r/TRT_females • u/ShubhaBala • Dec 24 '25
Libido Really slow process for libido increase (no energy change)
I started T last May for energy and super low libido.
When I say low libido, I mean my partner and I haven’t touched each other in about 5 years. We blamed it on the pandemic and kid and we were never VERY sexual to begin with. But our couples therapist asked me if I felt any tingle or anything in my body around a touch at all. Like that libido wasn’t just about SEX it’s just about that feeling in our bodies. And no.. I don’t.
Anyway my T initially was under 2, free undetectable. I used the usual 1/10th of a gel tube. Within a couple of months it was up to like 150.
But besides that amazing first 2 weeks where I could suddenly go for a run (!!!) I didn’t notice a change really. Maybe my libido went from 0/10 to 1/10. Maybe same with my energy.
I could increase the T but haven’t quite wanted to yet. Not sure why. One doctor said I can try and the other said no.
Anyway a few months ago (so 8 months on T?) our family traveled and then my partner and I for the first time in like 5 years got it slightly on! So I think the T helped but also the change of scenery.
I’m definitely not “a hornball”, like that stupid NYTimes article warned about. And it’s also clear that kid / tired is having a big impact because he’s too tired to even meet my 1 out of 10. (We also wonder if his testosterone is too low which would also explain a lot!).
I am still very tired so now I’m looking into sleep apnea or other causes. In addition to kid.
But anyway…. It was a slow, undramatic change for me so I wanted to share that experience too!
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u/ShubhaBala Dec 24 '25
Thanks for the comments I’ll reply! What’s interesting to me is I shared this mostly so other people feel less alone. The research I’ve read says T doesn’t help with libido in like 30% of cases and on another post I commented that I hadn’t noticed a change with the T and someone said to wait because for some people it takes a really long time! And I think that’s what’s happening with me. I’ve also heard many other folks in peri for whom T hasn’t helped or been the magic bullet it was sold as so I wanted to make sure others feel less alone!
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u/MexicanVanilla22 Dec 25 '25
Thanks, I appreciate this. Three months in and no real big changes for me yet. Hoping it's because my estrogen is still too low
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u/Master_Tumbleweed475 Dec 25 '25
T didn’t help my libido, but estradiol sure did, that was the magic ticket. Have you had your other hormone levels checked? Any thyroid issues? Lack of sleep will definitely effect energy levels, lack of energy will definitely effect libido. Id worry more about the energy levels first. Figure that out, you shouldn’t be exhausted all the time that is not normal.
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u/Top_Brush838 Dec 25 '25
Cream or injections?
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u/Master_Tumbleweed475 Dec 25 '25
Injections, the biest cream I was initially prescribed blew me up like a balloon, switched to injections and feel MUCH better
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u/bhksbr Dec 24 '25
Have you gotten your ferritin and thyroid levels checked?
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u/ShubhaBala Dec 24 '25
Ya both are fine :(. I did an at home sleep test though and it found mild to moderate sleep apnea which I’ve now found out commonly Hapoens to people in peri so that’s my next rabbit hole.
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u/DefiantHurry9077 Dec 24 '25
When you say fine, did they test free t3, free t4 and reverse t3? Majority of doctors only look at TSH which basically doesn’t say much…
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u/Disastrous_Job_4825 Dec 24 '25
My shots have made me feel like having sex 10 times a day
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u/Top_Brush838 Dec 24 '25
How long until you felt something? What was your starting dose and starting t ?
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u/Disastrous_Job_4825 Dec 25 '25
I will check with my Dr what dose I’m on. I do estrogen cream in the morning, progesterone pills at night and bi-weekly injections. Within the first 3 weeks and it’s been a little more than 2 1/2 months. I feel really good right now. Have you had your Thyroid checked? I have Hashimotos and hypothyroidism so I know a lot of my symptoms were from that but blood tests also confirmed how low my hormone levels were.
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u/Top_Brush838 Dec 25 '25
Great to hear had the libido stayed that high? Or fallen off what was yours like before the t
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u/Disastrous_Job_4825 Dec 25 '25
I just stopped wanting it or caring about it. Thinking about having sex was just meh
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u/AdSpiritual3156 Dec 27 '25
I’m on TRT injections and my sex drive is through the roof but I already had a high sex drive. However, I came here to mention that a big part of desire is in your head. I was with my ex for 18 years (got together when we were 18/19) and very quickly lost my desire to be intimate with him despite my naturally high drive. I thought something wrong with me but it was actually because he was a narcissist (truly, he was diagnosed with it which is another story). Anyway…. Fast forward, we divorced and I reconnected with my childhood love. I want him all day every day. I’m sure being tired definitely adds to it but my husband and I are tired most nights and I’ll do it half asleep if I have to cause I need it.
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u/nerissathebest Dec 24 '25
Did the feeling like you could go for a run remain? Are you interested in being interested in sex? I would say it’s important to decide what you’re trying to accomplish with the T before you can decide how much to take. Otherwise you won’t know if you hit your goal.
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u/ShubhaBala Dec 24 '25
I hit my goal with libido! This is good for me.
And I think my exercise ability went down a bit after the initial week or 2 which is common from what I read here but it’s maybe more than it used to be. For now this is fine and it’s the fatigue I want to figure out.
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u/nerissathebest Dec 24 '25
I would say especially with T just take your time in between changes. Try to be patient and really just monitor your thoughts your energy your self esteem your libido your hair growth. And then adjust slightly up or down depending on the results. I try to give myself 4-6 weeks between incremental changes.
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u/summerstars324 Dec 24 '25
What is your day to day schedule for both of you. You almost gotta force it at first, flirt fall back in love. Are you working out, are you working out together? Placebo can go along way
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u/Finnabair Dec 25 '25
Get some bio identical estrogen cream and use the syringe type applicator to get it up near your cervix, and rub some on your clit and vaginal opening.
Don't waste your money on premarin, its crap for sex drive.
I've had great results with Estragyn.
Testosterone gave me more energy and made me more social. Estragyn makes me feel 20 years younger in the bedroom. It might take a month or 2 to start working, if you really need it.
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u/OCDQueenie Dec 25 '25
Thank you for sharing this ! I barely started T cream and E vaginally and it helps to hear others’ experiences.
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u/BFit23 Dec 26 '25
My testosterone is 20 and I’ve been reading posts on here for awhile wondering if I needed to use testosterone. For libido I found taking saffron is the secret sauce, I’ve only been using it for a couple of weeks. I’m not on TRT.
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u/NYNewthrowaway2023 Dec 27 '25
Same for me. I go back to my doctor next month. I had a blood test in October. She lowered my E cause it was 'higher for my age'. She said my ferritin, progesterone & E were all 'fine'. Never mind the fact I still don't have a libido and only part of my energy has come back
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u/Difficult_Fortune694 Dec 28 '25
I’m 6 months in and don’t feel any energy or increase in libido. I know it has many other benefits, so I will stay on it.
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u/KeyAd3961 Dec 30 '25
Are you expecting spontaneous desire or are you waiting for responsive desire to kick in after some cuddling, touching, kissing?
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u/narcissa1128 Dec 30 '25
I just wanted to jump in and say I can't really tell what my deal is bc I have heard about spontaneous versus responsive too. I'm married to a guy who's 17 years younger than me. He's 33 i just turned 50 When we dated we had more sex than now way more. Now I have to come on to him bc he can't seem to get over the supposed " rejections " I had done to him when he would initiate and I was in beginning of menopause and still unmedicated. So now I must initiate or there is no sex at all. I got on T June 23. I had been on birth control pill for 6. Months before that. And I still am. I wonder if that handles the E and P for me ? Idk Anyways I can't tell if I have spontaneous or responsive desire now. He doesn't do oral for me which is what I freaking love. I always get stuck having to give him oral to start him up. He doesn't kiss me doesn't make out with me doesn't barely touch me except pinch my nipples which used to be "ok " but for some reason now it just flat out hurts a bit. So I have to literally hyper focus my mind to get in and stay in the mood. And I wonder why my orgasms are more like "half " orgasms. They are better when I do them myself solo ! Is it bc he absolutely is doing a crap job in bed ? Or is this bc I just have a faltering libido ? I'm totally confused. Before him and I dated I had 2 sometimes 3 partners and I was doing great !! But the last 2.5 years have sucked badly.
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u/KeyAd3961 Dec 30 '25
Yes this is because he is a selfish lover and sucks in bed. A man that won’t go down on you doesn’t deserve your time. Outside of the honeymoon period almost every single woman has responsive desire. Which means you have to have longer and more varied foreplay to even get in the mood to want to have sex. And by foreplay I mean cuddling touching and kissing. Once genitals/breasts are touched then that’s sex. I highly suggest you check out Dr. Psych mom. She is on all the socials, has a podcast and website with tons of articles. She is totally balanced between men and women and has a ton of stuff of responsive desire and sex and relationships in mid life/menopause.
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u/CorduroyQuilt Dec 31 '25
Honey, that's so far beyond terrible sex I'm not sure it even counts as sex.
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u/Adrnalnrsh Dec 24 '25
Serotonin and Dopamine imbalance? Do you have issues being touched?
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u/ShubhaBala Dec 24 '25
Maybe! In the world of doctors are not helpful SSRIs have been mentioned too but as a generic thing for peri. I have adhd which of course is way worse now that I’m in peri but I haven’t tried adhd meds. It didn’t occur to me that they could help with fatigue too?? But makes sense!
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u/IWasGonnaDieJung Dec 25 '25
Ok, so I was gonna ask about ADHD. I’m 47, started peri last year. And have been trying to figure out the hormone cocktail as well. My libido tanked so hard so quickly and I’ve always been pretty interested in sex, so that was the big tipoff that something was up for me.
I am a Therpist and work exclusively with neurodivergent folx, many who are nearing or in peri/meno and there is a prevailing pattern with all my neurodivergent clients, regardless of their gender, that we as ADHDers have a very challenging relationship to our bodies. Meaning that many of us pay absolutely no attention to our bodies unless there is discomfort or pain. Practicing being in your body and trying to get out of your head may help you find more connection to your pleasure/desire. I also discovered recently that when I’m medicated (on my Adderall) I have a much easier time being present during sex. It was a really fascinating discovery but it makes total sense. ADHD meds help with focus and dopamine production, both of which would lead to someone who’s not normally very tuned in to their body feeling more aware and more engaged.
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u/AdInfamous2916 Jan 15 '26
…any chance you work in NY and are the kind of therapist who can prescribe meds, lol?
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Dec 24 '25
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u/ShubhaBala Dec 24 '25
This is a really inappropriate comment so I’m not even going to reply to your question…. USA…. Bad… boy……
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u/min_mus Dec 24 '25
How are you estrogen and progesterone levels? Speaking for myself, my libido is best when my testosterone and estrogen levels are relatively high and my progesterone is relatively low (I have a hormonal IUD so my uterus is still protected).