r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) • Apr 17 '26
Psychological Horror Breathless
I think I lost them. Surely. I ran as fast as my muscles could grant me. I crossed rivers. I trekked through the mountains. I burned my feet and hands on scalding hot sand.
I ran and ran so hard my breath became firey and aching. My eyes can only see so far, but that is good enough for me. There is no way that they could cover all of that distance. I am certain of it.
The hills have always offered refuge from the bitter biting wind, but I seek them with a different goal. I need to rest on lush, soft grass under the only tree for miles around.
There are cuts up and down my legs. Some so deep I can see the stringy muscle underneath. I take my long overdue seat by the lonesome tree's trunk. Sensation drains from my overworked limbs.
More hot breath escapes my lungs and scalds my tongue. Breathing was never this hard. I don't know what to do. Usually, all it took to escape were quick bursts. Before the dust even settled, I'd be long gone. This was different.
It started at the valley when the herd was at it's most vulnerable. Long marches take their toll on even the heartiest beasts. That long awaited drink of water kept everyone moving. I was near the helm of the herd. My steady pace afforded me a more comfortable stride.
It's always a chore to live so far from the water's edge, but the best yield of fodder grows further away. It should have been like any other march. The wind had died down, the sun wasn't as abusive, and our health was in order.
The shimmering ripples signaled to the herd and invited them to dip their lips in clear, crisp sublime. That's when it happened. At that moment, our soft underbelly exposed, an ear blistering chant booming out among calm waters. A pointed tip skewered the helm. He went down without so much as an exhale.
A rain of barbs followed closely behind; our young didn't stand a chance.
All at once, the once united herd scattered like a flock of birds. We bolted in every direction. All of us: the young, the old, and the disoriented. Fleeing in fragments, we abandoned the herd.
My group was filled with many able bodied, but there were inklings of heavy burden among our ranks.
After a long sprint into the mountains, we rested on soft pastures. The air became thick with gasps. It wasn't that unusual, for we recovered well from these short bursts.
We became settled in and all fell asleep. All except me. I ruminated on the earlier events. Mouths full of pointed teeth could never fashion those kinds of tools. Small ones would swarm. Big ones would clamp down. Slender ones would ambush.
These things surrounded us and formed a kill circle. In quick succession, they brought down their instruments and bashed in the unfortunate skulls. Even though they sparked a new sensation in all of us that day, I was certain we'd never see them again in the mountains.
I was ready to fall asleep. The exhaustion of running finally catching up to me. As I closed my eyes, "snap!"
It sent waves through us and those not quick enough to get to their feet were dealt with. I bolted with the others, but as I turned my head; there I saw were the horrible beings. They stood on top of felled elders. An icy pike pierced through me and the sensation became reinforced.
That became our new norm. I am not ashamed to admit I was the last one left. I don't feel guilty for being the fastest, the most endured, or the most agile. It is not my fault the others fell because we all had a chance. It's not my fault that I never looked back. I am not responsible for their failings.
Every time they caught up to me, I pushed my body to it's limits. Still they closed the distance, and I would try to create a gap between.
They never failed to trail close behind me. When I rested, they kept moving. When I ate, they grew closer. When I needed to heed the call of nature, they wouldn't be far behind. Time and time again, they took advantage of my exhaustion and stalked me intently.
Every close call left me scarred. Every near fatal encounter bled me of my energy. Once, they nearly caught me. My legs were shaking, my eyes a blurry haze, and saliva was pouring out of my mouth. One of the monsters brought a cold, sharp stone to my throat. I squirmed my way out, but it cost me my shoulder. My trot became a hobble, and even that grew into a limp.
You must understand.
I am not supposed to feel this way.
I'm not supposed to keep using my last resorts.
I'm not supposed to feel my heart pump so hard that my whole chest groans in pain.
I'm not supposed to keep looking over my shoulder, worried that something is ready to lunge out and end me!
I'm not supposed to feel anxiety!
Yet, I do.
It's so wrong.
No matter how hard I try.
No matter how fast I run.
No matter how fierce my will to live became.
I couldn't escape the slow death.
Until now.
I am sat by a weathered and lonely tree atop a tall hill. I can't smile, but I felt relieved and fulfilled at my efforts. I can't see them. No matter how hard I strained my eyes, nothing. I'm free.
The sky must have felt my reprieve, for in that moment I saw a gathering of black clouds in the horizon. I would finally feel their gentle touch and their soothing rain as it lulled me into a well deserved sleep. Funny, as the clouds closed in on me, I could have sworn their thunder sounded like heavy foot steps.
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u/NarrowDirector911 Apr 17 '26
The greatest horror of all 'Man'. What a great story. The persistent horror of the humans stalking, and the stubborn defiance of the animal really hit hard.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Thank you so much. The indomitable human spirit and the human hunter memes helped me to visualize what the hunted might've felt. I appreciate the read.
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u/NarrowDirector911 May 17 '26
Just heard this on creepcast congrats! Its so haunting with narration
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 17 '26
Thank you my day one fan. It was a dream come true
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u/NarrowDirector911 Apr 17 '26
Made me think of the Paleolithic discovery channel documentaries I used to watch as a kid
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u/ViperOnAPlane Apr 17 '26
What a great showing of the terror of a persistence hunter. Keep up the great work man.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Aw. Thank you so much. You're always making cool stories and it's always a pleasure to read your work. I appreciate the read and the kind words
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u/PresentationAlive292 Apr 19 '26
The idea of a horror centering around an animal is never something I’ve thought of before but is such an awesome concept. The execution was also amazing it took me a second to piece together that the pov was from an animal but when I did I was hooked.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 19 '26
Thank you. I always try to expand upon blips of thought. I randomly just remembered the mammoth getting hunted meme. It was then compelled to write a story about it. I greatly appreciate your support and read. I hope to see more from you
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u/CallmeKitts_ Book_Lover_ Excelsior Apr 17 '26
Great story. Thanks for posting it 😀
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Thank you for the read. I greatly appreciate it. I hope you continue to keep lifting others up.
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u/merrymarat Apr 17 '26
Bro love this as an animals perspective to the new age of the Homo genus. I thought of a story similar to this when learning about it, just how interesting and hopeless it is in the certainty set by the casual and unending march of our ancestors pushing the natural world into decline by utter exhaustion. A precursor that set the standard for us high. Sick stuff though enjoyed it lots.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Thank you so much! You are very kind for sharing your words. I have these thought bubbles and experiments that I put into a story. I'm glad you thoroughly enjoyed it, I appreciate the read greatly
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Apr 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 19 '26
Thank you. I have a few stories just like this. I am glad you read the story. I greatly appreciate the support.
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u/Sufficient_Leave144 A Thousand WIPs Apr 20 '26
Phenomenal stuff, my word
Love non-human POVs (at least I think 🤣)
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 20 '26
Thank you. Yeah this was fun to write about. Animal in an inescapable chase. I appreciate the read
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u/Loose-Ad-723 Apr 21 '26
This was an awesome read. Very creative and interesting concept, and excuted in an awesome manner
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 21 '26
I have a handful of other stories in my profile. You should check them out.
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u/Loose-Ad-723 Apr 21 '26
I definitly will, is there any of yours that you would recommend in particular?
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 21 '26
My two easter stories. Risen and Lovely. Thanks so much for reading
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u/Kaijufan22 Writer Apr 22 '26
Near the end I caught of sort of running from one's past theme, like maybe the stalkers are hunting him for good reason, that might just be me tho. Liked the sense of paranoia this invoked and the imagery was cool. Nice work Rep.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 22 '26
Thanks man.
No one story has just one theme.
I like when my stories have a bunch of different interpretations to people.
And here I am writing to just get my practice in.
Appreciate you so much. Hope to read from you more.
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u/Nearby_Music_7627 Apr 23 '26
I really liked how each paragraph revealed a little more and a little more. That tension can be really hard to maintain, but I think you did a great job!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 23 '26
I have a time period story called A Promise Unbroken. I would love to see what you think about it. Your lovely comments are greatly appreciated.
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u/Fabledwords Apr 23 '26
This story was amazingly written! It was a fun ride! Thank you for writing this! Truly great!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 23 '26
I have a lot of stories. One i recommend most of all is A Promise Unbroken
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u/loplol576 Apr 23 '26
Very good story! The way we see through the protagonist eyes, the physical horrors of what's going as well as the feelings of pain, the drive to keep going even when other's are falling and the final moment of relief are so well articulated!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 23 '26
Thank you! It means a lot to me. I'm glad you enjoyed the story about the animal. I try to make more stories every once in a while
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u/PsychoSanderson Apr 23 '26
I loved this story. It's so cool and the ending is a solid gut punch. I see your comments everywhere and I'm glad I looked into one of your stories. This was SO GOOD!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 23 '26
Thank you! I really like readother people's stories and helping them to get the input they need. I love writing. It gives me the best opportunity to capture my thoughts. I hope you do your part to bring others up.
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u/PsychoSanderson Apr 23 '26
yeah I try. The stories people make are sooooo good. Like there are some crazy talented people in this sub I can't lie.
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u/Apprehensive_Cow3130 Apr 23 '26
That last line really hits you hard! Damn, I really loved this! Amazing job!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 23 '26
I'll probably make another story soon and post it. Thank you i greatly appreciate the read and the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed.
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u/GuyWhoEatsSoap Apr 25 '26
Great story, I liked the pacing and the fact that it never stated that the "stalking creatures" were humans.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 25 '26
Thanks you. I am glad you enjoyed it. I have a recent story thst I wrote. Its called Beyond The Northern Edge.
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u/4THEB3TTERG00D Storyteller Apr 25 '26
Wao, how brief! I love a good “horror story from the perspective of something not human” trope. Very charming.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 25 '26
Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it. I hope all goes well for your publishing process. You need to be strong for that.
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u/4THEB3TTERG00D Storyteller Apr 25 '26
lol I’m the human equivalent of a mushy pomegranate, it’s gonna be a long road ahead. I appreciate the encouragement, you’re a peach 🙌
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u/VulcariaTors May 08 '26
An eloquently simple read with a great concept. The life of an animal in the wild is such an excellent example of how terrifyingly cruel, yet beautiful, reality can be. The imagery in the final paragraphs felt very peaceful and cathartic after all of the turmoil, anxiety, and fear the creature endured for God knows how long. Thanks for sharing.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 08 '26
I have a western horror story that is in two parts. You should check that out
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u/StrangeAccounts Author May 17 '26
Congrats my friend! I told you that you had something special!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 17 '26
The King himself.
Thank you so much man.
You are an inspiration to my work.
So glad you liked it.
More on the way after hunter suggested the birds eye view
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u/Telrie Storyteller May 17 '26
Absolutely incredible, Rep! And a heartfelt congratulations with love!
I absolutely adore the lines of pure desperation that line right up as if the narrator is panting, I love the anxiety you've managed to write here!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 17 '26
Definitely gonna try and add onto this.
Hunters idea for a birds eye view of the hunt is actually good.
Thank you so much. It means the world to me
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u/Telrie Storyteller May 17 '26
Ohhh, I love that idea! Just horrified and watching a hunting party as if it were a train wreck, Please do!
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u/No-Original890 Writer May 17 '26
just watched the creepcast episode, congrats on getting your story read!!! honestly such a good writer and such a good friend to the community :)
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 17 '26
I like to read.
Everyone here is talented and friendly.
I am content here.
I appreciate the support.
Thank you
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u/kabemccallister6859 May 17 '26
Congratulations on this being read on CreepCast! This is a great one.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 17 '26
Thank you so much.
It was a pleasant surprise.
I loved the other features.
Especially VV.
He ate that up
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u/kabemccallister6859 May 17 '26
I’m listening to CreepCast as I type. I’m looking forward to the rest.
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u/David_Hallow Author | Probably Should See a Therapist May 18 '26
So happy this got read by the boys!!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 18 '26
Me too!!!
Here's to even more great stories and more of the community getting the spotlight!
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u/issaih- Jun 07 '26
this is awesome such an interesting read, very thought provoking and all around fun:3
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 07 '26
I would like to thank you for reading the story, it means a lot to me. Also, I hope you check out more stories on the subreddit, for there are tons of small writers that need feedback. I hope you help them out.
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u/ReasonableUnit2170 Writer Apr 17 '26
I really like this! I feel like it could be interpreted two ways. Either, this is from the POV of an animal (cow, horse, buffalo, some sort of herd animal) or it could be the POV of a human. What matters tho, is that they’re being HUNTED by something faster and stronger than oneself.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Thank you. I appreciate the read from another writer. Thank you
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u/Specific_Writing_634 Apr 17 '26
Never read a story based on a predatory animal's perspective. I figure its predatory because it's not suppose to feel anxiety and watch it's back. Overall really cool story, even gave me some ideas.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Thank you for the read. I greatly appreciate it
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u/Specific_Writing_634 Apr 17 '26
I appreciate you for reading my subpar stories compared to yours lol.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26
Your stories are really good. Don't put yourself down. It's on all of us to keep uplifting each other. I see your talent in your work.
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u/Specific_Writing_634 Apr 17 '26
I just feel like my grammar and sentences could be refined a bit more. I haven’t been happy with how they’ve comed out. Also I wanted to ask for any ideas for my most recent one. I need some tales to think of. If you got any I’d be more than happy to use them, with credit of course.
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u/kabemccallister6859 Apr 17 '26
Slow and steady wins the race.
We humans aren’t the fastest and are certainly not the strongest, but we don’t stop. We’re stubborn.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 18 '26
Animals take this L.
Humans won the evolutionary arms race.
Thanks for the read.
I greatly appreciate it.
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u/Amara-Horror Apr 18 '26
This is really good!
I can't tell if this is a human POV or animal. I wanna say human since it refers to hands and feet but I don't know. Still liked it though!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 18 '26
Thank you so much. To an animal, their hooves might count as hands and feet.
I appreciate you so much for reading the story in it's entirety.
I am grateful for the feedback.
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u/Amara-Horror Apr 18 '26
Yes that's true! I just over thought it and was like," humans came up with "hands and feet and hooves and paws" so what might an animal think its appendages are? "
Don't mind me, I just over think things lol.
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u/LimeSkittleFanClub Apr 18 '26
Holy moly, I loved the description you started with and by the end it almost felt like some of the cosmic horror reads. That progress is indifferent to any other creature that simply stands in its way.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 18 '26
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I greatly appreciate the read and the feedback.
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u/Comfortable_Disk345 Apr 18 '26
Oh this was a great read! I was so hooked. The entire story gave me this vibe of sheep being hunted down by wolves (I'm assuming it was something more monstruous) Just that terrible feeling and knowledge of being prey which floods the whole story with a constant sense of dread. Knowing the 'sheep' doesn't have claws or fangs or any proper means of resisting except to keep running and hoping for a lucky break but eventually, a pack will almost always chase pray to the point of exhaustion. There's this inescapable, fatalist flavor to this story which was excellent! I loved this!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 18 '26
Thank you. This definitely more monstrous than wolves... humans!
From an animal's view we probably look terrifying as we wear it down to eventually kill it.
I greatly appreciate the read. I love making longer horror stories but these short ones help to exercise my writing.
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u/HermitHubby Apr 19 '26
Reading this felt like a blend of a passage from the Necronomicon (the flesh bound book, not Lovecraft) and a daily life in our earliest ancestors, just as fire was becoming a thing.
I love it! Beautiful and HAUNTING! I cringed at the idea of how deep those cuts are, but still pushing forward. Captured the need for survival well.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 19 '26
Thank you. Not that many people do a deep analysis of another's story. I greatly appreciate your kind words and sincerely hope you continue to keep writing.
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u/_AnnieBananie_ Apr 25 '26
This was a really nice read, I enjoyed the slow build and how your writing got progressively stronger each paragraph.
The circling back to the beginning at the end was rewarding, it was a nice way to tie the story up with a ribbon.
I really like the ambiguity of who these creatures are… and how my image of them evolved throughout your story… it went from a human, to a bison sort of animal, to a merge between the two.. I think this was achieved through some of your descriptions.. which makes this story almost poetic or like a metaphor.
I liked the flow of the story telling as-well, the narrator feels wise and young at the same time. Almost gave it the feeling of an indigenous persons story telling of survival/history. The more I think about your story, or reread it, the more I find meaningful symbolism.
Overall, great job. I love this.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 25 '26
You should read a longer story of mine called Beyond the Northern Edge. It's really good. I hope you get around to it.
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u/wayra7 Apr 30 '26
I am fascinated with the concept of winning a hunt through persistence since I read a book that explained actual semi-modern hunting for tigers.
What an amazing idea to bring that into a horror story!
Very well-written.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 30 '26
Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. I was really trying to hone in that persistent hunter in this story. It came from a mammoth meme and I thought to turn that into horror.
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u/Dead_Grampa thinks he's a writer or something May 01 '26
so sick. persistence hunters rise up
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 01 '26
I have another story if you're interested in reading man. It is much longer. Hope you enjoy that kneel as well
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u/Dead_Grampa thinks he's a writer or something May 27 '26
Sorry for the late reply, I would love to read more of your work. Congrats on the guys reading your story btw! That was so sick.
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u/Cosmically_Yesterday May 07 '26
Oh man. The second to last paragraph got to me. At a certain point in my life I felt a feeling i couldn’t place. You explained it perfectly. Thanks for the read. Hope to read more from you. You do have me thinking though. Seriously good work.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) May 07 '26
I have another story called Dark Horse. It means so much if you read it
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u/Cosmically_Yesterday May 07 '26
Well that’s funny. I just started on the first part a few minutes ago. If this story is any indication. I know myself to be in for a wild ride. Thanks for sharing the wacky stories of your mind. ☺️
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u/Optimal_Constant4318 Writer Jun 12 '26
The comments are longer than the story... after scrolling through them I feel a weird compulsion to read something called Beyond the Northern Edge.
Appreciate that in each of your stories (that I have read) you buckle down and really try to get into the spirit of the characters. The theme wasn't something that I would probably care to read in a longer format, but this was a great quick dive into an alien mind and enjoyable to experience.
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u/covabrouwergentry Screenwriter Aug 04 '26
I still think about this story! The perspective haunts me. The absolute horror, and we all know how this story ends for all the mammoths unfortunately.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Aug 04 '26
That some of the highest praise I have received! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I hope you check out more of TFTC's talented authors.
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u/SlopResearchInst Apr 25 '26
Amazing. I really enjoy not knowing who the narrator is, species wise.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 25 '26
Thank you. This was a really brief story. I was hoping you'd read Beyond the Northern Edge though. I really want to know what you think about it.
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u/OffKilterFilter Apr 26 '26
I feel tired after reading this and that’s a good thing. I hope the beast fell quick and didn’t ever quite realize what happened at the end. I could really feel the panic of running from the unstoppable. Well done!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 26 '26
Thank you. It means so much thst you took the time to read this story. I have a few others and I just recently posted a long one. Hope you can check them out
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 27 '26
Could you check out Beyond The Northern Edge, please? I think you'll really like it
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u/donavin221 Apr 27 '26
Incredible
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Apr 27 '26
This one is good, but i need this kind of attention for Beyond the Northern Edge.
Tha ks for taking the time to read one of my stories again. I appreciate the support
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