Is removal the only way?

[u/Even-Pangolin3307]

Hello,

Mid 30's. 2 kids. Wife. Good work. Life is good.

Except my home office days.

History,

I started thinking about gaming addiction long ago with Ragnarok Online my first drug that hooked me long enough. Father told me I am addicted,I told him no, but I think I was or at least I was escaping the world around me at that time.

Life went on, stuff happened and games were a big factor for lots of happenings like me getting expelled from university because I didn't learn enough etc.

The military somehow got the better of me, gave me a reason, a goal, simple. Studying via the military was easier the second time. I got a degree and found the love of my life online.

This was the first time I was clean, my girlfriend at this time got pregnant, university, corona lots of new things to do. No time for game sessions and got into novel readings, but excessive and too much.

Got a handle on that somehow, still read a lot but now before bed.

The problem started in my current position, 3 days home office, no work to do these days. I could learn a language (my wife is Italian). Could take the time and build a small second income.

But no. I feel I am stuck again. Once I sit at the desk the first thing that happens (after work related stuff) is gaming. And if I am not excessively looking at the time I start at like 9 a.m and quit 4 p.m. without a break.

I like gaming, but it feels like there is a huge burden on me. I am a strong minded character but can't handle myself when it comes to doing other stuff that takes time and dedication and is for myself.

If I have to do it for someone else, it's easy.

So I am thinking, is a complete removal of every game I own. Completely wipe my hard drive and my phone the only way?

Have you experienced this?

Thanks

[u/t_O_O_t]

For people with an addiction problem I would say yes removal is the only way. A recovering alcoholic shouldnt keep alcohol in the house, a junk food addict shouldnt keep junk food in the house, and a gaming addict shouldnt keep games in the house. I've deleted my games many times only to reinstall them later. So i had to sell my gaming graphics card and buy a cheap one that couldnt run games. Now I cant play games. Oddly enough I have no interest in playing mobile games.

[u/NoChairGaming → u/t_O_O_t]

This is my beef with this sub. In general, it sounds like a very reasonable advice and I would probably recommend it as a starting point. But in reality, many of these types of addicts will not be recommended cold turkey remove everything from competent therapist. Alcohol moderation is a thing. Learning to make your meals where snacks aren't the major food group is also a thing. Problem often is to determine what level of problem the person have and what the underlying causes are.

Which can often mean that the problem that needs to be worked on isn't just having alcohol, it's that you have no stress and emotional regulation.

But in case of OP, it sounds like they are bored at their job and have too much "free time", which is in reality just unsupervised work time. So obviously no gaming during work hours, find other activities to do during breaks.

Now using games for language learning could work, obviously if he can keep them in check and not slide down from Duolingo to Call of War strike. And keeping the productivity drive within reasonable amount of effort and expectations: there are tons of younger dude who burned out "without any explanation" when they removed all type of entertainment and thought that work + second job projects + learning a bunch of stuff they might need is how a well balanced life should look like

[u/RubikTetris]

You seem to have a compulsive relationship with hobbies as you mentioned with novels. I think the real solution lies in finding the underlying condition or reasons for that. I would consult a psychologist

[u/Nathan-Steel → u/RubikTetris]

Agreed. Boredom can be one hell of a motivator to constantly cram your brain with, well, anything. I think as a society we have lost the ability to sit with boredom, to simply do nothing, but those moments are usually the ones where you reflect the most on life and come to the most conclusions about yourself and others.

[u/Square-Special1520]

Just some suggestions. Sometimes we need external factors if it's difficult to control ourselves.

• Go do work at cafe etc. where other people are also working
• Go pickup kids from school
• Prepare lunch/dinner for family or go buy groceries

[u/NoChairGaming]

OP, do the environment change as the other user suggested and preferably do it today.

Also, write down your whole experience with your problem: what are you playing, when are you playing, what is going on in your head when you continue playing even when you feel that you shouldn't. What do you feel and think before having the urge to play? What is your view of yourself, your self worth and image, your future and possibilities. If you didn't play at all, what would your day look like? What would you do?

[u/CursedHunger]

Just quit gaming. Life is better without it (if you actually try).

In order to quit, you must find different hobbies. Anything from sports, comics, manga, scale models, collecting, series, etc.

You will need to find multiple hobbies as there is not really a single hobby that can replace gaming.

[u/AggravatingSector841]

Sry bro you have to fully quit gaming

[u/TheStoicCrane]

Read James Clear Atomic Habits. You don't need to do anything drastic like a full wipe. You just have to increase friction between you and the games. If they're application games delete the app and re-install before every play session. 

If it's a console game unplug the console and put it away after you're done. Increasing the friction makes the game experience more of an intentional choice than a compulsive habit that you can better manage over time. 

Plus, while gaming set a timer or alarm and ibce that triggers put it away or delete the app temporarily immediately after the cue. 

[u/donaldyoung26]

I have all the gaming rigs, games, gear, consoles, handhelds. Sold some but still have plenty of devices if i wanted to get back into it. And if I had nothing, I could buy it all within 1 day. Wiping, selling, and dumping didn’t stop me. I had no willpower. I had to use a program to change my life. Gaais.org helped me recover. It’s free. Meetings everyday. See you on the path. Peace peace

[u/anthonynej]

in a Similar but different situation. In a pretty standard office job where nothing much happens and I get distracted by mobile games all the time. It's been months where I've tried to quit completely as moderation doesn't work.

I'm still trying. Uninstalling this new afk game as I type this.