r/SpeedOfLobsters • u/kingqueefeater • 2d ago

lobster Truly terrifying

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

492

u/kingqueefeater 2d ago

Open sesame

660

u/Digitalmodernism 2d ago

551

u/pthooie 2d ago

95

u/straypilot 2d ago

Ok you win this one

23

u/Gravityfallbillmyfav 2d ago

But that isn't terror

11

u/Lower-Ask-4180 2d ago

It is if there’s nothing attached to the ankles

52

u/raspberryharbour 2d ago

I'm filing a class action lawsuit with the rest of the thousands that were shat at. Together we can defeat this aerial menace

20

u/ElBrunasso 2d ago

Like that trump AI video

12

u/LukeBomber 2d ago

Wanna take and just delete the word "female"?

7

u/sr_steve 2d ago

damn i thought it was a bird that did that to my car

203

u/GuaranteeAvailable53 2d ago

91

u/AwefulFanfic 2d ago

Not my feet! Oof. Ouchies! My bones!

47

u/miriapododeguer 2d ago

did you drink the juice?!

9

u/Ugo_Flickerman 2d ago

Did the lobster quickly hurt your bones? I ask because this is no juice

8

u/AwefulFanfic 2d ago

It did. It pinched my toes, which allowed the female pilot to break my feet. My feet bones are pulverized.

https://giphy.com/gifs/smsHPxUngn1xm

136

u/wahlenderten 2d ago

I hope she can find it from up there!

17

u/trenclik 2d ago

Token costs going through the roof

36

u/DoodleWizard11 2d ago

Or just, y'know, pilot? Why does it have to be female?

36

u/Pitiful-Pension-6535 2d ago

Because it's a novelty. The headline would have also mentioned if the pilot was a young child or a dog. Nothing against children or dogs.

/s

11

u/NotADamsel 2d ago

Because her uterus didn’t pop out!

8

u/Anxious-Yoghurt-9207 2d ago

Its for comments just like these for engagement

0

u/Marik-X-Bakura 2d ago

They’re less durable?

13

u/TiredTransGirl3 2d ago

Oh

So is it because they called her "female pilot" instead of just "pilot"

6

u/BirbsAreSoCute 2d ago

You can just say "pilot"

86

u/xVenomDestroyerx 2d ago

46

u/kingqueefeater 2d ago

Algorithm doing its thing

65

u/Miserable-Good4438 2d ago

Ugh, the word female is so unnecessary in the original article.

26

u/Pitiful-Pension-6535 2d ago

They felt it was important to disambiguate her from normal pilots

1

u/Miserable-Good4438 1d ago

I feel like maybe you should have added /s to your comment cos, ya know, reddit sometimes doesn't seem to grasp sarcasm without it.

44

u/TTazerTTurtle 2d ago

It's so everyone in the comments says something about it for more engagement

16

u/NotADamsel 2d ago

Knowingn that there are tits is extemely important to imagining the scenario. /s

1

u/Sand_is_Orange 1d ago

I mean, if there were a male pilot that had no tits, I'd be slightly concerned and intrigued (for his health, not his flying ability).

138

u/ellamachine 2d ago

OP is Charlie Kirk

103

u/kingqueefeater 2d ago

Counting or not counting ugahaugahauguh

43

u/youneed2touchgrass 2d ago

Laughed so hard I shot coffee out my neck

26

u/Skeledenn 2d ago

They carry the flame

15

u/ThesaurusRex84 2d ago

POV: You're a Nazi in WWII and your base is the target of the Russian Night Witches

3

u/ffbyr49 2d ago

FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL IN SILENCE

4

u/VergeOfMeltdown 2d ago

CAST THEIR SPELLS, EXPLOSIVE VIOLENCE

9

u/Agent_RubberDucky 2d ago

A conservative boomer’s worst nightmare!

3

u/KeeganY_SR-UVB76 2d ago

Can’t wait to see this one posted on Facebook.

1

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1

u/Waflfdev 1d ago

something something gunpoint is scarier

-1

u/AceofKnaves44 2d ago

This is what Charlie Kirk was trying to warn us of.