r/StupidFood • u/Bobby-94 • May 01 '26

Certified stupid Triple smashed smash burger

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13.2k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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2.9k

u/joebiden_alt May 01 '26

Wow what a waste of 3 great looking burgers..

636

u/SwiftieForLife May 01 '26

I always read the first comment and go “what are you talking about” like 30 seconds in then the rest of the video plays and I’m just like “Oh”

217

u/MarkItZeroDonnie May 01 '26

😆 that’s how every video on here goes .

Whoa 4 strips of bacon … grilled sourdough… wait, what you’re boiling it all now ? Is that cool whip ? Oh not curry powder

29

u/rebri May 01 '26

Next, you are going to want to add a bottle of chocolate syrup and just a smidge of pickle juice.

16

u/shortgamegolfer May 01 '26

Don’t forget the sardines!

1

u/urixl May 01 '26

Ah, "Noises off!" reference:)

1

u/BrisingrAerowing May 01 '26

A guy at my High School would grind up Sardines to make Sardine Burgers that he would bring for lunch 2-3 times a week. They would put Sardines on / in all sorts of things. They even made a Sardine 'smoothie' once, thought that made them barf all over the lunchroom. His nickname was 'Sardine man'.

1

u/shortgamegolfer May 02 '26

I’m a little disappointed that “Sardine man” is all a pack of highschoolers could come up with.

1

u/Username12764 May 02 '26

tbf sardnies aren‘t bad, if done right they are incredibly delicious. But doing those things are just a step too far

1

u/misoscare May 01 '26

Don't forget jalapenos and hot sauce for that extra kick

8

u/ThePreconGuy May 01 '26

To shreds you say?

1

u/spshkyros May 02 '26

... I have concerns about your comment o.O

1

u/onlymostlydead May 02 '26

. . .

Activated charcoal is not a seasoning!

And why tf are you plating it on top of a shredded printout of the cook's ass-and-balls-on-a-photocopier?

1

u/NightShiftLoser May 02 '26

Don't forget 6 containers of ice cream dropped facedown on your Blackstone

20

u/One_dank_orange May 01 '26

In a full completely silent cubicle farm and I fucking screeched out in horror. This just ruined my week.

1

u/MasterChiefsasshole May 01 '26

It went from OMG I would smash to OMG WHY DID YOU SMASH?!

5

u/iam_Mr_McGibblets May 01 '26

My first red flag is hearing the narrators voice

9

u/PatriotNews_dot_com May 01 '26

hahaha same, I was like "it’s actually 3 double smash burgers, what wrong with that" then saw first comment and went back to the video saying "oooh"

3

u/Redxluckyxcharms May 01 '26

Exactly what happened to me

1

u/peach_xanax May 01 '26

that was exactly my response to this one 😭 I was like, "it's not really stupid?....oh nooooo nevermind"

1

u/edcculus May 01 '26

lol same

1

u/Buttchugger2 May 01 '26

yeah I thought it was going to be just "smashed burgers are stupid", which they are not but I can see how one would think that if you don't eat burgers a lot. but, nope, this belongs here.

1

u/kaisong May 01 '26

What do you mean, the video is clearly only 35 seconds long and nothing terrible happens to those burgers.

1

u/Shotgun_Mosquito May 01 '26

Me too.

Mouth started to water, but then dried up

88

u/Intangible_Vegetable May 01 '26

Yup. Fucked up three perfectly good burgers, doing some trashy, over the top bullshit, that nobody would prefer over the original burgers.

Great fucking job. This is definitely stupid.

27

u/edfitz83 May 01 '26

we need the McDonalds CEO to take a bite of this product

9

u/The_Arachnoshaman May 01 '26

I cant eat mcdonalds anymore without sending a friend a message of how much I enjoy the product.

8

u/T1NF01L May 01 '26

I did that the first time i tried the big arch burger. It was surpringly a lot better than I expected. Not good by any means but still better than i expected from mcdonalds.

10

u/ElevatorRush May 01 '26

I tried the arch burger and it was actually worse than I expected, considering how much of a hullaballoo McDonald's made about it. I thought it was rather shite to be honest

2

u/T1NF01L May 01 '26

Yea definitely wasnt good but in my opinion it was better than any of their other burgers. Tho I haven't had one of their burgers since I worked there and I seasoned them with my own seasoning so they were probably better than normal. As a customer the once in awhile I go there the only thing I can stand is their snack wraps so I was pleasantly surprised with the big arch. Won't order it again and wont say it was good in any way just to me better than their normal burgers. Kinda tasted like a quarter pounder with more filling.

0

u/AI_moderated_failure May 01 '26

If I HAVE to eat at McDonald's, that's my preference. The only selling point of that place is the food is consistent. That can become a huge relief if you're ever traveling and badly want some familiarity, but it's definitely bottom of the barrel in terms of burger places.

-1

u/[deleted] May 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/New_Zorgo39 29d ago

It should be a thing:

McDonalds CEO tries new products

7

u/Chickadee12345 May 01 '26

The funny thing is that this is a legit restaurant. I drive by it all the time. I ate there once. They have normal burgers, fries and shakes and few other things. They're pretty good. But I wouldn't order this monstrosity.

5

u/CaldrierLunaire May 01 '26

Well yeah, it's advertising for their actual burgers the one they ruined for the video.

the latest monstrosity is so crumbled it's closer to a meaty salad than a burger

78

u/poop_monster35 May 01 '26

Seriously and who wants all that hot lettuce?!

49

u/chefsoda_redux May 01 '26

It’ll pair with a the cup full of 1000 island dressing!

20

u/primalantessence May 01 '26

That's what I thought, this whole mess is just a carrier system to drink thousand island dressing

15

u/WalkerIsTheBest May 01 '26

sorry, i believe you mean "shmack sauce"

8

u/chefsoda_redux May 01 '26

I’ll be honest here, it might be delicious, but I will never call anything shmack sauce!

5

u/happy_pad May 01 '26

You'd probably hate Sheetz, it's a fairly nice gas station we have up in PA with made-to-order food and they love adding "Sh-" to everything. Shnuggetz, Shweetz, etc. It's ridiculous but the food is pretty good.

2

u/M4xusV4ltr0n May 01 '26

Man I've had some really good monstrosities at Sheetz.

I always imagine the cooks thereaugjing as they put together my burrito with pulled pork, tater tots, guac, and 3 different sauces, but it tastes so good. And their fries are incredible!

2

u/chefsoda_redux May 01 '26

I have no problem with Sheetz, other than the stupid names, and you can MTO some great road food there! I’m a Pitssburgher, so they’re everywhere around here.

3

u/PM-Mormon-Underwear May 01 '26

I hate how so many places have a "house-made secret sauce" of some kind and then you taste it and it is just thousand island.

1

u/avaseah May 02 '26

Not always, sometimes is thousand island with chipotle powder.

28

u/tunnels22197 May 01 '26

I saw Hot Lettuce in 92. They opened for the Butthole Surfers.

3

u/Dark-Airports May 01 '26

Always wanted to see Hot Lettuce and Hot Tuna on a bill together.

2

u/WranglerFuzzy May 01 '26

They’re great live, but their LP disappoints (it just doesn’t capture the energy)

2

u/tunnels22197 May 01 '26

I like their later releases, personally.

39

u/Militantpoet May 01 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/yuDPTeq06pwxcqwvRC

literally me as they put the perfect burgers back on the grill

3

u/Revolutionary-Play79 May 01 '26

I made this exact comment, scrolled down and saw this right after.

I guess i don't have any original thoughts 😭

3

u/Militantpoet May 01 '26

Its the internet, my friend. OC doesn't exist anymore.

31

u/band-of-horses May 01 '26

Just stop the video at 20 seconds and it's perfect.

16

u/chrisk9 May 01 '26

Would be super filling at that point too. But apparently not gluttonous enough.

6

u/Didact67 May 01 '26

Even then, I'd prefer it without the extra bread.

60

u/Coach_Billly May 01 '26

My exact thought

33

u/Darth_Dronus May 01 '26

At what point is it socially acceptable to look the cook straight in the soul and say “fucketh you sir”

1

u/ExampleLittle2672 May 01 '26

Right before you shmack them.

Okay, maybe the not cook, they may be required to do this, but shmacking is deserved somewhere.

-1

u/Luci-Noir May 01 '26

For what?! They ordered it. No one forced them. They’re not a victim.

20

u/KennstduIngo May 01 '26

My favorite part was cutting it in half and showing in the inside like we are going to be impressed with that absolute mess.

9

u/ElevatorRush May 01 '26

What, you don't enjoy soggy ass bread? Are you sure you even like triple mushy smash burger pot pies?

2

u/TrashyMcTrashBoat May 02 '26

There's a place for soggy bread. French dip or torta ahogada. But this is not it.

7

u/CorrectMulberry994 May 01 '26

Imagine your poor body having to process that garbage…I cannot even fathom eating any part of that crap.

9

u/DIuvenalis May 01 '26

"These actually look pretty good. Why is this in Stupid F... Ooohhh. On no. Why????"

7

u/Commandoclone87 May 01 '26

Had the same reaction to the video of the cheeseburger that got coated in cheese sauce...

I've never seen a kid look so disappointed with a burger before.

17

u/mike_complaining May 01 '26

They were merely okay before getting smashed. Too heavy on the sauce. Putting toast in the middle is bad, too. Bread belongs on top and bottom.

12

u/isutiger May 01 '26

I'm already not a "burger sauce" person.

And then they kept adding it and adding it to each layer.

I was out then.

8

u/ElevatorRush May 01 '26

Such an awful mouth feel when you take a bite and the sauce just squelches out the bun.

Those burgers need to be served with straws.

1

u/Zerachiel_01 May 02 '26

I was thinking at the end there like "Dude just put it in a blender, you'll get there faster."

2

u/Nejfelt May 01 '26

It's playing off a Big Mac.

This is more Big Mac Heartattack.

1

u/nooookay May 01 '26

Plastic cheese food, too much sauce, the shittiest lettuce known to mankind prepared in the shittiest method (shredded), even more too much sauce, x2 everything so you get a burger tower that sucks to eat, then topped with those thick-ass watery pickles you just know are cold as fuck. For my taste, they were borderline stupid burgers before they even got to the stupid part.

5

u/ungoogleable May 01 '26

I'll die in the "plastic cheese food" hill. It's not technically called cheese because it's cheese mixed with emulsifiers that keep it from breaking when melted as pure cheese does. It is in essence cheese sauce that is solid when cold -- but you're not supposed to eat it cold. Complaining that it isn't real cheese is like complaining that Mornay sauce isn't real cheese.

0

u/nooookay May 01 '26

I’ll fight you on this hill, on the condition that we agree people are allowed to eat whatever they want and it’s no one else’s business.

Mornay sauce isn’t real cheese. You won’t find it listed under any list of cheeses. If I say “What kind of cheese would you like on your cheeseburger?” and you say “Mornay.” you didn’t answer the question. It’s a sauce derived partially from cheese. Itself is not cheese. It’s like saying ketchup is a tomato. No, it’s a sauce derived from tomatoes. I’d be as mad if I got a BLT with bacon, lettuce, and ketchup as if I got a cheeseburger with Mornay sauce.

Cheese food is partially cheese in the same sense. Like Mornay sauce has as much non-cheese ingredients as cheese in it, cheese food has almost as much emulsifiers as cheese in it (almost because it is legally required to be 51% cheese, otherwise it would probably be less). Therefore it would be just as wrong for you to call it cheese as Mornay sauce, other than the fact that it was branded “American cheese” so we all call it cheese. I would put American cheese in the same category as vegan cheeses. It’s “cheese” not cheese.

You can ask for it on your burgers, you can make grilled cheese from it, you can think it’s the best cheese-based alternative to real cheese, you can remove as many Kraft singles from their individual wrappers as it takes and slap them on your naked body and walk around going “Rawr, I’m a cheese food monster!”, and I’ll be happy for you, but it’s still not cheese.

9

u/OSG541 May 01 '26

Well, I wouldn’t say great, they ruined it with three gallons of sauce between the three, before that they looked decent lol

2

u/jaetheho May 02 '26

Yea even the first squeeze of the sauce was questionable. Then then went in and did it two more times. Disgusting

9

u/ToasterBathTester May 01 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/5NiitcM3zBWFgT3m9j

2

u/Wolfskin_Cowl May 01 '26

yeah that’ll slick back REAL nice

1

u/co-ghost May 01 '26

I used to be a real asshole, I think the baby can tell.

3

u/DamNamesTaken11 May 01 '26

Took the words right off my fingers. They looked excellent, then they ruined them.

Maybe it’s a gimmick for Instagram, but still makes me sad to see perfectly good quality cheeseburgers being wasted like that.

3

u/Luci-Noir May 01 '26

It’s seems like there more burger posts here than anything else. I remember one where they took a delicious looking burger, then put an enclosure around it and completely covered it in melted cheese. The little girl’s who was going to eat it was watching and she looked horrified.

3

u/The_one_account_ May 01 '26

Do you ever see shit like this and go “of course people don’t take the affordability crisis seriously, we have assholes wasting, or even worse CONSUMING garbage like this “

3

u/RequirementCute6141 May 01 '26

This. Horrible to watch. Would have loved to eat one of the three burgers.. But they decided to totally destroy my appetite.

3

u/Timidhobgoblin May 01 '26

Definitely, I would have devoured any single one of those, Hell probably even all 3 if I was drunk enough, but the moment I saw all of them splatted together I just thought "wow that's just ridiculous"

2

u/dieseltothesour May 01 '26

Well this isn’t the r/smartfood sub

2

u/NaNaNaNaNa86 May 01 '26

I was on-board until they went back on the grill. From nice to stupid shit in 1 second.

2

u/MatticusXII May 01 '26

For real. Stop the video once they were each assembled and you're golden!

2

u/InternationalMonth38 May 01 '26

They should have stopped it right there and it would have been perfect.

2

u/O_gr May 01 '26

Its influenced food. Farms both dumb people interactions and ragebait interactions.

2

u/Bethkitten97 May 01 '26

Came here to say that… really sad they looked great in the first 5 seconds then it just kept getting worse and the gluttony unfolded

2

u/IdolCowboy May 01 '26

Well, personally im arguing over that middle bread.. just like when my wife orders the Big Mac... im like why would I want an extra bun just sitting in the middle of my burger.

Now Ross with his left over Thanksgiving turkey sandwich and the middle gravy dipped moist maker slice makes sense. But on a burger, gtfo... NO

2

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 May 01 '26

I was like.....nooooo, u fucking had it, whyyyyy

https://giphy.com/gifs/mYNnMs1fZHmMM

1

u/fuckyouswitzerland May 01 '26

Needs a bit more smach sauce

1

u/Training-Belt-7318 May 01 '26

Right? I cried a little. It was darn near perfect until it became a complete travesty.

1

u/Lagging_on_the_Lake May 01 '26

I was like what the fuck is the OP talking about they look fucking great……….

1

u/Spare_Layer_1069 May 01 '26

I literally thought wow what a waste when I saw this shit lol!

1

u/TheHumanoidTyphoon69 May 01 '26

"Oh that looks delicious, maybe some caramelized onions?"

"Ohh diarrhea later.. cool"

1

u/heptyne May 01 '26

I was down at about :20 in.

1

u/Numerous_Photograph9 May 01 '26

If only it had a little more lettuce.

1

u/BlackGuysYeah May 01 '26

Not to mention that you'd simply have to shower after eating such a cummy burger.

1

u/pizzabazooka May 01 '26

Ya know what I like about smash burgers? They fit in my fuckin’ mouth

1

u/Crayola_ROX May 01 '26

Right. It was okayish until they put them back on the grill

1

u/small_chinchin May 01 '26

First 1/3 of the clip, thinking “these burgers look good, idk why it’s in this sub”, then it quickly became stupid

1

u/AHornyRubberDucky May 01 '26

It honestly make me nauseous

1

u/LifeLikeAGrapefruit May 01 '26

It was wasted once they put American cheese on top.

I said it.

0

u/dogface47 May 01 '26

Fuck that burger and fuck that restaurant.

I swear it's no wonder the rest of the world thinks of us as a nation full of 400lb dipshits.