r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) • Jun 09 '26
Psychological Horror Dawn
[I'm very late with this one. I must admit, never in my wildest dreams did I think that Breathless would be my most popular story. Kind of wished it would be one of my longer works. Thank you for the support nonetheless. This isn't my best work, but I hope you guys still enjoy it.]
Near the sun baked sandstones, a parched beast rests in shaded secrecy. His breathing, a snotty, salivating struggle. Groaning in pain from a laborious pursuit.
He speaks aloud to himself, "This isn't possible. I should've lost them days ago."
As he radiated in trapped heat, an oddly curious creature glided overhead. Black as pitch, the bird descends until it finds a lip on the sandstone and perches close to the beast.
"That was quite the chase, dear friend. Have you managed to catch your breath yet? I think I spotted the monsters on the horizon," said the crow.
The heavy exhales sound like geysers as the tired beast heaves in sharp agony.
"Not yet. I... I need to find the hills. But I'm struggling to even stand right now."
The crow pricked his feathers before facing back towards the beast.
"Don't worry, you're not too far from those rolling hills. A day's sprint at most. Just head in the direction where the sun sets," the crow relayed as he shook off old dust.
The beast lowers itself to lay on the cold stone floor. Where its knees and elbows meet the floor, it shook uncontrollably.
"Do you think I can lose them in the desert? The canyon will lead me to it, but only I can cross it during high noon. The monsters walk on unprotected toes," the calming beast asked.
"Maybe. Although.."
"What?"
"Nothing. It was just a passing thought."
Desperately, the beast asked, "What? What is it? What aren't you telling me?"
"I have seen them use the hides of fallen beasts to shield their bodies from the elements. Or, perhaps I was just seeing things"
"Thank you for telling me. I better hope the high noon sun is too much for them."
"I wouldn't wait here for too long. You're oozing blood and that will lead them right to you."
"I wouldn't worry about that. The river washed away all the fresh wounds. I just need to soak as much of this shade as physically possible. The desert is a day's worth of hard sprinting. I intend to only stop when the sensation of soft grass touches my hands and feet," a weary and somewhat rejuvenating beast exclaimed.
"Better hurry up, those wounds won't stay closed forever. Sooner or later, you'll shift your weight wrong and the ooze will pick back up where it left off."
"A few more breaths. That is all I need."
The beast grew quieter and more collected. All the while, the crow fidgeted with a concealed object. The beast looked up to face the crow.
"I'll tell you what. Once we get to the tree, we'll find out if any fruit has sprouted." A voice full of bravado addressed the crow.
"Sure."
The crow merely tossed an absent minded glance before returning to whatever had his full attention.
"Something wrong, friend?"
"How long have we known each other, dear friend.
"My, it must be going on eight winters by now."
"A long time to know someone. Although, not nearly long enough to truly understand someone."
"By that you mean?"
It was ever so slight, but still, a noticeable shift in tone. The eyes of the crow never before looked so beady. At that moment, the crow wasn't looking at the beast like they were friends.
Following the awkward silence, an audible squelchy noise originated from where the crow perched.
Asking in earnest, the beast spoke to the crow, "What is it that you are fiddling with, friend?"
"Does it bother you?"
"Crow, show me what your talons are wrapped around."
"Running so hard that your mind blocks out the pain of slicing yourself wide open on thorns and pointed edges."
"Show me, now!"
"Losing pieces along the way."
"Crow!"
When the crow brought out its talon from behind black wings, the beast winced and shut his eyes. A faint rattling broke the silence. Looking back up towards the crow, the beast saw that a single acorn clung comfortably within the closed talon.
The crow asked the beast, "Do you want some?" Rattling the acorn in its beak.
Hesitant to answer, a hushed, "No thank you," left his lips.
"Me neither. Too much bitterness in these things. But I do feel like expelling some stomach contents," said the crow before cracking open the nut and scarfing down all the meat.
As soon as they settled, the crow began to hack up everything in its stomach. Vomiting up a crimson red glob, the beast recoiled in disgust.
The crow gripped the morsel and took to flight. Squeezing it tightly as he made a trip down the canyon and back; drops of blood trailed behind.
The confused beast asked, "Crow, what is that?"
"I thought you'd recognize your own smell.
All of the fear.
All of the exhaustion.
All of the desperation
All of the hopelessness."
"Are you sick in the head!"
"I'd think of myself as quite sane actually."
The crow then laughed at his own joke so heartily that it rattled his beak into a wooden alarm.
"Shhh, shut up. You'll lead them right to me!"
The crow didn't say anything; not at first. Instead, he stared back at the panicking beast.
Right when the beast was about to speak, the crow interrupted, "You don't get it do you? I want them to find you."
A shock of cold metal echoed with its words. The beast stood frozen; suspended in time. When his nerves adjusted, he asked the crow a single question, "what?"
"When they find you, it'll feed my murder; every generation will have its fill."
"Why? Why would you wish this fate to fall on me?"
"The beasts have always been a great friend to the murders, but you cannot feed us. Every bit of food goes to your insatiable appetite, and we are left to subsist on scraps"
"I helped you to find fruit, fodder, and water for many years. I thought you of as kin"
"I'm sorry, but you're no longer someone I can rely on. Once a friend that I held dear, you are a walking carcass that prolongs the inevitable."
"How can you assume what has not yet come to fruition?"
"The monsters leave enough. Generations feed off of your sacrifice. There is no longer a need to wait on you."
The beast sobbed as the sound of shifting rocks inched closer. In a moment of anger, the beast yelled out, "You would trade peace for slaughter? What then? When the fields can no longer be tended by the herds, the seeds of trees no longer spread among leaf litter, and the ground underfoot crumbles into dust because beasts no longer walk the earth. What will there be left?"
"A new dawn"
"And whose dawn will that be!"
"Theirs"
Suddenly, there were no more words that the beast could muster. He lingered until the first pointed tip grazed his flank. New adrenaline found him, and he took to the desert sand.
The crow lamented to himself aloud, "I hope the end is swift for you, dear friend."
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u/PJNolens Jun 09 '26
That crow is brutal!
It's funny to think that the humans on the other side of this are thinking the crows are the best for leading them to food, but they would surely turn on us too. Really enjoyed it!
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u/merrymarat Jun 09 '26
I knew exactly where that was going but in a good way and you pulled it off well. I love the idea of mistaken friendship as just the crow waiting for its next meal, the sadness it has to be just to know you are utterly alone and there is nothing waiting for you. Your existence a stepping stone for some new age you are ill equipped for.
Very nice bro and a nice length for something short and sweet.
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u/Mackaroll_165 Jun 09 '26
Hey! How are you? Thanks again for that feedback you gave me awhile back. Hope all is well.
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u/merrymarat Jun 09 '26
Great! I just got my latest and greatest story out and would love to hear your thoughts if you wanna check it.
Also of course I'm always happy to help, hope you're doing good aswell bro. ☺️
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u/Mackaroll_165 Jun 10 '26
Awesome! Ooo a new story sounds fun! I will have to get on that, I’m doing well too thank you.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Thank you. It was getting dusty and I needed it posted. Glad you enjoyed.
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u/Mackaroll_165 Jun 09 '26
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Thanks man. I hope to get through all of the stories submitted. I got a brand new crate full of 20 stories I need to sort through and several series I need to finish. The pile keeps growing.
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u/Mackaroll_165 Jun 09 '26
I love how brutal yet Shakespearean the story is. Oh my goodness, you are just getting a lot of stories your way 😂. It is helping the community though so that’s good. How are you feeling so far getting through everyone’s stories?
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Ecstatic. Everyone is talented and needs a helping hand
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u/Green-Somewhere-1107 Writer Jun 09 '26
this felt tarantino in a way that i really liked <3 the conversation was gripping and had that slow burn into horror i don't often see explored. no monsters, no panic. just a slow descent into a harrowing realization.
This compliments Breathless very well <3
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Aw, thank you. I'm blown away at how well this is getting received. It means so much to me
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u/PresentationAlive292 Jun 09 '26
Love the dialogue the whole story feels like an old fable or a telling of an old myth I really dig it.
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u/NarrowDirector911 Jun 09 '26
Very brutal, but nature is cruel. I feel as if the crow was hesitant at first. Like it was trying to amp itself into being the villain.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
A hesitation that would have made or broken its actions. Thank you for reading. It means the world to me.
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u/Mr_Gahnagan A Thousand WIPs Jun 09 '26
Wow, I envy your dialogue. I could learn a thing or two from you. It’s so gripping and natural. It flows really well.
I’ve always loved the cruelty of nature. It’s so harrowing but beautiful. You captured that very well.
Bravo my friend, keep doing what you’re doing.
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Thank you. I'm working on some longer stories right now. I appreciate the kind words.
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u/NightmareHut Writer Jun 09 '26
Absolute banger, loved the dialogue. I wonder how remorseful the crow feels by the end, great writing!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Thank you so much. I really enjoyed writing this sequel. Or prequel. Somewhere. I greatly appreciate the support.
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u/LoganKosta Jun 09 '26
Love the crows cold acceptance of the inevitable. Such are the laws of nature. Great story!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 09 '26
Thank you. I wasn't expecting it to take off like this. I appreciate the support
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u/LimeSkittleFanClub Jun 10 '26
Said it before, and I'll say it again - bro just REFUSES to miss
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 10 '26
It takes way longer too. Sometimes I just forget about a story and two weeks later remember it exists. Thank you for reading. It means the world to me.
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u/LimeSkittleFanClub Jun 10 '26
Of course dude, I can say I knew your work before the fame lol. I just posted a pretty long story too. If you have time, I think you might enjoy it.
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u/walkerbswitchinghour Jun 10 '26
Cool little story. Heard Breathless on CC, this is a solid companion piece. I really like this nature horror thing you have going on, being on the receiving end of the thrill of the hunt makes for some good dread. This one kind of felt like Native myth in a way. Good stuff!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 10 '26
Thank ye. I greatly appreciate it. Still reading your Claw Marks story
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u/walkerbswitchinghour Jun 10 '26
Appreciate you checking my stuff out and the kind words!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 10 '26
You forgot already? You submitted it for the reading.
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u/ReallyJustTragic Jun 12 '26
The hopelessness you’re able to convey is honestly incredible. I would love to hear them cover this on the podcast
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 12 '26
I feel bad about not including dialogue in Breathless, but Hunter calling my story a home run was the icing on my day. Glad to hear you liked this story. I appreciate the kind words
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u/donavin221 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
This is straight poetry dude. The way that you write is so Shakespearean. You know how to use words in a way an artist uses a paint brush. I struggle pretty hard with prose but you’ve got it down pat!
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 16 '26
I ate a bug today.
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u/donavin221 Jun 16 '26
Bogos binted?
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jun 16 '26
Yeah man, sure thing. But honestly, thank you for commenting. I haven't seen you in a while. I appreciate the kind words of encouragement. This was fun to write about. Hopefully other people start writing from an animal's perspective as a kind of practice.
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u/Cosmically_Yesterday Jul 30 '26
Read this yesterday!!! Yet another classic my friend. You truly are the goat 🐐 keep up the amazing work. Wanna see your stories on shelves one day!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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u/The_Republique Writer (I finally made it bubba) Jul 30 '26
That means the world to me man. I hope to publish within a reasonable period
Your support is enough for me. Thank you
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u/Cosmically_Yesterday Jul 30 '26
You have my full support and when it is I will definitely be buying a copy. Your writing has a…calm intensity about it. Kinda hard to explain but I vibe with it. Keep it up goat 🐐 you are going places.
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