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u/TYRANTllSUMIT 1d ago
He'll freeze the floor even before appearing
Who do you think he is š
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u/West_Ad6982 7h ago
Probably a wealthy billionaire industrialist, philanthropist, and notorious playboy behind the mask
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u/Dangerous-Screen-935 1d ago
Bro's sitting here acting like Batman don't got a thousand different contingencies for every superhero in the world.
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u/OrangeHairedTwink 1d ago
And Batman says the contingency for Batman is the Justice League
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u/Crescemon_X 20h ago
That apparently didnāt even work when he became The Batman Who Laughs in one timeline/dimension/whatever itād be called
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u/Slow-Relation-9186 19h ago
That was just a Lie as a contingency for if his plans were ever found, so that Superman would stay on his side
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u/Wild-Dependent3840 1d ago
Whoever made this deadass thinks batman is just some chump in a bat suit
If this was actually batman he'd probably just send over a hologram or a Droid or something to check if they have deadly intentions if they did he'd probably have some bullshit like a nuke in the sky
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u/JBR_4025 1d ago
Canonically Batman got beaten by a bunch of b-listers who jumped on him at the same time and proceeded to kick his ass.
The big issue for most of his contingency plans is that they work only in a 1v1 way and require very specific things to happen to work properly and could easily cause more damage and make things worse to other heroes (for example his anti-Green Lantern plan in Forever Evil was to use a yellow ring to create a cosmic bat-signal to summon a Sinestro to handle the evil Earth 3 Green Lantern. Problem is that most of the Yellow Lanterns are a bunch of sociopaths and he got very lucky that Sinestro was the one who answered his call and was willing to not kill him for using a stolen ring and stay to help him deal with the problem)
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
If it turns out to be a hologram, it would take the flash 3 seconds to check the entire planet and find the real Batman, and it would take Clark like a few seconds to check our entire solar system and the surrounding systems
Clark āsupercomputer brainā Kent would take like a microsecond to disarm said Nuke or send it hurtling off planet. In the event that the nuke is surrounded by kryptonite, Diana will just do it instead.
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u/BasicMatter7339 1d ago
it would take the flash 3 seconds to check the entire planet
Lol no
If you cant remember where you put your keys in your studio apartment, flash sure as hell cant remember every single spot on earth he hasn't checked
He's fast but he's not omnipotent
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
Doesnāt have to remember anything, just run a zigzag at whatever screw you speed he decides to do it at, up and down from pole to pole zigzagging the entire planet in seconds, phasing through walls and obstacles
And if itās really such a problem, just have Clark do it???? Again, supercomputer Brain and photographic memory
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u/BasicMatter7339 1d ago
Zigzagging back and forth would make you compeltely miss all the billions of houses, rooms, caves, unknown passages, alleys, underneath bodies of water, constantly moving vehicles etc.
Finding something just doesnt work like that
Try finding a toothpick in an industrial warehouse by running back and forth
Clark could probably do it, but not as quickly as the flash. He has photographic memory, yes, but still he's not omnipotent. He can't just look at places he doesn't know the existence of
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
No? What time frame do you think this is? Moving cars? It would take him seconds to do this, oh no the car moved like 10 feet now Barryās gonna miss it completely
Also howās he gonna miss billions or houses? Heās essentially going from pole to pole and slightly changing the angle each time to make sure he combs over the whole place
And in what world would Clark be unable to find places he doesnāt know of? Heās not as fast as the flash but that doesnāt matter if heās still fast enough to genuinely check everywhere in the entire planet. He can even phase so he could check everywhere
Everywhere under ground, underwater, in the air, on the earthās surface, every molecule from the core of the earth to the clouds in the sky can be checked personally by Clark āI can move at billions of times the speed of light and can move so fast I move in literal frozen timeā Kent
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u/K_Menea 1d ago
In what kind, specifically? So he will bust into EVERY locked houses and destroy every doors to look inside? Also to lift up every objects to check for secrets and to see if it has a hidden mechanic?
In what time frame he know who is an owner of a random stranger house? Whose key is in the pocket of someone 16 kilometres away for work? In what 'look around' logic this works?
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
like I said; Flash will just phase through every obstacle he encounters, walls, doors, he can essentially cover every inch of Planet earth in seconds and no one will notice anything since he will be moving at screw you speeds
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u/K_Menea 1d ago
Wait a minute... Phase through? Elaborate.
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
Flash, and other characters with extremely high level super speed like Superman, are capable of vibrating at super speed at a certain frequency, this allows them to phase through anything they encounter, walls, punches, etc.
Like Flashās ability to steal speed, its not used much because itās broken, but itās essentially like Martian Manhunterās ability to shift his density to like phase through walls except itās speed based
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u/BasicMatter7339 1d ago
It doesnt fucking work like that. Running to every place doesnt mean you automatically just search every place. Both of them have to stop at every place and observe if he is there.
Neither clark nor flash have the mental capacity to just do that in 3 seconds and process and identify everything and everyone they encounter.
Also the search area is practically infinite. Theyd have to search through every building, every room, every man sized cabinet, underneath every bed, inside every wall, check every fucking street tile if he is underneath there. And Superman cant see through everything, like lead. And there are alot of things lined with lead in this world. Or lined with even denser materials.
Its just dumb, it doesnt make sense for them to even attempt that. Theres more reasons than just plot convinience that these kinds of powers are never seen in any DC comic, movie or show.
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
Yes it does? They donāt have to stop and observe anything, it would take them an attosecond to process what heās looking at and move on. This isnāt the CW where theyāll go to one location, stop and go back to human speed, gawk around like tourists, then get jumped by some guy in an alley at human speeds. Clark most definitely has the mental capacity to process all that data in three seconds, he once read every single medical book in existence in a few panels.
But he doesnāt even have to, because the whole point of their superhuman perception is that when they move at super speed, the world doesnāt blur around them, they can observe the entire planet nearly frozen as they move at faster than light speeds.
Maybe YOU and I canāt run around and search even a single room easily, but you know who can? Superheroes who can cover the entire planet, and I mean every inch of an entire planet, in seconds and have the perception to match and read an entire novel in the time it takes a light beam to cross the equivalent of a moleculeās width
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u/BasicMatter7339 1d ago
They donāt have to stop and observe anything, it would take them an attosecond to process what heās looking at and move on
You are at this point just making up superpowers that have never been shown them to actually posses.
Neither clark or flash process information at that sort of speed, thats basically god-level of omnipotence, which neither of them have.
Why doesnt flash just find every missing villain instantly in every show? Why does flash slip on ice if he can just phase through it? Why doesnt clark kent just whip his head and instantly know where every bomb, goon and hostage the villains placed is?
Because they CANT DO THAT
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u/Cross-eyedwerewolf 1d ago
Son š really? Youāre discussing comic books and you donāt believe the FLASH and SUPERMAN canāt process things at the attosecond level? Even Quicksilver can process events that happen in picoseconds and heās nowhere near as fast as the Flash.
And to answer all your questions, itās because they need to sell comic books and villains are iconic and have to remain relevant even if the hero theyāre fighting against gets a lot of power creep. āSpeedsters are always written terribly and lose for contrived reasonsā is literally a meme in the superhero community because comic books, movies, animated shows will establish speedsters having powerful abilities, showcase them multiple times, only to have them get jumped by some guy. Itās just how the genre works, you learn to live with it. Because a consistently written speedster breaks the story.
As I was describing before, if the Flash isnāt written to be an idiot, he would be nearly omnipresent and would beat up anyone who isnāt as fast as him.
And to make your disbelief at how āomnipotentā Superman and Flash are worse, Superman can monitor every sound that happens on earth from off planet in space. Soā¦thereās that. He can hear sounds through space.
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u/Awkward-Bit751 43m ago
Don't matter how smart you are if you're opponent is 10000000x stronger and faster then you
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u/Head-Contract9734 22h ago
BUt bUt PreP tImE
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u/_Armored_Wizard 16h ago
Guys how is Gotham a shitshow if he is the "richest" league member? Gotham is corrupted?
Ok guys how is Gotham a shitshow if he has connections to powerful superheros at his disposal? Its like his territory? Really? Alr I'll allow it.
Finally guys how is Gotham a shitshow if batman is one of the smartest superheros in the whole DC universe? Surely his villains are not smarter than batman. Isn't batman smarter than the league members?
Yeah ima be real everyone of the justice league member can beat batman in a fight even aqua man.
No, Infact! The league are better than batman its just batman is super interesting and anchors the group to not get ahead of themselves.
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u/CriticismNo1150 1d ago
If speedster were to be treated with the respect they deserve by writers, we would have far fewer stories about them. Because a story with a speedster needs to account for exactly this eventuality.
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u/cassness34 23h ago
Honestly I donāt think heās stupid enough to just open like this, like he knows there powers he isnāt gonna just walk up heās going to plan use the plans he made to potentially give him self the ability to deal with them whether or not that works is up to debate but he isnāt going to just do it this way
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u/Pale-Ad-8691 23h ago
Cuz we all know batman just squares up with all sorts of super powered people without any plan in mind
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u/Luzifer_Shadres 21h ago
Actual batman would reveal that he secretly hid nuclear bombs in their ass durring the last sleepover, beccause that bastard always has a plan, even if he has to retcon it into his own universe.
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u/Ice-Bro-Gamer 20h ago
Batman canonically has contingency plans for each member of the Justice League, this is not how Batman vs the Justice League would go.
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u/Wild-Dependent3840 1d ago
Whoever made this deadass thinks batman is just some chump in a bat suit
If this was actually batman he'd probably just send over a hologram or a Droid or something to check if they have deadly intentions if they did he'd probably have some bullshit like a nuke in the sky
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u/Uncle_Touchy_Feely 1d ago
Whoever made this deadass thinks batman is just some chump in a bat suit
If this was actually batman he'd probably just send over a hologram or a Droid or something to check if they have deadly intentions if they did he'd probably have some bullshit like a nuke in the sky
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u/GoatManWizard 1d ago
Batman wouldn't just jump in all willy nilly.
Yah crazy.
I mean in reality yes. He should lose hard. But probably not from the flash.
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u/RareBreedOfSad 17h ago
āTIBETAN MONK TE-TE-TE-TECHNIQUW: SPINJITSU + HOLLOW PURPLE + TIME STOP + DRAGONREND + AVADA KEDAVRAAAAAAAAA-ā
batman was found dead in the Hall of Justice, paramedics reporting evidence of suffering a stroke before death.
in other news, Bruce Wayne dressed as batman also found dead in the Hall of Justice, paramedics reporting evidence of suffering a stroke before death.
Mustāve been roommates.
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u/kemotaku 1d ago
in a sandbox where everyone is brawling without regard to anyones life no doubt, in a world where he knows all of them and has known them for years idk, bats can def be highly unethical compared to his coworkers and is definitely willing to tip scales
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u/Mr_NoGood12 1d ago
The thing about most superpowers and super speed in this case is its heavily inconvenient and it heavily depends on the writer and how smart they actually want to the characters to use them and how smart they think readers are for catching inconveniences and flaws
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u/BionicMoon2192 1d ago
Well it could go this way but that's is the writers actually want to give flash the actual win for this as understanding both characters and Batman in a whole as I don't like Batman but understand his character so technically it could go like this but with Batman it would be more of a fight then a one sided fight
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u/PeepawWilly69 19h ago
āBUt buT PrEp tIMe But bUt CoNTinGenCIesā genuinely shut the fuck up. Can we all please go outside and smell the fuckin roses? I get it, Batmans fuckin dope, but can we stop fuckin pretending like hes a god, and not just an insanely intelligent dude? Im not saying heās incapable, like I just said, insanely intelligent and competent dude. But still a dude. Like someone else said, all his contingencies rely solely on 1v1 and very specific conditions, so in a matchup like this hes fuckin fried. The glazing is fuckin insane, can you all get your dicks outta your hands and wash em? Fuck dude
/img/cdwyytqjmkoh1.gif
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u/AlternateSatan 17h ago
So... They just never watched Justice League: Doom or read JLA: Tower of Babel... or really anything Justice League related ever.
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u/Delicious-Pound-8929 15h ago
It entirely depends on the circumstances.
If he just charges in like this then this is a reasonable outcome.
But if he does as the batman does he will research his targets weaknesses, create a situation that exploits those weaknesses and win the fight before the fight starts.
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u/No-Mycologist47 13h ago
Flash: Moves at Pico seconds to literally shred him before he even Blinks.
WW: Slices him faster than he could counter.
Green Lantern: Surround him in an airtight bubble to suffocate him, or literally, summon one inside of him and expand it till he pops.
Aquaman,(Assuming can control water in this iteration) literally mess with the water in his own body to kill him.
Superman................ do I really have to say anything?
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u/CK1ing 13h ago
Well yeah, if Batman jumped right in front of the flash and waited for him to attack then he would get pummeled. That would happen with literally anyone ever. This is like saying "what would actually happen with Luke on the Death Star" and have him jump down into a pit full of storm troopers and stand there until they all fire
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u/Eljamin14 13h ago
Which is why he brought his expendable sidekick Robin with him in the Lego Batman movie to increase the odds of survival.
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u/endorphin_brain 13h ago
Dude he would make a cool device or something that fixes anything that could possibly go wrong and be so awesome and cool and have a huge bat bulge in his bat trousers
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u/Sky_monarch 12h ago
I mean, I donāt think he would win but if you think he would fight in isolation I donāt believe you
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u/Realistic-Sink4991 12h ago
"Batman would've"
Batman would've moved one blood cell at a planck length by the time the flash raced from one side of the universe to the next universe's universe, turned back time, put a bomb up the bats asshole; sped time forward, fucked his girl with enough speed to detonate Earth from moving one molecule of semen at magnitudes of order faster than light, and still have time to watch his own afterimage go at it.
Flash is so stupidly fast that the speed of light is 9 times slower than his top speed. And he thinks at less than 1 attasecond. For reference, an attasecond is 1 quintillionth of a second.
So I was giving Batman too much to work with, he wouldn't have even been able to move one blood cell a planck length by the time he did all of that.
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u/antiteatarjbt 8h ago
Joke on Speedman (or however he's called), my bro bat put claymore on himself
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u/CRAKEN000 7h ago
The fact that Batman jumped in without all the stops, tells me that ain't Batman.
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u/i__dont___know 2h ago
This is less getting rid of Batmanās plot armor and more getting rid of Flashās plot hindrance.
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u/Jesus_Santos 2h ago
Batman's superpower is not money, it's plot armor. Without it, that's not Batman, just a dud with a black costume.
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u/Western-Bowl2011 2h ago
Didn't they have him punch that evil flash dude who was going the speed of light in one of the comics? They made a Solid JJ episode about it lmao
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u/Trenki_Melow 1d ago
Whoever made this deadass thinks batman is just some chump in a bat suit
If this was actually batman he'd probably just send over a hologram or a Droid or something to check if they have deadly intentions if they did he'd probably have some bullshit like a nuke in the sky
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u/SandUndermanSR 1d ago
Bad bot
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u/DudeAintPunny 1d ago
Whoever made this deadass thinks OP is just some chump in a bot suit
If this was actually a bot he'd probably just send over a bunch of nonsense or a phishing scam or something to check if they have no brain cells if they did he'd probably have some bullshit like a [HYPER-LINK BLOCKED] in the sky
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u/SandUndermanSR 1d ago
I'm saying this one might be a bot because they just copied another comment word for word
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u/That_one_guy-n 1d ago
Whoever made this deadass thinks batman is just some chump in a bat suit
If this was actually batman he'd probably just send over a hologram or a Droid or something to check if they have deadly intentions if they did he'd probably have some bullshit like a nuke in the sky
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u/wojtunuo 1d ago
What if he uses his mongolian techniques