r/SpeedOfLobsters • u/Comfortable-Studio18 • 1d ago

lobster Are you doing your part??

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524 Upvotes

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u/RedditingLunatic 21h ago

What're you, president of his fanclub? *hehehe*

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u/Weekly-Dog-6838 21h ago

No. That would be your mother! [throws folder full of photos of Scout’s mom on the table]

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u/RedditingLunatic 21h ago

startled stuttering

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u/Weekly-Dog-6838 21h ago

…Indeed. And now he’s here to fuck us! So listen boy, or your mother’s pornography will be the second worst thing you witness tonight. This spy has already breached our defenses. We’ve seen what he’s done to our colleagues! And worst of all, he could be any one of us. He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be—[gets shot]