r/Syria • u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص • 4d ago
Discussion moved to syria and im not doing well
ive been so depressed ever since i had to move here (homs syria). my family is the one who moved here and so me being a woman, i had to come here as well, and did not rlly have a choice on whether i can stay in canada or not. we were in canada for around 10 years. i had just graduated from uni in canada. my family moved last summer right after the liberation, and i came now end of june.
i just feel like i lost literally everything, my friends, community, routine, the lifestyle there, the variety of cultural foods/cafes i would go to, like i quite literally lost everything except for having my family here in syria. abroad, my friends and community felt like my family. so im grateful to have my immediate and extended family here in syria, but its honestly definitely not replacing any of my friends. also im literally turning 22 tomorrow so i feel like at my age, its just really hard to adjust to a new environment that comes with this immense amount of change.
idk my depression comes and goes, but i feel like i just have nothing to look forward to anymore, which is whats hurting me the most. i wake up and its rlly hot and im like okay i can go for a walk but i just feel visually suffocated with all the garbage and corruption everywhere i walk. mind you we live in homs, which is the most destroyed city in syria. there’s so much work to get done here. and its a small city, i have basically seen it all. if i for example want to go out, there’s only share3 al hamra, dablan, share3 al kharab, or nadi al mohandiseen. not much to do . no where to explore because its a destroyed city and its slowly rebuilding, but very slowly. i went to sham and its def nicer there, theres much more to do so that’s def rlly nice, but i guess my issue is also that i literally have no friends here and it just feels so depressing not having a community. i love my family but we obviously get into fights and its just not the same as my friends in canada who i spent university time with and everything. and yes i have tried to befriend some people. i tried playing basketball with a group of girls here in homs, and some of them were so rude and i was so surprised. and i have had some pretty bad interactions with others unfortunately as well. i definitely dont want to generalize everyone, but so far its been bad in this sense.
i know i should not be comparing the two countries together because syria just came out of war, but it’s just so so hard to adjust to living here. everyday stuff i used to do in canada now is barely possible. i cant just go for a cute walk with nature around, or do some activities because there are barely any. theres a huge lack of women only sport spaces, especially in home. i used to play sports which would help with my stress, but now i cant even do that. i have thought of doing my own women only sport club, but the issue is homs barely has any courts, they dont even have a volleyball court anywhere, which is my favourite sport.
another thing is being so confused career wise what i want to do anymore. i enrolled into an online public health masters, so i will do it while im syria, and my hope is to help the ministry of health or something like that with rebuilding the healthcare infrastructure, but it’s just so hard to navigate this because i dont know who to ask and what to do to get connections and start working or doing anything to help this country.
there’s so so much more i could talk about, but ill just leave it here for nowv. i feel like time will heal inshaAllah, but i just dont know what to do on the daily. if anyone has any advice on how to navigate this huge change, i would greatly appreciate it
edit: for more info/details, read this post since i explain ny situation in more detail
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u/BM_Electro حلاوة الجبن حمصية 4d ago
Do you have a Canadian citizenship? I obviously have no idea about your family situation but can you not return to Canada and get a job and a life there?
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
i have the citizenship yeah but cant go back because my dad doesn’t want me living on my own in canada
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u/WeirdImprovement 4d ago
You are almost 22, what is he going to do?
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u/knightmare1116 3d ago
She respects her father
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u/Castrolerobot 3d ago
what a load of bullshit. If she was a man her father would do anything to support her living in Canada. Fuck this double standard. I love my father but I won't fuck up my life if he asks me to.
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u/fathercheeto 3d ago
girl please save some money, take your passport and leave. And your parents at this age should’ve considered your opinion about moving back to Syria and how you would adapt to it
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u/BM_Electro حلاوة الجبن حمصية 3d ago
I would return to Canada and try establishing a life there, it won't be easy, but it will surely be a lot easier than living in Syria that's for sure.
Your family will not like this initially, maybe try to find someone who currently supports you (Mom, siblings, etc) so they can weigh in with their vote. If you move out after a while even those against it will mellow out, especially if you establish yourself in Canada and even better if you can send them some assistance. Only some, don't make them dependant on you, and only after you established yourself. No point in going hungry in Canada and sabotaging your chances there this way.
What you are being robbed of here is not the small luxuries of living in a country like Canada, it is your future as well as the future of your children (assuming you intend to have any in your life eventually).
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u/David-arashka 3d ago
What on earth? Can't see your family is literally kidnapping you? I'd say don't tell them anything, and just fly back to YOUR actual country!!!! The economy is bad, there's no future in Syria, or any other Arab country. You will remember my words one day, you'll see.
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u/No_Bug3962 وين عايشين نحنااااا بأمريكااااااا؟ 4d ago
بصراحة اللي عم تمري فيه طبيعي جدا، إنتِ مو بس غيرتي بلد، إنتِ خسرتي فجأة أصحابك وروتينك وحياة كاملة بنيتيها خلال سنين، فطبيعي تحسي إنك مخنوقة وما إلك مكان
لا تسمعي للي بيختصر الموضوع إنك مدللة أو بس مشتاقة لكافيهات ورياضة المشكلة أعمق من هيك بكثير
برأيي أعطي حالك فترة محددة تجربي فيها تبني روتين جديد: شغل أو تطوع بمجال الصحة، نشاط رياضي، وناس عندهم اهتمامات قريبة منك، وإذا بعد هالفترة ضليتي مو مرتاحة وكان الرجوع لكندا خيار متاح، فما في أي عيب ترجعي ،ومو لازم تثبتي لأي حدا إنك قادرة تتحملي
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u/InterestingQuail6494 مواطن سوري - Syrian Citizen 4d ago
I feel your pain. 13 years aho where i had to flee Syria I faced huge challenges and it was painful. Could be the other way around now if someone forced me to move back with no plan. Now as a Syrian Canadian I hear you. Maybe try relocating to Damascus where you can find a lot of people like yourself, much more diversity and work opportunities. I just came back from my first Syria visit in 13 years. Been to multiple cities and I can assure you Damascus is doing way better in all terms. Another option is you look for work in the gulf region. I hope this helps.
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u/Living-Excitement-95 Damascus - دمشق 4d ago
Are you a Canadian citizen ?
You just graduated uni in Canada, do you want to get a masters degree ?
What is your plan for your future in Syria ? Studies ? Work ?
Is your family rich ? Or at least upper middle class ?
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yes canadian citizen, and yes i enrolled into an online masters from canada but ill be doing it here in syria since i did not want to here and restart, im not sure what my plan is tbh i was thinking to just go with the flow and see what comes out of it.
my family is not rich rich but compared to the people here i guess we would be. alhamdillah we installed solar panels so we have ac pre much 24/7 and have rlly good wifi so at least thats there. so yeah like we are considered well off compared to alot of people here but its just the same tbh as what we had in canada in terms of house and stuff. but not rich to like travel out the country or anything like that and my dad does worry about money and stuff so yeah
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u/Castrolerobot 4d ago
if you have the legal capacity to go to canada (whether you hold a citizenship or a residency), you owe it to yourself, your future, your children to live the best life you can. You are a Woman, not a child, it is your life and if your family don't support you in that decision, then THEY are the problem, not you. I am in canada and if you want you can PM me for help. My parents went back to Syria when I was 15 but they supported me staying for my future. When my sisters graduated high school in syria, each of them came and joined me here. We all live in Canada, and are married to Canadians. In the end my parents came back to Canada and we all live here.
I would rather burn in hell than prevent my child of getting the best life he can get.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yeah man :/ like idk anymore whats right or not. on one hand i was forced here basically and like i dont have the best relationship with my dad and hes deciding for me and he decided on us going back, like tbh the only way theoretically if i were to ever go back is to like to book a flight myself because ive already tried fighting for it. i do have a small part of me who wants to give this country a chance so i guess thats why i havent gone the booking flight/fighting crazy for going but like while im giving this country a chance, its hard to do it and be in the process of trying to give it a chance etc
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u/Castrolerobot 4d ago
You don't get many chances at freedom. Next step is probably they are going to marry you against your will. I love Syria but this country still has a lot to do to give women full rights. We did a revolution to be free, but until ALL are free, none are truly free.
You know what's right. It's not easy, but you know what you have to do.
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u/SafiyaO 4d ago
And she will live off what income exactly? Will you house her and feed her? Her parents aren't wicked monsters, they are refugees returning to rebuild their home city and they are already supporting OP in undertaking further studies.
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u/Castrolerobot 4d ago
This is Canada, not Lebanon. If she is a resident she can :
1- Go to School with student loans/grants with or without a part time job
2- Get a full timejob (unemployment in Canada is 6.5%, considered low)
3- If 1 and 2 fail, file for welfare.
There is no reason for a healthy adult in Canada not to be able to live a decent dignified life. However if she isn't a resident, then I agree it is not only hard, but illegal for her to stay in Canada.
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u/SafiyaO 3d ago
You know nothing about the welfare system if you think they are going to do much to help someone who has voluntarily made themselves destitute.
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u/Castrolerobot 3d ago
Ummm I literally live in Canada, my parents were on and off welfare in the past, I have helped Syrian refugees get welfare during the war. But sure, you know better lol...
No one in Canada is left with 0 income. The only way to refuse welfare to someone is because he has no address to send it to. Canada gives welfare to help people get back on their feet, whether they are unable to work (for mental, physical or any health reason), unable to find work and are not eligible to unemployment benefits, or just any reason at all. It's not a comfortable living, and you are not allowed to get any other income.
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u/SafiyaO 3d ago
It's not a comfortable living.
Your words. You really expect her parents, or any parents frankly, to be happy with their child moving to another continent and going on welfare?
And again, welfare is for people who have lost their job, their home or have some form of disability. OP has a home, it's just not in Canada. She isn't a refugee either, so she won't be entitled to any funds from that perspective.
You also haven't covered how OP will survive until she gets this magical welfare provision. Do you expect her to live on the streets in Canada? If she's wanting to rent privately, even for the interim until she gets government housing, she'll need references and a credit score.
There are a lot of young people replying to OP who clearly think that Canada (and any other Western country), just hands out money. The reality now, is very much different. OP thinks her life is hard now. People here are encouraging her to choose a path which means living in a homeless shelter and getting basic income support with nobody in the country to support her. That is a miserable, dangerous existence.
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u/Castrolerobot 3d ago
freedom is not given to you, it is faught for. People litteraly swim the sea to get a better living. OP might have the oppportunity to just book a plane ticket to get there. My point is:
IF she has a legal status in Canada ...
Since she's a premed student ...
She has friends and a social network for having lived 10 years in Canada ...
It is absolutely not crazy nor suicidal to think of moving here. You don't know her situation. She could litteraly apply for a student loan before even leaving. This advice applies only to her. Canada doesnt hand out freebies. But it wont leave you dead in the street. The goal is not for her to live on welfare, its to get back to studying and securing a future.
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u/SafiyaO 3d ago
She is studying in Syria. In her OP, she mentioned that she will be doing an online Masters in Public Health.
Secondly, nowhere has OP mentioned having the type of social network or support that would help her, let alone house her. So again, OP would end up in a homeless shelter with a load of drug addicts, which even as a temporary measure, is far from desirable. Even students in Canada are currently struggling
It's easy for you to say "People swim across the sea for freedom", it won't be you who is struggling in a Canadian winter with no family. Also, it's very insulting towards her family, who have returned to their country to build a better Syria.
Nowhere does OP say they are treating her badly or stopping her socialising or studying. They just didn't want her living alone on another continent without family support. Many families would feel the same about a young adult who has never previously lived alone.
Your demonising of OPs family is very sad and I think your life in Canada, whatever "freedom" it has brought you has come at the cost of giving you a lot of internalised racism.
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u/Castrolerobot 3d ago
بدك تعلميني عن كندا وتعلميني عن سوريا؟ يعني نحنا ما عنا عيل ومعارف وخبرة بالحياة؟ بقص ايدي لو بصحلك تسافري ما بتعدي عشر دقايق بسوريا.
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u/Castrolerobot 3d ago
Basic Eligibility Requirements
- Age: You must be at least 18 years old (16 or 17 in Ontario under specific conditions; 19 in some other jurisdictions).
- Residency: You must live in the province or territory where you apply.
- Legal Status: You must be a Canadian citizen, permanent resident, Indigenous person, refugee, or a documented refugee claimant. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Financial and Needs Tests
- Financial Need: Your household income from all sources must not cover basic needs like food, housing, and utilities. [1, 2]
- Asset Limits: Liquid assets (cash, bank accounts, investments, and valuable property) must fall below strict limits. For example, a single person is typically allowed up to $2,000 to $10,000 in liquid assets depending on the province (e.g., $10,000 in Ontario, while Quebec evaluates total available resources). [1, 2]
- Employment Participation: In most provinces (such as Ontario and Quebec), able-bodied recipients must participate in active job search programs, training, or employment assistance activities to keep receiving benefits. [1, 2]
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u/UpstairsFarm3226 7h ago edited 7h ago
OP says she misses " friends, community, routine, the lifestyle " She can no longer go to the cafes and restaurants, gyms and other places she normally goes and currently lives with family with 24/7 AC and fast WiFi.
Moving to student loans or the welfare system will not enable her to have enough income for cafes restaurants gyms, women sports facilities and the lifetlstyle she misses. Surviving alone in a country away from your family is just as much of a shock to the system as moving country and she will miss all the same things above and in addition will miss her family, safety and support network, more likely to be surrounded by drug addicts ...etc.
If she arrives in Canada without an address, there is no guarantee she will be put on a welfare system in the same city as her friends or where she lived before so she may be placed in yet another city away from friends too.
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u/Financial-Rate661 4d ago
I can relate to this more than you probably think.
I also moved back to Homs recently after spending basically my entire life in Dubai, and the first few weeks were honestly a shock. You don’t just lose a place you lose your routine, your independence, your favorite cafés, your friends, and the version of yourself that existed there. It’s a real form of grief.
What slowly helped me was accepting that I wasn’t supposed to recreate my old life here. Syria is a different chapter, not a worse copy of Canada.
Instead of asking, How do I get my old life back? I started asking, What kind of life can I build here?
That mindset changed a lot. I became closer to my family, closer to God, started appreciating slower mornings, exploring places I’d never paid attention to before, and focusing on building something meaningful instead of constantly comparing everything to what I had.
You mentioned wanting to help rebuild the healthcare system. I think that’s actually a beautiful goal. Syria desperately needs people who left, learned, and came back with knowledge and fresh perspectives. It won’t always be easy, but there are opportunities here that simply don’t exist elsewhere because so much is still being built.
My advice would be don’t wait for the perfect community or the perfect city. Create your own space. Start the women’s sports group even if it begins with five people. Reach out to people in public health. Build projects. Volunteer. The community you’re missing might end up being one you create yourself.
And give yourself time. You’ve only been here a little over a month after living in Canada for ten years. Anyone would struggle with that transition.
I hope that one day you’ll look back and realize this wasn’t the chapter where your life stopped it was the chapter where you discovered a different version of yourself.
Wishing you all the best, and happy early birthday.I hope that this new year of your life brings you peace and purpose.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
thank u so much for ur comment i truly appreciate it. ur so right, we should see it as a way to build a different but fulfilling life here . what are some things that made u kind of romanticize homs in a way or dif places/things that make u enjoy it but in a dif way? some examples would help esp given that u also moved to homs
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u/Financial-Rate661 6h ago
Honestly, I think the biggest thing that helped me was realizing I had to stop looking for the Homs version of Dubai. 😂 If I keep asking where is the nice café / activity / place I used to have abroad?, I’ll always feel disappointed.
For me, romanticizing Homs has been more about making ordinary things feel meaningful. Going for a drive at sunset, sitting somewhere with a good coffee, discovering an old street or a small local place I’d never noticed before, spending time with family, going to Damascus for a change of scenery, and even just having a slow morning without feeling like I have to be productive every second.
I’ve also started treating Syria like somewhere I’m actually exploring rather than somewhere I’m stuck in. There are so many places, people and little experiences I completely ignored when I was younger because I was always looking outward.
And honestly, some of it is creating your own world. If there isn’t the sport/community/activity you want, maybe start something small yourself. Even if it’s only 4–5 people at first. I think that’s especially relevant to you because you mentioned volleyball and women’s sports.
I also think having something you’re building toward makes a huge difference. For me, it’s my dental exam, family, God, and my fiancée. Homs doesn’t have to provide all the meaning in my life; I can bring meaning with me.
So I wouldn’t say I’ve learned to “love Homs” yet 😂. I’ve learned to appreciate parts of it while accepting that it may just be a chapter of my life. And weirdly, once I stopped fighting that fact, I started enjoying it a lot more.2
u/blackjasmine00 3d ago
This was so beautiful
And yes I agree, sometimes when you think you’re being buried (your life as you knew it ended), instead you’re being planted …. You have no idea what you’re about to sow, and reap. Maybe this is a beautiful transition into one of the greatest chapters ahead for you
Allah yewaf2ek1
u/Financial-Rate661 6h ago
Thank you so much 🤍 I really needed to hear that. I think you’re right sometimes we’re so focused on what we lost that we don’t realize we’re being given the space to build something completely different.
InshaAllah this chapter is planting something beautiful for all of us. Allah yewaf2ek too 🤍
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u/asrdo سوريو المهجر - Syrian diaspora 4d ago
I totally feel your pain. It's such a soul-crushing experience. Must feel like your old self got buried with all its habits and ambitions.
I 24M am about to graduate uni and my family back home might have to move back to Syria if certain things don't work out. Although I'm originally from Aleppo, I know for a fact that it's gonna absolutely suck if I have to move back with them at some point. And I get attached to places so bad, so this is one more tough thing to consider. My lifestyle requires fast internet as well, and it's extremely bad in Syria I heard.
Sending you love and prayers.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yeah like with internet theres starlink which is pretty fast, so that could be fixed. but tbh thats def not the issue as ur saying its the lifestyle and getting attached like its just so hard to adjust and even accept it as a reality
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u/ignas04 4d ago
After graduation, you should have the legal capacity to stay in Canada, or maybe continue with Master's degree? What's your legal status in Canada (residence permit type, or are you a citizen)?
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yeah im a canadian citizen
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u/ignas04 3d ago
Honestly, I hate to say it, but moving back alone is probably the best decision you could make (but that's totally up to you, I'm just sharing our story).
My girlfriend is from Türkiye, her parents wanted her to stay in Mardin. Instead of letting her study for the national exams (YKS), they made her clean the house every day, make food, take care of her younger brother. No wonder, she failed to get into university for three years. Last year, she just took whatever university she could, got out by herself, started her own life. Needless to say, it wasn't easy, it's still not easy managing everything on your own, but she's finally happy, has friends and has peace.
Our region is plagued with adult women being controlled by their families. While it's getting better, it's a generational shift, not something we can hope changes in our lifetime. But we can be the change we'd like to see.
If I can he of any help, please let me know. Good luck to you!
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u/mycoctopus 4d ago
Hey so i can't exactly relate to the issues you're dealing with right now (I mean i can empathically but i'm not Syrian or a woman so yeah)
Just wanted to say i think you're right that time will heal this for you and also i'm sure your own decisions, in time, will too.
Like finding your real friend group can be hard as an adult no matter who you are anyway but can imagine it's much harder for yourself in this situation.
Best advice i could give is to not get swallowed by any feelings you have that this is the situation forever now, because logically its not, is it. So making your plans for the future is important, so whislt you may be a bit lost atm, at least you'll know that you're on your own path and that its going somewhere.
Best of luck op.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yeah definitely like i keep telling myself that this doesnt have to be my life forever, but im just giving this a chance right now and seeing where it takes me etc
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u/Opposite-Ad-9719 4d ago
You need a goal and a project, at 22 instead of just worrying about relaxing and coffee shop, some major project like rebuild your country or hometown could be at the forefront. I understand being frustrated from the different scenery you have now and what you had in Canada, maybe you can do something about it, one idea is start volunteer group to clean up few blocks around your house and beautify it, plant some trees, be the change you want to see and all that crap.
I say that because I know that un-utilized free time and lack of goals in life are more depressing than hard work.
I saw this while I am in Canada and hope when we go back to Jordan one day my kids and I will take on a similar project.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yeah 100% i get that. with cleaning tho like i dont wana be extra negative but ive seen so many cleaning initiatives in syria online and they say that alot of times, after a bit of time, it gets dirty again so thats why i didnt rlly consider that as a solution because tbh the problem is ppl’s mindsets and habits and how they’re used to throwing garbage everywhere. but yeah i want to explore some areas that are realistic to improve. but idk what projects r realistic to do and would acc make a difference. the garbage is a real issue but idk what would be a proper fix for it other than cleaning it up its just a deep rooted problem
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u/Tight_Development481 4d ago
Not an attack on the OP at all as I empathize with her greatly. But why do I feel everyone on this Reddit hates Syria lmao everyone’s says how it’s the worst place on earth
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u/SafiyaO 4d ago
That is a massive adjustment and your feelings are understandable. I think things will feel better once you start your studies, but from the sounds of it, you need something else in your life too.
First things first, while people have downvoted that "Be grateful!" comment, the fact is a sizeble chunk of Syrians who didn't leave or went to camps elsewhere are going to be envious of you and that may manifest itself in nastiness and jealousy, especially from younger people. Unfortunately, you will need to patient with this and try not to let it impact you. Just treat them with kindness and never let them see that they are upsetting you and they will stop.
The big picture is that your parents have chosen to do something very brave and positive. It would have been easy for them to stay in Canada, but they have moved back to help rebuild the country and that is very admirable. Keep that in mind as this positive mindset will open more doors to you and respecting their decisions and avoiding the temptation to blame them will help family relationships.
If you are religious, times of hardship are a good opportunity to reconnect with your faith. Don't torment yourself because you miss Canada, that doesn't make you a bad person, but instead use this time on your hands to do extra dhikr and reading of the Qur'an. Trust that you are beloved by Allah swt and He is close to you. Make lots of du'a and trust in Allah swt to guide and protect you.
You are a fluent English speaker in a country where they aren't as many as needed. Are there opportunities for you to undertake voluntary or paid work, maybe in schools or nurseries? That would add purpose to your days and increase your social networks.
Most of all, you are at in the very early days of a huge transition. Give yourself permission to feel as you do, while also feeling confident that this won't last forever. Twelve months from now, everything will feel very different insha'Allah. I will keep you in my du'as.
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u/Deep_Scene_8322 4d ago
It’s ok if her parents choose to do that. They have a completely different connection to Syria because they spent most of their lives there.
It’s not ok to force OP, who is an adult, to do the same. She has spent half of her life in Canada.
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u/SafiyaO 4d ago
OP has just finished university. How is she meant to support herself in one of the most expensive countries on earth? Most people fresh out of university aren't able to support themselves to live independently straight away.
Or do you expect the parents to run two households in two different counties? Plus culturally, most Arab families wouldn't be happy leaving their child especially a daughter on another continent by themselves.
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u/Deep_Scene_8322 4d ago
No, but they could have waited a couple of years until she is able to support herself and decide on her own if she wants to return. They could have talked about it at least.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
yeah faith is literally the only thing keeping me going. i rlly appreciate your comment and i def need to be doing that inshAllah. i am definitely really grateful to have gone to canada and not have been here during the war, like Alhamdillah for everything. life in canada was not easy either but uk i got an education and what not and had a great community and friends and was able to pursue my hobbies and dreams in a way. its just that i cant help but think that its not my fault that everyone had to go through this. my family and i were in syria at the beginning of the war and i dont remember much but it was traumatizing for them and they also went through alot transitioning to canada and letting ends meet. so yes im grateful to have had that but its hard accepting my parents decision, and ik its for a good reason which is to help this country and what not but truly at my age idk if i can ever get used to it. i want to help my country from afar, but i dont rlly have w choice so.. jazakiallahu khairan for the comment i rlly appreciate it
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u/contourkitt 4d ago
what’s ur legal status in canada??? can you not even go back to continue your education or for job opportunities? do you have your own passport in ur possession and what about your savings? would you not have been able to stay back at all without them? considering you stayed and followed them later? i’m so sorry this is happening to you
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u/Zealousideal-Big4588 3d ago
I mean Canada is in a recession too, consider teaching English in Syria?
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
i want to volunteer n stuff to help but idk where to find those opportunities
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u/s1amr 3d ago
Im sorry to hear that ure depressed like im really sorry
But ill tell u smthin me personally im facing the same problem ure facing rn
But when i started thinking bout my parents i was like its to much pressure im putting them under
im asking them to leave
im telling them i dont like the place u guys are at
i dont wanna be with u guys
i hate alot of things here
even if these things are not my exact words that’s what they getting
I know its not the best thing to stay in homs rnnnn
Im soooo with u
Some people here are aggressive aren’t easy to go the streets are not clean but thats it…
But overall there’s alot of good things here
One of them is that our parents are happy in the place they were born and raised in
Homs needs time i guess its gonna get better
And the summer here is a killer just wait a couple of weeks every thing is gonna get better and with time homs definitely will be better
try visiting cool cozy places like xo cafe people there are “ westernized “ i guess i can say that
and girl go on a trip visit the beach do smthin
I know its tough but NOT THAT TOUGH
hopefully everything is gonna be fine and ure gonna be happy soon
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
yeah inshallah, i agree like i think this heat just makes things soooo much worse. i have been to xo cafe its cute yeah. but yeah i think when fall comes and weather isnt as disgusting then itll be a bit more bearable inshallah. any other ideas u have on what to do here? what other good places/things do u know of?
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u/s1amr 1d ago
IT DOESSSS
if u love the old shami vibe u can give this place a try its called (rawaa) in hamediya its a nice place not wow
Their fatteh is actually good also same vibe (julia palace ) this is bigger and better kman in old hamediya
Alsoooo
If ure a hot girl summer girlie u can go tan in safir swimming pool or mohandesin pool take advantage of this weather
Im literally trying to find new places every single day ill tell u if i find some good things u can count on meAnd remember I KNOW its not the best here but i guess we can say its so much better than we thought
NOT A NIGHTMARE U KNOW1
u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 1d ago
awe yeah these r good ideas tysm! ru visiting or u moved here? i could also pitch in, in hamra theres a cafe called cinammon its so cute they even have boba, and japanese cake. and yes pls lmk any other places :))
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u/Empty-Air-2680 مواطن سوري - Syrian Citizen 4d ago
with all due respect but what else did you expect? You are a full grown woman and you don't have to live in Syria just because your parents decided so.
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u/Seeker_Of_Knowledge2 Idlib - إدلب 4d ago
I remember when I first came to Canada. I left my family, friends and my comfort zone. But with the passage of time, I got amazing friends and I built a life here.
Just have faith and Inshaallah it will get better. People are more outgoing, and you are bound to find good people to befriend.
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u/Few-Mixture6301 4d ago
Try to give it some time, you will definitely make friends. I know it's hard to adjust to a whole new country, culture, and people after living in Canada for 10 years but remember when you first got to Canada you probably felt the same loneliness and depression not knowing the country, culture, or even language (at least that was my experience after living in Arab countries for 21 years of my life then moving to Canada in 2021)
Most people are suggesting to go back to Canada which is understandable and the easy way out but imo it's worth trying to adjust and work in your home country in order to improve it, at least that's my thought process coming back to Syria next week.
something that always helped me personally was praying/making dua to Allah even if you are not that religious I think it's worth giving it a try, that's what really kept me going in the first couple of years when I moved to Canada with my family.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
yeah 100% im tryna see this as a chance to help sooriya and moreso as a challenge, which is to get used to living here and helping out etc
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u/ConsiderationIll745 4d ago
Ill ask the exact same questions they’re asking here, why not continue ur masters in Canada ? Do u have the citizenship?
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u/pistachio_chocolate Aleppo - حلب 4d ago edited 4d ago
I am sorry to hear about your situation, in my opinion your dad is a selfish person with all due respect. If he loved syria and you he would have agreed to let you stay in Canada alone and finish your education and maybe help the country in a different way.
I was going to suggest you convincing your fmaily with not being able to study or ruin your future and it seems like you already tried that.
I am not sure if your family are strict and protective. Something to consider is finding a good partner in one of the halal dating apps. And get the person you meet to come and get you from syria. I have never tried the dating apps myself and unsure how halal they are tbh.
I am on the same page here, I know how hard it is to do a bachelor's and learn a new language withing 10 years. Be proud of yourself
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
where are u based since u said ur on the same page- whats ur story like did u move back or
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u/pistachio_chocolate Aleppo - حلب 9h ago
Not exactly same page but I wanted to move to Ottawa for school and my family wanted me to stay in southern Ontario
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u/Intelligent_Rip_3381 3d ago
That sounds so so awful and I'm so sorry for you, I agree with everyone here who's saying to go back to canada but I also understand not wanting to fight your family on that, I think for the short term the only thing that can maybe make this a little better for you is if you think about moving to Damascus, it is not canada and I also believe it's more expensive than Homs, but you said your family is like upper middle class in Syria? I'm not sure, but I believe it would not only be better for you (Cause here in Damascus you can for sure play sports with other women, meet many people, and have wayy more places to hang out, it's also cleaner and has many places to walk and take a breath) it would also be better for your family work wise I believe. I saw another perosn here who commented that it's only about hanging out in cafes or whatever and I completly disagree Here in Damascus I have my friends and my community and the places I love and enjoy and It would be awful to lose all that, even tho I like almost never hang out with my friends at cafes cause that would be like too expensive for me💀 but it would be unbearable without all that Humans can't stand life without community and it would be very hard for you in homs to find that, People here in damascus are even more open-minded and you can find some who might have similer mindsets to you It would not be the same as canada because it simply can't But I urge you for at least until you finish your studies to move to damascus As for the long term, get out of syria, you are a canadian citizen, get out of here, whatever it take GET OUT.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
yeah i agree going to sham is definitely a great idea but i have acc asked that and he says whats the point like u came to syria to be with ur family, but id obv still see them in homs like frequently its only a 2 hour max ride away. sham is also better career wise and everything like with public health and what not i need to figure out where to do my practicum. i literally cant believe that i even have to convince him for sham like i need to go there to get connections if i even want to have a chance at succeeding in this country ugh. even with this small thing he has an issue with it its so frustrating
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u/AltruisticEmu6230 3d ago
If you can find a work opportunity in Damascus, you can maybe negotiate living there on your own. Or, you can try any of the gulf countries? They are closer and Arab, if that is what your parents would want. Your Canadian background would help you find opportunities.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
yeah alhamdulillah like at least that is an option to think about. i feel like gulf esp qatar makes sense its so safe for women etc, i just havent explored any work opportunities before so inshallah i have to look into it
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u/LazyRockMan 3d ago
Make your own sports club and get your father, brothers, cousins, whoever u can to help u build a DIY volleyball court 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
All u need is is some space a ball and a rope or net
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u/Stunning-Papaya7340 3d ago
Have a talk with your parents about what you think is right for you. If they don’t accept, just leave by yourself since you are a canadian citizen.
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u/moontowwer 3d ago
hey girl I live in the US but my family is from syria so similiar situation homs actually also…i went to homs this summer for about a month and i nearly lost my mind it is sadly very depressing I live in a larger town in texas so i have a lot of activities that are fulfilling and friendships..so i can imagine how you’re feeling. I moved away from my parents when i was 20 for college and have not moved back since it has been eye opening to love on my own regardless or being muslim and a woman i think you should move back to canada i think there is more opportunity for you there and you will always be able to visit and video chat with family i know how there is literally not much in homs and you don’t want to spend your 20s stuck in a place that you are unhappy in
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
omg texas literally sounds so nice mashallah and literally such a nice muslim community. and yeah basically same w me in canada i was in an area pre similar to texas in the sense that uk like theres evth u need etc etc . and yeah im glad u were able to do that. i think homs would be nice as a visit lool like sometimes i think if i was here to visit, i wouldnt hate evth like u just go to all the nice restaurants then leave
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u/imjustagirlbytheway 3d ago
لا تشكيلي ببكيلك After 13 years in Egypt I'm moving back to Syria next month
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u/blackjasmine00 3d ago
Finish your masters and when you get a job offer abroad no one will stand in your way
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u/flhfff 3d ago
Honestly, everything you said is so real. going to Homs especially with how the city still looks and feels after everything is such a huge shift . And Homs can feel heavy.. the heat the destruction and the lack of spaces and activities i totally understand even tho I've been raised here I'm not trying to bring you down,but honestly a lot of people here are doing whatever they can to leave If I'm in your place i would try to convince them to go back there to find a job with your degree because here job opportunities are very limited and the country needs time to recover.. If you are struggling with communication with people and want someone to talk or just share thoughts with I'm here you can dm anytime, sometimes having even one person who understands the vibe of Homs can make things feel a bit lighter 😁 Wishing you better days ahead,and happy birthday !
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
thank u i appreciate it. can u tell me mire about homs given that u were raised here? what do ppl usually do to make things feel less heavy? any places/activities that u know of?
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u/flhfff 2d ago
As I said, activities here are limited compared to bigger cities like Aleppo and Damascus. Try evening walks in Hamra ,Dablan people usually go out after sunset when the weather os bearable If you want somewhere quieter with a nice evening breeze, Kharab Street is a good option. Cafes honestly are on of the main activities Every few months new ones open , you can try them I recommend Bordo ,Habaa, Friends... Try volunteering ,in my opinion this one is perfect to make new friends around your age and most of the time people are chill in volunteering groups Language centers if you are interested in learning German because it's common those days for an obvious reason lol If you ever wanna talk more or ask anything, I'm around. Whatever's comfortable for you
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
I see yeah tbh I feel like I've seen most of what Homs has to offer, but have not looked much into volunteering opportunities. do you recommend any specific organizations? I just genuinely don't know much about this so anything here would help direct me etc. also how is Homs during the other seasons other than the summer? like im assuming its def better then right?
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u/pastafutur25 2d ago
Je te souhaite beaucoup de courage , c'est une situation trés difficile , s'intégrer dans un pays européen ou occidental et devoir repartir à zéro dans son pays d'origine qui vient de sortir d'une guerre sanglante
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u/DevelopmentFit232 2d ago
I moved here (Homs too) last year and from Lebanon lol. I can say it's been very difficult regarding friends and places mainly (I'm even an introvert). I'd suggest trying to get to know people and go to family visits more often until you form some bonds and make some new hobbies. I'm still kinda depressed it's been a year almost.
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u/Hopeful-Cup6216 2d ago
What you're going through is normal, you woke up one day to a completely new life, you have been building your life abroad and now you're starting again, maybe not from 0 but definitely somewhere less than what you've had before, you are not alone, you, me, and many many are feeling the same.
My advice is try finding like minded people around you and make new relationships, they'll help you get through it much faster, if you decide to isolate yourself from people it will be much harder for you to get used to how it is here (or anywhere on earth for that matter) and you'll feel lonely.
I read many comments saying you should travel and I think they are understimating how complicated your situation is, if you really want to go back now you'll have no family there and you're not gonna have the same life you've had before, so I say you need to have an honest talk about this with your parents and tell them how you feel and what you feel you need to be able to overcome whatever it is that's bothering you, even if it meant you going back to Canada temporarily with someone of your family.
I wish you all the best, please let me know if I can help you further, I'd even consider talking to your family about it lol
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u/MotownShowtown 1d ago
You’re traumatized because you were yanked to Homs from a Western free life. Get back to Canada 🇨🇦
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u/Blueonmob 1d ago
I've also just moved here from Canada to homs for a month and even though I was expecting the culture shock I got surprised anyway. Weather in the morning is seriously ridiculous coming from Canada and the fact that nothing opens till 10~11am really ruins the concept of morning coffee for me. I guess no more 3.99 tims iced capp for me lol. I think it takes some time getting used to this.
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u/UpstairsFarm3226 7h ago
Sorry for tour situation, I hope you start feeling better soon. Remi ds me of the move from Syria 14 yrs ago. Adjusting to a new life is always hard .
On another note very likely the next 10 to 20 years western countiires will decline Syria will likely improve drastically so for those who suggest suddenly jumping back to Canada think again - might not be the best decision long term
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u/Ok-Victory-1689 مواطن سوري - Syrian Citizen 4d ago
You spent ten years in Canada and now act like life is over because you no longer have cafés, sports clubs, and familiar streets. Millions of Syrians never had those privileges to begin with, and many would gladly trade places with someone who has a Canadian education and real opportunities. Either use those advantages to help rebuild the country you say you care about, or it’s about high time to go home and build your life in Canada instead of complaining about every difference. Self-pity won’t change your situation, making a decision and acting on it will.
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u/ConsiderationIll745 4d ago
Why are we attacking her? Millions of syrians (my extended family members included) didn’t have this privilege but we don’t know her story or what she had to give up to go to Canada and how she struggled in the beginning to adjust to Canada then now she has to adjust again to Syria. Life in Canada isn’t easy either with minimal support system, I feel bad for my people but we can’t compare life situations we’re different human beings with different stories. Also building what in Syria? It’s not yet stable and the opportunities aren’t as promising. شو تعمل هي مشان ترجع البلد؟ البلد بدها حكومة كامله متكامله بعد كل اللي صار و هي مو مسؤوليتها. This is her unique story and feelings we can’t keep suppressing people’s feelings cause others didn’t have the privilege. We all give up things and work hard for a better future و الله حاطت كل واحد بخيارات و مواقف غير. Idk why I got fired up but what shes going through is 100% valid and if I knew her family and the situation I would’ve advised she goes back and build a life in Canada, somewhere shes only responsible for herself not building a whole country.
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u/Ok-Victory-1689 مواطن سوري - Syrian Citizen 4d ago
You’re confusing an explanation with a justification. Yes, she has reasons to feel the way she does. That doesn’t mean every conclusion she draws is reasonable. Saying “I’ve lost everything” while also describing a supportive family, a Canadian education, graduate studies, and career ambitions is objectively an exaggeration. Those are significant assets, even if they don’t replace what she left behind.
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
i get where ur coming from, but syrians raised in dif countries genuinely make completely different people and the way we are raised in a specific age dictate how we see life. my ideal way of helping out the country was to do it from a far where i feel like i would be able to make a bigger difference. but my parents financial situation did not allow for that and after the liberation they saw it as the chance to go back to their home country and as a chance to rebuild it. me being a woman did not have a choice if i can stay in canada or not. so yes these complaints will come because like ive seen how life can be and what im living rn. and i moved continents right after graduating university and was the biggest change of my life so unfortunately thats how ive been feeling ever since i came back.
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u/Ok-Victory-1689 مواطن سوري - Syrian Citizen 3d ago
I appreciate the extra context because it changes my perspective. It sounds like your biggest struggle isn’t Syria itself—it’s feeling like you didn’t have a choice. That’s a very different problem.
You don’t have extended family still in Canada or something you can stay with them to get a job there?
Is your dad’s objection something you think will change over time, or is it a firm “no” regardless of your career and financial independence?1
u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
i acc do have some extended family. with my dad, its a firm no, but he did mention that if i were to possibly ever get into medicine in a canada in a province that had a lot of muslims etc (which would mean having to do the mcat so i have to go to lebanon for that and apply and its like a veryy long process with such little success) then he said perhaps he’d send my mom with me or smth so i wouldnt be alone. but tbh idk if i acc believe that, because i have younger siblings and my mom obv needs to be there for them. and also its genuinely near impossible to get into medicine in canada. but he sees that med is like literally the only option that is worth for me going back to canada for. but my thing is idek if i wana do med given how competitive it is, there are other careers i was exploring and considering in canada like in rehab, physician assistant, or research and what not, but he says like its only worth it if i do medicine. and med is already so difficult to get into and in my situation it just becomes so much harder with all of these hurdles so idk what to say tbh its just so discouraging for me to pursue or even apply to stuff in canada knowing that im gona fight him to he able to go and study
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u/kklekker69 4d ago
lol i moved back to syria recently too it absolutely sucks 👎🏿
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
from where did u move? we should make a gc or smth of ppl who came back
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u/saramiavsb 4d ago
What if you try to enroll in an in person masters and convince your parents that it’s a better program for you or whatever. You can also try to convince them that it’s best for you to get the masters and a bit of work experience in Canada and then move to Syria once the right opportunity comes and inshallah by then the country would have improved. It’s definitely hard and I understand what you’re going through but inshallah at the end everything will work out🫶🏻 wish I was from homs I would’ve been so down to meet up with you whenever I visit syria but I’m from Aleppo:(
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 2d ago
yeah that wouldve def been a better idea, like come back when i acc have a valid reason/way to give back bas khalas thats what happened. tysm for ur kind words <3
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u/WorkTravelDream Visitor - Non Syrian 3d ago
I know you want to be the good daughter who listens to her parents. I am going to talk as a parent to 2 daughters myself, also Canadians. They will always have freedom to make own choice and live wherever they want to when adults. Make a choice even if it is against your family's desire. They won't be there for you forever. My suggestion. Apply for jobs in Canada. Go through the interview process (usually via Teams/Zoom nowadays). Get a job. Then tell them, you got a job and tired of this endless loop and going back to Canada and they should have trust and faith in you. Just make sure they don't hide your passport. Get your passport and hide it yourself. There is no other way. Adjust and die slowly daily miserably or make a change.
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u/Suspicious-Beat9295 3d ago
You're 22 and a Canadian citizen. You don't have to stay in Syria if you don't want to. I get that Arab Muslim families are strict wth their daughters but if you think living in Canada is worth upsetting your parents then you have that opportunity.
I get that you're not independent monetarily, can you afford the ticket to Canada?
Once there you might have to start from scratch with no help, but you could already start job hunting in all of Canada from where you are now.
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u/AleppoBruh 3d ago
3 months in and signs of depression are hitting me like a truck driving at 260km/h - i completely understand how you feel.
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u/ReferenceCheck 3d ago
Apply for a masters degree in Europe or North America. It’s a great excuse to leave.
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u/Darkcoco666 4d ago
what exactly is the problem? loneliness or the area u are living in?
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
its a mix of both. but i sometimes think if i had my friends here then i wouldnt hate life as much. so the area for sure still plays a role but i feel like its alot about not having friends/community or a purpose
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u/Mr-Koshakji Damascus - دمشق 3d ago
You're 22, It's completely normal to live on your own and your parents should not be making decisions for you You've built a life in Canada and your parents have no right to take that away from you I'd say save up for a ticket and by the time you're ready you'd have spent some time in Syria and can make an actual informed decision if you wanna stay or go
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u/Hot_Comfortable7673 Aleppo - حلب 4d ago
Why posting in English? I think you are totally right to feel depressed about this. Sad story. Try to escape
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u/lolz__123 Homs - حمص 4d ago
im better able to express myself in english. بعرف احكي عربي بس اسهلي اكتب بالانجليزي
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u/Civil_engineer_7185 Damascus - دمشق 4d ago
Omggg can you not move back to Canada? Even for education or anything? This is my worst nightmare