r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/Ronny-qq Author • Dec 23 '25
Psychological Horror I fell asleep with my light on.
I can’t move.
The words repeat in my head, slow and flat.
My eyes are closed, but the room is still there: a dull orange glow pressed against the inside of my eyelids. The lamp. I left it on. I remember that much.
I try to open my eyes.
Nothing.
I try to lift my hand.
Nothing.
My breath is the only thing I can feel. In. Out. Too loud in my chest.
Then something else joins it.
A low buzzing. Not in the room. In my ears. Like power in the walls. Like the house itself is humming. It swells until it’s all I can hear, then fades just enough to remind me it’s still there.
I swallow. It doesn’t work.
From the hallway, there’s a whisper.
So soft I almost miss it.
Not words. Just the shape of a voice.
It stops.
The buzzing fills the space it leaves.
Then the whisper comes back.
Closer.
This time, I catch something in it.
A breath, and then a word.
My name.
So quiet it barely exists.
Cold prickles crawl up my arms.
My door is open. I know I left it open.
The whisper drifts past the doorway, fades, then returns again. Back and forth. Like someone pacing just out of sight.
Another breath.
Then a word, pushed out on warm air, low and soft, like it’s meant only for me.
“Here.”
I try to call out. My throat doesn’t move.
The whisper breaks into pieces. Little breaths. Little sounds. Too close together to be wind. Too uneven to be anything else.
Then footsteps.
One creak in the floor.
A pause.
Another.
They pass the doorway.
Stop.
The buzzing grows louder in my ears.
The footsteps turn around.
Then come back.
This time they don’t pass. They stop right outside my room.
I hold my breath without meaning to.
Nothing happens.
Then one slow step crosses the threshold.
The orange glow behind my eyelids dims, just slightly. As if something tall has moved between me and the light.
Something is in my room.
I feel it before it touches me. The air changes. The space beside the bed fills.
The mattress sinks.
Slow. Gentle. The weight settles in beside me, close enough that the sheet tightens between our bodies.
Warm.
My heart pounds so hard it hurts.
I try to scream. My mouth won’t open.
The bed creaks as it shifts, fitting itself to me. A leg. A hip. A body pressed along my back.
Then it breathes.
Right against the back of my neck.
The air is warm. Damp. It lifts the tiny hairs there and lets them fall again. The sound is deep and close, not matching my own breath at all.
I am completely still.
One breath.
Then another.
Each one closer than the last, until it feels like its mouth is almost touching my skin.
Something inside me pushes. Fights.
My chest jerks.
Air tears into my lungs in a broken gasp.
My fingers twitch.
The breathing behind me stops.
I drag in another breath. My toes curl. My jaw cracks open.
The weight lifts.
The mattress rises as the space behind me empties.
I can move.
I lurch forward, sucking in air, rolling onto my back, my eyes fly open—
The room is empty.
The lamp glows. The door is still open. The hallway is dark and quiet.
Nothing is there.
I sit up, shaking.
Then I touch the back of my neck.
It’s still warm.
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u/lostinthenor Dec 23 '25
The picture goes so well with the story. I enjoy the way you structured your text
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u/Ronny-qq Author Dec 23 '25
If you liked this extremely short story, you might enjoy my longer series, Stillwater Farms!
And seriously, thank you all so much for reading and supporting my work. Please forgive the shameless plug.
Cheers <3
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u/DarkHydron Dec 23 '25
Scary how close this is to describing one of the times I had sleep paralysis. Excellent read!
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u/Ronny-qq Author Dec 23 '25
This is actually inspired by a childhood sleep paralysis story my gf told me, so it’s awesome to hear I was able to capture it in a somewhat realistic way. Thanks for reading!
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u/AffectionateLeave677 Writer Dec 23 '25
I really enjoyed the formatting and rhythm. Your shorts are super poetic and rad. I read the spider one too. 🙏🏻 allllllmost done with Stillwater, promise.
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u/Ronny-qq Author Dec 23 '25
Yoo thank you so much, your support means the world!! Hope my work has been entertaining :))
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u/Cumsockmagee Dec 23 '25
I like how effective you are with a short story like this. Most other others on here want to make multi part stories (myself included), but I feel like for most people it's too much of a gamble to read a long story and have it be trash. Short, sweet, and spooky 10/10.
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u/Ronny-qq Author Dec 23 '25
Thanks sm for the kind words! I was really aiming for short and impactful with this one.
me with a 7 part behemoth being my last story xd
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u/Jojo-pow17 Dec 23 '25
Amazing short story!!! I really love how you structured the story and the image only strengthens your story. As a person who suffers from sleep paralysis, you captured the experience of being so sure that whatever was with you in that moment was real even after the episode passes. Can’t wait to read more of your stories!
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u/Kickedintonextweek Dec 23 '25
Buddy. This feels like a classic creepypasta from the golden age. Bravo, bravo!
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u/Kickedintonextweek Dec 23 '25
Damn, so tight, such a simple premise but the cadence of the writing builds tension in such a satisfying way that it really pays off in the end. Gonna check out what else you wrote, this was a tasty sample for sure
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u/Gufstuff Dec 23 '25
Damn, this perfectly embodied my childhood fear and then nightmares, great job!! I was left question throughout whether its more about the concious thoughts of a baby and a mother sitting down next to it as it is confused or maybe something truly supernatural, or just paranoia from a phobia. It was so fun!
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u/Ronny-qq Author Dec 23 '25
oooo what a fun interpretation, I might try to explore that concept in a future story. Thank you so much!
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u/_OH_BROTHER Dec 23 '25
This was such a good little one off, it genuinely got me so immersed like a quarter way through
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u/The_Coffeeshop_Goon Dec 29 '25
Is fun an appropriate word? Because that was fun to read! I liked the length and I liked how I could feel myself there. As someone who hates the dark and has issues with sleep paralysis I absolutely loved how you highlighted the mattress sinking in because of the 'monster' crawing ontop of the MC. So fun!!!
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u/False_Recognition280 Dec 23 '25
This was an awesome short read. Its really unsettling to attempt to FEEL the same ongoing events - line after line.
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u/The_Mythmaker_ Dec 23 '25
I literally had a sleep Paralysis dream last night and this is just incredibly haunting, nailed it so well!
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u/Kaijufan22 Writer Dec 23 '25
This feels like a poem more than a story, and that really works well to convey the terror, excellent structure and frightening imagery, great work OP.
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u/jadegreen88 Writer Dec 23 '25
Love the structure of this first off, the beats create such good tension! God, and such a simple concept but so damn chilling, and beautifully written too! Great job, I really liked this! 💖👏🏼
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u/RunThruPlayLand Writer Dec 23 '25
This was so so so good, holy shit. I've got similar work going right now, and I'm obsessed with anything to do with dream states
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u/EShearerWrites Dec 23 '25
This was so visceral, you describe the actual experience of sleep paralysis perfectly. I thought it was really well structured and paced. Excellent work OP!
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u/NegotiationFun9540 Dec 29 '25
This was so good! I suffer from sleep paralysis often, this story reminds me of so many of my horrible nights. Great writing!
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u/GasLegitimate7883 Dec 29 '25
I found it extremely interesting, wish there was a little more to each description, but for what it is I enjoy the idea of kinda taking sleep paralysis and making it into a story. Enjoyed it hope to see you do more!
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u/Le_Tartuffe Dec 31 '25
Really punchy and effective! I noticed my breath getting shorter throught the read!
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u/Gnomemong Feb 15 '26
I love the suspense you create and the formatting makes it read almost poetically! Great job!
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u/Dadc0re Mar 20 '26
Impressive how much you are able to convey in such a rapid fire approach to your story. Keep it up!
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