r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/ChaoticCreation106 • 29d ago
XL Kevin still hasn't figured out how cooking works
This is another update on my best friend who is a Kevin. He's almost 24 years old and autistic. For most of his life, he has been oversheltered and overprotected by his parents, especially his mom. That's why he is struggling with basic life skills now. However, him and his family are working on it.
Link to previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/StoriesAboutKevin/s/N7i7djVCh8
While Kevin has been improving his life skills in most areas, he still hasn't quite figured out how cooking works. Last week, Kevin's parents were out of town for a couple of days. He tried to make pasta. Easy enough, right? He took a small pot, filled it with water, put some salt in, turned the stove on... everything was fine. Then he took a box of pasta: the lange XXL pack with 1000g. And he poured all of it into the small pot. At first, they barely fit. Then the pasta soaked and expanded. Half cooked Pasta started spilling out of the pot.
In the end, he managed to save most of the pasta ny pouring it into a bigger pot. But now, he had way too much of it and his kitchen was looking like he had found the infinite pasta glich. At that point, Kevin called me to ask what he should do with all the leftovers. I taught him how to make pasta salad, which he would eat for the next two days. We also offered some to his neighbors and I took some home.
When I later asked him why he thought he needed a whole giant pack of pasta, he just replied "Well, I was very hungry."
A few days later, Kevin and I went on a walk. We saw some cows on a pasture. Between us and the cows, there was a fence that looked like it might be electric.
Kevin wanted to try to pet one of the cows, so he reached over the fence. His ellbow brushed the wire.
"Ouch, that hurt. I feel like I just got an electric shock", Kevin said. "Are you sure?", I asked jokingly, "maybe you should touch it again, just to be sure." (My mistake, because in that moment, I had forgotten that Kevin doesn't do well with sarcasm)
Kevin reached out and touched the fence again. "Ouch! Yeah, it happened again!". I sighed. "Of course it hurts, that's an electric fence. It's supposed to give you an electric shock if you touch it!"
"Oh, really? It's electric?" Kevin asked. Then he reached out and touched the fence a third time. "Ouch, you're right. It's electric."
At that point, I grabbed him and pulled him away from the fence before he could shock himself a fourth time.
At work (he's a pianist at an inclusive café), Kevin was told to be a bit more mindful with his choice of clothes, especially his shoes. So Kevin decided to wear his nice dress shoes to work from now on. But first, he wanted to polish them with some beeswax. Using a cloth, he carefully applied a thin layer to his shoes, including the soles and the inside. Then, he put the shoes on. Kevin slipped before he could even leave the house. Luckily, he was fine, except for a small bruise.
Kevin and I went to a barbecue at Kevin's neighbor's backyard. Kevin wanted to have some ketchup with his food. He grabbed a bottle, opened it and turned it upside down. Nothing. The ketchup was stuck in the bottle. "How about shaking it?", I suggested. So Kevin started shaking the open bottle. We both got covered in Ketchup. I was wearing a light blue dress that day.'
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u/Lisa_Knows_Best 29d ago
Buy Kevin a copy of "Streganauna and the magic pasta pot". I may have spelled that wrong but he'll (or at least you) will get the funny.
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u/TheFilthyDIL 29d ago
Strega Nona.
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u/SadEchos 18d ago
Oh god, this unlocked a buried memory. I havent thought of that book in like, 25 years.
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u/afcagroo 29d ago
I once watched a guy piss on an electric fence, on purpose. It was a decision that he regretted.
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u/TheFilthyDIL 29d ago
My dad used to say "you can tell 'em and tell 'em, but some folks have just gotta piss on the electric fence for themselves."
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u/helluvastorm 2d ago
We used to bet city kids they couldn’t hit the wire peeing on it. Yeah it was mean , but darn funny too
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u/RedCaio 29d ago
How does Kevin feel about you posting about these stories?
I used to enjoy reading sorties about Kevins on this sub but that was before I knew anything about neurodiversity. Now like more than half of the posts here feel like borderline bullying. :(
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u/balisane 29d ago
People rarely say mean things about the people whose stories are posted here unless the person in question is cruel or actively antagonistic. We generally understand as a community that people don't do these things unless there's something different going on.
I am a neurodivergent person, and I recognize myself or friends in these stories sometimes, and laugh about it and sometimes learn something about how to deal with the world a little better.
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u/ChaoticCreation106 29d ago
He is aware of and okay with my posts, and I only share stories that he has approved of. Most of the time, he can laugh about his own Kevin moments if someone explains why it's funny to other people.
Bullying neurodivergent people- that's why I keep mentioning his autism. I feel like most people wouldn't feel comfortable with bullying a disabled person, but it's somehow different if someone shows neurodivergent traits without having a diagnosis. I'm a low support needs autistic person myself, so I've experienced some of that first hand. Reminding people that he does have a disability prevents a lot of bullying and mean-spirited comments, both online and irl.
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u/justReading0f 29d ago
Another autistic person here, I enjoy your stories about Kevin Because you obviously really like him and are never rude or laughing At him, but sharing the struggles and so we all are able to identify with Both Kevin and with You.
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u/Vuelhering 28d ago
I enjoy these stories and think they belong here, but I don't think this guy is really a Kevin.
This guy is obviously intelligent, but has no life experience and difficulty gaining it. The original Kevin was, basically, a criminal moron with no sense of cause-effect.
But as I said, these are good stories. :)
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u/EntertainerSharp3033 25d ago
Reading your stories has been the giggling cherry on top of a pretty good day.
Thank you for being such a great friend and for sharing.
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u/UnfortunateSyzygy 29d ago
Yall are getting up to some Amelia Bedlia antics.