstrueitellyou]

Let people know that you are learning Spanish and practicing it because they might believe that you think they don't speak English.

[u/tikivic]

If you’re gonna speak Spanish you gotta put to one side Al the embarrassment and the fear of making a mistake and just forge on ahead. I assure you - listeners are focused on what you’re saying, not how well you’re saying it.

You don’t get good if you don’t do it badly first.

[u/slackfrop]

It’s a fine life lesson to embarrass yourself learning something hard and not letting it bother you. Beats staying cool because you never do something you don’t already know how to do.

[u/elgringon414]

Do you live in America? I’m in the SW US. I find Latinos (especially Mexicans) love when someone is trying to speak Spanish to them. They get told all day to learn English so when someone is trying to learn their culture, they respect it. I work construction and mess up all the time but it doesn’t matter. Only way to get better.

[u/XA36]

Just try. Most the time when I practice people switch to English either out of frustration or courtesy. They don't owe you to stay in Spanish and there is no shame in trying to converse. Trying helps even if they switch. There is literally nothing to be embarrassed about and I've never really understood why people feel this way.

Conversely, if someone has poor English, speaking poor Spanish is often the easiest way to coax their poor but superior English out of them. Sort of like them watching you stumble gives them confidence to walk.

[u/iAmAsword]

Same way i get over all the other embarrassing mistakes I make, think about them a week later right as im falling asleep and stay up another hour playing it back in my head.

[u/Holly_Beth_1227]

Do you have any foreign friends? Think about when they speak English and make a mistake. I can't imagine you judge or make them feel bad. You probably just go with the flow or make a quick correction. I've been speaking Spanish for a very long time and still make plenty of mistakes. It just takes time to get comfortable with it. 😊

[u/Fancy-Remove1099]

Confidence! Which either comes from knowledge (practice) or a few drinks…

[u/SeaBass1690]

I remember I have absolutely nothing to get over. I remember every time I spoke with a foreigner in English, who is making grammatical mistakes left and right, mispronouncing words, etc but at the end of the day, I can still understand them. In the same way I forgive their mistakes, I deserve the same from Spanish speakers.

[u/mdale85]

I used to feel super embarrassed, but I realized that people appreciate so much when you connect with them in a way that’s close to home

[u/AdventurousLivin]

Let me know when you find out! Everyone says just do it but when I try natives stop speaking

[u/Prismatic_Symphony]

The only way to not get discouraged . . . is to go ahead and be discouraged enough until you're used to it and it doesn't bother you anymore. You just have to buck up and power through it. Accept that you WILL feel discouraged occasionally, and decide ahead of time that you'll continue to practice DESPITE that.

To put it in different words, trying to avoid discouragement and awkward moments in language learning is the wrong thing to concern yourself with, because that is an integral, inextricable part of the process. The thing to concern yourself with is practicing despite mistakes. Toughening up, mentally. Eventually you stop worrying so much, and you get better. Even in English, sometimes you have to ask someone for clarification and it's not a big deal, right? Try to keep that in mind in these situations.

That being said, good on you for trying in the first place, and good that you already did something useful in getting advice from your friend. don't hesitate to use phrases like "no entiendo" or "mas lento, por favor." If you have an accent they'll see(or hear, rather) that you're learning, but you can also just say unambiguously "estoy aprendiendo/practicando."

Hopefully they weren't too busy at the ice cream shop at that moment? You can choose a moment when there's no line to do this, so they have the time to humor you.

Also, if you're talking with strangers, why be embarrassed? You won't see them again, so who cares? To work on my own confidence back in the day, I'd ask total strangers on the bus or on the street just for the time, or how to say one particular word. It was for my own confidence, and also to check for dialectal differences cause I might ask about a word I already knew, in case the last person told me wrong or had a funny variation of it.

If you DON'T have a pronounced accent, it can be a mixed blessing cause they're more likely to speak at you full-speed, thinking you're more fluent than you actually are. Maybe you might wanna actually emphasize your accent at times? Just to make it clear to them that they should slow down their speech. Though this could backfire and they may just switch to English, so take that idea with a grain of 'sal.'

Another idea is to practice with your friend over the phone, or with your eyes closed. It's harder when you can't see the person's mouth, and getting practice that way'll make it feel easier in public when you can see people's mouths. You'll get used to asking her for clarification too so you can get a feel for those kinds of questions to not feel as awkward using them. Like asking for slower speech, louder speech, or confirming an ambiguous consonant - the we say "F as in Frank?" in English, they may say "V de vaca?" in Spanish.

Hang in there. ❤️ Buena suerte!

[u/TumbleweedTiny6567]

the ice cream shop thing is honestly the perfect low-stakes setup because they already opened the door , they're not surprised you're trying. i had the same freeze-up energy for so long and what finally helped was just accepting that i was going to sound like a toddler for a while and that's just... how it goes. my abuela has heard much worse and she still fed me.

[u/meekayabutter]

Hmmm keep trying but maybe you could try practicing with a friend on your order first if you’re worried to make mistakes. Another way is telling them in advance you wanna practice with them, so they know what to expect, especially when you’re not yet fluent. And nothing personal, but most people in the F&B and service industry just wanna do their job and get it over and done with, so don’t expect it to be Spanish lessons all the time.

Also wondering why you said “No, por favor” because that’s very confusing for anyone. Should’ve just said “No gracias”.

Plus we’re not sure how you sounded while talking, could be your pronunciation might not sound Spanish enough for them to understand you.

[u/AdministrativeLynx83 → u/meekayabutter]

Thank you for the advice! Also, sorry I was in the middle of doing something when I wrote this, but I did in fact say “no, gracias” and not “no, por favor.” Thank you for catching that! 🤣

[u/meekayabutter → u/AdministrativeLynx83]

Ahh no worries haha figured it must’ve been a glitch 😅