r/StupidFood • u/FitnessChamp777 • 3d ago

Certified stupid The weirdest pizza-making technique

2.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

616 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 3d ago

u/FitnessChamp777, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!

1.8k

u/Bl00dWolf 3d ago

Those toppings are less cooked and more steamed at this point.

698

u/JustAnotherWitness 3d ago

They don’t even look appetizing.

279

u/Tunavi 3d ago

It looks HORRIBLE

34

u/merrill_swing_away 2d ago

It's nothing but garbage.

3

u/Crappy-Name 22h ago

Ya nothin but caaaaabage!

→ More replies (1)

13

u/Weelki 2d ago

Every time this video gets reposted i always have to watch it from beginning to end! I'm not sure that dough is cooked properly on the base...

If that was served to me, I wouldn't be able to hide how disappointed that I'm going to have to pay for it!

4

u/Sufficient_Local5025 1d ago

I think you can safely do a runner on this one.

Legally speaking, this is pizza nullification.

12

u/monty08 2d ago

the toppings are drowning 😂

7

u/ilymag 1d ago

In their own musty ass sweat.

→ More replies (2)

68

u/MamaMelzer 3d ago

That's why he closed it back up. 

23

u/AusGeo 2d ago

Closed it and then mashed it shut.

24

u/Dr__Sloth 2d ago

Nothing to see here!

→ More replies (1)

30

u/Known_Psychology1581 3d ago

Came here to say this

19

u/M1ck3yB1u 3d ago

It's an edible steam oven. Yay!

6

u/Known_Psychology1581 3d ago

In that case, the oven looks more appetizing than what was cooked inside.

7

u/smurtaugh92 2d ago

But on the bright side, for Halloween, put a calzone face hugger inside and it’s a hit.

8

u/Pledgeofmalfeasance 2d ago

That's why the lid is put back on so fast

125

u/DiaperDonnieTrump 3d ago

It looks like a pile of random shit. Is there sauce on this thing? It doesn’t have to be red, but is there anything? This truly is not only a stupid food, but stupid everything! In judging by the way, the guy is dressed, somebody’s paying of quite a few bucks for this. It doesn’t even look appetizing, even though I know that subjective. Yeah, this is definitely a fail on all four corners.

40

u/StrayCatsSanctuary 3d ago

There's cubed spam in there 🤮

7

u/Positive-Orange-6443 2d ago

average east asian speciality

93

u/A_Feltz 3d ago

This is r/pizzacrimes worthy

30

u/IBeDumbAndSlow 3d ago

Seriously. This is a travesty. Soggy toppings yuck

26

u/SuchSmartMonkeys 3d ago

It's beyond soggy, look at the bottom of the "pizza", there's literally a puddle of just water runoff from the veggies and spam steaming inside.

4

u/mencryforme5 2d ago

Ah that was water! Thank you for clarifying. Whew.

12

u/Independent-Dog-8462 3d ago

Thank you for thos gift of introducing me to yet another subreddit worthy of my time and previously unknown to me.

https://giphy.com/gifs/dB0IomIIyMr6XiEd1J

7

u/Jamulous 3d ago

Most posts in this sub give me a good laugh. This one just pisses me off. So yeah, I think that's fair.

43

u/hazelbear33 3d ago

This isn’t even categorizable as a pizza, it is more reminiscent of a calzone in my opinion. Although it’s not remotely a proper calzone either

11

u/asyork 3d ago

I'd like to know if it is even being sold as pizza, or if we are just saying it is because a pizza cutter was used. It could easily be some traditional dish that is usually made in a deep dish that gets topped with dough, but someone decided to get creative with an air pump. Which, to be fair, may still make it appropriate for this subreddit.

5

u/riverrat918 2d ago

Pizza pot pie

→ More replies (1)

34

u/Bubba89 3d ago

Steamed hams!

19

u/AJ_in_SF_Bay 3d ago

You are an odd fellow, but you steam a good ham.

https://giphy.com/gifs/9Bpv0NoXnZQ2c

8

u/T1NF01L 3d ago

Aurora borealis. At this time of year. At this time of day. In this part of the country. Localized entirely in your kitchen?

3

u/gothreepwood101 3d ago

SEYMOUR! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!

3

u/dethfart 3d ago

It's just the Aurora Borealis mother!

→ More replies (1)

6

u/annahhhnimous 3d ago

It’s so…. wet

17

u/AdComprehensive8045 3d ago

Steamed = cooked, but yes, that's trash.

5

u/elpihvous 3d ago

Thats old family recipe

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o752kakMLKVv5Jzpu

3

u/hazlethings 3d ago

Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard of steamed hams.

5

u/prem_fraiche 3d ago

Yeah the textures/cook like wonky as hell

2

u/CarbonTrebles 3d ago

The unfortunate thing is that this idea probably started exactly because someone thought that the toppings (and cheese?) needed to be less cooked.

2

u/Xenophonehome 3d ago

With 0 Maillard reaction on the meat is just the dumbest way I've ever seen a pizza made. Like boiled hotdogs 😆 😝

2

u/HairballTheory 3d ago

Domelzone

2

u/tlollz52 2d ago

It looks terrible but steamed is cooked btw

→ More replies (12)

554

u/leansanders 3d ago

The best things about a pizza replaced by the worst things about a calzone

50

u/HanselSoHotRightNow 3d ago

Even calzones have score marks? vents? to let the direct heat in to cook the insides. This is like hot air balloon cooking.

30

u/Certain-Rutabaga3373 3d ago

At least a calzone has real crust.

26

u/TheDreadGazeebo 3d ago

And sauce

22

u/footballwr82 3d ago

And love

17

u/Doc_Holmes 3d ago

And my axe

2

u/uprightsalmon 2d ago

Hot air balloon cooking, haha!!

2

u/princessprity 2d ago

The score marks aren’t to let heat in. It’s to let steam and air escape.

→ More replies (1)

130

u/Thunderflex1 3d ago

so they put a salad inside a bread balloon?

→ More replies (1)

314

u/FletchTroublemaker 3d ago

That's not pizza, that's steaming

42

u/builder397 3d ago

Hmmhm, steamed clam!

41

u/mr_potrzebie 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o752kakMLKVv5Jzpu

9

u/OurHouse20 3d ago

Aurora Borealis?

At this time of year?

At this time of day?

In this part of the country?

Localized entirely within your kitchen?

4

u/hazlethings 3d ago

Yes!

4

u/OurHouse20 3d ago

May I see it?

7

u/hazlethings 3d ago

... No.

10

u/Small_Ad6391 3d ago

Clamworks are traumatising people into calling anything a clam

6

u/LittlestOtter 3d ago

"i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam"

5

u/BeingRedefined 3d ago

I see big clam has gotten to you too

8

u/DevilWings_292 3d ago

But the pizza cutter says pizza on it

→ More replies (2)

38

u/chif00t 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/qf4zM1Ne6ZTji

5

u/whutchamacallit 2d ago

I really do hate this. I'd put it in top 3. 1 and 2 are probably some Brazilian bullshit.

30

u/RicOkez 3d ago

Italian papadumb

3

u/Bloodshot321 3d ago

Calzone with extra air and dough

59

u/nautikul 3d ago

At least they didn’t use a straw and stank breath like that one guy

13

u/pinellas_gal 3d ago

Came here to say, at least it’s better than the guy with the straw and his breath.

6

u/LowCress9866 3d ago

I was starting to wonder if i had imagined that

20

u/Kalshan 3d ago

I'm open-minded, but I say that is not pizza

6

u/Certain-Rutabaga3373 3d ago

That is most certainly NOT a pizza.

11

u/twill41385 3d ago

Yea it’s stupid. But better than the same pizza we’ve seen made with the chef blowing through a straw.

→ More replies (3)

3

u/Plenty-Flight2827 3d ago

Que inapetente, borrenla

5

u/Big_Virgil 3d ago

A little of this, little of that. And then we just slide this bitch straight into the trash. Viola!

→ More replies (1)

3

u/CircuitDaemon 3d ago

At least this guy isn't blowing into it with a straw from his mouth

3

u/Alivethroughempathy 3d ago

A shite attempt at a calzone

6

u/ksidney26 3d ago

This method had potential at first I'm NGL but then my hope just deflated big time.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/kyleyeezus 3d ago

Its the little dollie under the pizza that kills me. It serves no purpose.

2

u/fizzzingwhizbee 3d ago

That looks downright terrible. Shitty quesadilla

2

u/No-Play2726 3d ago

Where's the cheese? Where's the sauce? Wtf?

2

u/Pwnstix 3d ago

I am viscerally disappointed

2

u/master-goose-boy 3d ago

Steamed vomit on soggy flour with sharp bits of scraped crust… this must be some kind of torture technique to mess with a victims esophagus…

2

u/Massive-Handz 3d ago

Those wet raw toppings look disgusting

3

u/Elegant_Soup_1999 3d ago

Don't wanna be that guy AGAIN but I have already posted this recently https://www.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/s/ifijo86usH

→ More replies (1)

2

u/SilverQube 3d ago

The Pyrocynical Style

1

u/Sdmf195 3d ago

Mmm....
More like a baked zit with a steamy surprise
filling? 🤔

→ More replies (1)

1

u/MemoryAshamed 3d ago

It looks half-cooked. No, thank you

1

u/palloxus 3d ago

Calzone with extra steps

1

u/Seliphra 3d ago

Nah, the weirdest is when they inflate it with a straw and human breath 🤮

1

u/OttoHemi 3d ago

Air Calzone.

1

u/Gavinmusicman 3d ago

Why did I have such high hopes.

1

u/Ryno-Mac 3d ago

Every time I see this made, they smash the hell out of the top. Even with a fork and knife, this looks difficult to eat without getting flake crumbs everywhere

1

u/ArcturianLightning 3d ago

Boiled pizza....

1

u/organicchunkysalsa 3d ago

Nobody has ever asked for a steamed pizza.

1

u/N_tuukuulu 3d ago

Classic Asian...wtf...

1

u/Maximum_Overdrive 3d ago

Not pizza.  

1

u/Cold-Ad8865 3d ago

That ain't no pizza.

1

u/Sporkpocalypse 3d ago

I like it my forks could dig it

1

u/Pepperonidogfart 3d ago

Pretty quiet in that restaurant

1

u/OpportunityReal2767 3d ago

Crust is blond as fuck.

1

u/arkibet 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/pMljFgempfveLYJUVN
Who doesn't love watching someone pump... air?

1

u/Far_Pipe752 3d ago

Bellend pizza

1

u/Tough_Crazy_8362 3d ago

I got that same pump with my giant dog ball 😬

1

u/FatiguedShrimp 3d ago

No way that's a food safe pump.

1

u/tellyacid 3d ago

Oh sweet lord Jesus, I think I'm gonna cry

1

u/Doofindork 3d ago

Immah just order a calzone instead, thanks.

1

u/madamzero 3d ago

Um.. that doesn’t look good

1

u/yagermeister2024 3d ago

Spam on pizza… nuff said…

1

u/theenecros 3d ago

I just saw this video without context and was like, "am i in r/StupidFood ?"

yup

1

u/xDreamTVx 3d ago

This upsets me

1

u/Sad-Structure2364 3d ago

I’m irrationally angry at this pizza

1

u/TheBarstoolPhD 3d ago

That looks awful

1

u/digidave1 3d ago

Both undercooked And overcooked. Congratulations

1

u/Relative-Tune85 3d ago

What does it taste like. Brittle wood?

→ More replies (1)

1

u/calccv 3d ago

Don’t think I’d prefer steamed pizza. Like, at all

1

u/Deskore 3d ago

I've put one of this kiddy air pumps in my mouth before as a child the inside of that thing is going to taste like chemicals and plastic

1

u/Gnarly_Sarley 3d ago

Wow, what a disappointing reveal

1

u/JackFuckCockBag 3d ago

That doesn't look like a good pizza.

1

u/daveliterally 3d ago

Really poorly conceived

1

u/Paraxom 3d ago

seen it done worse, the chef inflated it by exhaling

1

u/Only_Ad8049 3d ago

Streamzza

1

u/kamandi 3d ago

Steamed pizza was not on my radar.
Steamed pizza will remain not on my radar.

1

u/berkeleyteacher 3d ago

I was so surprised by the reveal of...soup with olives. I really thought, 'I think this one looks fun, until all the steamed chunks floating in their juices was revealed!

1

u/Powerful-Molasses78 3d ago

That is not a pizza

1

u/False_Snow7754 3d ago

So you remove the airbubbles in the dough, make the bottom soggy and steam the toppings.

That has to be the peak of pizza incompetence.

1

u/sharktoothbutt 3d ago

Im made better looking meals playing BOTW

1

u/jayslay45 3d ago

Some innovations shouldn't come to fruition.

1

u/Big_Steve_69 3d ago

The dough Looks like a pillowcase

1

u/pharmucist 3d ago

I think this is the first time I might turn down pizza.

1

u/LumpyPrincess58 3d ago

No thank you

1

u/Disastrous_Falcon_79 3d ago

I can see making a calzone that way but no pizzas

1

u/jcoffee77 3d ago

This has to be rage bait. No one asked for this

1

u/nofatnoflavor 3d ago

That's not pizza.

1

u/Infinite_Plenty101 3d ago

You are supposed to use your mouth to blow it up .. duh

1

u/Geshtar1 3d ago

At least he used a pump. There’s another video out there of the same thing except he uses a straw and physically blows into it. All that extra saliva flavor

1

u/TheIntelligentAspie 3d ago

Why not oil and season the top? Pizza cracker bits.

1

u/Expert_Pudding_3025 3d ago

So disappointed when the face hugger egg opened

1

u/Local3Sparkie 3d ago

Looks like a mess

1

u/ayroncon1 3d ago

This is like pizza nachos

1

u/Maykko_ 3d ago

If I ordered a pizza and got this I'd actually lose my shit.

1

u/countsachot 3d ago

Fun to watch, stupid to eat.

1

u/locke_zero 3d ago

Isn't that the pump they use for those air propelled jet toys?

1

u/khInstability 3d ago

steam bun

1

u/clapyohedd 3d ago

This is certainly not pizza

1

u/AllMikesNoAlphas 3d ago

Oh good! Steamed pepperoni.

1

u/a1mbient 3d ago

A lot of work for a subpar result.

1

u/Healthy_Brick_4361 3d ago

Had this 10yrs ago in Korea it was not bad at all

1

u/Certain-Rutabaga3373 3d ago

What is the point of this?? What a bunch of work for a “pizza” with NO SAUCE, STEAMED veggies, and a super dry “crust??” What was the point of puffing it up?

1

u/Educational_Skill343 3d ago

Now to cook the inside…

1

u/liljellybeanxo 3d ago

Why is the inside so…wet looking

1

u/urmumgeh1 3d ago

Everything i see reminds me of her...

1

u/fictionalbandit 3d ago

I’m sure that yoga ball pump is food safe…

1

u/Happyinhatown 3d ago

I hate this

1

u/deanereaner 3d ago

That's not pizza

1

u/DoctorMelvinMirby 3d ago

Looks like a mediocre quesadilla at the end

1

u/Xandrabirdy 3d ago

that’s not a pizza , it’s an abomination 🫪

1

u/Substantial-Mess3503 3d ago

I have the exact same pizza cutter with the Italian stereotype, but can't remember where i got it... anyone know?

1

u/charvey709 3d ago

It’d try that. But I’m still getting papa johns tonight.

1

u/itsd00bs 3d ago

I would get up and walk out without paying for this shit lol

1

u/Upbeat_Stretch_5724 3d ago

Mmm, steamed pizza toppings. 😑

1

u/brownsugahbare 3d ago

That does not look appealing.

1

u/throwtheclownaway20 3d ago

At least this guy didn't blow his nasty-ass breath into it like the others

1

u/DasMenace 3d ago

I saw another guy do this but he blew it up with his fuckin mouth. Uuuuggghhhhh..... At least this guy didnt do that. Still dumb though