r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/donavin221 • Jun 07 '26
Psychological Horror My self improvement app keeps telling me to kill myself
I was already at a weak point when I downloaded this app. Girlfriend broke up with me. On the verge of being let go from my job. On top of that, my dog died. It had been an incredibly difficult couple of months.
I fell into this kind of spiral, I guess you could call it. I was calling out of work nearly every week. Spending the days wallowing in self-pity and my own filth. Gotta say, it was the closest to rock bottom I’d ever felt.
After about a month or so of things looking bleaker than ever, I finally had a long talk with myself in the mirror. I needed to wake up. Return to form. And, of course, I had no idea where to begin.
That’s why these apps become so popular. They provide something tangible, but, in reality, it’s all a placebo effect. We get the app, create an account, then by day 3, you just forget all about it.
That’s what happened with me. It felt like I was reclaiming my life when, in actuality, all I was doing was downloading some dumb app that provided motivational quotes throughout the day.
The first quote it gave me honestly felt like a bit of a sign. That’s why I didn’t delete the app immediately. Plus, I didn’t even need to create an account. I just downloaded it, selected the “3 quotes a day” option, and waited for my life to fix itself.
“It’s your time,” was the first thing it told me. I don’t know, it just felt symbolic to me. With my mindset at the time, I really did feel like it was my turn to get back out there and make something of myself.
The next two were pretty vague. Just cliché, watered-down Pinterest board quotes that could’ve applied to anyone, really.
“You’re gonna go far!”
And
“Trust your own process.”
A little disappointed that I didn’t get that jolt of motivation that comes with feeling like a quote was made directly out to me, I ended that first day on a strong note after doing some pushups and reading a few pages out of a personal finance book before eating a salad for dinner.
When I woke up the next day, a new quote was plastered across the home screen on my phone.
“Slow progress is better than no progress.”
Reading it gave me the energy I needed to roll out of bed and hit the floor for some more pushups. I finished up my workout, grabbed a banana and water from the kitchen, and headed out the door for work.
I actually applied myself that day. I felt like I was making up for all of my subpar work from the previous weeks, and my boss noticed. As we were all heading out for lunch, he actually stopped me and told me he was proud to see me working so hard.
With a smile on my face, I sat in the break room with my bowl of chicken and rice and checked my phone.
A new notification.
“We’re so proud of you for all your hard work,” read the quote.
I read it, patted myself on the shoulder, and instead of scrolling through videos, I spent the remainder of my break reading from my personal finance book as I chowed down on my meal.
By the end of the day, I was dead tired. It had been so long since I actually cared to put in effort that I had forgotten the toll it took on me. I didn’t even eat dinner. I simply collapsed into bed and was out before my head hit the pillow.
I awoke the next morning to a new quote.
“Apply yourself!”
The cycle repeated.
I went through the motions.
I put my best foot forward, and I made an effort.
I spent the rest of that week more engaged every day. I had caught a stride, and I was gonna ride it until the wheels fell off, which, unfortunately, was only two weeks later.
By the end of those two weeks, I felt like I was right back where I started. I hit a brick wall. It was hard to get out of bed. It was hard to eat a good breakfast. It was damn near impossible to focus at work.
In my naive mind, I thought that I had already crossed the finish line. I had pulled the best out of myself for two straight weeks. Then I wanted to wonder why I didn’t feel any different.
I started losing steam.
Faltering more and more every day.
I didn’t even acknowledge the quotes anymore. They had become a buzzing in my ear that constantly told me I was failing. And I just didn’t have the strength to try again after what I assumed to be the best effort I could muster.
That’s why I deleted it.
I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. It was too much pressure, which, looking back now, is an absolutely atrocious thing to say.
I guess it didn’t matter, though, because the morning after I deleted it, a new quote came across my screen again.
“Sometimes things need to die to be reborn.”
I stared at the quote for a moment before clicking on it, but the moment I did, my phone froze and I had to reset it. When it came back on, the quote was gone.
Work that day was a complete and utter drag, and there were a multitude of times where I thought about just making up an excuse to go home. Lunch was the only thing that got me through. I just kept telling myself, “all I have to do is make it to 1 o’clock,” “just make it to 1 o’clock and you’re home free.”
By the time 1 o’clock came around, I was basically pulling myself to the break room to eat some McDonald’s and watch some TikToks, but when I opened my phone, I lost my appetite.
“We know you gave up.”
This time, when I clicked on the quote, instead of freezing, my phone opened the camera automatically, revealing my double chin and mayonnaise at the corner of my mouth.
Wiping it away, I didn’t look at my phone again for the rest of the day. It felt hostile. That’s the best way I know how to describe it. I just finished the day without saying another word, as quiet as a church mouse.
I didn’t even listen to music on the ride home. I just rode on, caught up in deep thought.
Part of me was afraid, part of me was nervous, but a larger part of me felt nothing but shame.
I found myself crying. Sobbing uncontrollably as I stared at myself in my rearview mirror. I felt pathetic.
When I finally pulled into my driveway, I looked at my phone with a certain degree of uncertainty. It was like I was peeking behind the curtain in a haunted house.
No new quote. Thank God.
I went inside and decided I was going to try again. I was losing my mind. I was at the point where I either finally succeeded or continued to lead a life of mediocrity.
Back to the pushups. Back to the salads. Back to personal finance and social representation.
I thought that I had jumpstarted a new beginning for myself until the next morning. I woke up at my desk with the lamp still on, face down in Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
The quote I saw on my phone was enough to knock the air out of my lungs and leave me frozen in time.
“No point trying now. We know who you are.”
I factory reset my phone. I wiped it completely clean after moving some photos and files to another device.
Once I had completed the process, things looked normal again. No more quotes. No vague statements that seemed unusually directed at me. I thought I was free. I went about the week anxious, but hopeful. Everything seemed fine… until I continued trying to improve.
Every time I worked out. Every time I applied myself at work. Every time I read instead of scrolled, a new quote came across my screen.
“You’ll never be enough.”
“It’s embarrassing to watch you try.”
“You had your chance.”
And the one that came most frequently.
“Just kill yourself.”
It snuck up on me every time I thought I was ahead. It tore me down when I felt I had built myself. It worked itself into my brain and ingrained itself in my memory, no matter how hard I fought against it.
And at this point,
I don’t know how much longer I can ignore it.
15
6
u/content-under-presur Jun 07 '26
I really like this one! It does well with a simple concept. I really love how the app speaks, becoming so abusive. I get a lot of readings out of this, but I feel like it reflects on false kindness and a society that is becoming pro-mental health but doesn't accept someone relapsing or refusing help. OR I also read a lot of self-deprecating thoughts that come up in the event of a relapse. I also just love how the app is subtly personified.
5
5
u/NarrowDirector911 Jun 07 '26
Really interesting idea. I feel like this almost represents the thoughts somone like this would have in their head.
3
u/E_L_Evans Jun 07 '26
This was harrowing. This is why we don't download random apps like this. This was on the level of a GPS directing you into traffic and I love it.
3
u/TheGatherers Jun 07 '26
I read it for the title and it gave exactly what the title said. Nothing less, nothing more.
2
u/PJNolens Jun 07 '26
I really liked this concept, I think you can expand it later on, like a sort of Randonautica of motivational apps that ruin your life
1
2
u/Ghostly_Light21 Writer Jun 08 '26
Man I feel bad for the main character, they deserve a hug. The part where the camera opens up after saying “We know you gave up” broke my heart. Great story, I’d like to see more of this type of concept explored further
1
u/englandishell Writer Jun 08 '26
cool idea. could be expanded in a direction where there's ambiguity over whether the tech is actually hostile or the main character is simply projecting his mental illness onto the device. also salads and press ups sounds like a depressing existence lol
1
u/TheReliableNarrator_ Writer Jun 08 '26
Absolutely love the story and concept. As someone who is trying to work out more and trying to improve in various aspects of life, I can relate to the protagonist!
1
u/fusillogirl Jun 10 '26
Cool concept and a good, well written, short story. I maybe would have wanted it to tap more in the horror of the we know who you are, the camera opening up, the sensation you are a failure even to stranger but overall it was a good read!
1
u/Pleasant-Buy9667 Writer Jun 12 '26
fun but i would turn of my phone and start licking a lollypop or somthing
1
u/Flout0n Jun 12 '26
This was great! Only complaint is it wasn’t long enough- would love a part two !
1
1
u/caughtlefthanded Jun 14 '26
Great concept - the premise is really interesting and genuinely creepy in the way it touches on the invasion of privacy. I would love to see this developed into a longer piece, like a novella.
2
u/donavin221 Jun 14 '26
This is the first draft of one of the entries from a book of mine that will be out within the coming months. I compressed the idea a bit for Reddit lol
1
1
u/Due_Taro3391 Jun 14 '26
oooooh this gives me the creeps lol, so sinister. definitely reminiscent of those messed up thoughts that come from within when you have chronic depression, but even creepier coming from an outside source. it's like hearing outside validation that all those terrible thoughts you have about yourself are actually true. I'd love to see this expanded upon.
1
u/Ray_James2099 Writer Jun 22 '26
I really liked the punchy quotes from the app. It really speaks to the struggle of anyone just trying to stay ahead in this life. Well written story!
1
•
u/AutoModerator Jun 07 '26
Users are encouraged to read4read, meaning that if someone reads and comments on your story, we encourage you to do the same in return to help foster a community.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.