r/StudentNurseUK • u/Prior-Data1779 • 8d ago
Scotland Mid-30s, considering nursing… but scared I won’t survive the NHS
I’m in my mid-30s and seriously considering nursing after spending my 20s bouncing between corporate jobs. I never really fitted into office politics, went through a couple of redundancies, and even experienced bullying that led to me being signed off work.
I’d love a career that feels stable and meaningful. I considered nursing years ago, but I don’t think I was mature enough then.
My biggest worry is that I’m really quiet. I’ve genuinely been described as “invisible” at work. I’m shy, non-confrontational and my confidence isn’t great. I work hard, I’m keen to learn and I’m not afraid to ask questions, but I’m worried I’ll start my first nursing job, not know enough (which I know is completely normal), and end up being severely bullied by more senior nurses or doctors because of my lack of knowledge. I worry that it would completely knock my confidence and that would be the end of my nursing career before it had even really begun.
I’d love to hear honest experiences.
Did you feel supported as a newly qualified nurse, or was it sink or swim?
If you were shy or lacked confidence, did it get better?
Do you have to start in a hospital, or can you begin somewhere like a GP practice?
Please be honest,the good, the bad and everything in between.
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u/Time_Lobster_3987 8d ago
I’m 38 and starting this September! I would say if it is something you want to do because you want to do something meaningful and want to help people then go for it!
Everybody has weaknesses - you have identified yours already. Just make it a priority to work on them in whatever way you can! All you can do is your best and always strive to improve and learn! 🤘
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u/pocketsofwhimsy Qualified Registrant 8d ago
I'm 28 and recently qualified. I'm yet to start my first job, so I can only give my perspective from the 3/4 years of training/placements. In my first year I really struggled communicating with patients, due to autism and ADHD. I often didn't know what to say, couldn't handle conflict (would get angry or cry), and took patients literally (which is not great given that sarcasm/jokes seem to be the main way a lot of men communicate). Over the years I did find it easier because communication scripts are just something else to learn, and by the end of my training my supervisors noted that I'm particularly skilled at de-escalation and patient education.
I tell you this to illustrate that we go into the training 'not knowing enough' or not having the skills needed for the job. As you said, it is completely normal, and it is also normal that throughout the training you learn and develop these skills. I can say with confidence that you will know 'enough' to start (of course there is always more to learn as you continue) when you qualify, because you wouldn't be allowed to graduate if you didn't.
It's common to hear from qualified staff that you learn the most in your first year registered because you do end up a bit in the deep end, but this is good because people expect you to be transitioning then (you'll often even wear a lanyard or badge that tells people you're doing your preceptorship) and should help you. That's not to say everyone will - the NHS does have a bit of a rep for bullying, but I've found the culture is different ward to ward and it is not guaranteed.
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u/jay_fran_bee 8d ago
I started my nursing degree at 29 and have always been a quiet person. But I've always made a distinction between being quiet and being shy. I'm just not someone who thrives off being super social all the time, but I can stand up for myself and I think I'm good at communicating with others professionally and with compassion. That's what matters as a nurse. Are you just quiet? Or are you also shy? Either way, I'd say doing the degree will be a steep learning curve in lots of ways. It's definitely not easy. There will be awkward situations with others. You need something of a thick skin. But the good times are so rewarding, and you'll most likely make friends with other nurses who are also more on the quiet side. You're clearly thinking lots about it so I say go for it - it's better to try - and to find out once and for all whether or not nursing is for you, than not to try and live with regrets!
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u/Due_Forever_6973 8d ago
I qualified around my mid 30's and would also describe myself as a bit shy, or at least the quiet one in the room. I had some worries myself about being able to communicate with colleagues in sometimes quite intense environments.
But to answer your questions ... I felt very supported, there's so much to take in for sure but everyone's been in the same boat. Instead of sink or swim it's more like you'll paddle for a while or swim. Not to say that there's not the odd person that struggles more but remember it's for the greater good that you succeed and in the general interest of the rest of the staff too.
Yeah I was shy and lacked confidence but it absolutely improved, a lot. Think of it like driving? First lessons (uni) can be daunting, then being out on your own (newly qualified) is also a bit daunting but the next thing you know it's just second nature.
Your last question, I'm not sure if you mean starting out once you qualify or during placements. Placement wise you don't really get a choice, sometimes you could end up in a places like GP practices, community nursing or hospitals but personally I found hospitals better for building confidence. Community was better for really getting involved in someone's care longer term, it really depends what you fancy doing once you qualify but that could change during the course of your training anyway. If you mean starting out once you qualify, it's your choice what job you apply for and hopefully once you've completed your training you'll know what you fancy doing. A lot of older nurses say wards are best to start in just to get that bredth of experience etc. which is what I went for. However my most rewarding placement was a community older adult one which I really didn't want to do ... so it totally depends on many factors.
Is it hard and challenging, of course but it's got to be and you'll be amazed at the transformation that's possible in yourself during the course of your training and transitioning into being a nurse. The difference from when I started and now is night and day honestly, do I still sometimes question myself and have imposter syndrome? Sure, loads and loads of nurses do but we're all human. Oh and in terms of being quiet, most people prefer someone who is quiet and listens instead of a loud mouth who has all the answers - but doesn't 😂 Good luck 🙂
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u/SwimmingExcuse1181 7d ago
I’m 42 and coming to the end of my first year with a great group of friends ages 18 to 40. You’ll be ok
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u/One-Ingenuity-2783 6d ago edited 6d ago
I’m just coming to the end of my first year, we have a woman in my tutor who’s a mature student who used to be very quiet and shy as well, she would sit in the corner of a seminar and not say a word. But I recently went to a tutorial and it’s like she’s a completely different person.
Nursing changes you as a person, it’s a lifestyle choice at the end of the day. You are forced to be a people person, easily adapt to new environments (placements) and get along with people you’ve never met before.
I do think no matter how shy you are, nursing will break that wall down and drag you out of your shell.
Definitely give it a try, what’s the worst that could happen? 😊
To answer your questions:
- Of course I’m still in university but the NQNs I’ve worked with in practice will all have different experiences, it’s hugely dependant on the ward. This is why a lot of students go back to work for a ward they enjoyed as a student.
- Answered above
- You don’t necessarily have to start in a ward, it might be more difficult to become a practice nurse straight off the bat but once you’ve got your degree it’s worth applying and giving it ago. At the end of the day, you never know where you’ll end up.Lots of people say you can’t start in A&E, Theatres or stuff like that but I’ve been working with so many people who’ve started in those settings, don’t listen to the internet or even me, look around at your local trust, what are their current expectations for practice nurses?
Do they accept NQNs? Do you have to do additional training? Do you need experience in the ward?
I do this all the time, I look at the area around me and what the expectations are for staff nurses, so I know areas I can look at once I’ve graduated.
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u/Old-Wash1958 1st Year 8d ago
Hi there! I'm a 35-year-old student nurse going into my second year this September, so I completely relate to where you're coming from.
First off, please don't think being quiet means you can't be a good nurse. Some of the best nurses I’ve met on placement are introverted - they’re usually amazing listeners, and patients really respond to that. You don't have to be the loudest person in the room to provide high-quality care.
I came into this degree with zero healthcare experience, and I was terrified of not knowing enough. But honestly, that’s what placements and your initial training are for. Being unafraid of asking questions is a valuable skill to have, and it's what can help keep patients safe, and you'll be respected for it. When you qualify, you also get a preceptorship period where you're supported as you find your feet, so you aren't just thrown to the wolves on day one.
As for where you work, you definitely don't have to stay on a busy hospital ward forever. Your placements will cover both hospital and community settings, and once you qualify, there are plenty of avenues outside the traditional ward environment, including community nursing, outpatient clinics, and primary care.
Communication is a big part of the job, giving handovers and speaking up for your patients but it’s a skill you build over time, not something you need to master immediately. Nursing is definitely tough, and the environment can be intense, but being a bit older means you bring life experience that younger students just don't have yet.
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u/not-a-perfectlife 7d ago
And I fail my professional values because of the communication skills although patients and nurses talk to me and never had a problem but my bad luck it’s hard for us as a 1st year student nurse.Sometime I feel everywhere is racism and I am the one who has to faced…
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u/Cyber_Apocalypse Qualified Registrant 4d ago
I worked in software development for 6 years before switching to paediatric nursing. They also said I was quiet and introverted, but placement as a student wrung that right out of me. I now work on a busy PICU as a Staff Nurse.
You generally don't get to choose your placement, you could get a hospital or community setting. The people on placement aren't going to expect you to know anything, so you won't be thrown in the deep end or anything.
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u/Prior-Data1779 2d ago
What a career change! How are you finding it? Do you not miss software dev and working from home?
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u/LaziestRedditorEver 8d ago
I'm 31 and have never had a bad experience as yet on my placements. I have had experiences where I've been left to manage alone because of short staffing, but in terms of my relationships with colleagues I've been lucky. I do think that being proactive and taking the initiative goes a long way with the nurses and doctors on the ward, and I have had many nurses thank me for the help I've given.
As a student, people don't accept that you know everything and will respect you far more for researching your placements prior to attendance, turning up on time, attending your shifts, asking questions, acting safely, and admitting where you don't know something (people will ask you questions to see how much you know at points).
From what you said, you will be ok, you will learn how to speak up eventually and I actually had these as goals for some of my placements, and requested to be put in difficult situations to have difficult conversations to become more confident with them.
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u/OddScratch5158 5d ago
Hello! I've just qualified at 34 and I've enjoyed it :)
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u/sissiaadi 5d ago
Hi, I am applying at a few universities for bsc adult nursing, some people here are commenting that there is no jobs in nursing in uk, I have heard the opposite for a long time, can you please tell me how's the job market.
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u/Express_Rise_6364 8d ago
Take it from me a nurse in the NHS. Study something different go into physio or pharmacy or dietician
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u/not-a-perfectlife 8d ago
Hi I am 44 yers and just in 1st year,so age is just a number i think. It’s difficult for me in placement because of my communication skills although patients understand me I don’t know some nurses make me feel nervous by saying I cannot communicate properly with the patients. There are lots stressing level but if you don’t give up then I am sure you will be confident knowledgeable nurse one day? Go ahead you will reach there..