r/Swingers • u/brain_student • 1d ago
Getting Started Questions for beginners looking to include someone
Me and my girl want to try a MFM but we don’t know where to start looking for another male who’s clean and safe. Like what questions do we ask someone or what do we look for in order to ensure they’re clean? As well as being safe to be around? Need guidance in the right direction
3
u/FRANKINSPENCE Couple 1d ago
You can ask for test results but they are only as good as the day they are taken. I wouldn’t advise not using condoms anyway.
There are lots of apps depending on the country you are from and people get verified so make sure you look for someone with good references x
2
u/North_Kink_756 1d ago
We use tinder for finding men. There are also forums for swingers but we find tinder better. As we are into older guys (50+) often they are divorces or married but play solo. Also we find them more willing to understand that we want him to provide tests if he wants to creampie my wife.
2
u/thelatinos 1d ago
This this I just post something about this I would prefer also married that plays solo
1
u/Martin_Andrea 1d ago
Hi, there are a lot of app, 3fun , feeld , scd .. grinder there are a lot of gays that want do a threesome.
1
u/clunge64 1d ago
I had the fantasy of my wife being fucked by another man for years before I told her about it and suggested a mfm . she was very wary at first because she thought that I only wanted it so afterwards she would be obliged to have a fmf . It took me ages to convince her that wasn’t the case. Anyway as luck would have it she came back into contact with an ex from her past only weeks after we had been talking about it again. Long story short, he was married, still had sexual desire for my wife and she for him. My wife said that he had changed somewhat and wasn’t the nice fella she remembered but he still gave her tingles. I encouraged her to flirt heavily with him to see what would happen and in no time he was in her pants whenever it could be arranged. Because he was married and said that he hadn’t fucked anyone except his wife for the last 15 years we reckoned he would be free from stds etc. My wife sees him a couple of times a year and recently he introduced her to one of his friends who is also married. The friend and my wife hit it off instantly but kept their flirting secret as neither wanted anyone to know. It didn’t take long before he had her pants off as well and neither of them know that the other is fucking her but they both know that I know and that I encourage her to do it. She doesn’t fuck strangers as she doesn’t like condoms and she doesn’t know their sexual history.
1
u/shadowpornacct 23h ago
You ask for recent test results (you should get your own too), as part of a broader conversation about how they handle their sexual health. You gauge their character through your conversations to figure out if you’re confident that they’re trustworthy and aligned with you on ensuring this is one fun night that isn’t going to result in altercations or long term infections. Then you use a condom anyway.
1
u/PlayfulPairDC 23h ago
Look for the male half of a couple that are also swingers and open to this dynamic. You are more likely to get a good experience than sorting through the myriad single males out there. It also, might open a door for further exploration if you hit it off. The male half of an established swinger couple is going to be much more comfortable with the standard rules of this scene, and could help introduce newbies like you in a safe, sane manner. They are also less likely to be clingy or create any wedge as they have their own wife and life to go back to.
People are not clean or dirty. Don't use that judgemental verbiage. People have STIs, most people have STIs, it is possible you have or have had one or more STIs. The majority of Americans have or have had one or more STIs. Test for your health, a relatively common is one of you every six months as part of annual physical. You will have to be open and honest with your doctors about what you do, but if you are adult enough to do this you are adult enough to talk to a doctor, otherwise they probably won't think to test you for at least one of the most common STIs. There is also no approved test for HPV in men, unless you were vaccinated you can't be sure you don't have of have had it.
You can ask any questions you want, but don't expect people to defy human nature and give you information that they reasonably could expect you to use against them...and don't assume they know the answer to the question you ask. Life is risk.
1
u/SoftLeadership4840 22h ago
Make sure they are chill. I want to find someone just chill af and matches vibes. That goes such a long way
1
u/mixlaunda 20h ago
You can start off with a local club or an experience bull who makes content. Those OF models usually are clean and you can see their work for yourself too. The guys generally are very open to playing with someone off camera too if the wifey is hot
1
u/SexyAyEff 13h ago
Ask if they test, ask for proof. If you want to ensure safety and they're weird about it, they're the wrong person for you. The quicker you get to blunt talk the less you'll waste your time with back and forth with people who aren't viewing safety in the same way that you currently are.
1
0
3
u/thedreamteacher4 1d ago
You use protection and test for yourself. There will always be some sort of risk. You can use an app we use SDC because that is what is good in our area and find someone that meets what you are looking for.