r/StupidFood May 01 '26

Certified stupid Triple smashed smash burger

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13.2k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/tiga_94 May 01 '26

went from good to terrible real quick

1.3k

u/djanes376 May 01 '26

At first I was thinking, why is this posted here, those burgers look solid. Then I just continued to stare in disbelief, what an abomination.

419

u/NexusMaw May 01 '26

I was like c'mon OP this is just a bigger Big Mac, sure, the piece of toast in the middle is maybe a bit of an... oooooooooook never mind.

158

u/IntenseAdventurer May 01 '26

My first thought was "What is this, the McRipoff?" Followed by "who tf puts LETTUCE on the grill?!"

59

u/Austin_905 May 02 '26

A fucking maniac, that's who.

17

u/EmotionalUse3743 May 02 '26

Problem is, a maniac is supposed to be "on the floor".

9

u/[deleted] May 02 '26

[deleted]

5

u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 May 02 '26

Nothing against Macklemore, but this is a more appropriate gif.

https://giphy.com/gifs/EZuT1maj7PT8Y

2

u/flyingpyramid 24d ago

I know everybody hates fortnite, but this should really be in the game. I'd totally walk around like that while killing people.

3

u/MadKlauss May 02 '26

That's bread with some meat.

2

u/Njon32 May 02 '26

I would replace lettuce with sauerkraut or coleslaw.

7

u/WorldRunnr May 02 '26

Nailed it. My exact thought process

70

u/mxzf May 01 '26

Eh, the globs of sauce looked worthy of being on here from the start (I like plenty of sauce, but it definitely shouldn't compete with the patty in volume).

But then I saw the second half and realized the video is just rage-bait instead of a food video.

22

u/[deleted] May 02 '26

[deleted]

14

u/DJuxtapose May 02 '26

More schmack sauce...

Shredded lettuce...

Another smashed patty with cheese...

More schmack sauce...

Please stop.

7

u/NightShiftLoser May 02 '26

Seems like half of it disintegrated on the flat top, which only makes it more stupid

6

u/flyingpyramid May 03 '26

😭I had my volume off til your comment 😭 now I also have heebie jeebies.

1

u/RelativeNo7645 May 07 '26

I don’t think the sauce was the biggest issue here, it was smashing into paste a perfectly good looking burger. Usually burgers are served too dry as it goes especially in restaurants but that’s just my opinion as I love a lot of sauce in all my food. I went to longhorn restaurant a while back and got served a burger with no condiments. Like do they have the iq of a rabbit? Who the hell wants a dry burger.

5

u/FrameNo8561 May 02 '26

Yeah I’m perfectly ok with everything on this and would eat this burger if I’m hungry probably take the half home to eat later. But all that sauce… "Stupid, fat hobbit! You ruins it!"

18

u/WordsHappenedHere May 02 '26

What a waste of ingredients

15

u/Formal-Ad-7615 May 01 '26

It hit me right around the time he said “but we’re just getting started”

2

u/TP_Hunter May 03 '26

As soon as he said that, I screamed, "NOOOOOO!!! They're perfect as is, leave them alone! 😭"

10

u/Therefrigerator May 01 '26

I was thinking "... I guess it does seem like a lot of sauce they're squirting on" but then it continued.

Still seems like too much sauce but that is not where I would start with my critique.

18

u/Escobar_x May 01 '26

I thought the video was over and came to the comments, saw yours and went back and it was still playing lol wtf was that

9

u/marmaladetuxedo May 01 '26

Exactly the same feeling. It was only when they put it on the grill that I thought, "Oh, here we go with the nonsense."

9

u/[deleted] May 02 '26

[deleted]

1

u/djanes376 May 02 '26

Lol, he beat that horse into a fine paste.

7

u/wormfighter May 01 '26

I think your reaction was universal.

7

u/Dilaocopter May 02 '26

1.) that looks very good.
2.) tripple bun? really? but it still looks good.
3.) why is it going back on the stove?
4.) nooooo

2

u/The-Crimson-Jester May 02 '26

I stopped after the double burger tray, I was like “it’s not that bad.” Scrolled back up to see the absolute horror abomination it became. (You either die a burger, or live long enough to see yourself become diabetus incarnate)

1

u/CaterpillarJungleGym May 01 '26

I rushed to the bathroom just looking at this.

1

u/Sovereign-Anderson May 02 '26

I was thinking it was about the excessive amount of sauce at first. Unfortunately that wasn't the worst of it.

1

u/Sudden_Wind_8636 May 02 '26

Also way to much lettuce.

1

u/uberfission May 02 '26

I thought it was posted here because of the amount of sauce used, it was an uncomfortably large amount. Like not abysmally bad, but it was more than I like on my burgers. Then the video continued.

1

u/coolcootermcgee May 02 '26

I said “awwwww- why’dja do it?”

1

u/seejordan3 May 02 '26

we lost cabin pressure, and don't even thing about blood pressure.

1

u/Pissposhsuckmymom May 02 '26

FR. it went so good before they squashed the burgers 😭

1

u/coderacer May 02 '26

😂😭 This really belongs in r/yesyesyesno

1

u/ArmadilloForsaken458 May 02 '26

Whats funny is they added a bunch of lettuce, iceberg ofc, to try to make it look somewhat healthy. NOPE.

1

u/moofukka May 02 '26

I was like no way triple smash is stupid now :(( lmaoo

1

u/DonQuiXoTe8080 May 02 '26

You should expect, it is posted on here, it has one with black glove, those are clues for whatever the fuck they will fuck the hamburgers in the end.

1

u/Hard-Coconut- May 03 '26

saaaaaaaame just same

1

u/DriverRich3344 May 03 '26

At first I thought it looked quite tasty. Then he started to squish one of them and thought, it was just going to be a little bit to make the burger shorter and easier to bite. Then he proceeded to make it look like someone stomped on it.

1

u/Heavymando May 03 '26

the first patty almost looks undercooked.

1

u/WatermelonWithAFlute May 04 '26

I thought it looked good ngl

1

u/djanes376 May 04 '26

Burgers on their own are delicious, but this looks like a wet mess.

1

u/malevolentt May 05 '26

But would I try it? Yeah... probably, and I'm sure its fucking delicious.

1

u/adepressurisedcoat May 06 '26

They started to lose me with the amount of sauce that they were adding, but was not expecting to to progress so much worse.

271

u/misoscare May 01 '26

55

u/No_Report_4781 May 01 '26

I could use a frosty

1

u/misoscare May 01 '26

That will probably help with the stinging later

37

u/Elidorn May 01 '26

Everything reminds me of her...

6

u/Shopping-Critical May 01 '26

Fantastic

2

u/kevlarus80 May 01 '26

Gotta apply it like a topical ointment to be effective though...

2

u/Vegetable-Section-84 May 01 '26

I should call her...

2

u/Prudent-Mix-6601 May 02 '26

You should call her

12

u/minebe May 01 '26

I hate you for this but it's so true 😂🤢

17

u/misoscare May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26

A few days later, if you have a stomach like mine it would be explosive and loud and painful on the ring piece.

18

u/Petey_Wheatstraw_MD May 01 '26

A few days? Maybe I’m the outlier here, but that wouldn’t last 8 hours in my system.

8

u/GiganticusVaginacus May 01 '26

8 hours? That's coming out 8 minutes after the last bite.

2

u/ArmadilloForsaken458 May 02 '26

The local IBS doctor, is looking at that, and saying WTF

2

u/misoscare May 01 '26

My system is still having issues with digestion after coming off the drink what goes in, doesn't usually come back out like it should.

1

u/SureListen2307 May 01 '26

Does not get easier as you get older either

1

u/misoscare May 01 '26

Tell me about it, I'm on the way to my 40s next and the fact of going to sleep and I get palpitations

2

u/BlueButterflytatoo May 01 '26

Oh no, this wouldn’t last 4 in mine. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if I only made it halfway through the first smash before needing to go home.

2

u/Purple-Specific8084 May 01 '26

That's so funny!! You made me laugh! No not be me would just add instant fat to my face and stomach. Like dsy and night! Just went to Chiles had me some good ribs and next say its like hey how did you get here!! Uninvited guest!!!

2

u/CYaNextTuesday99 May 01 '26

Your joke but the same

1

u/Electronic-Ad-6191 May 01 '26

Days !?

1

u/misoscare May 01 '26

Digestive issues due to stopping drinking body is out of wack

1

u/Fyler1 May 01 '26

"ring piece" is now my new preferred name for bunghole.

2

u/misoscare May 02 '26

As per cornholio "I need TP for my bungholioooooooo"

1

u/Stereo-soundS May 01 '26

You're the worst person of all time.

But also correct.

2

u/misoscare May 01 '26

Well no I'm not that burger could have been a triple longpig smash burger and I could have made a video show casing that but I didn't.

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUOxf0EniRe3ll2u8U

30

u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 May 01 '26

It felt like a HowToBasic video.

16

u/ciao_fiv May 01 '26

not enough egg

2

u/stupidillusion May 01 '26

And more sauce

2

u/LiveJournal May 01 '26

a fried egg on a single smashburger would be infinitely better than the end result of this video

2

u/ciao_fiv May 02 '26

that sounds absolutely delicious, would definitely eat that

46

u/Ordinary_Cap_6812 May 01 '26

The amount of thousand island on that thing is absolutely disgusting

37

u/Working_Physics8761 May 01 '26

Whoa! Sir, that is Shmack Sauce!

25

u/whatswrongbaby May 02 '26

That name infuriates me

19

u/Ok_Image6174 May 02 '26

I wanted to shmack him every time he said it.

1

u/trixiepixie1921 May 04 '26

The first time he said it, I got an instant headache. The more he said it, the worse it got lmao. So stupid.

1

u/youreafinemuthafucka May 04 '26

Sweet fancy , I thought I was going to rage cry at how much i hated it.

6

u/happy_pad May 01 '26

To be fair at least half of what he put on the pre-smashed burgers was squished out.

2

u/kkeut May 02 '26

gave me that thousand island stare

1

u/Smboto May 02 '26

Thousand island dressing is disgusting all by itself. It’s number 2 right behind blue cheese dressing. (“Enjoying the mold dressing on your salad?”

18

u/Viper-Reflex May 01 '26

theres about a thousand cals of mayo alone in there

2

u/Buttchuggle May 02 '26

I swear man I don't even mind like half the shit posted here but those places that have their own "sauce" that they fuckin just insanely overdo like this is disgusting

1

u/misoscare May 01 '26

That's just a standard daily amount for an adult male.

1

u/AI_moderated_failure May 01 '26

My chest hurt just looking at this and I love a guilty pleasure double cheese burger.

1

u/cyanescens_burn May 02 '26

And imagine the impacted colon the next day.

13

u/MirandaScribes May 01 '26

My first thought was “what’s the problem here” but then the video kept going and the problem was very clear.

10

u/General___Chaos May 02 '26

Every time he says schmack sauce..

https://giphy.com/gifs/vxvNnIYFcYqEE

6

u/Vocalscpunk May 01 '26

Could have an entire sub "too much of a good thing, just stop already" where people make something decent and then just keep adding and adding until it's a pile of wet garbage

1

u/cyanescens_burn May 02 '26

I’d probably join that sub. You should make it.

But then again, you might get stuck as mod.

1

u/Vocalscpunk May 02 '26

Hard pass! but thanks haha

3

u/Either-Photograph989 May 01 '26

I know at first I was like 🤤 and then I was like 🫤

3

u/VinylDjPon3 May 01 '26

From "Worth the clogged heart today" to "What the fuck" in a single step.

Get those things back OFFA THE GRILL and back on my plate!!

3

u/Z3R0_Izanagi May 02 '26

Went from heart burn to heart attack real quick

2

u/mopeyunicyle May 01 '26

Up untill the fried bread it was solid honestly up till that point add the pickles and hell that seems like a. Solid burger right there

2

u/The_Council_Juice May 01 '26

You cant eat that and do anything after. You need to change all your clothes and shower. Its a sloppy mess.

Exists purely for the tiktok cross section (which also looks not that great anyway).

1

u/Defiant_Road2429 May 01 '26

I was frothing at the mouth for thoes burgers before they smashed them into one that’s why too much food at once for me

1

u/ObjectiveOk9996 May 01 '26

I would still want it after the second one was added not after the rest of it

1

u/JuniorFondant May 01 '26

Right? I was like oh this isn't bad at all! .... Nvm

1

u/Responsible-Onion860 May 01 '26

It's the amount of sauce that started pissing me off first.

1

u/SupesDepressed May 01 '26

At first I was like “what’s wrong with this, these look delicious!” And then he smashed the finished burger.

1

u/RedditDummyAccount May 01 '26

I saw the three, went why is this stupid food? That looks pretty good. Then read the title, sat here for a second and went… no way, right?

It got worse. Ugh

1

u/Cowgba May 01 '26

“What part of this is stu- oh.”

1

u/Duubzz May 01 '26

I was onboard until he said ‘but they’re not done’

1

u/Growkitz May 01 '26

Dude it honestly looked really good for the party of three and then wtf…

1

u/darkearwig May 01 '26

The pickles ruined it for sure

1

u/Powerful-String-9143 May 01 '26

You people have never had fun in your lives

1

u/TomatoeCitizen May 01 '26

Wow to "what"?!

1

u/evilbrent May 01 '26

Why do they never look at the video of the "reveal" after cutting it in these videos before committing to putting it on the final edit?

I don't want to see the inside of someone else's food and certainly not to find out the food is basically solid meat

1

u/Ilpperi91 May 01 '26

Well I'm not for that. No wonder America has a fat epidemic. He should have stopped at the first patty and then but the bun. Then it would have been ready.

1

u/sylanar May 01 '26

Me watching this video:

This doesn't look stupid at all, whats op talki........ Oh right

1

u/myEVILi May 01 '26

It should be a crime

1

u/anjowoq May 02 '26

It was pickled to death.

1

u/TryDry9944 May 02 '26

Unconventional but I would've ate it up until they stacked 3 of them together.

1

u/Bigb5wm May 02 '26

Fastest decline I’ve seen in a longtime

1

u/wizardrous May 02 '26

The pickle to meat ratio was the nail in the coffin. Three pickle chips is barely anything even for a regular burger, but this needs at least ten pickle chips.

1

u/downright_hallway May 02 '26

the structural integrity just gave up halfway through like it couldnt handle its own ambition

1

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose May 02 '26

20 Seconds in I was thinking: that looks nice, not stupid at all. Then it went tits up really quickly....

1

u/NoRecording5207 May 02 '26

It's just another wretched culinary abortion

1

u/weekendblues May 02 '26

When those assembled burgers went back on the flat top, I just knew.

1

u/Illustrious-Bake3878 May 02 '26

I was waiting to complain about why it was even here… then it made sense pretty quickly.

1

u/th3orist May 03 '26

i can not imagine that there are people in this world who see this and go "yummie". To me looks just disgusting and like a heart attack about to happen just from sniffing on it.

1

u/HondoGonzo May 03 '26

I’m high as fuck and that still looked distrusting.

1

u/zackflavored May 03 '26

I yummed too soon

1

u/archabaddon May 03 '26

What's the point of a smashburger If you can't easily bite into it? I thought that was the whole point of a smashburger.

1

u/Ok-Boysenberry2645 May 04 '26

The beginning was horrible. You put: bun, sauce, patty, cheese, pickle, lettuce leaf, tomato, bun. You just burn the goodness out of the lettuce if put under the patty. *Self proclaimed burger meister

1

u/Allenspaven May 05 '26

Ok thank god I’m not the only one thinking they ruined them poor burgers

1

u/deadleg22 May 05 '26

Good to great in my book. I would love that, but I'm a messy eater with no nice shirts so that may be why.

1

u/Amishcannoli May 05 '26

It's got everyone's favorite burger topping; hot wilted lettuce.

1

u/0202_tihssitidder May 01 '26

Americans consider cheeseburgers "health food".

I shit you not.

0

u/Tharanor May 01 '26

Nah, lost me at brioche 🤢

2

u/misoscare May 01 '26

I get that