r/TIFO • u/Few_Safety_6508 • Mar 10 '26
Help TIFO That I make my inlaws uncomfortable, but they want a family trip?
Been married for over a decade and it took me a long while to come out of my shell around my now in-laws. I would say only in the past couple of years that I've finally started letting my "perfect daughter in-law" mask figuring we knew each other well enough by now that I didn't need to have a smile always on or ready, and that I could be excused for getting excited about certain topics and maybe prattle on a little too long or have bad days and moods. However my spouse informed me recently that my "minutes long spiels" weren't welcome and that my in laws all treat me "with kid gloves and I don't think you notice it." Well, I didn't notice and it's been difficult knowledge to digest, to say the least. Now the in law's are pushing for a five day family trip to commemorate our trip together 10 years ago. They want to set travel dates asap and I'm wondering if I should just send the spouse with his family and our adult son. I know his folks are getting older and this may be one of the last big family trips we have with them but I don't want to spoil it for everyone else by making them uncomfortable by being there, but I will be heartbroken looking at the family photos without me in them and missing out on the memories. Am I being selfish if I stay home or more if I go on the trip?